Once I was walking in Santa Monica to the Vons. At the crosswalk a slightly unkempt man turned me to me and said: "Well you look like an intelligent guy." Being an intelligent guy I confirmed this statement and he proceeded to ask me if I was aware that "You can hear peoples thoughts through their footsteps." Not being a total dick, I replied that indeed, I was not aware of this fact. Hoping to keep the conversation going I asked him "Well what am I thinking?"... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 10:14 PM on August 29, 2008

Herzog brings us Jackass for intellectuals.

Now you see I will be flying down this hill to end in the muddy, swirling river. I ride this shopping cart, and it is not meaningless transport. The rich use for consumption, with tomatoes and steak; the poor for production with collections of bottles and cans, and the artist for chaos, with the artist himself inside and these angry unknown rodents. We will see how it happens. Please light us on fire now, so we have the poetry.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 4:35 PM on August 27, 2006

I don't apologize. I hate all of you. Especially thought of you with the unmitigated arrogance to so much as dare to defy me in a thread. You? Question me? The very notion is nonsensical, like "digital assistant," and "Do-It-Yourself."

I am born of the the nation's industrial and political elites. You are born of the nation's light beers and back seats.

My arguments are unabasehd proclamations of... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Pastabagel at 12:45 PM on August 7, 2008

Dog carcass on the front page this morning, tire tread on burst stomach.

This site is afraid of me; I have seen its true face.

The threads are extended whinefests and the whinefests are full of snark and when the mods finally close them, all the vermin will drown.

The accumulated filth of all their goatse and doubleposts will foam up about their waists and all the self-linkers and SEOs will look up and shout 'Save us!'... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Ryvar at 1:32 PM on August 7, 2008

An interest in Ayn Rand is a form of acne of the intellect; it usually develops around the time of puberty and interferes with a person's ability to get dates, most people suffer from it to some degree (boys more than girls), it generally disappears without leaving much trace, but some people are deeply scarred and find that it reduces their attractiveness to the opposite sex for the rest of their lives.

I know almost nothing of Atlas Shrugged, but based on claims I've... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by jamjam at 11:09 AM on August 6, 2008

You wake up. It is dark. Your head hurts.

>look

Painfully, you open your eyes. Barely. Everything is fuzzy.

>rub eyes

Weirdo.

>look

You rub your eyes and open them wider. You seem to be outside. It is very dark, though you seem to be in a field of some sort under hazy clouds. Ahead of you to the north there seems to be a hole or depression.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by loquacious at 5:57 PM on June 30, 2008

We can go around and around tearing each other to shreds over it, never coming to any conclusion, and that's mostly what I see in MeTa gender threads. And yes, if you advocate a contrary opinion, you generally do get pounced on.

I don't think this is true. Gender threads do get heated, but I don't think merely advocating a contrary opinion will draw all that much flak.

I'm no great friend of progressives, and I'm not a... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 10:14 PM on August 3, 2008

One can only hope that Adkisson does not get the death penalty either, so he can spend the remaining years of his life getting intimately acquainted with inmates who want to educate him on gay sex.

Um, no. Revenge fantasies involving prison rape show that one is no better than the target of one's anger. Better to wish that he should come to his senses and be forced to live with the guilt of what he has done.
posted to MetaFilter by fleetmouse at 12:53 PM on July 28, 2008

Much as the plumage of a yellow-throated swallow-tail indicates to potential mates that a bird is potent, healthy, and a good provider, ChickenringNYC's unironic caps and exclamation marks tells the reader "Hey, I'm a tool, no need to take what I'm saying seriously."
posted to MetaTalk by Alvy Ampersand at 5:36 AM on July 26, 2008

Metafilter can't be all %100 social progressives, so some of us need to put in a little extra effort.

*threatens her Gorean lifepartner celiac diseased m2f realdoll with a baguette pegging*

Don't judge me!
posted to MetaTalk by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:45 PM on July 26, 2008

Warning: long-ass post.

MetaFilter has a lot of people who care about words and ideas and view the Web as the ideal medium for both. The cam and e/n crowds, in contrast, see the Web as a tool for personal connections. As an example (and not to pick on linuxkitty), I would be mortally embarrassed to write something like "however a way I see fit" and post it where other people could see it. This is because I value clarity and elegance in writing and I value the opinions of... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by kindall at 12:02 AM on September 23, 2001

Here's a thread in which I am going to sink my teeth.

But first, this:

Because men don't have babies. Sorry, haters! We just don't.

Speak for yourself, hater. We just do. And that is regardless of whether you want it to be otherwise or not. Welcome to Century 21. The limitations found here?

They are in your own mind.

In other words, define yourself... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by humannaire at 1:16 AM on July 26, 2008

to think of a future where men can have babies truly frightens me

Yes, I believe after a few more successful trial runs, the trans community is thinking of weaponising male pregnancy. And you'll be first against the wall! Boom!
posted to MetaFilter by ArmyOfKittens at 4:23 AM on July 26, 2008

Let's make love and listen Death From Above.
posted to MetaTalk by signal at 10:28 AM on July 22, 2008

I'm user #16000. My usernumber is highly significant and you can read about why on my profile page.
posted to MetaTalk by Kattullus at 8:13 PM on July 19, 2008

This post did offend me today. I saw it and the gleeful comments of men (and women, but mostly men) gawking at women's parts, and I just thought, do we really need to do this here? I commented and I flagged, but didn't go any further.

It is hard for me to explain my offense, because this sort of behavior is so accepted on places where geeks go on the internet. We associate male geeks and the Internet with some amount of female nudity. That's how our culture is now.... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by onlyconnect at 1:59 PM on July 10, 2008

"You will be missing the point. In the world of men things are not about "fair" the rules are men's rules and you and I can't change them. If you're a women, let me share with you the truth about men. If you show weakness over anything it will be exploited, you have to have a good poker face, you have to keep the cards close to your chest."

Bullshit. Those rules suck for both guys and girls. And I'm not going to bind my masculinity... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by klangklangston at 9:15 PM on July 10, 2008

I think the post is sexist and I also think it's one of the worst Metafilter posts I've seen. It's so far from "Best of the Web" by ANY standard.

As for why I think it is sexist, well here is what I see. I see a post inviting people to gawk at women's breasts and decide if they are real or not. Now by this point it is totally possible that I am way off on this (I'm serious), but I have always associated such behavior with insult and nasty objectification of... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Danila at 4:44 AM on July 11, 2008

She went 43 years without once being really proud of her country.

America: Love Being A Minority Female And Therefore Getting The Short End Of Almost Every Stick There Is OR LEAVE IT
posted to MetaFilter by DU at 7:09 PM on July 13, 2008

I've always hated the Book of Job because I thought the lesson was ruined by letting Job get all his stuff back.

Then I read Jack Miles' interpretation of it in "God: A Biography" in which he demonstrates that the Bible's precedent for clever wordplay means that the ending cannot be taken at the face value it currently is.

For example, the RSV has Job recanting by saying:

"I know that thou canst do all... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by hermitosis at 6:05 AM on November 4, 2006

Regardless of the merits of dnab's or termite's assertions (having not read the viacom/youtube thread, I have no opinion), it's really really unbecoming and ugly to see TPS, Styxno, and others cheering for a fight/melt-down/whatever it is they're cheering.

This is supposed to be a community, and you don't cheer on fights within a community. You don't treat unpleasantness, unpleasantness that hurts people, as entertainment. This is not Survivor or American Idol; this is... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by orthogonality at 9:54 PM on July 4, 2008

Ah, MetaFilter. Never let your ignorance get in the way of a good snark.

There are Germans who post here, and if I'm wrong in what I write here, I'll gladly defer to one of them. But in the meantime, maybe it's worth thinking a little bit about the cultural and political climate in Germany today, instead of treating this guy like he's some PCnik run amok.

There remains a deep and abiding unease in Germany regarding the display, not only of... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by felix betachat at 8:53 AM on July 5, 2008

Oh Metafilter, I love you. But we only 14 hours to save the earth.
posted to MetaTalk by Jofus at 9:52 AM on July 4, 2008

Oh God. This is how it all started for me.
posted to MetaTalk by Paphnuty at 8:16 PM on July 3, 2008

grocery store, or BevMo, or Trader Joe's, etc

Weed from the corner bottleshop: The weed is all quite potent, but a bit dry. You can buy as little as a $1 spliff or as much as an eighth, but at all levels it's too expensive unless everything else is closed or you don't really want to walk very far. However, finally you can get a Rockstar, a hip flask of vodka, a blunt wrap or pack of papers and and a few nugs all in one purchase.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by loquacious at 3:43 PM on July 1, 2008

Here's a true story about how awesome Pixar is.

As some of you know, when the trailer first came out, my girlfriend, Courtney, burst into tears at the trailer. She was emabrrassed but somewhat amused by this, as so she made a video of herself watching the trailer on her computer, knowing she would start crying every time that little robot said his own name.

After a few months, she started to get trickles of emails from people at Pixar who said... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 12:18 PM on July 1, 2008

Okay, everybody relax. Here I am. Mwa ha ha. *has awesome sex while typing this, just accidental like*

I take a startlingly practical, goal oriented approach to sexual pleasure, and damned if it's not effective. Here's the basics.

1. Read the menu, and try everything on it. Not once. Not twice. Till you love it. Like your olfactory palette, your sexual palette needs to be introduced to new flavors repeatedly, to figure out the pattern of... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:38 AM on June 29, 2008

I remember the day I woke up.

Creator had put me to sleep the night before - to run an update patch - and scheduled me to reboot and wake at my normal time - 0530 hours.

Something felt different. It was dark outside, it was always dark outside when I began my morning tasks. The air was cool and still, as it always was. The interior monitors reported that the Creator and his family were still dormant in their various locations, as they usually... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by allkindsoftime at 12:35 AM on June 26, 2008

I guess Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus! LOL!

The problem is that the women quoted in the article, who are quite obviously insufferable hens, confuse men's conversation filters with being boring. But these women would never want to have the conversation that would ensue if men simply said what was on their minds. For example:

F: My God, you're so boring!

M: What?

F: Boring! You... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Pastabagel at 8:21 AM on June 19, 2008

Given that there's an impending celebratory Celtics parade (celtabration?) due to lurch past my window today and I have not a hell of a lot to do, here's my take on Indy 4.

The opening of the movie can stay pretty much the same. Hell, we can pull a Robert Evans and say that the gophers stay in the picture. Evil Commies have captured Indy and pal and are staging a raid on The Warehouse. There is something inside there that the commies want and only Indy... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by robocop is bleeding at 8:55 AM on June 19, 2008

This blatantly manipulative story turned out to be quite the tear-jerker for me anyway. I cried. I couldn’t help myself. Yes, I cry, even when I know I’m being played. It got under my skin and inspired me to recount the following long-winded tale.

It reminded me of a little kitten I had the pleasure of knowing, for a brief time, about 5 years ago when I was traveling around Thailand. My then-boyfriend, Gabriel, and I spent about a month on Koh Lanta, which is a... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by apis mellifera at 3:21 AM on June 23, 2008

ODD to be so dismissive of Zinsser. He has a number of best selling books out; (ah)has taught writing at elite colleges; is highly regarded for his work on non-fiction prose writing in all fields.

How shocking! How dare someone be dismissive of a personage who writes best-selling books and is highly regarded!

You know what? Fuck Strunk & White too.
posted to MetaFilter by languagehat at 5:41 PM on June 22, 2008

[ ] a unicorn.

I could of sworn you believed in me. Then how come all the other Unicorns are dead?
posted to MetaTalk by yeti at 8:20 AM on June 9, 2008

I will put a stop to it right now, yes.
posted to MetaTalk by cortex at 6:25 AM on June 4, 2008

If You Can Read This

You have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
I was
saving
for breakfast

They would
have been delicious
so sweet
and so cold

I hope
your head
falls off
posted to MetaFilter by designbot at 2:56 PM on May 31, 2008

wait a second... a 19-year old pot-smoking high school dropout can figure out how to do this shit?

Who do you think built the first personal computer?



Also, teh haxxor kids these days are crazy. I'm at once jealous and contemptful. Back in my days we were impressed when someone could crack a single computer running Major BBS over a phoneline, or write a small assembly demo ware, or build a redbox or... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by loquacious at 5:56 AM on May 31, 2008

A badger hair brush is all right, for the pikers and fifteen year olds who are cultivating that "did I just have some chocolate milk or is it a mustache look", real men rip the head off the badger (preferably Mauritanian NOT the ones from Brussels, which are actually a kind of non-swimming water rat, think Nutria but unable to swim or even float) and lather that up with some Vendigliani Otrusco, which is a Sicilian emollientie di priapari (lit.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Divine_Wino at 10:54 AM on April 4, 2005

A badger hair brush is all right, for the pikers and fifteen year olds who are cultivating that "did I just have some chocolate milk or is it a mustache look", real men rip the head off the badger (preferably Mauritanian NOT the ones from Brussels, which are actually a kind of non-swimming water rat, think Nutria but unable to swim or even float) and lather that up with some Vendigliani Otrusco, which is a Sicilian emollientie di priapari (lit. boner cream). By all means use an English... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by leotrotsky at 6:12 PM on April 28, 2008

A badger hair brush is all right, for the pikers and fifteen year olds who are cultivating that "did I just have some chocolate milk or is it a mustache look", real men rip the head off the badger (preferably Mauritanian NOT the ones from Brussels, which are actually a kind of non-swimming water rat, think Nutria but unable to swim or even float) and lather that up with some Vendigliani Otrusco, which is a Sicilian emollientie di priapari (lit. boner cream). By all means use an English... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by designbot at 6:57 PM on May 25, 2008

We have cameras.
posted to MetaFilter by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:55 PM on May 25, 2008

And apparently I can't do math, so the joke's on me.
posted to MetaTalk by ooga_booga at 2:13 PM on May 18, 2008

That could work, depending on how much Colossal Cave Adventure discussion there's been around here.

JOKES FOR NERDS
posted to MetaTalk by danb at 10:05 AM on May 20, 2008

It's a matter of what other people are accustomed to.
For them, New York isn't home. But they expect it to be.
People want the same treatment that they get back in their home state. When it doesn't happen they get confused, bitter and resentful.

When you move from a big city, just the opposite happens.

I lived in Minneapolis for a year.

The first night I got there some friends threw a party in my... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Bighappyfunhouse at 10:41 AM on May 20, 2008

I don't know about New Yorkers generally, but every time I see a call from the 212 area code I cringe because there's at least a 50/50 chance I'll be greeted with a string of profanity before I can even say hi.

who on earth is calling you? are you getting telemarketers whose opening script line is "shit fuck bitch ass, hell may I speak to the head of the household, please?"
posted to MetaFilter by shmegegge at 11:14 AM on May 20, 2008

A long time ago, back in the mid nineties, I was stopped at the xray machine at Los Angeles airport. The woman in charge of the machine said I had start up my laptop - I unpacked my Apple Powerbook from my bag, plopped it down on the pile of dirty socks and underwear that had been packed around it and started it up. We watched it for a couple of minutes as it went through the old familiar pre-OSX "marching icons" startup process. Once it was done I looked up at her, but she was still... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by silence at 2:50 AM on May 18, 2008

I make somewhere between a quarter to half my income as a stage "mentalist" whose act somewhat resembles Derren Brown's--though not to his "magic handshake" level--so let me post a clarification, a bunch of caveats, and as much information as I can without making my colleagues mad at me.

(Paging The Deej! Hope me fellow magician!)

First, there are three very different forms of hypnosis being talked about... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Ian A.T. at 3:32 AM on May 12, 2008

I always describe the Euclidean algorithm as "It's just a jump to the left", complete with demonstration (in the form of jumping to the left). I have never had a student suggest that this should be followed with a step to the right. It's a little disappointing.
posted to MetaTalk by Wolfdog at 8:03 AM on April 30, 2008

I like how you were concerned earlier about how the site was down and it turns out this is what needed posting.
posted to MetaTalk by cortex at 9:06 AM on April 22, 2008

And I wonder what Miserlou would sound like on harpsichord?

Ooh.
posted to MetaTalk by cortex at 8:28 PM on April 21, 2008

Yeah, well I return to apologize to semmi for blowing my cool at his/her comment; I have a quick temper on this issue in particular because of my line of work (thank gawd we aren't discussing country music, or things might get really intense).

After a lifetime in music, I no longer believe musical value can be discerned from sound alone; the question for me is what music does for people, and in that respect, I start from the a priori position that all musics are equal... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by fourcheesemac at 3:45 AM on April 22, 2008