No. You're not only not going to do that viral astroturfing shit here, I forbid you from doing it anywhere. This is now the seventh time (I've been keeping track) that I've heard the republican spin that the housing crisis is caused by Hispanics/black/minorities/poor. A memo must have gone out the night Paulson proposed the plan because jowly white douchebags from all over are all simultaneously on board with the same talking points.

Let me be perfectly clear. It is... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Pastabagel at 8:39 AM on September 30, 2008

I'm gonna sing the doom song now!

Doom doom-doom doom doom doom doom-doom-doom doom doom doom-doom doom-doom-doom doom doom doom-doom doom doom doom-doom doom-doom-doom doom doom doom-doom doom doom doom-doom doom-doom doom doom doom doom-doom-doom doom doom doom-doom doom-doom-doom doom doom doom-doom doom doom doom-doom doom-doom-doom doom doom doom-doom doom doom doom-doom doom doom-doom-doom doom doom doom-doom doom-doom-doom doom doom doom-doom doom doom doom-doom... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by loquacious at 11:53 PM on September 25, 2008

I wouldn't criticize it as a piece of writing, i'd criticize it as a self-aggrandizing exercise in narcissistic spiritualism.
posted to MetaFilter by storybored at 6:59 PM on September 28, 2008

Here's the cab ride I'll never forget: my friends and I hailed down a cab, I slid in first, and my friends followed. "Meatpacking District, 14th and 9th!" And off we went. Mere seconds into the ride, a pungent odor began to take hold. In unison, we all stared at each other in disgust and looked around for the source. And there it was: a fresh coat of vomit on the seat I was occupying. We yelled at the cab driver to pull over, cussed him out for not saying... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Christ, what an asshole at 7:36 PM on September 28, 2008

Anyway, how could you stop with "I have read the complete question and this is an honest attempt at being helpful?" You could add "I will not financially benefit from posting this comment. My comment includes no sexist, racist, or otherwise offensive language. My legal and medical qualifications, or lack thereof, have been appropriately noted. I expressly acknowledge and state that mileages between multiple persons' experiences can and do vary. I have refrained from using outdated... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by salvia at 10:35 PM on September 27, 2008

If I were a rich person, I would set up a foundation to education the public on the nature of counterfactual conditionals and how to posit them grammatically.
posted to MetaFilter by DU at 5:05 AM on September 23, 2008

You guys have to post after midnight. All the discussions are in Australian, which I managed to pick up a little of when I was a boy, thanks to an Australia friend I met in Bath, England, who taught me a few basic phrases. I also bought an English-Australian dictionary in high school and learned a bit of the basic syntax, so I am able to follow the conversations slightly, and also throw in a small (and I'm sure horribly ungrammatical) comment here and there.

Sometimes... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Astro Zombie at 12:28 PM on September 23, 2008

I think we've always been free to ignore anyone we choose.

Or are we?!?
posted to MetaTalk by Alvy Ampersand at 12:04 AM on September 23, 2008

I'M IN UR METATOK, SHOWING MAISELF TO B CHRONICLY OUT OF TOUCH WITH INTERNET TRENDZ.
posted to MetaTalk by fire&wings at 2:29 PM on September 19, 2008

This reminds me of the day I upgraded from a manual typewriter to my first computer. I was using Word Perfect 5.1 for DOS and when I got to the end of the first line, I went to hit the carriage return and knocked the monitor onto the floor.
posted to MetaTalk by turgid dahlia at 3:04 PM on September 21, 2008

I have always wanted to correctly answer an AskMe question thusly:

POKE IT WITH A POINTY STICK

Now I can die happily.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 9:56 AM on September 18, 2008

One of my sisters suffers from paranoid schizophrenia. And that sentence is true -- she does suffer from it. And so did each and every one of us siblings, and my parents, and anyone else whose life touched hers.

And for so many years we were in denial, we just saw her as an asshole, a rude and crude jerk, unbelievably intertwined with my parents, psychologically, financially, in just about every way, really. She also has epilepsy, and has suffered from seizures,... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by dancestoblue at 10:15 PM on September 11, 2008

This post tastes of Sauvignon bleu.
posted to MetaFilter by slater at 1:03 AM on September 18, 2008

But my relationship question is unique. No FAQ could ever understand our love.
posted to MetaTalk by mandymanwasregistered at 7:22 PM on September 17, 2008

Q: Have you tried winning over the object of your affection with DELICIOUS BACON?

If "NO," please try DELICIOUS BACON first before posting your question to AskMe.

If "YES," then he/she is obviously immune to DELICIOUS BACON'S charms. You should feel free to DTMFA.
posted to MetaTalk by scody at 7:31 PM on September 17, 2008

What a coincidence! I've been working on a website called ConfirmationBiasBuddy, which allows you to blame anyone's bad behavior on some cockamamie reason that sounds just plausible enough to allow the user to feel smugly superior.
posted to MetaFilter by Miko at 7:50 PM on September 17, 2008

For my fellow English majors and other artsy types who might want to do some reading on how this whole mess came about, let me recommend THE ECONOMIC MELTDOWN, AS SEEN IN REAL-TIME THROUGH METAFILTER POSTS:

(The following list is woefully incomplete; please feel free to add your faves from the past year or so.)

July, 2007:
"A world of Casey Serins" - MeFi takes a look at the world of sub-prime mortgages and... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Asparagirl at 11:03 PM on September 14, 2008

The Chaos (by G. Nolst Trenité, a.k.a. "Charivarius"; 1870 - 1946)

Dearest creature in creation
Studying English pronunciation,

I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse

I will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.

Tear in eye your dress you'll tear,
So shall I! Oh, hear my prayer,... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by exlotuseater at 9:43 PM on September 6, 2008

WHY DO YOU MOCK US?!?!?

* FREE THE IMG TAG *
posted to MetaTalk by blue_beetle at 9:57 AM on September 6, 2008

Abortion is my litmus test, and I'm not ashamed of it.

Isn't that going to rather extreme lengths just to discover the Ph of a substance?
posted to MetaFilter by PeterMcDermott at 4:37 PM on September 4, 2008

Is this something I would have to not have TV to know about?
posted to MetaFilter by horsemuth at 8:59 AM on September 4, 2008

STARBUCKS COFFEE IS BURNT SWILL

Damn, sorry, autoMeFi is stuck
posted to MetaFilter by everichon at 9:07 AM on September 4, 2008

Let me get this straight, this Hitachi Magic Wand ... it vibrates?
posted to MetaTalk by Dave Faris at 10:17 PM on August 29, 2008

We are a niche business that sells only Hitachi Magic Wands and attachments for them.

Peak seasons for us are Christmas & Valentines Day (mostly men buying for their appreciative wives/girlfriends) and the start of school year (mostly women, enjoying their alone time while the kids are off at school).

One change that we've seen in recent months is that sales to Canada have picked up, probably due to the changes in exchange rate.
posted to Ask Metafilter by MagicWandShop at 5:50 AM on September 27, 2007

Damn you, flapjax, see what you made me go and do?

Welcome To The Hotel Gonna Scorn Ya

In a dark Metatalk thread, trolls posting for lolz
Complaints 'bout deletions, arguments 'bout the polls
Down below in the textbox, I typed a clever insight
My mouse grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
cortex deleted my post
I heard jessamyn yell
And I... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:41 AM on August 20, 2008

I'm not sure this is a case of "who's right," really. I suspect that you won't notice the urine smell, but that small quantities of it will be there. But it's not a risk I'd be willing to take with my clothes.

If I were in your shoes and itching for a part-humorous, part-jerk reply, I'd ask if (s)he would mind if you peed in the washing machine after they loaded their clothes, but before the wash was started. After all, "the soap and hot... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by fogster at 7:30 PM on August 14, 2008

HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS
posted to MetaTalk by burnmp3s at 11:27 AM on August 13, 2008

Making paper is a very polluting process, more so than the recycling of paper

Actually, it's the same thing. Paper recycling means breaking existing paper down to pulp form, which then becomes the stock that makes new paper.

By the way, I worked in paper mills for about 15 years and some grades of paper we made had faux dirt added to the pulp, simply to make the recycled paper look more recycled.
posted to Ask Metafilter by davebush at 6:29 PM on August 11, 2008

Yeah, I'm not seeing any site-wide trend towards misandry, I'm seeing a site-wide trend towards there being plenty of MeFites who just want every single person in the world to dump their respective motherfuckers already.
posted to MetaTalk by flashboy at 6:16 AM on August 6, 2008

Am I in the right place?
posted by Anne Coulter's Butt Plug

I don't know if you are in the right place. Where exactly are you right now?
posted to MetaTalk by marxchivist at 6:53 AM on August 6, 2008

None of those reasons had anything to do with dating the unicorn.

Top 10 Reasons it Would Rule to Date a Unicorn:

10) Less small talk
9) You know it's not cheating on you, 'cause all it's friends are virgins
8) Requests to ride bareback not automatically rejected
7) Never have to drive
6) You can always get some tail
5) Can't really judge you on... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:20 PM on August 4, 2008

It's a little hard to find precise amounts. The best I found was this toxicological profile of cyanide (check the middle of page 32).

Black cherry pits contain about 78micrograms per seed. The LD50 for dogs is 5-6mg/kg (see here and here). Assuming your dog weighs 10kg, then that's 641 seeds worth. Note also that that's for seeds, not pits. The dog would have to extract the cyanide from the seed itself, which is inside the hard pit.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by jedicus at 1:16 PM on August 4, 2008 marked best answer

pizza is not a sandwich, soldier. carry on.
posted to Ask Metafilter by sergeant sandwich at 9:22 PM on August 3, 2008

Hipsters are people doing anything more modern and/or trendy than I am. Old farts are people doing anything less modern and/or trendy than I am. The trick is to somehow monitor your lawn for the former while partying on the lawn of the latter.
posted to MetaFilter by DU at 7:05 AM on August 1, 2008

That was back in those quaint times when we followed the Geneva Conventions, and the Nazis didn't, right?
posted to MetaFilter by orthogonality at 1:49 AM on August 1, 2008

I'm not surprised to read this - Rolex is a very unique company in many ways.

Hans Wilsdorf, a German watch maker, founded a predecessor firm in London in the early 1900's. Their business was integrating other peoples watch movements into cases they constructed themselves.

After a few years due to England's high taxes on exports of jewelry, they relocated to Switzerland and setup shop under the name Rolex, which, as far... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Mutant at 2:29 AM on August 1, 2008

I'd like this comment to be "anonymised", because I'm typing it while fucking a goat. Thanks.
posted to MetaTalk by the quidnunc kid at 1:07 PM on July 29, 2008

About a year ago some anonymous asshole flicked a cigarette into my car via my open window. The cigarette landed between my back and the seat. I smelled smoke. My coat was on fire. I mean, yeah it was a really cool coat and was very stylish and hot, but when I say it was on fire I mean the kind of fire with flames. Flames that are hot. I pulled over (really quickly, as you can imagine) and jumped out and the back of my coat was covered with flames and so was the seat. I yanked off my coat and... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by iconomy at 8:36 AM on July 29, 2008

I used to work in a movie theater right down the street from Marilyn Monroe's grave in Westwood, which is tucked into a tiny cemetery surrounded by high-rise buildings, and also contains the graves of Natalie Wood, Truman Capote, and the girl from Poltergeist. People left notes at Miss Monroe's grave all the time, and, I feel guilty about this now, but I would steal them before work and read them when I had a spare moment. I was just unendurably curious about what sort of notes people would... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 7:04 AM on July 27, 2008

After my last devastating breakup, I realized something very clearly: love does not conquer all.

You can love someone, and they can love you, and there can still be no way to go forward together. All the parsing of subtext and all the untwisting and retwisting of narrative threads cannot undo this. Heaven and earth sometimes remain unmoved, no matter how much our hearts wish to move them.

Everything ends. All relationships end, whether by... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by scody at 1:04 PM on July 22, 2008 marked best answer

Put another way, by Chris Morris, "the pursuit of approval usually ends in disaster." You can't avoid succeeding or failing one way or another to be cool or having a good reputation or seeming nice or whatever, but you have to have a higher purpose than what others think. Because not only is what "they" think not terribly important, but it's not even all that tangible of a concept. Most people think very little of other people, in all actuality, which is a liberating thing:... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Sticherbeast at 6:49 PM on July 21, 2008

Sorry to hear it dude. I went through the same situation a while back, with my wife deciding she wanted to "be on her own" with another guy and principally because, yes, I had been taking her for granted. She refused counselling and I guess I don't blame her, and I just thank the heavens that there was no child involved. With that in mind, I can only speak from my personal experience, with no offspring, so you should adjust to taste. Others will be able to speak with greater expertise... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by turgid dahlia at 10:18 PM on July 21, 2008

My fiancee and I are perfectly matched because we both adore chatfilter.
posted to Ask Metafilter by felix betachat at 11:39 AM on July 17, 2008

This thread sheds some light on the subject.
posted to MetaTalk by burnmp3s at 5:57 AM on July 16, 2008

At last, a story in which I can hate everybody.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 11:55 AM on July 14, 2008

For what it's worth, that's my blog. I wrote that. And it's pretty much a tempest in a coffee cup -- infuriating at the time, but not such a big deal the next day. I milked it for a quick, disposable blog post and got over it a few hours before MeFi (and now BoingBoing) picked it up.

I can totally admit that I behaved like an utter dick in the situation and made a bigger deal out of it than I should have on my blog. But is this really bigger than all that? I don't... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by chinese_fashion at 12:07 PM on July 14, 2008

Damn, you're really getting the business, huh chinese_fashion? Remember nobody on metafilter has never experienced irritation over a possibly trivial thing and then spoke in an excited manner about it.

keep your head up.
posted to MetaFilter by Divine_Wino at 12:36 PM on July 14, 2008

I thought the first link was going to be this guy.
posted to MetaFilter by gubo at 7:29 AM on July 14, 2008

This is how we roll in Gloucestershire.
posted to MetaFilter by mhum at 11:29 AM on July 14, 2008

You people and your volunteer voting MAKE ME SICK.

Here we have to vote in all elections. Recently we had the local government elections and my choice boiled down to some cunt that wanted to shut down the local skate bowl, and some desiccated old bitch that opposed live music in pubs. So I didn't vote, I got fined $70.

And you're apathetic about voting for a person that could launch a nuclear war?!
posted to MetaFilter by mattoxic at 5:57 AM on July 14, 2008