Don't treat John McCain like some inhuman asshole! He's as human as you and I! If you prick him, does he not crash a plane?
posted to MetaFilter by jamstigator at 3:02 PM on October 4, 2008

My fellow Americans, I want to take a few moments of your time to talk to you today about John McCain's decision to call timeout in his campaign.

I just want to say, I agree with his idea wholeheartedly. Wholeheartedly. (beat) It is, finally, a good step in the right direction -- a step that frankly I think we all wish would have happened, somehow, sooner.

If only he had called timeout when he was trying to gut the regulators in the 1980s.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by felix at 1:05 PM on September 24, 2008

Lana Turner has collapsed!
I was trotting along and suddenly
it started raining and snowing
and you said it was hailing
but hailing hits you on the head
hard so it was really snowing and
raining and I was in such a hurry
to meet you but the traffic
was acting exactly like the sky
and suddenly I see a headline
LANA TURNER HAS COLLAPSED!
there is no snow... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by stresstwig at 9:48 PM on September 9, 2008

Jeez, how many times I have rehearsed this post in my head. Well, full disclosure time:

I am a magpie.
posted to MetaFilter by everichon at 12:26 PM on August 20, 2008

Karadžić is responsible for so much of what happened to me.

My family and I were starved and cut off from electricity, gas, water, phone service and even things like wood with which we could have kept somewhat warm. My father, a funny, kind and literate man, and my mother, a vivacious woman who struggled during Communism and the war to see her children survive with the class and dignity of our family intact, were both reduced to shells of their former selves because... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Dee Xtrovert at 3:45 PM on July 21, 2008

This post is useless without dialogue.
posted to MetaFilter by weapons-grade pandemonium at 11:24 AM on June 11, 2008

If this comment gets 500 favorites, I will close languagehat's account.

That's how this thing works, right?
posted to MetaTalk by Parasite Unseen at 2:41 PM on April 16, 2008

After my parents were divorced in 1978, they set up a visitation schedule, as they lived in 2 different states. I was to spend 6 weeks every summer with my dad until age 18. That first summer, I felt awful. There was seemingly nothing to do, and my little brother was too young to be a companion that could help me through it.

Then, one day, my dad takes me around to the place of this new woman he's seeing. On her table is the blue box. While... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by thanotopsis at 1:26 PM on March 4, 2008

If 500 people favorite this comment, I'll disable my account.
posted to MetaFilter by hermitosis at 3:54 PM on February 10, 2008

This comment should be popular.
posted to MetaFilter by Rhomboid at 6:43 AM on October 22, 2006

Look, if we called out every thread full of hysterical liberals savaging someone for actually taking a moment and dispassionately thinking about a situation before posting, we'd have time for little else.
posted to MetaTalk by "Tex" Connor and the Wily Roundup Boys at 5:29 PM on December 27, 2007

Anybody else think the 'Don't say it since it will cause a shitstorm' argument doesn't particularly make sense most of the time it's used?

Especially since it frequently just means "Don't say it, since if you do, we're going to freak the fuck out like a toddlers with hornets in our diapers."

Uh, yeah, how about you just don't freak out, maybe? Then there would be no crapstorm, life would go on as normal, and everyone would be happy.
posted to MetaTalk by "Tex" Connor and the Wily Roundup Boys at 5:32 PM on December 27, 2007

The whole whining, emotional, incapable-of-cold-hard-reason, finger-wagging liberal vs. supremely-rational, balls-to-the-wall, no-rules conservative/libertarian memewar is eyerollingly tiresome.

It is eyerollingly tiresome, and that's why I let out a big sigh every time, for example, some whining, emotional liberal screams that someone is an inhuman monster for broaching the question of paying for some of the left's pie-in-the-sky... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by "Tex" Connor and the Wily Roundup Boys at 6:08 PM on December 27, 2007

Oh, Tex, you pretty much prove that there doesn't have to be a group of conservatives for people to get tired of hearing their bullshit—you do just fine on your own!

Exactly my point. Even a single voice that isn't singing that familiar knee-jerk liberal tune is absolutely intolerable to a lot of people around here.

oh, tex, wasn't your name steve elvis doctor president something or other in a previous life?... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by "Tex" Connor and the Wily Roundup Boys at 6:46 PM on December 27, 2007

I've never listened to Rush Limbaugh, and I vote Democrat. I probably could come up with an adjective besides "liberal," but "liberal" works great.

For example, the other day I had to deal with some retard ranting about the private equity group "Haliburton." That's a clear case of acute liberalness. What else am I going to call it?
posted to MetaTalk by "Tex" Connor and the Wily Roundup Boys at 7:02 PM on December 27, 2007

I accidentally self-favorited this post. But please leave it like that. I just discovered that any favoriting of my posts, even by me, even by accident, leaves me dizzy with self-pride.
posted to MetaTalk by Astro Zombie at 3:08 PM on August 29, 2007

People will favourite a comment consisting of random letters and numbers so that isn't a valid metric of anything in the first place.


12XU


*waits for the favorites to start pouring in...*
posted to MetaTalk by dersins at 1:02 PM on August 27, 2007

when you slap a $50 on the dresser during a backrub, that's the international sign for "happy ending, please."

Everyone knows this.
posted to MetaTalk by mathowie at 8:50 PM on August 23, 2007

areola51: hey you
GreyGhost: sup
areola51: that was amazing, i can't wait to see you again
GreyGhost: Yeah I'm pretty busy these days
areola51: u said we could go to pottery barn
GreyGhost: wtf are we going to get at pottery barn?
areola51: something for your spaceship, I don't know
GreyGhost: Listen about that, it kind of freaks me out that you left a toothbrush in my bathroom
areola51: y???... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Stan Chin at 10:10 PM on June 27, 2007

Three thousand people died. The culprits were a lethal combination of stupidity and gravity. The ones who committed the act, died in the planes. The ones who told them to do it got away scott free, and they will never be brought to justice for conspiracy to murder three thousand innocent lives.

The physics of it are irrelevant. It won't bring back the lost, and it won't bring justice to the guilty...

posted by ZachsMind at 12:28 PM on... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Pastabagel at 1:09 PM on June 25, 2007

And to think that peasant at the checkout didn't know what one was when I asked.
posted to MetaFilter by Abiezer at 12:03 PM on April 26, 2007

If these white men had been properly armed they would have been able to defend themselves against themselves.
posted to MetaFilter by Citizen Premier at 2:42 PM on April 22, 2007

I eat 2 bowls of Kaboom and I can fuck all night, yall.
posted to MetaFilter by Senor Cardgage at 11:54 AM on April 2, 2007

I hate coffee. But I love tea. A tea house just opened up downtown where I live (smaller town). I think I might mosey on over.
posted to MetaFilter by evilelvis at 1:25 PM on February 23, 2007

You know what I'd like to do, I'd like to start calling any old thing I please "fighting for your rights," the way JujuB does.

My son is working at a McDonald's. I'm not a fan of fast food, but my son is in there, fighting for your rights.

I was at a basketball game the other day, and I'm not a fan of sports but those men were really fighting for your rights out on the court.

Shit I got drunk as fuck last... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by shmegegge at 7:19 AM on February 21, 2007

Rumor has it that the wake will involve, after the viewing, boiling water being poured into the casket, at which point the lid will be closed for three minutes.
posted to MetaFilter by DoctorFedora at 3:26 PM on January 6, 2007

I am so fucking stoked by this news. Just imagine the possibilities here; self sustaining colonies, a steady hydrogen source for fuel, possibly even life.

I could very well be the first man to kill and eat a Martian. That would be so fucking great.
posted to MetaFilter by Science! at 11:56 AM on December 6, 2006

I've seen a possum eating an unripe paw-paw before. He looked like it was killing him, yet he just couldn't stop eating it.
posted to MetaFilter by Pollomacho at 12:50 AM on December 6, 2006

yeah, who the hell needs wheaties for breakfast?... eat a bowl of spider eggs first thing in the morning and you can go through the rest of your day knowing that's the worst thing that'll happen to you all day
posted to MetaTalk by pyramid termite at 10:45 PM on October 8, 2006

What I want to know is how will the porn industry embrace, then advance, this breakthrough?
posted to MetaFilter by NationalKato at 7:03 AM on October 5, 2006

I'm not gay or anything, but this video clip makes my penis all confused over Olbermann.
posted to MetaFilter by thanotopsis at 12:25 PM on September 26, 2006

posted to MetaFilter by interrobang at 9:29 PM on September 21, 2006

I lost my youngest child in the south tower. He had started his new job just a few months before.

There are no politics, no heroes, no villains to ponder -- most times, there are no other victims except that young man who is always 3 years old in my memories.

If you really cared, you'd leave an ellipsis.
Thanks, cortex -- made me smile.
posted to MetaFilter by joaquim at 11:02 AM on September 11, 2006

I’m sure the series is just compensating for the biased news coverage.
I don’t know what the Republican version of F911 would be. I don’t much care for Moore’s work, but he did bring up certain issues that needed to be brought up. If the Dems were in power, I’d be kicking their asses over the exact same issues. As it is, they’re not holding the reins right now, so this “underdog” bullshit doesn’t fly.
But the world has put up with a lot of the U.S. revisionist history.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Smedleyman at 9:52 AM on September 8, 2006

It seems silly to favorite your own comment, but some of my comments are just so damn funny.
posted to MetaTalk by Astro Zombie at 7:48 PM on September 7, 2006

"Jusht like a fop to bring an umbrella to a gunfight"
posted to MetaFilter by stenseng at 12:21 PM on September 7, 2006

This is a dark day indeed. It marks the beginning of the stingray-crocodile wars.

.
posted to MetaFilter by TheGoldenOne at 10:18 AM on September 4, 2006

When Hitler's brain hollers "Mach schnell! Mach schnell!," Einstein's (in a jar next to his on the back seat) calmly explains that velocity depends on the observer in a relativistic universe. Hitler, confined to his jar, can do nothing but spew invective.
posted to MetaFilter by languagehat at 11:45 AM on September 1, 2006

Carry on the baseless cynicism.

Paint that rainbow scene for me if the palette is chock full of options, wash away my willful ignorance with your strokes of reasoning.

Do not simply tell me I'm looking at it incorrectly.
posted to MetaFilter by prostyle at 9:49 AM on August 30, 2006

The fucked up part is that Pluto is still out there, doing it's thing.
posted to MetaFilter by jon_kill at 1:15 PM on August 24, 2006

However, this does raise the interesting possibility of Massively-Multiplayer-Online-Spellchecking.
posted to MetaFilter by eatitlive at 11:51 AM on August 21, 2006