Favorites from melissa
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Loyalty is considered a virtue. However, it doesn't seem to benefit the loyal person very much. If anything, they are much more likely to feel betrayed than their less-loyal counterparts. What does a loyal friend/partner/employee gain from being loyal?
Due to a myriad of reasons I’ve decided the job I’m currently in isn’t one I should stay in for the long term and I’ve begun applying for other jobs. However, the frustrations at the office still get to me. I’m trying to emotionally distance myself but still stay motivated and productive and do my best work (within reason given the circumstances).
Once a week I would like to have Do a Thing Night with my husband, where we do something at home after the kids are in bed, that is outside our daily repertoire. I would like ideas for things to do that are 30-45 minutes, don't require a ton of set-up and clean-up, and don't require excessive advanced planning or supply purchases. Snowflakes inside!
My inner critic can be very superficial and mean to myself and others. How do I shut that guy up?
I've been slowly improving my wardrobe but somehow I'm feeling a kind of impostor syndrome--as though I'm just playing dress-up and look ridiculous.
The past two years have been pretty damn rough for me, but I feel like I'm ready to start being an adult again. Indecisiveness has turned me into a stagnant recluse and I simply can't live like this any longer. The problem is that I don't know where to start, so that's why I'm here.
My employer is serious about not using copyrighted materials unless you have the copyright holder's permission. But in a classroom situation, might there be "one weird trick" to get around it?
After reading this WSJ article about two types of responders to the work-life balance (the "integrators" who mix up work time and home time, and the "separators" who try to draw a line between the two), I realize that I fall firmly into the first camp. I often write emails at midnight or later, after the kids are asleep and the house is quiet. But is this unfair to the recipients of my late-night messages?
My work computer is 5 years old and is not responding well to the latest Office upgrade. It only has 4 GB RAM and my tech guy tells me that I need a new laptop. So, yay, but I have been using this laptop for everything for 5 years and I want to make sure that all my personal info and passwords are cleared before turning it in. So, how do I do this? (oh, it's a Latitude E6510, if that matters)
It's been a long time coming, but today my ability to cope with the pressure in my life collapsed, and now I don't know what to do. I'm looking for guidance from others who've gone through this sort of thing.
I'm performing in a revue at my school in a week and a half; I'm going to be singing a real knockout of a song. I want to look just as amazing as I'll sound. I'm a size 18. Where should I shop this weekend to find my drop dead gorgeous dress? Physical stores preferred.
You are future me. You used to self-sabotage your healthy intentions after shitty days by eating weird, crappy foods. No disordered eating or thinking, just zero self control and a feeling of 'fuck the plan, I'm sad and I deserve to feel better'. What did you successfully replace the weird crappy foods with to give you the same 'comfort blanket' feeling without the sabotage?
Over the last 3 years I've lost interest in TV, books, comics and news. This frightens me. Has anyone been through this?
I'm a liberal-arts-ish woman who has some experience with computer programming (HTML, CSS and PHP) and a ton of graphics/design experience. I hear about code bootcamps and lots of people changing careers to CS, and I'm wondering if it would be a good idea to try and develop my programming skills. But I'm worried I'm not geeky enough to hack it.
Should I keep my stable, reasonably paying job with decent work-life balance that I've had for ages but which also makes me kind of sad?
Now that Cute Overload closed shop, I have nowhere to run when things get too intense at work. Can you help me find some options?
I’ve been running my own business as a consultant for a few years now and have a category of situation that keeps cropping up that leads me to ask myself, “Is it ok to tell not tell the whole truth in business when the full truth might be awkward or complicated?”
I stare at a computer screen eight hours a day for work. Eyestrain is a real problem. Most of my after-work activities don't give my eyes much downtime. What can I do to relax or entertain myself that will go easy on my eyes?
I'm constantly getting ads for these mattresses, and the prices seem too good to be true. Does anyone actually have one of these mattresses? I'd love to hear some real world reviews that aren't filtered through the company webpages.
I'm looking for a drink I can have that's low/no calorie, and low/no caffeine that's also not water.
Lunch has become my most hated meal and I've started to avoid it. How can I enjoy lunch? How can I make a decent lunch for myself? As a kid I got out of packing a lunch by going home for lunch. As an adult I used to go out for lunch, when I worked close to restaurants. However, now I work too far from decent restaurants, so I really need to start bringing my own lunch at work.
Please help me pick an activity tracker that fits my needs from the seemingly limitless options out there. Snowflakes inside.
This risks being overly vague, but I'm really curious about how it works for other people. We have a child (and one on the way); I work part-time (but hope to go full time at some point) and my husband has a flexible job. And still, everything is -- crazy. Help?
Question for my fellow Canuck photographers - do you have a preferred option for online photo printing and delivery?
If you were mentoring/working with a technical professional or someone without a strong writing background, what book(s) would you recommend they read to learn about basic concepts/techniques/style/voice, etc.?
Hope me an online-only CBT class for Perfectionism, worthlessness, and other related 'Bad Thoughts'. (Or an alternative plan of treatment.)
Either versus being depressed, or not (what I'm saying is, I'm fine with answers from never-depressed people but also comparative answers from those who have gone through depressive periods and recovery).
I am having a significant, abnormal amount of difficulty getting anything accomplished at work. This problem has steadily been worsening over the last several months, and I am getting worried. How can I snap out of this?
I have a new Pebble Time and an iPhone and I want to make the most of it. What is the best of Pebble? Favorite watch face? Most fun stupid quirky thing? Inspire me!
I want to spend my evenings/weekends making, rather than consuming. Help me plan to do that. I’m looking for examples of activity that is creative, enjoyable and of some value to others.
You are someone who are not a book/paper person. You look up nearly everything on the internet. But you have a book that beats any piece of reference (how-to, cookbook, etc) that you've found on the internet. Could be because of its beauty, its ease-of-use, its comprehensiveness. What is this book? (and what has changed since this question?)
Help me get out of the routine and re-engage with life!
I need a mantra that basically describes it being okay to suck/be imperfect/do a modestly okay job.
How much conversation time or "together time" should I expect in my marriage? Do I have unrealistic expectations of what a healthy marriage is?
What are some ways that a parent recovering from serious depression can let their young children know that they are loved and treasured?
I find it very hard to find the motivation to get involved in social interactions or group activities. I am happy observing, only speaking up when I feel I have something unique to contribute, like when I see nobody else is saying what I have to say or is able to perform something I can do. I don't want attention for the sake of attention and am used to being an observer, but I need to change as this behavior is beginning to have a toll on my life. Details inside.
I have to "clean" a Word file by getting rid of all names before a tab mark.
I've given out the odd bit of career advice here, but now I find myself in my own bored, unhappy rut. Jobhunting throws up hundreds of results because I am a jack-of-all-trades, but all I can muster for all the options is total apathy. Help!
Housework is not work. Sex work is not work. Emotional work is not work. Why? Because they don’t take effort? No, because women are supposed to provide them uncompensated, out of the goodness of our hearts.
I work for a giant company with giant clients. Naturally, with giant organizations, no one has their shit together, especially when it comes to deadlines. How to deal?
Could I have some chapter book recommendations for a inquisitive 5 year old who will be starting kindergarten this fall? Her interests range from magical horses to robots, but she is generally open to anything that isn't too scary. The BFG was well received, but The Wind in the Willows doesn't seem to hold her attention.
I'm currently having a deck installed in my backyard - yay! We're using composite decking made from recycled wood and high density polyethylene plastic. I noticed last night that they are cutting the boards quite close to my herb garden and the dirt and plants are covered in sawdust. Will this sawdust make my herbs/tomatoes unsafe to eat?
How does a constant hypochondriac and anxiety sufferer just live and feel like a regular person?
I'd like to develop a post-work habit or ritual for as soon as I arrive home. Something that will send a signal to my brain that "work is over, and now you're home." What habits, rituals or environmental changes have worked well for you?
I'm a woman in my thirties, very happily married, in an interesting career. I love my partner, friends, and home. I have been treated for depression fairly successfully. So why do I feel like such a loser?
I need to screw up a couple of times. Once I do, I'll realize it's not the end of the world, and I will be able to stop keeping everything on hold. But I've been on hold for most of my life, paralyzed and afraid to move for fear of not getting it perfectly right. How do I bring myself to put forth the effort to do the scary thing, even knowing that that's the only way I can make it stop being scary?
I am a 40 year old woman. I'm 5'6" and weigh about 200lbs. I know why I am so fat; I eat a lot and never exercise. But what I don't know is why I don't look after my body the way I do the rest of my life. I have read and heard lots of times that a lot of weight issues are related to emotional issues but I'm happy. I don't have any major issues. If you were like this, how did you finally motivate yourself to lose weight and get healthy?
What are good strategies for helping an anxious first or second grader deal with their anxiety.
I'm always delighted when reading to discover that an author has subtly written their books into the same quasi-real-life universe. Help me find more examples!
Mr. Pterodactyl and I have realized we enjoy trying and learning new things together. We especially like it if we can take a short lesson or a few short lessons first. What are some (not outrageously expensive) things we could try?