To the tune of "Mary had a little lamb"

Poster had a legal issue, legal issue, legal issue
Poster had a legal issue -- consult a lawyer now.
posted to Ask Metafilter by lockestockbarrel at 7:34 PM on September 17, 2008

This thread is still here? Sad, disgusting, but sadly not surprising. I expect it's keeping the mods on their toes, though.

You know, you might as well try to debate the merits of breathing air or a blend of helium and argon.

Every week I do standard med checks on folks with Down's. Not a one is anything but a dream as far as temperament and decency. Quite a few are in to their fifties and likely will make it into their sixties with simple,... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by docpops at 7:27 AM on September 16, 2008

Abortion is my litmus test, and I'm not ashamed of it.

Isn't that going to rather extreme lengths just to discover the Ph of a substance?
posted to MetaFilter by PeterMcDermott at 4:37 PM on September 4, 2008

Sorry, I meant to say I DON'T believe in abstinence.

I didn't believe in abstinence when I was 17, either. Unfortunately my lack of belief didn't make me any less abstinant.
posted to Ask Metafilter by pardonyou? at 2:25 PM on September 4, 2008

I change my dog's name every 3 months just to be on the safe side; yet ironically, that just seems to make my dog increasingly insecure.
posted to MetaFilter by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:46 PM on August 26, 2008

I think they have their causation a little mixed up here.

It's clearly the cows that determine the direction of the Earth's magnetic field.
posted to MetaFilter by Drexen at 3:11 AM on August 26, 2008

When I first read this, I wanted to know what your cultural background was. I totally identified with this question because I am Chinese too.

They were totally being nosy under the guise of doing some heavy labor for you. But aren't you used to this by now? Nearly everything my parents do for me is at a price.

"Let me bring you this giant bag of rice and these towels I bought for you because I know you like egyptian cotton and it was on... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by spec80 at 7:14 PM on August 22, 2008

Not particularly an original take on this event , nor a particularly surprising response from MeFites everywhere. Besides being a pastor, Rick Warren is also the author of the best selling hardcover book in history, a new kind of evangelical leader on AIDS and poverty, and the man some are calling the next Billy Graham. It's illogical to deny that he has influence among Americans at large and that he will be on the speed dial of the next President of the United States.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by l33tpolicywonk at 8:05 PM on August 20, 2008

My general feeling about leaving food out when you're drunk is that it doesn't really count, because the rules of time and physics only apply to sober people. I have thus eaten plenty of chicken and such that I've left out overnight, with no ill effects. In your position, I would eat the pasta.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Greg Nog at 4:57 AM on August 21, 2008

THESE FUNDS IN THE SUM OF $US9,533,200 (NINE MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THIRTY THREE THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED UNITED STATES DOLLARS) HAVE BEEN WRAPPED IN MAGAZINE PAPER AND PLACED IN THE SHOE DEPARTMENT OF THE CAMP WISDOM MERVYN STORE.

I think that was the plot to Jackie Brown.
posted to MetaFilter by kid ichorous at 5:42 PM on August 14, 2008

This is just to say

I dug up
the bones of William Carlos Williams
that were in
the boneyard

and which
you were probably
keeping there
out of reverence

Forgive me
I had a keen idea
for a macabe lounge chair
that had to be made real.
posted to MetaTalk by Lentrohamsanin at 12:53 PM on August 7, 2008

"This is how Canadians learn?"

Rarely is the question asked: "Is our Canadians learning?"
posted to MetaFilter by mr_crash_davis at 1:01 PM on July 30, 2008

Not enough Phlogiston Punk.
posted to MetaTalk by y2karl at 9:20 AM on July 24, 2008

Just to throw this out here: Any genetic theory that explains a minority's comparatively high educational attainment needs to be able to explain why African-Americans do so poorly in school and African Immigrants do so well—better than Asian-American students, statistically. I'm all ears.
posted to MetaFilter by Weebot at 7:55 PM on July 23, 2008

I used to love listening to my wife go round and round on the phone with the copyeditors at her last paper. One highlight was when they called her to inform her they were removing a reference to alchemy in the first paragraph, a somewhat important metaphor to open the article, because they figured the readers wouldn't get it and would run away screaming like frightened villagers. At this particular paper, writers battled daily with editors not to have their copy dumbed down.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by middleclasstool at 7:12 AM on July 24, 2008

Tom and Ray are absolutely great guys ... I'll agree with god-like. I've been very lucky to have had a couple of brushes with them. Well, lucky with one, and not with the other.

It started with a very unlucky incident where I, um, obliterated my wife's car by forgetting to put the parking brake on and forgetteing to put it into gear. It rolled out of our garage, down the driveway ... well ... my wife told it to Tom and Ray on CarTalk better than... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by scblackman at 6:15 PM on July 8, 2008

Here's a true story about how awesome Pixar is.

As some of you know, when the trailer first came out, my girlfriend, Courtney, burst into tears at the trailer. She was emabrrassed but somewhat amused by this, as so she made a video of herself watching the trailer on her computer, knowing she would start crying every time that little robot said his own name.

After a few months, she started to get trickles of emails from people at Pixar who said... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 12:18 PM on July 1, 2008

After a thorough investigation of the evidence (one YouTube video), this primatologist concludes that he's an ape. No tail plus knuckle-walking rules out all monkeys, and narrows down the field to chimps and gorillas.

I predict he'll reach sexual maturity and try to kill the Man in the Yellow Hat.
posted to Ask Metafilter by bergeycm at 6:13 PM on July 4, 2008 marked best answer

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE HAD A REAL MAJOR ACTUAL PUBLISHER????!!!?!





Shatner.
posted to MetaFilter by Mister_A at 11:12 AM on June 30, 2008

I've lost respect for all things related to England.

There are a bunch of angry Welshmen spitting consonants, pricing trips to your house and wondering whether they can carry their farm implements onto the plane.

GERALLT: Cefin, we'll staaab HuronBob with our muck forks, we will. 'Twill be lovely!

CEFIN: Caff cwmbyllt moddwn ddyffllddwff!
posted to MetaFilter by Mayor Curley at 10:02 AM on June 24, 2008

Like jeremias, I never knew this feature existed either.

We all furtively play "reordering the queue" in our family, so that at least one of us screams "you rotten bastard" when the new Netflix envelope is opened.

(I honestly thought everyone did this!)
posted to MetaFilter by Jody Tresidder at 5:46 AM on June 19, 2008

"So if the typical person today couldn't hack it in 1000 AD (I agree that we probably can't) What is the furthest back someone from today could go and have a fighting chance to make ends meet?"

Probably 1980, and only with a decent supply of weapons.
posted to MetaFilter by darkripper at 1:41 PM on June 11, 2008

I once received a resume that had the applicant's profession listed as "Gentleman Adventurer."

You better believe I called that guy in for an interview.

Turns out he wasn't a gentleman at all! And his adventure was just backpacking through Europe. Boo. I can take some exaggeration on a resume, but you better not conjure up mental images of monocle wearing men slashing their way through the darkest jungles in search of forgotten... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by robocop is bleeding at 11:55 AM on June 2, 2008

IF YOU VOTE DEMOCRAT THEN GAY MEN AND SLUTTY WOMEN WEARING SLEEVELESS TOPS WILL TOAST CHAMPAGNE AND DANCE QUIETLY IN PLACE DO YOU WANT THAT AMERICA?!?!?!?!?!?11/1//1/1//1
posted to MetaFilter by Avenger at 9:01 PM on May 24, 2008

This is either (a) a totally misguided discussion in which people are trying to bandaid over a complex problem or (b) a dishonest discussion in which people are using what's taught in school as a token to vent about other topics, e.g how stupid Christians/Atheists are.

The U.S.-public-school system is fundamentally broken. It's broken in more ways than I can list here. Sure, I'm an atheist who believes in Natural Selection. So I get "my way" and we start... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by grumblebee at 8:30 AM on May 20, 2008

Could you do it?

Sure. Why the hell would I want to? Our ancestors worked their asses off so we wouldn't have to live like hunter-gatherers. Thanks, ancestors!
posted to MetaFilter by Justinian at 12:42 PM on May 19, 2008

Years ago, when the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund was defending one of my books, I had dinner with Dave. I was pretty shell shocked at the time, and was on good behavior because I was dating someone new who was involved with the CBLDF and because Dave was funding a lot of the legal battles the CBLDF was fighting that year. (It was a rough year for comics.)

He never once looked me in the eye. Not once. He spent much time staring at my boobs...a phenomenon that... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by dejah420 at 8:15 PM on May 6, 2008

Unsurprising given the context of the "project": i.e., an omphalos of hypernerdery. Also unsurprising that the guy who came up with this sports an awful little beard. We should really be putting these people in camps.
posted to MetaFilter by nicolas léonard sadi carnot at 5:39 AM on April 23, 2008

So I was talking to one of my student employees who very much enjoys dressing the steampunk part (goggles, lace, etc. I've already preemptively nixed corsets as not being work appropriate) and asked her about her favorite Tim Powers book. She had no idea who I was talking about.

That made me sad, but hey, Powers wrote most of his most steampunkish stuff years before the student was born, so that could explain why she didn't know who he was. Fair enough. So I asked her... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by robocop is bleeding at 9:44 AM on April 23, 2008

Sirrah, I can but guess your present thoughts
Did he have time his musket to reload?
Forsooth, I have myself forgot if so.
But as this weapon has the strength to split
Your very head loose from its earthly frame
Then ponder, cur, your place in fortune's favor.
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 9:46 AM on April 20, 2008

Most of the places on SFGate's annual Bargain Bites roundup are small/hole in the wall spots. On that list, I really like Assab, Lahore Karahi, Moishe's Pippic, Saigon Sandwiches, and Turtle Tower. Skip Burma Superstar if you don't want to wait - that place has the most ridiculous lines of any place in SF.

Some other spots not on that SFGate list:
Cafe Zitouna - super tasty tajines with large portions. They also make a terrific b'stilla. If you've never had... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by junesix at 1:26 AM on April 19, 2008

What's a ****?

Four nudists looking for nickels...
posted to MetaTalk by Rumple at 4:04 PM on April 11, 2008

Just be thankful your kid isn't hanging out with a wealthy asian family that has the same tendency - then you start getting bottles of cognac, fruit baskets the size of fire hydrants, and every time they go over they'll get fed like it was some kind of dwarven banquet.

Just keep in mind that you are NOT expected to reciprocate, that there's no "gift gap" here and she's not taking score or anything. It is a little insulting if you outright refuse to receive... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by krippledkonscious at 1:58 PM on March 20, 2008

I'm gonna disable my account on good friday and come back on easter just to show you all how much I care.
posted to MetaTalk by kuujjuarapik at 2:37 PM on February 28, 2008

I would eat anything for love

But I won't eat that.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Kafkaesque at 5:47 PM on February 14, 2008

Pretty soon we'll have more flags than the damn UN.

MATHOWIE WHY ISN'T TIBET IN THE DROP-DOWN MENU

WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF
posted to MetaTalk by Greg Nog at 6:37 PM on February 12, 2008

Older generation:
- Ursula LeGuin (many classics like The Dispossed and Left Hand of Darkness; still prolific)
- Joanna Russ (70s angry feminist, brilliant but controversial; Female Man in particular)
- James Tiptree Jr (real name Alice Sheldon; many brilliant short stories)
- Kate Wilhelm (mostly I remember Where Late the Sweet Birds Sang)
- when I was young Andre Norton and Madeline l'Engle's books were important to... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by aught at 9:30 AM on February 8, 2008

I see nothing wrong with humans drawing female dragons with large breasts, nor do I see anything wrong with dragons drawing female humans with seductively shaped tails and headcrests.
posted to MetaFilter by Faint of Butt at 9:00 PM on February 3, 2008

I'm sure it's been mentioned before, probably in this post, but for me, ukelele covers begin and end with Jake Shimabukuro and "While My Guitar Gently Weeps".

Ignore if redundant.
posted to MetaFilter by supercres at 11:01 AM on January 31, 2008

Yea this is maybe a little too much weepy self-absorbed twenty-something "I just invented self-awareness yesterday" logorrhea for me.

[TOTALLY INELUCTABLY AND IRREVERSIBLY TWENTY-SOMETHINGIST}
posted to MetaTalk by Mister_A at 7:55 AM on January 29, 2008

This is the weirdest part of that post:

I've had dark moments since then. Days when I've been afraid to speak, days when I've been afraid to write the truth and instead just talk about something less pressing. And each one of those days is a failure, I think. It's not easy. It's hard. I could lose my job, I could lose my friends. I could even end up beaten. I could be in jail or worse, so it's not easy by any stretch of the imagination, and some days - most... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by creasy boy at 8:37 AM on January 29, 2008

Here is the thing about personal responsibility. You wouldn't say to a four year old "Sorry, you signed that piece of paper, now you have to be responsible for what it said." But you think that you can do it for some of these people who signed these mortgages? There is this fallacy that we base a lot of our philosophy as a nation on (like this whole democracy thing) that everyone is equal. Guess what? Big shocker coming. Spoiler alert. We're not. 60% of this country are sub-literate... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by ND¢ at 8:47 AM on January 25, 2008

I said I needed to know the best city to sell a baby. God, you are useless.
posted to MetaFilter by XQUZYPHYR at 7:43 AM on January 23, 2008

You said counter-programming a bunch, but I think you're just talking about programming.
posted to Ask Metafilter by apetpsychic at 2:03 AM on December 31, 2007

That was the AskMe version of "My penis is so big that it's uncomfortable to ride a bicycle. What other problems will my big penis and I encounter?"
posted to MetaTalk by mullacc at 2:21 PM on December 18, 2007

And what the hell is wrong with fedoras?

Nothing, so long as your name is Frank, Indiana, or Humphrey.
posted to MetaTalk by The World Famous at 3:08 PM on December 18, 2007

I have a natural accent - I am often thought to be either British or Eastern European (having lived in both places), despite being born and raised in the States.

Some day you will look back on that and cringe. I hope.

Frankly, anonymous guy, I feel like you're the end product of way too much cheesy internet porn.

There's a dense mythology of men telling other men that there are lots and lots of girls... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by thehmsbeagle at 1:39 PM on December 18, 2007

Pinstripes? Fedora? Life of the party on the dance floor? Sex parties? Creeping out women in public?

Aside from the fake accent, it sounds like you're The Joker. And who knows? With Heath Ledger in the upcoming role, The Joker might have that, too.

Seriously, your whole style is wrong, from your clothes to your mannerisms to your approach to your writing style. Stop trying so hard to be a caricature of what you imagine to be a cultivated,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by The World Famous at 2:07 PM on December 18, 2007

That depression article also seriously misses a big reason why many adoptees are likely to be depressed: mentally ill, addicted and otherwise depression-prone parents are more likely to give their children up for adoption or to be forced to do so.

It is ridiculous to think there is an alternative to adoption other than abortion early in pregnancy. We know that there really is no way to help unwanted infants other than adoption.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Maias at 3:59 PM on December 11, 2007

It's a phase, and eventually it'll pass. I mean, I rarely use 'Where's the Beef?' anymore, and that only took what, 20 years?
posted to MetaTalk by pupdog at 5:33 PM on November 25, 2007