How many houses do you have... ON MARS?
posted to MetaFilter by Artw at 7:17 PM on September 1, 2008

I think your post shows resilience, presence of mind, an admirable comfort with reality and an equally admirable ability to proactively face problems with sanity and strength. Though you don't know it yet, you are ahead of the game by miles and miles.

Hope these help (relevant posts from my personal blog):

The Art of Living Alone

The Pleasures of Living Alone and Single

I agree that learning to... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Jennifer S. at 6:20 PM on July 25, 2008

Do you think maybe you're afraid of the emotional intimacy that tends to develop as the honeymoon period hormones fade?
posted to Ask Metafilter by mandymanwasregistered at 5:50 PM on July 14, 2008

This is a really perennial question on the internet. There are a lot of very smart, very articulate women who seem to present very well, and yet are unhappily single.

Yes, some of it is probably luck, especially if you live in a city where the demographics in your age range skew female (because of incarceration, or work opportunities, or any other reason). But a lot more, I think, has to do with what some of the women in this position are actually... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 6:34 AM on June 26, 2008

I'm sorry you're feling poorly. I go through a bunch of stages really, the major one of which is really that it's okay to still love someone, what you're mostly getting used to is not being loved back. That is, it's okay to love someone who doesn't love you and give your feelings time to naturally ease off of their own accord (not just force an "okay I don't love this person anymore" feeling on yourself) you just need to be clear that 1. your love isn't reciprocated 2. feelings are not actions.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by jessamyn at 9:23 AM on June 23, 2008 marked best answer

However, I feel like I'm not respected, like my feelings and emotions aren't returned on the same level that they are given, and that I'm being jerked around.

She is not obligated to like you as much as you like her. The fact that she does not doesn't mean that she is failing to respect you.

At the same time, I can't stand to give up.

You are confusing "I prefer" with... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ironmouth at 7:48 AM on May 27, 2008

How do I develop a thick enough skin to realize that just because a guy wants to take it slow and doesn't adore me from our very first date, it's not necessarily a full-on rejection?

Date people you're not totally gaga over, and don't get serious about it. That may sound weird, but think of this question:

"I keep trying to play this one really difficult piano concerto, but my fingers just can't play the notes fast... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by shmegegge at 12:12 PM on May 13, 2008

No.

This is a technique that men use to sexualize and objectify women in their daily lives. It's extraordinarily distasteful and offensive, and I hope for the sake of all the women around him that your friend learns to stop doing this.
posted to Ask Metafilter by mr_roboto at 4:38 PM on April 30, 2008

This thread is hilarious, because it's surely just a transcript of the mental squabbling that led you to post this question in the first place.

All right, so, I have decided that you and I are identical twins because I just emerged from a freakishly similar mindfuck of a non-relationship. Thus, my advice to you reflects the tone of my own recent self-navigation.

Only you know the details of how things went down with Fred - how much of a douche... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by granted at 2:10 AM on April 16, 2008

This is all from Ms. Vegetable, who is a 23-year-old female who suffers from depression on and off.

- Are you seeing a psychiatrist or a therapist? A therapist is awesome for talking to (my primary defense against depression), but a psychiatrist is specifically trained to deal with relapsing depression.
- I highly do NOT recommend options suggested by tosteka. Those things always just made me angry and feel more depressed (especially anything related to... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by a robot made out of meat at 7:16 AM on March 15, 2008

I know how frustrating it is to have given your time, attention, and emotional energy to helping a person who decieved you. I had a friend in high school who lied to a few people about having cancer, and I was furious when I found out that she was lying.

That said, at this point, the basis for the assertion that sansgras is a fraud is basically a "feeling." Perhaps that feeling is right, but for now, I wonder if we couldn't show a little kindness to sansgras,... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by prefpara at 11:22 AM on March 10, 2008

the_dude, I was responding to some of the comments that seemed to be encouraging you to label your ex a whore in your mind to help you get over her. Yes, the relationship creashed and burned and it hurts but trust me on this, there were good things about your ex too, things that you liked enough to make the effort to be with her. Labeling her "evil" or thinking of the whole thing as a mistake negates the good feelings that you had about the relationship, and those good, loving,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by fshgrl at 2:30 PM on February 24, 2008 marked best answer

Oh my god just throw it out
posted to Ask Metafilter by 1 at 8:38 AM on February 11, 2008

I would suggest finding a reputable dietitian or nutritionist, doing a metabolic analysis and designing a plan together that's tuned in to your body, your lifestyle, and your needs. Supervision can make sure that the weight comes off at the right speed and that it stays off. My dietitian helped make a plan that's easy to track, doesn't deprive me of ANY foods, and is shaving off the weight slowly, surely, and hopefully permanently, and I can't recommend that road enough.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mynameisluka at 9:12 PM on January 3, 2008

Maybe you just need a little vacation from yourself. Give yourself a month to get yourself together. Take some time away from your rescuer boyfriend. Don't drink. Eat healthy. Go to some yoga classes. Cook delicious dinners. Make lunch dates with your good friends and bring new topics to talk about. Take stock of your work life and make sure you're doing the best job you could be doing. Picture yourself as a very successful person who has their life together and act like it. Just for a month.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by amanda at 4:57 PM on January 1, 2008

Mention drinking in an anonymous post and it is suddenly as if Carrie Nation herself has appeared here. It is understandable, as the two incidents highlighted involve drinking. The question is, does drama seem to follow the drinking or not? In my experience drama is borne out of discontent with one's current situation that is manifesting itself as drama. It is also self-perpetuating and very, very easy to kill. Admit it, a drama filled life is sort of fun, right? Instead of filling your life... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by geoff. at 5:11 PM on January 1, 2008

(Bracing for "chatfilter" deletion. But I hope not.)

Adaptation
Taught me to see more beauty in life; that I may never find "the answer" so it's best to just enjoy life on its own terms without overthinking it; that I did not have to let the opinions of others determine my level of happiness ("You are what you love, not what loves you."); that there is healthy balance between caution and reckless abandon; that you have to pursue... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by The Deej at 9:30 AM on December 25, 2007

There are a lot of assumptions, many of them sexist, going on in this thread. For example, "Generally speaking, people with expensive tastes don't go into poverty-wage fields unless they have something to fall back on." That's simply not true-- some people prioritize their career fulfillment over financial fulfillment and put the fancy cars, stereo systems and suits on hold, save up to buy them, or scrimp in other ways so they can still have Marc Jacobs pumps or whatever. Non-profits... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by alicetiara at 11:22 AM on December 8, 2007

mdn wrote:
and I think that he should be very very careful that this doesn't turn into male contempt of frivolous female spending patterns, which is an incredibly destructive dynamic that can destroy any relationship.

Are you seriously suggesting that the sexist position here is not embracing the stereotype of a materialistic female as central to womanhood?

I'm sorry, I must have been unclear. My point is that many... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by alicetiara at 3:22 PM on December 8, 2007

You have a very long pattern of being intimate with the person you're fucking, because you've been doing it for the last 10 years. You probably got a lot of your support and social interaction from that person. For an entire decade. Not only that, but when you moved you lost your support circle.

That means you can very easily fall back into that pattern of relying on one person for emotional intimacy and sex, even more so without a good support... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by sondrialiac at 8:12 AM on November 30, 2007

Wow, so this happens a lot eh?

I've found Byron Katie's self help books, in this case, especially, "I Need Your Love, Is That True?" very helpful, for helping me enjoy the present, and the love in my life (from *all* sources) and not make myself crazy worrying about things that don't need to be worried about or can't be fixed anyway.

Anyway, this is the kind of 'advice' where I'm talking at me as much as at... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Salamandrous at 10:35 AM on November 30, 2007

Are you "ready" to be diagnosed with a crippling disease? Are you "ready" to be hit by a bus while crossing the street? Of course you are, as ready as anyone else would be. If not, you better not leave the house.

You're always ready for the next relationship. At all moments, you are still you, capable of choosing your experiences and deciding what kind of person you want to be. Thinking you must cross some... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Cool Papa Bell at 1:16 PM on October 15, 2007

Relish the fact that there's some vestige of basic, unprompted human emotional expressiveness which hasn't been totally browbeaten out of you by the employment world?

Then celebrate another "stellar annual evaluation," wearing your pride on your face the whole time?

If anything, I'd say you should learn to take honesty beyond facial ticks. Since this apparently hasn't caused you trouble, you seem to be lucky enough to work in a place... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by poweredbybeard at 9:02 AM on November 27, 2007

It's important that you understand pazasygeek's use of the word "maniac" here. It's not the Bill Murray, cheerfully-over-the-top kind of maniac. Boston drivers are actual, clinical psychopaths. I used to commute down through malden and everett to Boston via bike. This was in the 90s, and things can change, but I used to get an unbelievable amount of abuse and hostility from drivers. In other cities they may be careless, or indifferent, but in Boston I found that many drivers actively... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by stupidsexyFlanders at 12:34 PM on November 24, 2007

My friend, an experienced rider, commuted on his bike in Boston and only got hit by two cars and one bus. YMMV.
posted to Ask Metafilter by found missing at 12:35 PM on November 24, 2007

ICE CREAM! Duh.
posted to Ask Metafilter by sourwookie at 4:13 PM on November 17, 2007 marked best answer

I always spend so much time trying to figure out what a good response to questions like this would be. And I always seem to fail. It really seems as though no advice we can give can ever do you any good: it's something very personal, related to an entire lifetime of past experience, and there is no way we can have the right perspective to tell you what would be best for you, in your situation, with your parents.

But, man, that's unsatisfying. And, man, it just seems as... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ms. Saint at 11:59 AM on November 12, 2007

"I'm sorry, you just come across as really desperate when we're not having sex. I'm not into that. Try to relax on the next guy you meet." That way you're still a bit caddish, letting her make it your fault, but you've also been honest and given her some decent advice for the future.

There's absolutely no reason to destroy this woman's self-esteem just to be "honest." She had different expectations than you did; that does not make... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by occhiblu at 11:02 AM on November 5, 2007

Mario
Luigi
Yoshi
Peach
Toad
Bowser
Wario
Waluigi
Donkey Kong
posted to Ask Metafilter by fallenposters at 10:30 AM on October 31, 2007

For serious, who are all these people saying ladyparts grooming is some modern thing? Anyone read Lysistrata (probably NSFW)? Specifically when Lysistrata gathers the women and Cleonice compliments one of the Boeotian girls by saying, "Yes, on my word! and her 'garden' is so thoroughly weeded too!" Yes, a play written by a man, but the point it may be a fad now, but it probably was one back then too, so don't let some sociological or gender studies thesis force you into deciding on... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by kkokkodalk at 10:40 AM on October 15, 2007

p.s. of all my female friends, the only two i know that do this do not have healthy body images or sexual relationships.

Jesu Cristo, there is so much emotional and political baggage in this thread that I'd be surprised if the OP is still reading this far. My favorite is how a bunch of you probably are also tewtally convinced that you're like, "really sex-positive, to the max." What, did I stumble into 1973?

Dear... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Side Pony at 2:14 PM on October 15, 2007

Call her and apologize for not showing up on the date. Maybe she'll think you did the same thing she did.
posted to Ask Metafilter by PFL at 2:36 PM on September 27, 2007

I relate to this as well. I'm quite anxious about the future anyway, and relationships always feel quite risky to me, so I think it's just a specific part of that. For those who are suggesting it's normal, yes, a bit of it is, but I think the OP is talking about an irrational and miserable degree of focus on the potential partner to the exclusion of her own comfort in the present moment. A bit of obsession, even.

PowerCat has something important to say here, and so does... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Miko at 8:16 PM on August 1, 2007

Your anxiety is caused by your need for an answer to your Eternal Question, which is "Am I really a worthwhile person?" No one, and I mean, NO ONE, can answer this for you. Your every romantic interaction is filtered through your belief about this question.

I had a guy break up with me once in favor of another girl. I pressed him for answers why (was she prettier than me? smarter? etc). He told me that nothing he said was going to dissuade me from what I... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by desjardins at 8:31 AM on August 2, 2007

Drunk texting is what people do nowadays. Before that there was drunk dialing, and prior to that, drunk semaphoring and drunk smoke signalling. It's an essential part of the human condition, and in fact, my in-depth study of T'ang-era Chinese poetry indicates that if it weren't for wine and women, there would essentially have been no poetry at all in the Middle Kingdom.

Everyone knows this, and the polite reaction for all involved is to pretend it never happened, which... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Midnight Creeper at 7:17 AM on May 18, 2007

Agree with pazaygeek on observing the interactions between Mr. BossMan and the rest of the staff. Can they joke/gibe back at him? Do they just roll their eyes when he leaves and not let it affect their mood? Could it be part of the work culture? I used to work with all ex-military guys (as the only female) and they were ALL harsh with me from day 1. It was, however, just the culture, so the 2nd time Mr. Senior-Over-Me-Semi-Supervisor barged into my office shouting, "What the fuck were you... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by sfkiddo at 9:28 PM on April 1, 2007 marked best answer

in ur basement
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 /.((( 
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    !|| " :||      
    !||   :|| 
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wastn ur question

posted to Ask Metafilter by wfrgms at 9:09 PM on March 12, 2007

The word "liable" is a holdover from a time when there was sense in such things. In an age when McDonald's is liable for the heat of their coffee, it's effectively meaningless.

Can we please not drag this one out? McDonald's habitually served coffee that would destroy human flesh on contact. Destroying human flesh falls well outside the job description of food. In this particular case, the coffee was hot enough that it had started melting... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ROU_Xenophobe at 4:38 PM on March 10, 2007

no offense, but eating burritos in Boston is like dining on lobster in Utah. It's a decent option for residents who can't, say, travel to California or Texas, but it is not the city's specialty - besides, if one had to get a burrito, El Pelon > Anna's * infinity.

If you're going to dine in New England, you should take advantage of the regional specialties. Those are -- North Atlantic seafood (lobster, clams, oysters, etc.), seasonal autumn harvests (pumpkins, apples,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by bl1nk at 8:46 AM on October 12, 2006

I did this the other day, with Outlook.

You can assign a task to someone - I don't have outlook on any of my home computers, but the functionality is there under tasks. Open a new task, and there is a command under maybe file? that says "assign" and then you can choose the person from your Outlook address book (i.e., anyone who works at your company). It ends up in their task list and yours -- and they have to accept it. I can take a look on Monday and... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Medieval Maven at 6:11 AM on July 8, 2006