The independent line appears to be building an Excitebike track.
posted to MetaFilter by Simon! at 6:14 PM on October 7, 2008

Please buy my new book, Dow 3,600.
posted to MetaFilter by snofoam at 7:25 AM on October 6, 2008

Why, there was a whole team of mavericks.

I think the collective noun is "a Dallas".
posted to MetaFilter by penduluum at 9:13 PM on October 2, 2008

It is an old maxim and a very sound one, that he that dances should always pay the fiddler. Now, sir, in the present case, if any gentlemen, whose money is a burden to them, choose to lead off a dance, I am decidedly opposed to the people’s money being used to pay the fiddler…all this to settle a question in which the people have no interest, and about which they care nothing. These capitalists generally act harmoniously, and in concert, to fleece the people, and now, that they have got into a... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Kirth Gerson at 11:13 AM on September 29, 2008

This is so bizarre. It's like a WWE stunt before the big match. P.O.W.-MAN WILL GRAB THIS METAL CHAIR OF ECONOMICS AND BEAT YOU WITH IT!!!! YOU ARE A WIMP, MR. HOPE!!! ARRRRGH!!!
posted to MetaFilter by Tehanu at 9:02 AM on September 26, 2008

Sarah and Todd Palin have five children: boys Track, 19, and Trig, 4 months, and daughters Bristol, 17, Willow, 13, and Piper, 7.

Dear GOD! Vice Presidents don't get to NAME anything, do they?!
posted to MetaFilter by ColdChef at 8:09 AM on August 29, 2008

I have been following this story since it broke via this thread. I have followed it rabidly over the past 72 hours.

Yeah, I'm glued to the Internet like my grandma watching Days of Our Lives. I'm all like, hush y'all, Bookhouse's stories are on.
posted to MetaFilter by Bookhouse at 10:54 AM on September 2, 2008

He wasn't planning budgets, etc when he was in the Senate.

What?

When you picture a Senate, what exactly do you see going on in there? Chimps riding unicycles?
posted to MetaFilter by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 9:10 PM on September 3, 2008

And I will donate ten trillion grillion dollars! To each candidate in every party! I'm writing the large cardboard checks right now.
posted to MetaFilter by ThePinkSuperhero at 5:18 PM on September 4, 2008

Jesus organized his community from the saddle of his brontosaurus.

It was a Raptor of some kind, and according to experts, "We don't know if Jesus ever rode them. But he probably did!"
posted to MetaFilter by clearly at 6:17 PM on September 4, 2008

*Illuminates thread by opening refrigerator door enroute to midnight snack

YOU GUYS ARE STILL HERE??
posted to MetaFilter by nudar at 12:02 AM on September 6, 2008

The story of 74487:

"Real isn't how you are made," said Thread 74487. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said Thread 74487, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Bookhouse at 8:20 AM on September 15, 2008

٩๏̯͡๏)۶
posted to MetaFilter by five fresh fish at 1:01 AM on September 23, 2008

(Actually, that seems to just be a cut/paste of the original - which I wasn't able to find online, so here's the text)

A tale of requited love

by Jack Winter/The New Yorker

It had been a rough day, so when I walked into the party I was very chalant, despite my efforts to appear gruntled and consolate.

I was furling my wieldy umbrella for the coat check when I saw her standing alone in a corner She... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by devbrain at 2:14 PM on September 22, 2008 marked best answer

Can you all persuade me that Obama would be better than Carter, for instance? Jimmy Carter had quite a lot to do with me deciding I didn't trust Democrats when it came to the White House.
posted by konolia at 7:58 PM on September 14

Here you go. The huge budget surpluses and economic growth under Clinton should have changed your mind, as well. Democrats focus on long-term economic solutions and cut taxes for the poor and middle class.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Optimus Chyme at 8:13 PM on September 14, 2008

I certainly know from observation his supporters do.

Which supporters? What have you observed? All supporters, or just a subset? Please give evidence for "Obama's supporters disdain people from small towns." I currently live in a small town. I'm a supporter.

I'm not claiming small town people are any better than big city people. The latter are certainly more...polished.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Miko at 12:50 PM on September 18, 2008

THE SETTING: Metafilter as a huge, ongoing party, with many different cliques intermingling. The group by the nachos passionately discusses Sarah Palin. Over by the Ice Sculpture of a recumbent bike, different people are showing off impressive photography and art-work they've come across. A small group smokes cloves around a back corner, whispering about underground comics. Inside, people pass a guitar around, sharing music, while another group hangs out at the poolside, bringing up questions... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Navelgazer at 5:26 PM on September 11, 2008

That analysis misses some of the most interesting differences between their web platforms.

Most prominently, Obama uses jQuery, while McCain seems to basically limit himself to hand-rolled Javascript. This honestly probably suggests that McCain's web developers are older; the reduced amount of Javascript on McCain's site may also be an indication that they expect their audience to be more likely to have older, slower computers (this is backed up by the observation... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by gsteff at 6:54 PM on September 9, 2008

One last thing. Someone on the McCain team has already anticipated the connection between Moses/Joshua and King/Obama. It's what was driving that weird ad from last month. People recognized the creepy messianic overtones and rightly saw it as a dogwhistle to the evangelical right. The use of Charlton Heston as Moses crossing the Red Sea was meant to inoculate evangelicals against recognizing in Obama the realization of Dr. King's legacy. Irresponsibly, the McCain campaign raised the imagery... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by felix betachat at 12:27 AM on August 29, 2008

............................................________
....................................,.-‘”...................``~.,
.............................,.-”...................................“-.,
.........................,/...............................................”:,
.....................,?......................................................\,
.................../...........................................................,... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by brownpau at 9:21 PM on August 28, 2008

It's an old family name.
posted to MetaTalk by HITLERTRON 5000 at 9:36 PM on August 26, 2008

A mustache is a smile's eyebrow.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 12:29 PM on August 26, 2008

That's the stupidest thing I have ever said.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 12:30 PM on August 26, 2008

I ain't never known of a lad of such spunk
As the alligator fighter, young Devin Funck
Who battled a beast way down in Slidell
And Devin lost his arm, but Devin lived to tell
That in the water of Crystal Lake, lurking below
Was a half ton monster by the name of Big Joe.
He was a 12-foot lizard from his teeth to his tail
And he was spoken of in whispers down in Slidell.
But Devin had no fear and Devin... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 4:22 PM on August 23, 2008

BURN THE PRESCRIPTIVIST!
posted to MetaTalk by Mister_A at 7:44 AM on August 14, 2008

The only thing that will save soccer is adding an extra ball to the field every six minutes.
posted to MetaFilter by ~ at 7:36 AM on August 5, 2008

If this is the kind of writer the Washington Post is hiring, I'm going to apply for a job there. Here's my rewrite of the article:

The sun fought its way though the clouds like a desperate Chinese man trying to get off a crowded bus, and golden droplets of light spattered the ground like warm liquid. The campers loved the mountain in a way only two men could, and the mountain loved them with a quiet and stoic fatherly silence, only murmuring with the sounds of running... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by optovox at 2:16 PM on July 9, 2008

I've always hated the Book of Job because I thought the lesson was ruined by letting Job get all his stuff back.

Then I read Jack Miles' interpretation of it in "God: A Biography" in which he demonstrates that the Bible's precedent for clever wordplay means that the ending cannot be taken at the face value it currently is.

For example, the RSV has Job recanting by saying:

"I know that thou canst do all... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by hermitosis at 6:05 AM on November 4, 2006

I would like to announce that I too have a new policy:

From now on, when anybody makes a reference to George Orwell or any of his works - no matter how instructive or aposite that reference is - I am going to unilaterally assume that they are referring to The Moon Under Water, his essay on what the perfect pub should be like. I will then proceed to engage in lengthy and heated argument with that person about ambience, range of guest ales, seating quality and generosity... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by flashboy at 5:34 AM on July 2, 2008

Here's a true story about how awesome Pixar is.

As some of you know, when the trailer first came out, my girlfriend, Courtney, burst into tears at the trailer. She was emabrrassed but somewhat amused by this, as so she made a video of herself watching the trailer on her computer, knowing she would start crying every time that little robot said his own name.

After a few months, she started to get trickles of emails from people at Pixar who said... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 12:18 PM on July 1, 2008

Hardware will eventually fail. Software will eventually work.
posted to MetaFilter by Clave at 12:45 PM on June 19, 2008

First they came for those who overused Martin Neimoller's poem. But I did not overuse Martin Neimoller's poem, so I did nothing.

In fact, truth be told, I was actually rather glad to see those fuckers get taken away.

Hopefully, next they'll come for the eponystericals.
posted to MetaFilter by PeterMcDermott at 7:54 PM on June 12, 2008

This Is Just To Say

I have taken
the Jews
Communists
and trade unionists
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast.

And Niemöller
you are
next
posted to MetaFilter by sixswitch at 9:18 PM on June 12, 2008

you just can't understand why I prosecutor wouldn't want to fight your idiotic battles for you

I prosecutor no cyan fight I&I battles for I, Mr. His Imperial Majesty Dr. Bumboclot Jamrock, seen?
posted to MetaFilter by DecemberBoy at 2:17 PM on June 14, 2008

I don't remember much about 5th grade, but I remember one thing. The school nurse came to our classroom and called our names one by one. She told us that because of some contamination, we had all contracted various fatal airborne diseases. She called my name, told me what ailment would take me to my grave in great detail, and then cooly went to the next person.

We cried and felt the shock of mortality. They said we could not leave the room to be with our families,... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Senator at 5:27 PM on June 12, 2008

Tonight is my 23rd wedding anniversary. The One and I have been amazingly incompatible for every single damn minute of every single damn day of every single one of those 23 years.

I hate to cook. She loves to cook. I like to sit and think. She likes to talk and socialize. I make a bunch of money. She keeps us out of the poorhouse. I speak English. She speaks some kind of confounding northern Michigan yooper dialect, eh? I'm kinda funny looking. She's beautiful.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by stubby phillips at 11:42 PM on June 14, 2008

You know what? Fuck retaining your childlike sense of wonder. You know why children have such strong imaginations? Because they're not allowed to do anything fun. You know why children are so good at inventing games? Because the real fun stuff in society is reserved for adults. When children play, what do they invariably pretend to be? Grown ups, because being a kid sucks.

I had corn dogs, chocolate cake and rum for breakfast yesterday. Then I went on a hike, and... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Parasite Unseen at 8:27 AM on May 27, 2008

I make somewhere between a quarter to half my income as a stage "mentalist" whose act somewhat resembles Derren Brown's--though not to his "magic handshake" level--so let me post a clarification, a bunch of caveats, and as much information as I can without making my colleagues mad at me.

(Paging The Deej! Hope me fellow magician!)

First, there are three very different forms of hypnosis being talked about... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Ian A.T. at 3:32 AM on May 12, 2008

What unites "lizards" is a general agreement that Western Enlightnment civilization, democracy, freedom of speech, capitalism, etc., for all their flaws, are better than the alternatives currently being pushed.

You might be surprised, GreggLD, to find that many MeFites, myself included, also believe that (generally) Western Civ is the bee's knees. I think that Saudi Arabia is a dreadful place, that Islamic fanaticism is way scarier than... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Optimus Chyme at 1:24 PM on May 18, 2008

With no native support for Macintosh, Google wins again when it comes to web software development.
posted by Brocktoon at 11:21 PM on May 12

If Mac users want this, they can ask Apple to code one for them. Its funny how in one sentence Microsoft is compared to Apple and Google, when those two companies can't be compared to each other in any way at all. Apple is non-existent on the internet aside from their web store, and google sucks at... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Pastabagel at 9:25 PM on May 12, 2008

Where's the line? Does this cross it?
posted by Asymptote

Stop that.
posted to MetaTalk by Armitage Shanks at 9:59 PM on April 28, 2008

Ignore nearly all of the previous advice in this thread, it's all wrong.

The most sensible drink for you to be drinking is straight bourbon, something mid-shelf like Maker's Mark. You'll order it "neat," meaning no ice, just plain old wonderful bourbon.

- You said you wanted something that won't get you drunk. Bourbon is perfect for that. Why? Because, unlike every other drink suggested in this thread, bourbon will... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by saladin at 10:37 AM on April 25, 2008

Here's your redesign.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:33 AM on April 25

Needs more bling.
posted to MetaTalk by Metroid Baby at 8:06 AM on April 25, 2008

My four year old son, through his fascination with Lego, has come to be a huge Star Wars fan, despite not being old enough to see the movie (After months of nagging me, I let him try to watch the movie once. He got to the part where the Jawas capture R2D2 and he turned to me and said "Daddy, this is for older kids.")

Because of this, he's decided that every decision he makes needs the approval of Luke Skywalker.

"Daddy, does Luke... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by cjets at 11:46 AM on April 9, 2008

This one is harder to quit than it is to play.
posted to MetaFilter by Fuzzy Skinner at 7:59 PM on March 29, 2008

Videogames are not good for you. Videogames are a waste of time. They isolate children. Kids never go outside to play. They just sit there and stare at the TV all day.

Hey kids! If you liked videogames, you'll love work!
posted to MetaFilter by Fiasco da Gama at 3:45 PM on March 30, 2008

Also: "The more I pondered it, the more I began to see that what doesn't work in theory may still work in reality."

I love this man.
posted to MetaFilter by flatluigi at 4:33 PM on March 13, 2008

In the world of Star Trek, technology has advanced to the point that nobody has to work, so people just do what they want all the time, and if that involves things that formerly would have been considered work, then that is just a coincidence. So if you want to be a poet, then that is your job and if you want to design holodeck apps, then you do that. It is all like whatevs. You just get your food from a replicator anyway. I think that the world is heading there now. I mean, you're at work right... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by ND¢ at 12:34 PM on March 11, 2008

We are just trying to get rid of these people and prevent them from coming to our town to solicit themselves for sex.

We're 85 comments deep already and nobody's really pointed out the sheer horror that this statement conveys.

We are just trying to get rid of these people

Do you know what "Christian" means? I've been amazed in my life how many people I've come across,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by allkindsoftime at 3:23 AM on March 4, 2008

If 500 people favorite this comment, I'll disable my account.
posted to MetaFilter by hermitosis at 3:54 PM on February 10, 2008