It was the third of July and the weather was fine
Ed brought the hot dogs, the croquet set was mine
But the red ball was missing and three mallets were bent
Ed suggested lawn darts so to K-Mart we went

We looked by the yard games, we looked by the grills
But we couldn't find lawn darts come high water or hills

We talked to the sales clerk and she started to cry
She said... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by grateful at 10:11 AM on October 7, 2008

No, both you 'tards, Russia is not an evil empire. Putin is a nasty little fuckstick surrounded by similar, who has made life hell at home and in neighbouring states, but Russia itself is full of people just like us whose lives suck and who wish things were better.

America != Bush; Russia != Putin.

GWB might have shown you by now how little words like "evil" help.
posted to MetaFilter by Pallas Athena at 7:31 PM on October 7, 2008

Oh please oh please oh please oh please in the third debate please let McCain say "you people."
posted to MetaFilter by FelliniBlank at 8:39 PM on October 7, 2008

But yeah, there are some ideas and emotions that can only be expressed in images. Like this one.
posted to MetaTalk by Navelgazer at 9:12 AM on October 5, 2008

When I saw this picture (which I found really moving, like, actual tears and stuff), I immediately thought of this picture, and I thought, "God, I can't wait until that little boy looks back and remembers this as the moment he realized he was going to be great".
posted to MetaFilter by padraigin at 8:41 PM on October 6, 2008

Also: those who are saying the zoo should have been more secure to prevent a 7yr old from doing this...

I'm pretty sure nearly all zoos, when making the argument for how to spend their tiny sums of money, would rather spend that money on providing superlative care for their animals and wouldn't even begin to imagine a member of their target demographic doing something like this. How could they possibly have foreseen something so unwell?

It makes... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by batmonkey at 11:33 AM on October 3, 2008

C'mon, you're a seven year old boy and you successfully break into the reptile area of the zoo. What would you do? Have fun! See what happens when you feed them to each other. Who knows? Who cares! You're SEVEN.

At six I had a compound microscope, complete with a 450x oil lens, and the ability to make my own (crude) wet-mount slide preperations. I spent a lot of time looking at plants and gutter water. I also had a healthy respect and empathy for... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by loquacious at 11:40 AM on October 3, 2008

polyhedron - Have you actually killed an animal? Insects don't count, you can't see the pain and fear in their eyes. I've hunted for years, and to this day taking an animal's life is a profound act for me every single time. The Native Americans had great respect for the animals they killed for a reason, the vast majority of humans will feel empathy for the animals. Even little kids.

I agree with you that if you 'polled all the boys in your local second grade classes,... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by TungstenChef at 12:51 PM on October 3, 2008

Palin Bingo.
posted to MetaFilter by contessa at 11:25 AM on October 2, 2008

Oh, how I miss Ann Richards!

Can you imagine a debate between Ann Richards and Sarah Palin ... moderated by Barbara Jordan?
posted to MetaFilter by ericb at 5:26 PM on October 1, 2008

I really really hate it when people take something innocent from my childhood and pervert it, or destroy it. Please stop doing that.

Yeah, there go all my fond childhood memories of Peaches.
posted to MetaFilter by malocchio at 12:46 PM on October 1, 2008

I've been a vegetarian for 24 years, and veganism still strikes me as madness,a nd vegans seems mad to me. On top of that, while I have been able to maintain my diet without difficulty, vegans seem often to manage thair vaganism for a year or two at most, and then, bam, right back to meat.

I often think the impulse to become vegan is the same impulse that causes everyone who is an infufferable prig to latch on something that will give their priggishness form, and, were... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Astro Zombie at 11:45 AM on October 1, 2008

No. You're not only not going to do that viral astroturfing shit here, I forbid you from doing it anywhere. This is now the seventh time (I've been keeping track) that I've heard the republican spin that the housing crisis is caused by Hispanics/black/minorities/poor. A memo must have gone out the night Paulson proposed the plan because jowly white douchebags from all over are all simultaneously on board with the same talking points.

Let me be perfectly clear. It is... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Pastabagel at 8:39 AM on September 30, 2008

Obama lied, markets died.

Slogans chanted, failure granted.
posted to MetaTalk by Lentrohamsanin at 8:55 AM on September 30, 2008

There was only one set of footprints.

Ah, plexi: it was then that we played that hopping game.
posted to MetaFilter by game warden to the events rhino at 6:09 PM on September 28, 2008

I found the narrator to be enormously self-centered & self-righteous.

So he drove her around for awhile & didn't charge her - that's nice. But the only reason the sound of the door shutting behind her was "the sound of the closing of a life" is because he let it be. He could have come back the next day & visited her, come back & been there for her in her final days. What would it have cost him? An hour a day at most? A couple of lunch breaks?... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by jammy at 5:13 AM on September 29, 2008

After you scan them you could put them in a nice digital photo frame thingy?
posted to Ask Metafilter by ian1977 at 1:32 PM on September 29, 2008

“You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,” she said. “Abuelaaaaaa!!”

I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a baby cried. It was the sound of the red-carding of a life.
posted to MetaFilter by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:03 PM on September 29, 2008

Ok, just 'cause I'm bored an I'm an asshole:

I'm about to turn in for the night, but before I do, I feel obligated to explain away a few things I think are hilarious:


Having read the entirety of your output as related to this issue while employing my incredibly refined reading comprehension skills, you've explained away nothing. Just because you say it doesn't mean it's true. Just because you wrongheadedly... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by loquacious at 1:54 AM on June 19, 2006

I'm not sure I understand the FPP purpose, other than perhaps to remind us of the Negativland awesomeness.

Worked for me. I think I'll spend the rest of my morning browsing old Mondo articles over gopher.
posted to MetaFilter by 7segment at 9:46 AM on September 28, 2008

Um, I don't feel inspired and empowered. This is another sales pitch from the feel good cult of productivity/entrepreneurship, a worship of the luxury of individual choice with ambiguous or generally obvious statements.

To the writer:
I just left home for the first time, moved to a completely different city where I only sort of speak the language. I picked a major in a highly competitive university and committed myself to two more years of intense, difficult... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Phalene at 2:53 PM on September 26, 2008

A few anecdotes and quotes from a surprisingly respectful Fark thread.

Dave Letterman on Paul Newman's V8 Volvo:

"So I'm aware of the fact Paul is more excited about this than I am. He calls me up from time to time and he says, "Have you picked out the interior yet?" And I said, "No, I haven't." Then he calls two weeks ago, and he says, "Dave, the cars are ready. WE got two, on for me, one for... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Lord_Pall at 9:14 AM on September 27, 2008

OMG they should make a Precious Moments figurine of McCain...Can't you see him in his little suit, with a flag, and a big head and those big, sad, wierd, tear-drop shaped eyes? and a single tear. It should say "I know what it's like..." On the little base.
posted to MetaFilter by Green Eyed Monster at 7:02 PM on September 26, 2008

That "agree with McCain" thing is getting some serious traction.

If a republican agrees with a democrat, (s)he is bipartisan.
If a democrat agrees with a republican, (s)he is weak.
posted to MetaFilter by gatorae at 8:07 PM on September 26, 2008

Also, I'd pay good money to see someone diagram her sentences.
posted to MetaFilter by brundlefly at 11:56 PM on September 25, 2008

It's like a very bad disney movie (trailer)
posted to MetaFilter by DreamerFi at 1:38 AM on September 26, 2008

Palin is a lot of things to lots of people, but Eminem got it right. She is whatever you say she is. She's just a politician, no threat to anyone, really.

What?
posted to MetaFilter by cashman at 6:57 AM on September 26, 2008

Hilariously, the Freepers seem to think that Obama's the one who's unprepared for debate, that he's upset because he'd have to write the answers on his hand again if the debate was delayed, that McCain should send Palin in his place, and that she'd wipe the floor with Obama.

How do these people live? One would think that without constant reminders, they would forget how to breathe and fall over dead, en masse.
posted to MetaFilter by ten pounds of inedita at 1:22 PM on September 24, 2008

I don't particularly care for dogs and I think pet owners should clean up after them, but is it correct environmental-science-wise to refer to increased bacteria levels from dog poop as "pollution"? That seems odd to me, both since bacteria are themselves living organisms and since I'd expect that higher levels of feces in the environment would be more "natural"... there wouldn't have been any people with pooper scoopers following around wild mammals before... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by hydropsyche at 7:08 AM on September 25, 2008

This thread needs to come with that DOINK-DOINK sound from Law and Order when the scene changes.
posted to MetaTalk by cmonkey at 7:31 AM on September 24, 2008

Please stop complaining about the way people make comments.
They are inane and don't add anything of value. QFT.
posted to MetaFilter by Jimbob at 4:29 AM on September 24, 2008

Live on a self-sufficient farm?

If IT fails, all life on a self-sufficient farm is going to get you is heavily armed visitors desperate to feed their children. There will be no justice for the guilty if IT fails. There won't be much of anything.

Oh, please. To conflate the collapse of the financial sector with the collapse of civilization (or even the actual, you know, productive sectors of the economy)... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Chrischris at 12:11 PM on September 22, 2008

If you're the kind of ignorant half-wit or disingenuous lying sack of shit who pretends to think Obama favors killing babies, we don't want or need your vote for Obama. Lying, slandering, disingenuous hacks pushing emotional hot buttons with disturbing mental images of things that don't happen in real life, or happen when a mother is fighting a massive ovarian tumor and needs chemo to survive, or when genetic testing is not done early and a fetus is discovered to have a terrible and fatal... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by fourcheesemac at 7:48 AM on September 21, 2008

I certainly know from observation his supporters do.

Which supporters? What have you observed? All supporters, or just a subset? Please give evidence for "Obama's supporters disdain people from small towns." I currently live in a small town. I'm a supporter.

I'm not claiming small town people are any better than big city people. The latter are certainly more...polished.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Miko at 12:50 PM on September 18, 2008

Media: for crying out loud, ignore these edicts and go on in. Stop lining up at the I-45 blockade. Stop hanging out near the FEMA hut. Go take a rubber dinghy across West Bay in middle of the night. Get in there and get some Pulitzer material. It's good practice for learning to be resourceful and adventurous in more prestigious assignments overseas.
posted to MetaFilter by crapmatic at 10:48 AM on September 19, 2008

Socialism is the control of the factors and outputs of production by the working class instead of a capitalist class which purchases labour from the working class through the institution of wage labour, extracting "profit" by paying less than the value created by the work.

This has nothing whatsoever to do with socialism, and I'm sick and fucking tired of everything that isn't the 100% Ayn Rand Libertarian ideal of capitalism being "socialism".... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Pope Guilty at 10:10 PM on September 16, 2008

RelationshipFilter: I'm absolutely in love with my SO, or at least I thought I was. He's very doting on me when he's around, but he has to be away "on business" at least once a week, and he never tells me anything about the trips, and get irritated when I try to ask him.

Additionally, while he has always treated me with respect and equality and all that (we live in San Fran, after all ;) ) he comes from a culture where women are expected... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Navelgazer at 8:50 PM on September 17, 2008

So let me get this, parents of kids with downs syndrome want others to have to go through that just so their kids aren't alone with this? That is so fucking crazy and selfish and DUMB. I have Cystic Fibrosis and I am ALL FOR pre-birth screenings so fewer people have to live through this crap (families and the kids who have it.) That is so selfish of them-I am in awe. I mean, if you choose to have a kid with downs even though you could choose not to, that's your problem. But don't try to... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by aacheson at 7:39 PM on September 15, 2008

How often do you brush the cats? I find that helps quite a bit with reducing cat hair levels at my place. You might look into a Furminator -- they remove a LOT of hair. In addition, if they're shedding more than usual right now, it may be due to the changing seasons and it may abate soon.

Otherwise, I sometimes get frustrated and take a lint roller to my cat. He doesn't seem to mind.
posted to Ask Metafilter by runningwithscissors at 12:21 PM on September 14, 2008

Getting our long hair cat the "lion cut" at our vet helped cut down on the loose hair a lot.
posted to Ask Metafilter by roofone at 1:29 PM on September 14, 2008

Oh my god. OH MY GOD! I see the way clear to a better future. We vote in John McCain. Then, stay with me, stay with me... we KIDNAP SARAH PALIN AND REPLACE HER WITH TINA FEY!!

She'd totally pull it off. She's perfect. If Sarah Palin's not standing right next to her, you'd totally believe it's her. Once she's sworn in, we just wait for McCain to keel over, and PRESIDENT TINA FEY!! How fucking cool would that be? Imagine a President that's... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Naberius at 11:30 PM on September 13, 2008

Jesus H. Christ. You know what I'm sick of?

Let's clear some myths up.

First. There is no "conservative voice" in this thread. Okay. I doubt very much the person(s) in question, who by name call them selves conservative, could articulate what Conservative Political Philosophy is without looking it up. And if they did and had any shred of intellectual honest they would see precious little of that philosophy at work in the Bush... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by tkchrist at 8:42 PM on September 6, 2008

Savior in the bathroom
Please don't freak
The door is locked, just you and me
Can I take you to a cathedral that's got stained windows
You can watch yourself while you are teaching
posted to MetaFilter by everichon at 9:57 AM on September 12, 2008

It's sheep we're up against.
posted to MetaFilter by everichon at 11:27 AM on September 12, 2008

Ok, I thought that was a fun piece of music and was sure it was authentic. Curiosity got the better of me, looked up the lead singer on WhitePages and gave him a call. Sal Polichetti, a lovely guy. Told him there was a controversy about whether Sonseed existed or not, about this post. He was totally friendly and likable. Turns out he works in NYC, a couple of blocks from where I live.

I asked him if I could take notes as we spoke and said ok. This is what he... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by nickyskye at 12:42 PM on September 12, 2008

Sonseed doesn't even come in the top 10 of religious weirdness on vinyl.

I believe you, but what I really want are citations and links. I'm that crass.

This is an arbitrary list from my memory banks, but here goes nothin'...

1. The New Creation, Troubled (YouTube clip) [Anglophile Canadian mom starts Christian rock group with son & next-door neighbor. They end up sounding like a Shaggs/Velvet... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by jonp72 at 6:18 PM on September 12, 2008

You may have noticed the fire hydrants along Aderholt's street are black, not red.

In Texas, that legally warns firefighters they may not function - private companies such as Cash Water are not required to maintain enough water pressure to fight fires.

They maintain the hydrants are technically only there to help flush out and clean their systems.

Thanks invisible hand of the market!
posted to MetaFilter by burnmp3s at 7:21 AM on September 12, 2008

"So ... liberal statism is superior to conservative statism?"

Yes, as more than a generation's worth of objective evidence makes incontrovertible. Liberal statism produces a nation with a robust economic foundation, a strong middle class and a government that responds to input from the people to accomplish national goals and support the common good.

Conservative statism produces a hollowed out nation run by a... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Naberius at 7:15 PM on September 10, 2008

The real kicker will be that it's a Dutch fertility festival or some shit and it really is a giant kid-ejaculating penis.
posted to MetaFilter by fullerine at 5:40 AM on September 10, 2008

This will bellend.
posted to MetaFilter by Elmore at 5:51 AM on September 10, 2008