MeFi post: If the Bar can get any lower...

From a MetaFilter Member Profile: "In every grade school there is a kid that it is fashionable to hate, to bully, to beat up, to criticize. The cool kids do it, and the uncool kids do it to try to impress the cool kids. He is the bottom of the pecking order, the one everyone else looks down on, so that they can feel superior. He is the Class Goat"Sami al-Haj. Fixed that for you.

Then there's the kid who is the top hater, the biggest bully, the one who beats up... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by wendell at 6:48 PM on September 27, 2008

Ask post: Freeloader or soft partner?

The moment you start to resent a person, you become his slave. He controls your dreams, absorbs your digestion, robs you of your peace of mind and goodwill, and takes away the pleasure of your work. You cannot take a vacation without his going along. He destroys your freedom of mind and hounds you wherever you go. There is no way to escape the person you resent. He is with you when you are awake. He invades your privacy when you sleep. He is close beside you when you drive your car and when you... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by netbros at 8:05 AM on September 22, 2008

MeTa post: Nicely done moderation on the Russian sexual harassment post.

>>You can trust your readers to know that terrible is terrible

I used to think that. But I've seen enough "jokes" about horrific things like rape, even on "enlightened" MeFi, to alter that mindset. And of course, the backlash, ranging from "lighten up, Francis" to "LOLZ, sort out your own personal problems" when I've dared to suggest that there's nothing funny about such stuff.

I'm not sure if... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by SaintCynr at 1:08 PM on August 11, 2008

MeTa post: Misandry and Ask Metafilter.

(British slang, not misogyny)

Yeah, please don't.
posted to MetaTalk by cortex at 8:15 AM on August 6, 2008

I just wanted to say a few things.

1. I am actually kind of upset by how many stupid jokes are in here. I've been hurt by these same sort of dismissive jokes when they are let loose in past sexism threads here, and exactly these sorts of jokes and attitudes have caused female members of the site to leave before (e.g., Danila). In a way I actually think the behavior in this thread has been sexist, because the attitude here seems to be "man up,... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by onlyconnect at 9:06 AM on August 6, 2008

I know this mindset very well. This is the mindset of the 30 or so men who write into my company, every week, and state that "Every article/question/statement is a bunch of man-hating bullshit! You probably didn't even go to college! Fuck you, I hope you die in a fire!" etc.

So if we happen to run an article called, for example, "Is your date lying?" and use even ONE man's name or an example of a woman catching a man in a lie, we are a bunch of... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Unicorn on the cob at 10:58 AM on August 6, 2008

Women aren't exempt from practicing sexism; people who have been oppressed aren't exempt from oppressing others. We see it all the time, historically. So it never hurts to check ourselves often, whoever we are, whatever our experience has been.

I have to admit that I have an tendency to roll my eyes when guys complain about inequality issues... Yet, when we were the U.S., I feared for my husband around kids, because the affection and attention shown to children by adults,... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by taz at 7:25 AM on August 7, 2008

Ask post: Please help me make some sense of our relationship

Okay. This post is really, really difficult to read, due to the lack of paragraphs. I'm going to try to break it out a little so that we can maybe get a handle on what your issue is.

You and Mr. Fog, who has an 8-year-old child from a previous marriage, have been together for three years.
He has custody of the kid this summer and it's been a strain on your relationship. You say you love the kid, but find his behavior offputting. I don't know what Mr. Fog... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by fairytale of los angeles at 1:02 PM on July 22, 2008

MeTa post: monkey king

MetaFilter would be a much more civilized place if the only body parts we referred to in the course of an argument were:
Spleen
Pancreas
Uvula
Philtrum
Ligaments
Cartilage
Gallbladder
Appendix
Adenoids
Clavicle
Elbow
Medulla
and, of course,
Cortex.

Just a suggestion.
posted to MetaTalk by wendell at 6:31 PM on July 11, 2008

MeTa post: "Wow, look at the Boobies!"

This post did offend me today. I saw it and the gleeful comments of men (and women, but mostly men) gawking at women's parts, and I just thought, do we really need to do this here? I commented and I flagged, but didn't go any further.

It is hard for me to explain my offense, because this sort of behavior is so accepted on places where geeks go on the internet. We associate male geeks and the Internet with some amount of female nudity. That's how our culture is now.... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by onlyconnect at 1:59 PM on July 10, 2008

In a way, this reminds me of the AskMe thread of the guy asking if he should tell his girlfriend that he eats his boogers. And almost everyone was like, "absolutely not!" Because you don't want her to associate that with you, because it's the kind of habit that will concentrate her attention and make it hard for her to focus on his many other no doubt fine attributes.

I come to Metafilter to talk about books or strange natural phenomena or weird animals or... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by onlyconnect at 4:04 PM on July 10, 2008

MeTa post: I c*nt stop saying twat.

I'd rather that beer made me thinner and pot made me more ambitious.

It doesn't?

Cunt/twat/etc aren't words that bother me, but knowing that they sometimes bother other people is enough to make me selective in my use of them. Words can be given a lot of power and meaning by people, and you don't have to agree with those people or be a self-censorist to take those meanings into account when you talk and write.... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Forktine at 7:10 PM on July 9, 2008

I'd much rather see "nasty words" than see nasty words being policed, or people self-censoring.

Huh? Those two things are not equivalents. Noone is advocating there be proscription on language by edict. But don't you self censor every time you open your mouth or compose a comment?? You don't call your boss "you old cunt" just because you're thinking it. I think the phrase is 'a bit of decorum'.
posted to MetaTalk by peacay at 7:06 PM on July 9, 2008

MeFi post: Michael Bhatia Died in Afghanistan on May 8, 2008

.

Wow, ZachsMind, you sure are a righteous dude. But since you knew in advance pretty much everyone here agrees with you—war is bad, soldiers are dying pointlessly, etc. etc.—your "We can still tell ourselves we're winning. Insert celebratory hooting and hollering here" is pure posturing, and you are not doing anything but trolling for favorites. Enjoy them.
posted to MetaFilter by languagehat at 9:11 AM on May 10, 2008

MeTa post: Discussion Point

From Kate Harding:

You, dear male reader, are totally not one of those men. I know this, and I appreciate it. I really do. But here’s where all this victimy girl shit concerns you:

* every time you don’t tell your buddies it’s not okay to talk shit about women, even if it’s kinda funny;
* every time you roll your eyes and think “PMS!” instead of listening to why a woman’s... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by occhiblu at 4:11 PM on November 16, 2007

...a unique departure from my normal behavior.

Hardly. For instance, there was this bon mot you deployed when Paris Hilton went to the pokey. I have never forgotten it. It is thoroughly brutal. And that it came from you, with your stated commitment to gender equality -- well, that just made it all the more awful.

Here is what you need to understand. It does not matter, one iota, whether you think a woman is exceptional,... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by melissa may at 6:17 PM on November 17, 2007

Dreamsign: That list was 25% on the money and 75% ridiculous, sorry, mostly for the reasons that tkchrist pointed out, but also because you can't be responsible for "engendering hatred" in the freaking loons of society because you don't call people out, in every conversation, for being people. (yes, boys talk shit and so do girls -- make sure you shut that down at every opportunity and report back)

I would disagree. If I hear someone make... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by madamjujujive at 9:23 AM on November 17, 2007

Sometimes the benefits of expressing our frustrations in a public forum have to be weighed against preserving a safe and welcoming space for women to participate as well.

Women are part of this community, not extra participants. Saying it's sometimes okay to create spaces that are hostile to them in the interests of the benefits of expressing your frustrations is sort of exactly the point as I see it. It's basically an open question: is it more... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by jessamyn at 1:47 PM on November 19, 2007

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