I've struggled with a couple of the hindrances you are encountering so I'll share my experience.

Initially, I took a step back and looked at my everyday choices and asked myself why do I want to meditate? What qualities am I trying to invite in my life? My answer is deep peace, joy, compassion and love.

Then I looked at the conflicts. Sleep deprivation. Habitual distraction (had I been a kid, I'd be getting the ritalin treatment). Intense and... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by andreinla at 3:55 PM on October 3, 2008 marked best answer

Well, some Australians are adventurous and are willing to try new and exciting foods like spaghetti, and some aren't and only like meatpies with mushy peas, vegemite and beer. To make him feel really comfortable, trying barbecuing up some kangaroo.
posted to Ask Metafilter by b33j at 3:59 PM on September 30, 2008

We eat food, generally; much of Australia (especially the cities) has a strongly Asian-influenced cuisine, and many people are quite used to Thai/Vietnamese food; but we also have a lot of Mediterranean-influenced cooking, so Italian/Greek/Lebanese-based dishes are very common. We have a great love for seafood (we're surrounded by the stuff, after all).

We *cannot* get decent Mexican food, though! It just doesn't exist. The thing I miss most about not being in the Bay... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by 5MeoCMP at 4:56 PM on September 30, 2008 marked best answer

All children must read Le Petit Prince (translated into their language of course). MUST. Lots of other greats in there as well. I'm sure someone will be along shortly to pooh-pooh this essay (maybe even to pooh-pooh Pooh), but I liked it.

The big kids' reading boom of the 90s and Naughts ended up being things like Harry Potter, which for all its plotting intricacies is still just a fairly basic adventure story. What do the Harry Potter books say?... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by JHarris at 1:57 PM on September 25, 2008

Although my love of reading is strong, I think its disingenuous to disregard the role of TV in this magical age.

I was thinking the same thing about music videos. Growing up, my parents didn't allow television in the house, but one of my friends had MTV and it strongly shaped the person that I eventually became.

The most important video in shaping me was without any doubt Mix-a-Lot's Baby Got Back, which more... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Parasite Unseen at 2:22 PM on September 25, 2008

I agree with the above, except I don't think you're obligated to finish your joint art project. If it's a school thing, and not a personal thing, talk to your professor. Explain that the situation makes you uncomfortable and that you need to find another partner.

The possibilities, as I see them:

1) He left it for you to see, as Listener says. (Not necessarily voting for this one, but it is possible. I know if I were discussing someone I liked in... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mudpuppie at 5:58 PM on September 25, 2008

Some people can't stand to admit even to themselves that they've been rejected, so they try to come up with a bullshit version of what's happened that is more palatable. Sometimes they settle for just trying to get others to believe the bullshit version, sometimes they actually believe their own bullshit. But you know what happened, and congratulations on having the good judgment to reject this guy even before this particularly egregious proof that he's not worth your time. He's an asshole, and... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by orange swan at 6:12 PM on September 25, 2008

Cold-weather penis shrinkage has, as far as I'm aware, never been linked to irritability, whereas seasonal affective disorder has. Or maybe the reduced levels of vitamin D in winter are affecting your mood and you could try taking a supplement? These would probably be the things to address before jumping to conclusions about your penis's winter form.
posted to Ask Metafilter by xchmp at 10:03 PM on September 24, 2008

any asshole can jump out of a plane or get into a fight; we'd all do it if our lives depended on it.

mentoring underprivileged kids, volunteering at a hospice—these kinds of things, that take real emotional tolls and that you're not going to brag about at a bar over some beers with your brahs, these are the kinds of things that really speak volumes about your inner strength. macho bullshit is exactly that: bullshit.
posted to Ask Metafilter by lia at 9:50 AM on September 24, 2008

You're getting three different answers here and above, because it 's being interpreted as three separate questions.

If it's about Thrill Seeking: I was a poor college student when I first went through this phase. I slaked my thirst for adrenalin by doing Urban Exploration, from crawling around in steam tunnels to climbing radio towers, but that ended with my first Criminal Trespassing charge. Too expensive! I graduated into rock climbing, adventure sports, and travel. Of... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by zueod at 10:44 AM on September 24, 2008 marked best answer

I'm reading all of these soft "go volunteer in an inner city" responses, and, honestly, at first blush, I'm thinking "oh come on folks just answer the man's question."

And then, on the other hand, I'm a different guy than I was a year and a half ago. Completely different.

About that long ago, I packed up my comfortable life into a 10x10 storage unit (I've eliminated some of it since, but I'm still amazed at how much crap I... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by allkindsoftime at 10:45 AM on September 24, 2008 marked best answer

Christ was the ultimate tolerant liberal. And, some would say, an evangelist to boot.

So yes, it's totally possible, provided that you believe those whole "love one another" and "don't condemn one another" parts of Jesus's teachings, and choose to ignore the blowhard evangelists of the modern day whose priorities, despite what they tell you, really have nothing to do with replicating Christ's message.

When people criticize... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mudpuppie at 3:08 PM on September 24, 2008

The moment you start to resent a person, you become his slave. He controls your dreams, absorbs your digestion, robs you of your peace of mind and goodwill, and takes away the pleasure of your work. You cannot take a vacation without his going along. He destroys your freedom of mind and hounds you wherever you go. There is no way to escape the person you resent. He is with you when you are awake. He invades your privacy when you sleep. He is close beside you when you drive your car and when you... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by netbros at 8:05 AM on September 22, 2008

Go with the guy who never said he didn't want you.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ewkpates at 11:06 AM on September 22, 2008

Been there. Married that, because I couldn't face the prospect of breaking up, because at that point the dysfunctional relationship had pushed everything else out of my life and breaking up seemed impossible. So I witnessed the suicide attempts. Watched the near-death experience and its aftermath. Visited her in intensive care. Finally she did start taking better care of herself, at which point she decided she didn't need me anymore, and left. Two weeks after the divorce she called me in... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by jon1270 at 1:51 AM on September 22, 2008

I have to point something out. The guy failed to call you one night when you apparently were expecting a call. You responded by: calling "all night," texting him, calling the hotel front desk, and calling his daytime work site. The fact that you did all this (and had all that information) suggests that you already didn't trust him.

This doesn't in any way excuse his dishonesty, but it might be helpful to consider why you had such a strong reaction to his... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by PatoPata at 12:31 PM on September 18, 2008

A couple of thoughts:

I spent the past half-week at a convention with a ton of out-of-towners, and the partying and staying out late and crashing in random places was standard, so that much of it sounds perfectly logical - sleeping around was purely optional, although some people certainly seemed to be taking that option.

If I knew I had fun plans with people I don't see very often and my gf was prone to calling seventeen times a night to check... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by restless_nomad at 12:51 PM on September 18, 2008

I told you the wrong hotel precisely so this type of communication would not occur.

Makes no sense. If he believed it inevitable that you would call, telling you the wrong hotel is the worst way to avoid "this type of communication" - it guaranteed that you wouldn't get through, thus gauranteeing your eventual justifiable anger when you finally discovered he slept somewhere else. IF he were cheating, the really slick behavior would just be... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Miko at 1:21 PM on September 18, 2008

Obviously, the reason I don't like him out boozing all night is because I think it's an inappropriate scenario especially every freaking Wednesday night that he's in this particular city (where his company is HQ'd). So, even if he wasn't cheating, I just think enough is enough. You want to go out drinking with your buddies? Knock yourself out. But there's no need to be out all night long or even past 2 a.m.. Especially on a week night. But apparently this is so important to him that he... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by desjardins at 12:55 PM on September 18, 2008

I sent him an email this morning saying that I will not take his calls, I will delete all txt, emails and voice mails without reviewing them unless it says "I'm in town at airport" in the subject line. I said that if he ever wants to speak to me again, he'll leave for my town immediately because in the wake of these lies it's the only way I can be confident that I am his priority and confident about where he is and who he is with.

You know,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Miko at 2:10 PM on September 19, 2008

At this point I've stopped being angry, and I feel kind of sorry for her because it seems to me like her jealous ex kind of manipulated her feelings after he saw her with me, and basically sabotaged the relationship. I know she bears some responsibility, but given that kind of history, I can see how that might happen.

This is your problem. She's not a victim of a manipulative ex - she's a person who, after dating you for a couple of months,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by moxiedoll at 7:03 PM on September 17, 2008

I spent a lot of time when I was younger trying to "win back" girls who broke up with me.

The long-term success rate of that has been 0%. I've found that, when someone breaks up with you, they usually really mean it deep down, even if they are conflicted about it, or insecure (will run back to you when their new flame burns out), or whatever. This all came to a boiling point with one ex in particular. I spent well over a year DYING to be back with her, trying... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by autojack at 7:12 PM on September 17, 2008

At this point I've stopped being angry, and I feel kind of sorry for her because it seems to me like her jealous ex kind of manipulated her feelings after he saw her with me, and basically sabotaged the relationship.

Go back to being angry, or at least disapproving of the way she treated you. She's a big girl, and she sabotaged the relationship.

Go find someone who knows what she wants (namely, you) and does what she has to do to be with you.
posted to Ask Metafilter by orange swan at 7:07 PM on September 17, 2008

pile-on says no.
posted to Ask Metafilter by jacalata at 7:35 PM on September 17, 2008

also missing: OM NOM NOM NOM
posted to MetaFilter by grippycat at 9:56 PM on September 5, 2008

Is there a difference between "discover your passion" and "discover what you want to do"?

I ask because I hear people talk about their Passion (with a capital P), as if everyone has one whether they know it or not. As it it's a special glowing ball inside each of us. Yet I see no evidence that this ball necessarily exists.

To me, it's more likely that we have things we like and things we dislike. A like becomes a passion when... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 12:22 PM on September 4, 2008

Personally I find that sondrialiac's approach doesn't work for me. If I've got several prospects to be excited about, I don't get really excited about any of them because I'm always wondering what might happen with the others. I mean, I get that you're trying not to be too excited, so maybe that approach would be effective, but the problem is that it can keep you (well, me, anyway) from ever really liking anyone enough to start a serious relationship with them.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by vytae at 12:56 PM on September 5, 2008

I had a bad diet and no exercise for a long time and had the extra 30 lbs to show for it. My ex-boyfriend tried to get me to exercise etc. and I resented the hell out of him for it. Now I with a man who loves me at my current weight (I've lost the 30 lbs) and loved me when I was 30 lbs heavier. I lost weight when I was ready to lose weight and change; no one could have convinced me to make that kind of commitment for them.

You can't change your girlfriend and she'll... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by bananafish at 12:21 PM on September 5, 2008

I certainly am not a shining example of a healthy lifestyle, but I'm conscious of it and intend to eat kind of well and be active as I grow up. I don't want a running partner for life, but I want someone I can hike around a national park with or walk around an unfamiliar city all day with.

Then grow up. Talk about recipes you're trying out, how great exercise is making you feel, and if you want to hike around a national park or walk around a city,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mikeh at 12:16 PM on September 5, 2008

xammerboy wrote: "I'm nervous about committing myself to a lifelong relationship with someone who is not serious about taking care of herself."

Say this - there's nothing wrong with that.

Unless he's not taking care of his health himself, but thinks it doesn't matter because he's what he defines as "thin" or "healthy weight."

In Slow Fat Triathlete, Jayne... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Sidhedevil at 12:52 PM on September 5, 2008

A year and a half ago, I was the unhealthy girlfriend. Today I'm 80 pounds lighter, run 14 miles a week, and eat a lot less junk. My blood pressure and cholesterol levels were "hey, you might die" back then, and today they're at optimal levels. I even have some visible muscles.

To get from then to now took a massive amount of time, patience, frustration, and tears, but I got there. I don't think I could have done it if I didn't want to do it, but I owe a... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Metroid Baby at 1:21 PM on September 5, 2008

I don't think there are any set topics of conversation which make women think "Hmm, I'll be friends with this guy but not sleep with him."

Revealing that you believe in the Ladder Theory, or any other weird how-to-get-laid pseudopsychology, might make women think "Hmm, I don't want to be friends with this guy or sleep with him."
posted to Ask Metafilter by Metroid Baby at 8:22 AM on September 5, 2008

The Ladder Theory is complete bunk.

I can't think of any general topic of conversation that would make me permanently uninterested in someone. The deciding factor is what you say in that conversation.

We can talk about abortion, but if you think it's a mortal sin I'm probably not going to sleep with you.
We can talk about personal hygiene, but if you confess yours is horrendous, I'm probably not going to sleep with you.
We... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by hippugeek at 8:29 AM on September 5, 2008

Not all of these movies are masterpieces, but then not all written fiction is a masterpiece either. What they all do, however, is integrate the science fictional aspects with the rest of the movie (unlike, to take one recent example, Wanted, where the science fictional aspects are really only there to make the fights look cooler). Or at least there are analogues to written science fiction for the films below.

Galaxy Quest: It's not really good science (although it's... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by EatenByAGrue at 3:27 AM on August 31, 2008

Jesus Christ, it's not a prison sentence people are looking at. So they get thrown out of a comics convention. So what? Give them their admission fee back. How about this: Instead of saying "If women don't like it, they shouldn't go," we instead say "If men are really SUPER-OPPOSED to a no-harrassment policy because they have a paranoid sense that they may be unjustly thrown out, they don't go."

It's not a huge price to pay to make people feel safe.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 12:45 PM on August 26, 2008

To the "booth babes" who got harassed: Don't dress like a stripper in a room full horny nerds. I can't believe somebody has to say that.

This is the year 2008, not 1948. I can't believe somebody has to say that.
posted to MetaFilter by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:00 PM on August 26, 2008

To be clearer, it seems to me that chudmonkey is sayign that there is no place at all in the world for a woman to go and be safe, except, perhaps, at home with friends. And if they choose to exit that environment dressed in a way that a creep finds suggestive, well, that's just the way of the world.

Maybe. But how does a woman know when she is dressed modestly enough to never invite the attention of a creep? When she has a burkha on? And shouldn't it be possible to... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 1:05 PM on August 26, 2008

When you deliberately act in a provocative manner around a bunch of strangers

Who judges what "provocative" is? I've been catcalled and whistled at and had my ass grabbed on crowded buses when I'm wearing oh-so-provocative clothing like baggy sweatpants and a ratty sweater (early morning we've-got-no-milk-for-coffee run) or khakis and a button-down (going to/from work).

Apparently, the provocative act is... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by rtha at 1:25 PM on August 26, 2008

"False reports of rape, a much more serious issue, run 2-50%."

Sweet Jesus, what a misleading statement. It should read: In reports from local police departments that are forwarded on to the FBI, the FBI has determined that roughly 8% of accusations are unfounded, intentionally or accidentally. Journalists have given, and no citation is given for these "journalists," or articles, which may well be opinion or anecdotal pieces,... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by klangklangston at 1:57 PM on August 26, 2008

He's a boy so sex should generally be an inevitability if you are around him long enough.

Please don't gender stereotype. This one is old, tired and lame. Not all men are hounding for sex 24/7 and the idea that sex is something women should be able to have from any party merely for the asking isn't particularly productive either.

No reason to just give it away, make him earn it, which he will likely do if he tried... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DarlingBri at 7:48 PM on August 25, 2008

Temporary autism is but one small step away from a range of recreational diseases for fun and profit.

"I was planning a trip to India, and really wanted the full native experience. And the money I made begging meant that my temporary leprosy totally paid for itself."
--Johnny, 34, Sacramento.

"I never would have got the lead role in the South Philly Dramatics Society production of Rent without some serious method acting.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 3:01 AM on August 19, 2008

I wasn't under the impression you got to pick where your fantastic mental focus went, when you were autistic (unless you were 'highly functional', and even then, this was part of why it's a handicap not a super power), so if this were plausible wouldn't you spend a week screaming at loud noises and quietly being fascinated by the texture of the carpet?

I mean, just observing the Aspie traits of my family (I have an official mental health diagnosis, as do my half siblings)... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Phalene at 5:07 AM on August 19, 2008

Oy. I agree with InspectorGadget.

A few other things:

- If you're gonna hit on your friend's GF ( which: don't, just don't), you have to be prepared for rejection.
- Maybe it's just me, but you seem to have sort of an old-fashioned perspective on women, wondering why Martha is getting dressed up when her fellow is out of town, referring to her "slutty" dress, etc. If you really want to be friends with women, you might want to adjust that perspective.
posted to Ask Metafilter by lunasol at 5:53 PM on August 18, 2008

Or seen from a very different perspective than the previous posters:

Doesn’t that sound like a ‘date’ scenario to anybody besides me?

No, absolutely not.

Martha sent me a text message asking if I wanted to watch a movie over at her place. This is also something that had never happened previously, let alone when Tom was around.

Yeah, because dude, her... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DarlingBri at 5:54 PM on August 18, 2008 marked best answer

Did he really just stop by for a quickie, or is there some other interpretation?

Impossible to say with any certainty, as none of us (presumably) are Boy.

Am I being a pathetic neurotic girl if I keep trying to contact him at this point?

I wouldn't call you pathetic or neurotic, and I think you might want to stop calling yourself names as well. As a former 24-year-old female... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by scody at 8:15 PM on August 11, 2008 marked best answer

If these conservative fruitcakes had their way, masturbation would be made illegal, because semen ejaculated without an egg in the vicinity is the death of potential life.

No, they won't go that far, because it's not really about life, at least not most of the time.

I've said this before, but I'll rehash: when you ask if there should be exceptions to the no-abortions rule for rape and incest, virtually every... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Malor at 2:15 AM on August 10, 2008

Give up.

By this, I don't mean drop out of life or however you may interpret that statement. I mean give up the struggle. Stop and look directly at your anger, your fear, your anxiety and see them for what they are - feelings with no inherent power of their own. You do not have to give into them. By trying to push these things out of your mind, they just gain more prominence. Look directly at the feelings. Not why you're afraid or angry or anxious,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by triggerfinger at 1:06 PM on August 8, 2008

Sadly, the only one who knows what's really going on in your guy's head is him. All that the men of metafilter can do is guess - and you'll get any number of competing ideas.

In the end, none of that matters. He broke up with you, for reasons even he may not be able to articulate to himself yet, he's not willing to reconsider, and you want to know how to go forward.

My advice is this.

First, stop being his friend. Be... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by canine epigram at 9:23 AM on August 5, 2008 marked best answer

He emails me a dozen times a day. If I'm late to reply he sends "where are you? are you okay? messages."

Oh helllllll no. He broke up with you, he doesn't now get to dictate when you two speak. Now that you've broken up, you need to not talk to each other so you can both move on. For your sake and his, cut the cord- let him know that you'll be "needing some space" from speaking to him, and you'll be in touch when you feel like... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:41 AM on August 5, 2008

Carbohydrates are not the enemy.

I eat less far carbs than most people. However, I don't eschew carbs entirely because I'm marathon/half marathon runner and I need some carbs to function. If you're planning to do a few hours of hiking, you need carbs, protein and fat to fuel the muscles. That's not to say you need to eat piles of pasta, but some nice brown rice or whole grain oatmeal is going to give you some slow burning fuel. If you deprive your body of carbs (or... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by 26.2 at 12:38 AM on July 29, 2008 marked best answer