Angrybeaver? Hell, I'd hit it

You know those magnets they feed to the cow, and it swallows them and so all the metal it eats otherwise gets stuck to that magnet and doesn't hurt the rest of the cow? I feel like that magnet sometimes.
posted to MetaTalk by jessamyn at 3:16 PM on August 27, 2008

Perhaps the best feature is MetaTalk, where questions put to the community are thrown back in the asker's face with snark that could melt your face off. Make it a point to browse the site for a while and you'll learn something, even if it has to be pounded into your pea brain with a fucking meat tenderizer.
posted to MetaTalk by clearly at 2:33 AM on August 27, 2008

Damn you, flapjax, see what you made me go and do?

Welcome To The Hotel Gonna Scorn Ya

In a dark Metatalk thread, trolls posting for lolz
Complaints 'bout deletions, arguments 'bout the polls
Down below in the textbox, I typed a clever insight
My mouse grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
cortex deleted my post
I heard jessamyn yell
And I... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:41 AM on August 20, 2008

Pretty Generic would like his balls wiped, if anyone else on #tapes could be so obliged
posted to MetaTalk by mathowie at 8:55 PM on December 5, 2005

Karadžić is responsible for so much of what happened to me.

My family and I were starved and cut off from electricity, gas, water, phone service and even things like wood with which we could have kept somewhat warm. My father, a funny, kind and literate man, and my mother, a vivacious woman who struggled during Communism and the war to see her children survive with the class and dignity of our family intact, were both reduced to shells of their former selves because... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Dee Xtrovert at 3:45 PM on July 21, 2008

My answer deleted. Please explain why.

You need to use complete sentences. "My answer deleted" isn't one, and "please explain why" is barely a fragment, and "new man" is such a throwaway answer that you're actually here debating why it got deleted?

Typing like this makes you sound like an idiot. No, I'm not calling you an idiot. It just makes you sound like an idiot, like you're the head idiot... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by loquacious at 1:57 PM on July 17, 2008

It's a lot easier to see growth and change when what you're talking about is a kid or an automobile and a little different when what you're talking about is a website. I agree pretty much with what cortex says. MeFi used to be different becase the web was different and I get a little ootchy when I hear people using descriptors and phrases from a long time ago as a bludgeon against what the site is now.

I came here originally in aught-aught because it was a place to come... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by jessamyn at 8:07 AM on July 11, 2008

This is disgusting. I am ashamed for loquacious and I apologize on his behalf (as he often does for the rest of us). He clearly should have used the phrase "so deep and far inside your poophole that you'll choke on it, causing you to tear yourself a new poophole, which you can then crawl up and die."

I'm sorry.
posted to MetaTalk by Krrrlson at 5:10 PM on July 11, 2008

I think that it's important that people defend their right to look at naked boobs on Metafilter as vigorously as possible, and don't shy away from telling anyone who thinks differently to get the fuck off the site - because, really, if you can't look at titties here, where can you go? Inch by inch, centimeter by centimeter, cup size by cup size, the breasts are being taken away from you. Your breastes! They tell you that you cannot haz!!!! At this rate, one day you will wake up and all the... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by taz at 1:48 AM on July 11, 2008

The "u" in "favourite"?
posted to MetaTalk by turgid dahlia at 10:24 PM on July 9, 2008

Look I'm not saying old Joe was right to shot those guys, and shooting someone in the back is dirty pool.

I would shoot somebody in the back if they were running to retrieve a weapon to come back and kill me. Or if the were running toward my wife and I was behind them.


And it has nothing to do with private property, it has to do with personal space and not fucking with a person's home,... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by tkchrist at 5:30 PM on June 30, 2008

So what is this anyway? A map of the night sky? Try going outside at night at looking up. That's so open-source it doesn't even require Ubuntu.

If this keeps up we're not even going to know what all those...funny-coloured things are...in the clear plastic drawers at the bottom of our fridge without an app like Google Vegetables.

Query String: "Green and long."
Response: Your search query "green and long" has... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by turgid dahlia at 3:14 PM on May 13, 2008

I wanted to suggest that Mr CheckOutMyPhatPaycheckzAndBTWDidIMentionMyAwesomeFertilitySpewingPenisYouPeasantsLOL should just move the fuck up the road, commute by train, and stop waving his fucking wallet in my face.

But I refrained.
posted to MetaTalk by genghis at 9:02 PM on May 5, 2008

Awe heck, might as well at least finish up the car story if anyone ever comes back to this thread.

Last time I wrote about Karl's battle-for-the-ages against our town's parking authorities. Taking down the signs was only the first campaign in a very long war.

The town eventually replaced the signs, and parking was once again banned from the street that ran along the side of our high school. Karl, not being a complete idiot, decided an encore... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Civil_Disobedient at 11:37 AM on May 1, 2008

I think that there's an inbuilt desire in humans to make off-colour jokes, and in some situations people get hurt by these jokes. This happens more often in social spaces like this which feel private but which are actually public. If this happens in real life, I tend to shrug it off. My personal feeling is that humour and laughter are tied pretty closely to the fear response, so darker more personal issues shouldn't be taboo.

I'm not sure what to say about it though. On... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by seanyboy at 12:49 AM on April 29, 2008

It's important that we retain the ability to laugh about anything.

It's equally important that we try to have a clue about when to make the funny joke and when not to make the funny joke.
posted to MetaTalk by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:47 AM on April 17, 2008

Wouldn't it be more accurate (at least, mathematically) to increment it in the middle of the year?

Can you please just be happy? This is fine.
posted to MetaTalk by jessamyn at 5:15 AM on April 15, 2008

Decades of internerd experience to the contrary, I still believe that people are truly good at heart.
posted to MetaTalk by jessamyn at 5:26 AM on April 15, 2008

I would like my comments laser-etched on to the face of a diamond, encased in lead, then shot into the depths of space at sufficient velocity to escape the gravitational pull of the sun. I would then like to track the path of said object in real-time, with updates on location and velocity appearing on my user page. Eventually, once the distance from the sun exceeds that of the Voyager and Pioneer probes, I want everyone on earth to use it as a rough measure of interstellar distances. As in:... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by blue_beetle at 9:47 PM on April 14, 2008

Fuck it... I'm drunk enough to take this gambit right now...

So, let's come out with it. I'm the most sympathetic guy you'll ever meet for progressive causes. Hell, I'm left of Trotsky. Whatever. But... there's a poisonous and destructive current to the U.S. left (and maybe other progressive tendancies, worldwide... But I have no experience on that, and won't comment) that has a dogmatic, reactionary rejection of things that (even modestly) run against the current of... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by cadastral at 3:03 AM on April 13, 2008

I'm all about language being bent all to fuck to try and claw that burning god out of the forehead down into the character sequence on the page. Don't mistake me, brother: freestyle the fuck out of it.

But restraint and teeth-gritted order are sometimes the better part of valor. I honestly do believe that the structure and style of the way people express themselves in writing tells me something about the quality of their thinking. I am an elitist fuck in that way. And I... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:54 AM on April 8, 2008

This place is really disgusting sometimes. I'd leave but I don't have anywhere else to go.
posted to MetaTalk by puke & cry at 3:23 PM on April 6, 2008

loiseau, that makes things easier for you, but when I start out a post that way, it means - and would probably be interpreted by a court - that I'm writing a reply, addressing the poster, in my capacity as a doctor. I try not to do that here on MF. I try to act more as a teacher who is conveying general information.

Also, by not doing that, I avoid the whole litany of people who come with "no you're not - prove it - post your home address so I can come when you're... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by ikkyu2 at 12:59 PM on April 3, 2008

I've been outside. It's overrrated.

Traditionally Outside receives extremely high ratings by those who like to see others play it, and these people are in many cases comfortably ensconced Inside themselves. Outside was released many years ago, it was in fact the first massively multiplayer game, and yet it has always managed to avoid the double-edged Retro tag. In its favor, continual user updates have kept Outside current; there are always new things... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by aeschenkarnos at 4:19 PM on March 30, 2008

Re-heated, then.
posted to MetaTalk by cortex at 12:35 PM on March 27, 2008

Now, assuming you read/heard that background material I offered, I'll try to pull some threads together into a nice package:

Some of the forces at play in molding some of the ways in which some Koreans tend to perceive both themselves (that is, their own identities) and others with whom they interact (as well as Korean Identity as a whole) are the concepts of chemyeon (face, sort of), neunchi (sensitivity to social subtext),... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by stavrosthewonderchicken at 11:03 PM on January 2, 2007

why do people post the types of answers that the poster knows the mods will delete

For one thing, there's always the hope that the comment will fly under the radar and stay. But the main reason, or so I'm thinking, is that some people really just cannot control themselves. Even fully well knowing that it's not cool to do, they have thought a think, and they cannot stop themselves from sharing their little think with the rest of us. I see the same... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by iconomy at 10:12 AM on March 19, 2008

I'll stop trotting this out soon, I promise. But first, please allow me to run the gag into the ground. Thanks.

Your post advocates a:
[ ] community moderated
[X] technical
[ ] social
[ ] legislative
[ ] economic
[X] authoritarian
[ ] free-for-all
solution to crappy Ask MetaFilter comments.

I'm afraid it won't work due... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by majick at 12:09 PM on March 19, 2008

This is sad. I'm sorry for you guys, because it seems that at this point right here, it's pretty much fail... and you both appear to be rational, loving and kind people. As it stands, whoever compromises will definitely feel resentful (at the very least), and whoever "wins" will feel guilty. And this seems inevitable as far as I can determine, despite the very best of intentions on both sides.

If I were the female/monogamous party in this... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by taz at 2:20 AM on March 7, 2008

Toad baked some cookies. “These cookies smell very good,” said Toad. He ate one. “And they taste even better,” he said. Toad ran to Frog’s house. “Frog, Frog,” cried Toad, “taste these cookies that I have made.”

Frog ate one of the cookies, “These are the best cookies I have ever eaten!” said Frog.

Frog and Toad ate many cookies, one after another. “You know, Toad,” said Frog, with his mouth full, “I think we should stop eating. We will soon be... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by jessamyn at 5:31 PM on February 1, 2006

Interior: a gentlemen's club. Overstuffed armchairs, snifters of brandy, decanters of port, deferential waiters. Closeup on a genial, plummy-voiced Miguel Cardoso:

"Have you ever thought about the virtues of conversation for its own sake, regardless of how petty practicality might view it? The sheer pleasure of an exchange of ideas, the play of language..."

Cut to an earnest Etherial Bligh, leaning... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by languagehat at 9:15 AM on December 29, 2004

I can answer all of the "should I eat this" questions in one fell swoop:

If you have to ask, it's either not bad or your not hungry enough.


Seriously, eat your germs.

Those of you Howard-Hughes-wannabe germaphobes that take antibiotics like they're Flinstone vitamins, douse everything in antibacterials and subsist on packaged foods are throwing off the bell curve for the rest of us not-yet-plasticized humans.
posted to MetaTalk by loquacious at 7:16 PM on February 26, 2008

You should just call all Texans nazis, and then you could end up on the sidebar.

You know dios, you would be more likable if you were more likeable.
posted to MetaTalk by jessamyn at 5:28 PM on February 26, 2008

Some of my Metafilter bookmarks:
Anglo Women are an endangered species!

Past life as a Samurai.

I am a Mutant with an enlarged brain, and a device implanted into my head but its very sensitive to electromagnetic fields.. please help me avoid them
Phones are bugged
Need Resources on Mind Energy Changing DNA

Bus boyfriends
No longer rockin' the... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by meehawl at 12:45 PM on February 17, 2008

The thread about the Bali bombing, in which I discovered that my friend Rick had been (it turned out, fatally) injured, and the thread posted after he died changed a lot of my thinking about community on the web (for the better), and made it certain that much as I get frustrated sometimes, I don't think I'll ever want to leave Metafilter. The site itself and a lot of people here are very close to my heart.... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:27 PM on February 17, 2008

This is not just a minor lapse in judgement; this is a consistent pattern of using deceit to promote givewell.net and to detract from Charity Navigator.

Evidently he's very sleep-deprived.

And can I just say: FUCK YOU AND YOUR SLEEP DEPRIVATION EXCUSE, HOLDEN. I'm here at my job editing multiple books on killer deadlines with about 3 hours of sleep under my belt, and if some huge fucking mistake gets... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by scody at 2:51 PM on December 31, 2007

I thought there were a larger proportion of pictures from China than I would have expected, but didn't want to say so for fear of being pigeon-holed as a one-note commenter. Last time I was pigeon-holed, I couldn't sit down for a week.
posted to MetaTalk by Abiezer at 8:58 AM on December 19, 2007

I've lived in Europe since Clinton was in office. I have heard constant high-pitched whining about the US since that time, only difference being that it used to be a sad logically strained mishmash of a laundry list ("I hate hate hate Americans because they are so unhealthy/wish to ban smoking/are prudes/whose movies offer too much cheesecake/think of themselves as the world's policemen/who won't intervene in the world conflicts that I want them to/work so many hours and miss what's good... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Your Time Machine Sucks at 5:03 AM on December 20, 2007

MeFi Open Blimp

Yeah, and the flameouts would be particularly noteworthy.
posted to MetaTalk by davejay at 1:33 PM on December 18, 2007

Let's be responsible here, please.

It's not the lead in your pencil, it's the rubber on the end.
posted to MetaTalk by Sparx at 4:06 PM on December 17, 2007

I once told a Google employee about how many users MeFi has. He paused and then told me that it wasn't very successful

It's been my experience that most people I've spoken to at Google hired post-2004 have no real idea why it is so popular, or what being popular means, or how to get it, keep it, maintain it, or lose it. For them it's like fish implicitly expecting the ocean to always remain wet - they just don't have to spend that much effort... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by meehawl at 7:50 PM on December 11, 2007

I'm going to spare you my own tale, and just be blunt:

Ya know what? It's time for you to quit being such a goddamned mealy-mouthed coward.

You either quit for your girlfriend, or you suck it up, let her go, and drink yourself to a slow death. Personally, I don't care what you choose, and I've known people who have come down on both sides of that fence -- but I'm awfully damn tired of hearing fence-sitters whine about how it isn't fair that they... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by fandango_matt at 7:33 PM on December 3, 2007

I wouldn't trust any of you bastards to catch a cold, let alone my chubby ass.
posted to MetaTalk by LeeJay at 6:56 AM on November 27, 2007

MeFi is mathowie
MeTa is cortex
AskMe is jessamyn
posted to MetaTalk by found missing at 8:01 PM on November 7, 2007

Mefi is the what.
Askme is the how.
Meta is the why, you fuckers, why.
posted to MetaTalk by cortex at 9:27 PM on November 7, 2007

Which came first, the chicken or me cracking your skull with a brick and feasting on the delicious goo inside?
posted to MetaTalk by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:32 PM on November 1, 2007

It's more of rhomboid jerk, I'd say. Like a circle jerk, only edgier.
posted to MetaTalk by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:35 PM on October 12, 2007

Hey, as always, there's USians and THEMians, right?
posted to MetaTalk by flapjax at midnite at 3:49 AM on September 29, 2007

In a long term relationship, I think of there being at least five legs to the table:

safety: financial and physical, can you meet your needs together, are you healthy for each other?

sexual: well, you know what that is.

friendship: do you entertain and interest each other when you are not having sex?

social: do you make a unit that reinforces your standing in the context of work, family, friends?... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by StickyCarpet at 4:47 PM on June 13, 2007

Insert > Symbol...
Special Characters
Character: No-Width Optional Break
Insert
posted to Ask Metafilter by grouse at 5:32 PM on August 8, 2007 marked best answer