Fucking yuck to that.

I will still continue to eat everything from the sea however, because that's where god hid all the delicious shit. I will just continue to pretend that the worms, boogers, filth and botulism are only in other peoples food.
posted to MetaFilter by Divine_Wino at 8:12 AM on October 2, 2008

When you prepare unicorn, all you do is sprinkle gryphon urea on the meat and bury it in a mushroom circle for 3 days. Never had a worm.
posted to MetaFilter by everichon at 11:12 AM on October 2, 2008

Some of you have the heart of a slumlord.
posted to MetaFilter by nola at 7:53 PM on September 28, 2008

Here's a story of a person who set out on an adventure for an extended period of time and felt that the experience really was worth it.

2 years ago I was your average successful young adult. Lived in NYC, had a great apartment, great friends, volunteering with the youth group at my church, dating occasionally, traveling all the time for work - but mostly domestically, and always home Thursday nights through Monday mornings. I was making my promotions,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by allkindsoftime at 10:42 AM on June 25, 2008 marked best answer

I've been on two 1+ year trips. I have an Eagle Creek 22" carry-on that doubles as a backpack. Here's a shocker, though: in 2 years and 22 countries (incl NZ twice), I've only used the backpack straps/waist belt a half dozen times. Stick with a rolling bag.

Get Eagle Creek. They'll repair it no matter what happens to it. My wheels were sawn off in Guatemala (don't ask) and I mailed it to them at their expense and they had it back to me in a week, free of charge.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by arnicae at 2:39 PM on July 22, 2008

I love it when AskMe reminds me of how nuts some people are. Unless you are one of those guys who pees all over the toilet, what exactly do you think is happening to books in the bathroom? People pick them up with the hands that have been touching everything else you touch, put them down before wiping, and then either leave them or pick them up again after washing their hands. If they don't wash their hands, then they are touching everything in their apartment with filthy hands anyway. You can't... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by dame at 4:18 PM on September 22, 2008

Is there a difference between "discover your passion" and "discover what you want to do"?

I ask because I hear people talk about their Passion (with a capital P), as if everyone has one whether they know it or not. As it it's a special glowing ball inside each of us. Yet I see no evidence that this ball necessarily exists.

To me, it's more likely that we have things we like and things we dislike. A like becomes a passion when... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 12:22 PM on September 4, 2008

It is 1:46 and Corey Doctorow just spooged all over your giant steampunk insect clock.
posted to MetaFilter by The Bellman at 10:47 AM on September 19, 2008

Come on. It's totally conceivable that he had something going on that he didn't want to share with you that WAS NOT cheating -- such as volunteer work he doesn't want to be ostentatious about, or a minor inpatient procedure done that he didn't want you to worry over.

Kidding. DTMFA.
posted to Ask Metafilter by stupidsexyFlanders at 11:01 AM on September 18, 2008

Q: Have you tried winning over the object of your affection with DELICIOUS BACON?

If "NO," please try DELICIOUS BACON first before posting your question to AskMe.

If "YES," then he/she is obviously immune to DELICIOUS BACON'S charms. You should feel free to DTMFA.
posted to MetaTalk by scody at 7:31 PM on September 17, 2008

I think you should get a real hamster ball. With a hamster in it. Excellent exercise for the cat.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Foam Pants at 1:10 PM on September 16, 2008 marked best answer

to the men who think that pro-choice women go wantonly aborting every cystoblast or fetus just because we can,

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

you don't have a womb? you can't carry a child to term? you want to smear your pious bullshit on women? FUCK YOU!

i am rabidly pro-choice and an avowed feminist. yet after the alpha-fetoprotein test came back in 1997 saying that my child had a high probability of having Down Syndrome and after... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by liza at 6:38 AM on September 16, 2008

Make a scarecrow and set it up to stare at the toilet. Rig a motion detector so when it sees movement it plays a very creepy voice saying "I see youuuu doing number twoooooo". If your neighbor is a shy pooper they'll get so backed up that after a few days they'll invest in some blinds.

Or, knock on the door, tell them you have "accidentally" seen their private moments in the bathroom and they may want to do something about it. Next stop, research... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by wavering at 2:52 PM on September 13, 2008

Ed Hardy and Sailor Jerry tattoo t-shirts and accessories.
Hooded sweatshirts with all-over printed motifs.
Wearing skirts and dresses over pants.
Pastel colored terrycloth Juicy Couture sweat suits worn in public.
Flip flops worn in public, with or without the annoying shuffling walk.
Ironic or faux vintage t-shirts from American Eagle or Target.
Jeans with too long hems that drag on the ground and become all straggly.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by pluckysparrow at 6:42 PM on September 11, 2008

Sorry for the absurd length of this list, but I really couldn't narrow it down past 50 (professional hazard).

These are my top indie/foreign/art house/non-blockbuster films from the 1990s (in alphabetical order):

A Life Less Ordinary
A Simple Plan
American History X
Basquiat
Being John Malkovich
Bound
Breakfast of Champions
Bringing Out the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by tinatiga at 3:10 PM on September 10, 2008

If you don't like it, or end up with a partner who doesn't, you can always take it out. I don't see why you shouldn't explore in the meantime, it doesn't require a major investment of time or money.

I take a lot of shit from my friends for my personal sense of style, but people I wind up getting to know or being intimate with don't seem to mind. I've found that not giving a shit about what other people think tends to attract the right kind of people.
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 2:43 PM on September 7, 2008

I hope you don't take offense that I use my turn signals even when there's no other cars around.
posted to Ask Metafilter by churl at 8:57 PM on September 6, 2008

Or Guelph, or Toronto, or...well, basically anywhere but Windsor, where an archaic bylaw allows vigilantes to shoot dancers with crossbows.
posted to MetaFilter by Schlimmbesserung at 10:44 PM on September 5, 2008

Man, I'm in BC and I see this kind of thing all the time. Went shopping today, had to push my cart around two hip-hoppers, a mime, and a lost relic of the 60s who was flapping around the natural foods aisle. Greenscreen? I wish!
posted to MetaFilter by CCBC at 12:46 AM on September 6, 2008

That's why I only pay with plastic these days...
posted to MetaFilter by zwemer at 5:28 AM on September 6, 2008

The Ladder Theory is complete bunk.

I can't think of any general topic of conversation that would make me permanently uninterested in someone. The deciding factor is what you say in that conversation.

We can talk about abortion, but if you think it's a mortal sin I'm probably not going to sleep with you.
We can talk about personal hygiene, but if you confess yours is horrendous, I'm probably not going to sleep with you.
We... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by hippugeek at 8:29 AM on September 5, 2008

Not having a TV probably pushes me a lot farther along toward extremes of opinion in areas where I already diverge considerably from cultural norms. Not being constantly re-connected to cultural touchstones definitely can set one adrift.
posted to MetaFilter by BrotherCaine at 6:56 PM on September 4, 2008

Soap breaks up oils and helps remove dirt (which is usally oil covered). It entices the oil into the water. This is why we use it. The only other way to get the oils and dirt out is to rub with a fair amount of effort for at least 30 or so seconds.

Just watering your hands is probably just a waste of time, unless you take some real efforts to rub the oils out as much as you can. The big advantage with soap is that you dont need to rub so hard and it does a better job... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by damn dirty ape at 8:15 AM on September 3, 2008

Tell them you've traveled recently to Central America.

Tell them you've got the hiv.

Tell them that it grosses you out.

Tell them you don't give nothing away for free.

Tell them it arouses you too much.

Tell them you were created in the image of God and that any incursion or deletion of your precious bodily fluids is an affront to the Almighty.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by wfrgms at 12:30 AM on August 26, 2008

As usual, I agree with box. No really, it's scary how often I agree with box.

Know what's sexy? It's the smell of a man that's confident in himself, and who doesn't EVER think about what a "sexy man's apartment" smells like. You're skirting dangerously close to The Ladies' Man or Fedora Guy here. Stop thinking of ways to add scent to your apartment, and live your life and let the smells of you living your life be part of it. Clean smells great. Everything else... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by iconomy at 6:44 AM on August 22, 2008

I personally go fo the smelling of sizzling bacon in the morning. Now that's sexy!
posted to Ask Metafilter by kidsleepy at 6:45 AM on August 22, 2008

100 years ago you could also get a bottle of Laudanum at the general store for a nickel.
posted to MetaFilter by destro at 9:02 AM on August 22, 2008

I guess Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus! LOL!

The problem is that the women quoted in the article, who are quite obviously insufferable hens, confuse men's conversation filters with being boring. But these women would never want to have the conversation that would ensue if men simply said what was on their minds. For example:

F: My God, you're so boring!

M: What?

F: Boring! You... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Pastabagel at 8:21 AM on June 19, 2008

None of those reasons had anything to do with dating the unicorn.

Top 10 Reasons it Would Rule to Date a Unicorn:

10) Less small talk
9) You know it's not cheating on you, 'cause all it's friends are virgins
8) Requests to ride bareback not automatically rejected
7) Never have to drive
6) You can always get some tail
5) Can't really judge you on... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:20 PM on August 4, 2008

And actually, one can even see this lack of foresight in lesser kinks--branding, piercing, and tattooing, for example. Those who have a fetish for having hunks of their skin burned off and permanently scarred are focused on the pain and other physical sensations, and less on the long-term ramifications of what that kind of damage to your body will do, how you handle it socially, etc. Yes, part of it is reliving the experience, but I have been told by some people in the bodymod community that... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by dirtynumbangelboy at 2:57 PM on August 4, 2008

I died 3 times on July 6 2004. A bunch of heart attacks, legacy from my maternal genetic material. I was in great shape -- bike rider, swimmer, fair diet. This thing came out of nowhere.

Amazingly, outlandishly, the people here at Brackenridge hospital were willing and able to work long enough to get me back each time I checked out. My cardiologist put in a stent and resolved the problem, but I was so traumatized by being dead so long that first time that I kept on... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by dancestoblue at 10:57 PM on August 2, 2008

Cuil? More like Cul.
posted to MetaFilter by Lentrohamsanin at 9:09 AM on July 28, 2008

Here's the thing. There were really three components to this situation:Human with working uterus has baby. This is not newsBiological female identifies personally as male and decides to make this identification legal and binding. This is not news, although certainly "newer" than uteri making babies.Human self-identifying as male, but carrying all of the aparratus of a female, makes a decision to carry a child.The last one is really nuanced, and... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Deathalicious at 11:35 PM on July 26, 2008

I am reminded of the unfortunate case of Encyclopedia Brown v. Henry and Doris Brown. Tragic, really.
posted to MetaFilter by yhbc at 9:16 AM on July 24, 2008

I just got out of a two-year monogamous relationship that came close on the heels of a five-year monogamous relationship. I'm single, and I'm happier than I've been in a long, long time.

Not everyone is meant to be partnered, and I've come to realize that I have neither the skill nor the desire to be someone's boyfriend. Being single might not be for everyone, but if you're the sort of person who thrives on it, you will do no favors to yourself or the people around you... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Parasite Unseen at 9:08 AM on July 22, 2008

When you play against someone you want oral sex from in the near future, it's all about playing with style and not about being a point-obsessed douchebag. "ten pounds of inedita"'s advice on tactics is very good. Also remember to play cool long words whenever possible, even if a dull play would score slightly higher. It looks good and opens up the board, which makes the game flow better. Don't be obstructive and block the triples because it makes you no fun to play. If you follow... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by w0mbat at 8:16 PM on July 20, 2008

How is babby deformed?
posted to MetaFilter by Tube at 11:17 AM on July 19, 2008

It seems like the biggest problem people here seem to have with this is Moe's seemingly flippant attitude towards her date rape. I think it's pretty obvious that when she said she didn't press charges because she had better things to do, like drink, that was a joke. It was her rape. She's allowed to joke about it. And she's also allowed to NOT press charges for ANY REASON AT ALL. I was a court witness when a friend pressed charges against her rapist when we were seventeen. The defense attorney... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by F.Jasmine Addams at 2:20 AM on July 7, 2008

cunning stunt

Thank you for introducing me to that excellent spoonerism.
posted to MetaFilter by sixswitch at 9:24 AM on June 24, 2008

She mentioned just going to my place to chill.

She's lying to you. She wants to see your place for two reasons: one, she wants to see how you live, and two, she may want to mount you. It's part of the courting process that no woman will own up to, but everyone of them does it.

You're missing the point of this little exercise and focusing on the end rather than the process. Your abode should reflect your interests, your... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by wfrgms at 8:53 AM on June 20, 2008

start counting how many other people like you are going shirtless. You're thinking it's a low number. It's a very high number. You need to get out of your head a bit on this issue and focus on the facts.

As for your living a sedimentary lifestyle, I would not take my health for granite if I were you.
posted to Ask Metafilter by stupidsexyFlanders at 10:56 AM on June 9, 2008

Ragma: ""I feel sorry for those who are atheists. Rather than being smarter, atheism reflects a poverty of thought, and a lack of appreciation of the universe, including of love and evil."

That is pure gold. Who didn't laugh? Show of hands?"

I didn't. I am an atheist, and as such I lack the capacity for laughter that only the born-again enjoy.

"Ha".... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Rhaomi at 4:41 PM on May 28, 2008

Furniture tends to last a lot longer than many friendships.
posted to Ask Metafilter by spilon at 12:44 PM on May 27, 2008

Four linguists were sharing a compartment on a train on their way to an international conference on sound symbolism. One was English, one Spanish, one French and the fourth German. They got into a discussion on whose language was the most eloquent and euphonious.

The English linguist said: "Why, English is the most eloquent language. Take for instance the word "butterfly". Butterfly, butterfly... doesn't that word so beautifully express the way this... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by burnmp3s at 9:08 AM on May 20, 2008

Untenable situation, short-term, not particularly consequential, and a whole bunch of unremarkable but not particularly nice people around.

It's the perfect situation for absurdity.

Seriously, this job will have little or no impact on your future, so why not approach it with a sufficient quantity of insanity to match its inanity? Being normal in this situation is going to make you crazy; it's time for a pre-emptive strike.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by MrVisible at 12:45 PM on May 15, 2008 marked best answer

I just closed my eBay store after 2+ years. Mostly because I'm working full time now and the time invested in eBay was no longer worth the money I was making off it, but also because it's terrible and getting worse.

This thread seems to be more about scammers than anything else, but they consistently raise and raise and raise all kinds of fees (Monthly store fees! Listing Fees! Final Value Fees! Paypal fees! Paypal withdrawal fees! Let's not forget the terrible exchange... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by yellowbinder at 7:24 AM on May 9, 2008

I live back and forth between Canada and the States (and have my whole life). Finally a question that I am an expert on! I've been conducting unofficial cross-border gifting for my entire life.

Here's what I've brought from Canada (both requested and just fun things I've done):

- Kinder Eggs (you *can* get them in the States in import shops for an outrageous price, but they are banned by the FDA because they have non-food plastic toys inside.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by SassHat at 5:30 PM on May 2, 2008

The bottom line is: Anything but my car!
posted to MetaFilter by kindalike at 7:30 AM on May 1, 2008

I am shocked. Commas are grammar's sperms and I feel like my profile has been jizzed upon mightily.

That is to say, awesome.
posted to MetaTalk by robocop is bleeding at 2:00 PM on April 30, 2008

A badger hair brush is all right, for the pikers and fifteen year olds who are cultivating that "did I just have some chocolate milk or is it a mustache look", real men rip the head off the badger (preferably Mauritanian NOT the ones from Brussels, which are actually a kind of non-swimming water rat, think Nutria but unable to swim or even float) and lather that up with some Vendigliani Otrusco, which is a Sicilian emollientie di priapari (lit. boner cream). By all means use an English... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by leotrotsky at 6:12 PM on April 28, 2008