MetaFilter

y'know, secondhand pho is right. where are my favorites, AZ? WHERE ARE MY FAVORITES?
posted to MetaFilter by russm at 8:40 PM on July 16, 2011

ZIPPITY BOP!
posted to MetaFilter by Mahogne at 4:30 AM on June 14, 2001

Just give up, AZ. If mefites ever stop glibly dismissing vast areas of art about which they are wholly ignorant, I'll eat my chapeau and puke it up in the shape of a pipe.
posted to MetaFilter by generalist at 9:01 AM on June 18, 2011

Someone needs to do this with a photo that's like 80 or 100 years old.

Looking into the past
posted to MetaFilter by vacapinta at 9:03 AM on June 14, 2011

the shaggs made music according to rules and structures that i can't even begin to parse or comprehend - but the music makes sense - according to what we musicians regard as good, they're godawful - but the music makes sense

therefore, as a musician confronted with music that seems to be terrible, but - has an inner structure that holds together, even if i can't understand what that structure is - breaks every rule i've ever heard of but still sounds valuable and... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by pyramid termite at 9:16 PM on May 12, 2011

Really.
posted to MetaFilter by R. Mutt at 1:15 PM on April 19, 2011

I heard the gunfire and the explosions from the retaliatory attack on Camp Phoenix yesterday as I was walking to breakfast, and knew immediately what it was.

Terry Jones lit the spark to a powderkeg that was filled with the violence of 10 years of occupation, the publicized trophy murders of Afghan civilians by American soldiers, the killings of Afghan children gathering firewood by Americans from a helicopter, the oops-sorry-bout-that killing of the Afghan president's... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by vitia at 11:28 PM on April 2, 2011

bee boop boop humor is illogical
posted to MetaFilter by entropicamericana at 11:39 AM on March 2, 2011

It was then that the Yeti carried you.
posted to MetaFilter by jrossi4r at 12:48 PM on December 3, 2007

Any sufficiently advanced financial instrument is indistinguishable from fraud.
posted to MetaFilter by xthlc at 1:31 PM on November 16, 2010

Must we suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous 4chan?
posted to MetaFilter by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 8:00 AM on July 2, 2009

I think this needs a mash-up with H.P. Lovecraft:

Dear Girls Above Me, "Ultimate horror often paralyses memory in a merciful way." Were you talking about me?

Dear Girls Above Me, "Then the shadows began to gather, first little furtive ones under the table, and then bolder ones in the dark panelled corners." Talk to the landlord about that before they come down here, please.

Dear Girls Above Me,... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Joey Michaels at 6:44 PM on February 9, 2011

If you're going to visit the Sunken City, which, by the way, is perched above some wonderful tide pools that are fun to explore, you should also visit the Marine Mammal Rehab Center, which is behind the Korean Bell. If you visit Pt. Fermin Park, which is where the Sunken City is, there's no missing the Korean Bell--it's enormous. Anyway, I used to take dates to the Marine Mammal Rehab Center at night because there's no night watchman and absolutely no security and you can walk right up to the... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by HotPatatta at 5:55 AM on January 15, 2011 marked best answer

In the aftermath of a regrettable youthful indiscretion I was once, as they call it, a "ward of the state." During my incarceration there was this guy, Vinnie (picture every cliche about guys named Vinnie in prison and multiply them by a factor of ten) who spent several years ordering books about hypnosis.

He was convinced that he was going to hypnotize his way out of prison. From time to time we would see Vinnie standing in the sally port, and hear his quiet... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by cedar at 12:43 PM on December 27, 2003

I would say that my use of the site has not changed dramatically since before the introduction of that proposed change (which I opted out of). Except that I am, as ever, still trying to moderate my own comments and behavior wherever possible so as to spare the mods any more work than necessary.

Also, if 500 people favorite this comment, I'll eat a bedbug. And film it.
posted to MetaTalk by hermitosis at 10:19 AM on November 1, 2010

Seems like an oversensitive person is someone with a point that makes the privleged person feel unpleasant sensations.
posted to MetaTalk by ShawnStruck at 6:32 AM on August 27, 2010

People, please stop. Can you not see the sympathy turning? That is what I most dreaded happening. You're making me feel I need to defend St. Alia too. How can we persuade people, if we can't treat people decently too?


Can we just stop this?

I mean, I am being criticized because I described my day.

For those of you who were at least... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by catchingsignals at 5:58 AM on August 2, 2010

Nope... I was wrong, I'm not sure anyone can beat (from vespabelle's link):

Don’t Make Me Go Back, Mommy: A child’s book about satanic ritual abuse and part 2
posted to MetaFilter by ennui.bz at 2:27 PM on July 23, 2010

What's funny is that Americans always go on about Australians having a "thin skin", but I ask them this: how many times have you, personally, set the dingoes to wake you at 4 in the morning, and then had to punch your way out of a crocodile-infested swag just to get down to the billabong to tip all the cane toads out of your billy and brew yourself up a cuppa before 4:15, which is when it goes from -10 degrees to 55 degrees instantly, and then you make the tea and... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by turgid dahlia at 2:08 AM on June 29, 2010

Also: do we really need ANOTHER article on how wrong the tea party is? Isn't it kinda obvious and now at this point boring?

It's almost like John Fogerty asking us to keep on chooglin'. DUDE, we're already chooglin'! Of course we're gonna keep on chooglin'!
posted to MetaFilter by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 1:51 PM on April 26, 2010

FUCK YOU. MIKE AND IKE ALSO MAKE HOT TAMALES, WHICH ARE LIKE A CINNAMON MIKE AND IKE. SOMETIMES I DON'T WANT THE FIERY HOT DELICIOUSNESS OF HOT TAMALES SO I GET MIKE AND IKES INSTEAD.
posted to MetaTalk by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 3:22 PM on April 16, 2010

I'll bet 5 favorites that branch wins. NOTHING CAN DEFEAT BRANCH!
posted to MetaFilter by Mister_A at 8:48 AM on March 1, 2010

I love it when people extrapolate the meaning of a 60 page article from one sentence.

It's great that you love it, but no one's doing that, Allan. Do I need to cite fifty sentences more? Tad's added several examples; there are many more.

Let's ignore the countless examples he uses of how the war was ill-planned chaos where so many died due to not doing the proper due diligence. I don't really see how you can call... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Dee Xtrovert at 3:56 AM on January 3, 2010

jessamyn [8:33]: gay elf sex means what?
*cortex [8:33]: Dragon Age
*cortex [8:33]: it's this new game
*cortex [8:34]: there's this elf
jessamyn [8:34]: okay
*cortex [8:34]: he's gay
jessamyn [8:34]: you can stop at this point
*cortex [8:34]: and you can totally have sex with him
jessamyn [8:34]: and by you
jessamyn [8:34]: you do not mean me
*cortex [8:34]: really, it's pretty... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by jessamyn at 5:35 PM on December 10, 2009

I think we should be able to favorite our own comments multiple times. I'm sick of having to have my sock puppets favorite my comments for me.
posted to MetaTalk by Astro Zombie at 8:32 PM on November 19, 2009

[AN ATTRACTIVE SUBURBAN HOUSE - DAY]

Realtor: And this is the master bedroom, which has an original fireplace and a recently-renovated bathroom, en suite.

Wife: I love it!

Husband: Pretty neat. I know I shouldn't say this, but I'm loving the house. It might be the one.

Wife: I'm so happy to hear you say that. I was thinking the same thing.

Realtor: And the kid... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by brain_drain at 8:40 AM on October 14, 2009

I am a practicing physician at Hyde County Hospital in North Carolina. This is a 100% true story that I am publishing in my church newsletter.

One day a woman came into the hospital for an abortion. She was nine months pregnant. I said "I can't give you an abortion" and she said that the Government passed a law that said I had to give her an abortion and that churches were being taxed to pay for it. She gave me the voucher. It said "Good for One (1)... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Optimus Chyme at 9:27 AM on October 14, 2009

today's Teabaggers will write tomorrow's history books?

You misspelled "burn."
posted to MetaFilter by zippy at 12:42 PM on September 23, 2009

And yet only 8378 favorites. Not that I'm counting.

Before entering the thread I thought, I bet Astro Zombie brings up his favorites again.

What do I win?
posted to MetaTalk by You Should See the Other Guy at 11:42 AM on September 15, 2009

Once again re-entering the cone of crazy against my better judgment.

There are a couple points I'd like to take issue with - the first being that you claim that removal of any parts other than the clitoris (in the female) or the glans (in the male) has no bearing upon the sexual function of the female or male. What exactly are you basing this claim on?

I'm not sure how you think I claimed this. I'm also not sure how it has... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by monocyte at 4:01 PM on August 26, 2009

This was also the big reveal at the end of The Little Engine That Could.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 6:53 PM on June 25, 2009

¿Quien es mas macho—Señor Lamas o Señor MEGA SHARK??
posted to MetaFilter by emelenjr at 8:46 AM on May 13, 2009

But I love favoriting your tossed-off one liners! They're the one-lineriest!
posted to MetaFilter by Miko at 11:15 AM on April 23, 2009

Astro Zombie's questions led to me picking up a pen and here's the result. Beware, the drawing is quite crap, but I'm posting it anyway so there.
posted to MetaTalk by soundofsuburbia at 9:46 AM on April 14, 2009

Fuck that noise. These people clearly have no clue what they are talking about. They've never listened to a single word Mr. Rogers said.

from the mentalFloss article about memorable commencement addresses:

Mr. Rogers was a regular on the graduation circuit. We chose his 1995 address at WVU because it was unlike so many “you can do whatever you want!” pep talks. He illustrated the message “wishing isn’t enough” through a story about... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Freen at 12:51 PM on April 6, 2009

My Mon and Dad ran a corner search engine back in the day. We used to help them out with searches after school and on the weekends, when things would get busy. We never complained, because that's what families did back then, they pitched in together and made it work. It was hard work, too, but it taught us a lot...mostly about porn.
posted to MetaFilter by mosk at 11:15 AM on February 26, 2009

Frankly, this is rude at best.

No it isn't. And a similar point was made above.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 8:07 AM on January 7, 2009

You're assuming they favorited it because it was a joke and not because they agreed with you.

I'm making no such assumption. Agreed with what? It was a one-word question. WTF?
posted to MetaTalk by exogenous at 12:08 PM on November 25, 2008

:-O=w=8
posted to MetaFilter by fleetmouse at 7:06 AM on October 30, 2008

You know, I think the next time I interview someone for a job, I'm just gonna cut to the chase and hit them with some random D&D trivia question. I want to hire a nerd, and only a nerd (like me) knows this stuff.

"OK, so the paladin in your party steals the orcish priest's gold necklace and..."
"Wait."
"What?"
"Paladins are lawful good. They wouldn't steal anything.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Cool Papa Bell at 12:06 PM on October 23, 2008

Don't treat John McCain like some inhuman asshole! He's as human as you and I! If you prick him, does he not crash a plane?
posted to MetaFilter by jamstigator at 3:02 PM on October 4, 2008

My fellow Americans, I want to take a few moments of your time to talk to you today about John McCain's decision to call timeout in his campaign.

I just want to say, I agree with his idea wholeheartedly. Wholeheartedly. (beat) It is, finally, a good step in the right direction -- a step that frankly I think we all wish would have happened, somehow, sooner.

If only he had called timeout when he was trying to gut the regulators in the 1980s.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by felix at 1:05 PM on September 24, 2008

Lana Turner has collapsed!
I was trotting along and suddenly
it started raining and snowing
and you said it was hailing
but hailing hits you on the head
hard so it was really snowing and
raining and I was in such a hurry
to meet you but the traffic
was acting exactly like the sky
and suddenly I see a headline
LANA TURNER HAS COLLAPSED!
there is no snow... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by stresstwig at 9:48 PM on September 9, 2008

Jeez, how many times I have rehearsed this post in my head. Well, full disclosure time:

I am a magpie.
posted to MetaFilter by everichon at 12:26 PM on August 20, 2008

Karadžić is responsible for so much of what happened to me.

My family and I were starved and cut off from electricity, gas, water, phone service and even things like wood with which we could have kept somewhat warm. My father, a funny, kind and literate man, and my mother, a vivacious woman who struggled during Communism and the war to see her children survive with the class and dignity of our family intact, were both reduced to shells of their former selves because... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Dee Xtrovert at 3:45 PM on July 21, 2008

This post is useless without dialogue.
posted to MetaFilter by weapons-grade pandemonium at 11:24 AM on June 11, 2008

If this comment gets 500 favorites, I will close languagehat's account.

That's how this thing works, right?
posted to MetaTalk by Parasite Unseen at 2:41 PM on April 16, 2008

After my parents were divorced in 1978, they set up a visitation schedule, as they lived in 2 different states. I was to spend 6 weeks every summer with my dad until age 18. That first summer, I felt awful. There was seemingly nothing to do, and my little brother was too young to be a companion that could help me through it.

Then, one day, my dad takes me around to the place of this new woman he's seeing. On her table is the blue box. While... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by thanotopsis at 1:26 PM on March 4, 2008

This comment should be popular.
posted to MetaFilter by Rhomboid at 6:43 AM on October 22, 2006

I've never listened to Rush Limbaugh, and I vote Democrat. I probably could come up with an adjective besides "liberal," but "liberal" works great.

For example, the other day I had to deal with some retard ranting about the private equity group "Haliburton." That's a clear case of acute liberalness. What else am I going to call it?
posted to MetaTalk by "Tex" Connor and the Wily Roundup Boys at 7:02 PM on December 27, 2007