No. We like our women like we like our scotch: 18 years old and mixed up with coke.
posted to MetaFilter by jonmc at 1:29 PM on July 14, 2008

You know, I'm a pretty big apologist for religion, and even at times for organized religion. But in this one small way, I've got to agree with sonohito: There are people in other churches who behave worse than the Scientologists behave, and we should direct our outrage there too.

On the other hand, secret practices and (sometimes expensive) initiations aren't limited to the Scientologists. If we tolerate Freemasonry, Santeria,... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by nebulawindphone at 4:33 PM on May 21, 2008

Oh, and Cruel Shoes is the best book Steve Martin ever wrote.

Sorry, Steve, but I have to post this complete story from the book (I like to read this out loud to tolerant people during the holidays):


"Gift Of The Magi Indian Giver"

Carolyn wanted so much to give Roger something nice for Christmas, but they didn't have much money, and they had to spend every last cent on candy for the baby. She... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by krinklyfig at 5:45 PM on January 30, 2008

Since I'm in my third semester of a history Phd, I'm really starting to wish that history books were kinda written like vampire/supernatural porn. Plucky nation that does things differently from other nations runs into an oppressive evil. Plucky nation then befriends a dark and disturbing nation that actually has a heart of gold. Plucky nation and dark/disturbing nation have hot sex. Oppressive evil tries to destroy them both, but in the end they find way to defeat it. Then they have more... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by teleri025 at 2:46 PM on January 25, 2008

tl;dr.
posted to MetaFilter by champthom at 5:57 AM on January 14, 2008

Anyone who is as cynical as I and hates this pay it forward bullshit should sit down and watch 'Paha Maa' (aka Frozen Land).

It's basically the Finnish Pay it Forward: you do someone shitty to someone else and they'll take it out on the next person until someone ends up dead.
posted to MetaFilter by slimepuppy at 8:27 AM on December 17, 2007

This may be true but it resonates as one of the iterations of the classic Martial Arts Master "makes a bully cry and then they all hug" chestnuts.

When your taking Aikido it's an Aikidoka Master (if not Ushiba himself) on a Tokyo subway talking down a ogre sized dunk.

If your taking Wing Chun it's William Cheung compassionately showing a knife wielding gang member the error of his ways on a street car.

You know... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by tkchrist at 10:37 AM on December 17, 2007

If nobody ever favorited me, I would be able to get to my usual "Statistical outlier" status in no time. However, I don't think that's one list I would like to be on top of. It smacks of "here are some favorites please love meee"
posted to MetaTalk by tehloki at 10:54 PM on December 2, 2007

William Roper: So, now you give the Devil the benefit of law!
Sir Thomas More: Yes! What would you do? Cut a great road through the law to get after the Devil?
William Roper: Yes, I'd cut down every law in England to do that!
Sir Thomas More: Oh? And when the last law was down, and the Devil turned 'round on you, where would you hide, Roper, the laws all being flat? This country is planted thick with laws, from coast to coast, Man's laws, not God's! And if... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by imperium at 11:00 AM on June 19, 2007

John Hunt's a coward.
posted to MetaFilter by strawberryviagra at 3:24 AM on March 5, 2007

It is time now to talk about The Wheel.

Growing up, my parents had obviously read all the studies about praise and punishment and their effect on a developing child. My father came from a distant, reserved family and was the middle of three brothers. My mother grew up in a close-knit, church going family as an older sister. He went to gradschool for plasma physics and she was the secretary that typed up his thesis.

They obviously disagreed on how... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by robocop is bleeding at 9:15 AM on February 13, 2007

In deference to Jess, I won't write the Tom post.

For the people who are interested in knowing what the heck she and I are talking about:

In the late 90s, the Internet was -- well, we were all there. A luminous chandelier of possibility. It was not hyperbole to say that the universe was unfolding in front of our eyes. Home pages were being bought and sold for frankly unrealistic sums of money. And there, face pressed wistfully up against the... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by felix at 12:41 PM on February 6, 2007

It's common to have people balancing eggs on the equinox and giving whacky explanations about the gravity of the sun. They did this to me in 2nd grade, and I bought it. Hey, I was 7.

The truth is, you can always balance an egg if you try. Because we're orbiting the sun, we're essentially in a "freefall" (that's how orbiting works), so there are no gravitational effects on earth that are caused by the sun. (Just like how astronauts in the space station are... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by knave at 2:20 PM on January 11, 2007

The three questions I ask everybody I meet in order to decide if I can love them:

1. Let us assume you met a rudimentary magician. Let us assume he can do five simple tricks -- he can pull a rabbit out of his hat, he can make a coin disappear, he can turn the ace of spades into the Joker card, and two others in a similar vein. These are his only tricks and he can't learn any more; he can only do these five. HOWEVER, it turns out he's doing these five tricks with real... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by ND¢ at 2:18 PM on December 20, 2006

I tried to get Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine to run my shortest mystery ever:

. Mr. ?


Translated as: Dot missed her period. Question Mark.

Which, interestingly, is six words.
posted to MetaFilter by dances_with_sneetches at 5:55 AM on October 25, 2006

Hi! My name is Keith, I'm 17, and I am the most powerful person on the planet. I know I'm not much to look at with my acne problems or my slight paunch, but please believe me when I say that I can have a half dozen Federal agents kicking down the door to your house in about an hour.

How, you ask? Simple! Unlike what you're read on those left-wing websites like Kos or MoveOn or Metafilter, I'm actually the guy that pulls President Bush's strings. Yeah, me. Not Cheney or... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by robocop is bleeding at 10:04 AM on October 24, 2006

Snakes In Space

There's your winner.

In space, no one can hear you slither.

SoaP will be much like sex with a dwarf. Sure it SEEMS like a good idea. All your friends are doing it. The advertisments all make it seem so cool. Yeah. It's fun while you do it.

But. Mark my words. Later. After the sheets have dried. When the bragging is over and the... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by tkchrist at 3:29 PM on August 18, 2006

I stopped watching Bond films when they stopped being good. Or more specifically when I stopped enjoying them. They've never been good in an objective sense. Bad directing. Bad casting. Bad writing. Awesome special effects, fun party music, a strong talented actor in the leading role, lots of gorgeous women in skimpy outfits, explosions and car chases galore... They never had to be good. Just fun. I stopped watching Bond films when they stopped being fun.

I mean heck,... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by ZachsMind at 9:12 PM on August 12, 2006