Favorites from melissa
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Journalist Jancee Dunn examines the inequality in her own family and does something about it. She documented it for everyone. Dunn, mostly known for her work in Rolling Stone, has a new book How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids. This is a "self-help" book, but better because it is funny and well-researched.
My manager fairly frequently sends me email praising me for my work. I think I'm just doing my job. How should I respond?
My boss is a people pleaser, and true to form, she does not want to tell her boss anything they don't want to hear. My team has been bleeding people (one person has left each year I've been there) and is overloaded with work, but the grandboss is not responsive. Any tips on dealing with my boss in an ethical manner while still showing her that there is no real way to get everything requested completed?
This discussion on the blue has got me thinking about how much anxiety seems to be a factor in the behaviour and performance of many of the people I work with these days.
I'm bored at work and get restless, but I'm stuck. How do I get myself to concentrate when I don't like what I do?
I'm just about to have laser eye surgery and I will be out of commission for over a week, holed up in the dark and pretty much unable to see anything..... My husband is not a bad cook, he just really doesn't cook and I need to give him some easy and flavourful meals to cook while I am out of action.
I have an iPhone 6S with 16 gigs of storage and an iCloud account with 200 gigs of storage. I have a bunch of pictures stored on the cloud, over 60 gigs. My phone constantly has the 'storage almost full' alert. This happens no matter what I delete. How do I fix this?
I am trying to get into to the IT field but my main priority is work life balance. Working no more than 40 hours a week with weekends off would be ideal and bonus would be holidays off ( especially Christmas and new years). The job title doesn't matter to me nor how entry level or how much the pay is. Does such a job exist in tech where you can work 8:00am to 4:30pm M-F with very little to no overtime? Reason: Family and Boyfriend time on the weekend is important to me.
How do I get motivated and start moving with a new job search? I am quite tired of my job and ready to do something else - I'm tired because there is too much to do, and I've been in my role for awhile, and I don't see a future at my confusing jumble of a company. But I'm dragging my feet, for two main reasons: 1) I'm afraid of change (what if every place is like this??) 2) the possibilities are daunting because I could move anywhere (where do I go, how do I even search when I think I'm open to many locales??) How do I calmly, effectively focus efforts on finding something new?
I have a few ideas for posting (and sorting) my photos online. I'm not looking to set up a brand or get a ton of likes/ upvotes, but at the same time, I want my "collections" to be cohesive, partially for personal reasons of browsing my own older photos. What's the best: Instagram, Tumblr, Blogger, or Flicker? POSSE (Post [on your] Own Site, Syndicate Elsewhere) or IFTTT?
My boyfriend reacts badly to very common everyday frustrations. I'm a sensitive person and his negativity really weighs on me. His hot temper also makes me very uncomfortable. How do I talk to him about this?
I'm a manager of things, and that works for me. My next step up the corporate ladder is to manage people, and I don't want to do that. I have ambition, just not in that direction. Have I hit my ceiling?
So, around 2pm today (Friday) the HR manager for the division of the company I work for sent me a meeting invite for Thursday of next week. She included a staff lawyer and HR manager that comes from another division. Neither my manager, nor anyone from the business unit I work for was invited to the meeting. The meeting will be conducted over the phone (all parties work in different locations). I should note that I manage a small team and have 5 direct reports.
After having replaced my coffeemaker(s) (various styles & brands) too many times in too few years, I finally settled on a stainless steel, old-school stovetop percolator and I love it because it just works, there is little waste and the coffee is wonderful and hot.
I am in a new relationship, and it is going well. I am a talker, and if we want to go there, my "love languages" are words of affection and quality time. He is more reserved, and speaks more through action than words. I am enjoying learning new ways to show and receive affection, but I also need words to feel secure...How do I learn to navigate this new communication landscape without sacrificing my needs?
I'm trying to find a replacement for the old Sticky Notes widget -- something that I can just type stuff in (mainly a to-do list), and it sits on my desktop all the time. Of course, snowflakes inside.
The Mr and I are down for the count with the Martian Death Plague. While I do like watching him play RPGs and FPSes, we have discovered there is indeed a limit to the number of hours of video games he can play in a week without going bug-eyed. Looking for YouTube channels and playlists with funny/entertaining/non-depressing brain candy.
Who are the best gurus and best resources for "freeing yourself from the 9 to 5 grind"? Everybody and his brother has a book on how to set up an online business and/or multiple streams of income that will allow you to work from anywhere on your own schedule. Who are the best?
There's a recurring theme of frustration between my husband and I and I don't know how to tell if I have unrealistic expectations, if I'm being unfair, or if this is actually OK to be frustrated about. Or how, practically, to start on making any of it better.
I've been running Windows 10 on a Lenovo B590 for about a year, and have always used a second monitor without any problem... until now.
A family member needs to be told more than once, but then gets angry at me for 'nagging.' How can we get out of this dynamic?
So my husband has decided to take our four year old on a roadtrip to see some family this Thursday - Sunday leaving me with the house to myself for four days with no one to worry about but myself! SCORE! Except it's been so long since I have had that length of alone time (other than work trips where I am not home) that I'm not totally sure how to take advantage of it. Looking for ideas!
I'm in my early thirties and I don't think I've ever been creative. I just don't think I have much imagination for those kinds of things. But it's something I think I'd like in my life, and I'm a little bewildered where to start. Is creativity or imagination something I can learn (or be taught), or is it more innate?
I have serious career burnout. After an exhausting and stressful decade of working at two of the highest profile, most competitive tech companies anywhere, I'm quickly reaching the point where I just can't stand it any longer. I'm stressed all the time, and I'm starting to think it's becoming dangerous for me to have this much stress at this time in my life. Trouble is, I can't seem to decide what to do next. Snowstorm after the jump.
I've noticed a pattern at the software company I work for: our best engineers (not just in terms of engineering but also in terms of their social skills, collaboration, coaching and working well with others) are promoted to engineering leadership roles and given direct reports. This reduces the time they spend actually making things by at least 50% due to the time they spend in management. They often don't make great managers (at least at first) and in some cases they eventually ask to return to being an individual contributor. How can we make this work better? What patterns of success have you seen for this in your own workplaces?
I write quotes for clients on a daily basis, have about 30 products in 3 different colors, I need to produce a quick--hopefully visual quote (want to feature small thumbnails of the items on the quote) Most of my clients call in their orders on the phone---so it would be just producing a quote on my end that i can send them as a PDF. No one uses my web site to actually order items, just peruse them. Mac OS X here but would prefer web app is possible. Please let me know what works for you
I just hosted a party, and for reasons, invested $1.50 in a stack of paper plates for it. I cannot get over how much this tiny thing improved my experience. What other 'small thing made such a huge difference' lifehacks can I try?
I seem to be terrible at interviewing for jobs. I attribute most of this to anxiety around being evaluated, as I always freeze up and my mind goes blank. I think my anxiety makes me come off as timid as well. I've never, EVER, gotten a job from a formal interview process. All of my full time jobs I've obtained via temping; Clients realize that I am an excellent employee despite poor first impressions and hire me permanently. My former co-workers and managers have told me that I'm friendly, articulate, outgoing and professional. I just can't get this across during job interviews.
I'm an anxious beanplater in desperate need of a positive distraction. I want to come up with a long list of activities I can refer to that will help me 'get out of my head' - in other words, the activities are so (manageably, safely) intense or consuming or absorbing that I don't have the time or mental space to waste on unimportant worries and anxieties that would otherwise eat me alive. Effectively helping me to "get out of" my head and stop obsessive thoughts.
I'm looking for suggestions for movie night menus, and activities for at-home date nights.
I'm looking for websites, forums, groups where I can talk to people about pregnancy, birth and childraising without all the stereotypical societal crap. Realism and respect for ambivalence appreciated.
Trying to find a recipe for Mac and Cheese that will serve 15-20 and ideally be able to made completely the day before, and heated in the oven prior to serving.
What activities or pursuits do you find more rejuvenating and relaxing than sitting idly in front of the computer or watching TV? I'm looking for things that I can do on a regular basis that will leave my mental and physical batteries feeling recharged rather than drained.
Loyalty is considered a virtue. However, it doesn't seem to benefit the loyal person very much. If anything, they are much more likely to feel betrayed than their less-loyal counterparts. What does a loyal friend/partner/employee gain from being loyal?
Due to a myriad of reasons I’ve decided the job I’m currently in isn’t one I should stay in for the long term and I’ve begun applying for other jobs. However, the frustrations at the office still get to me. I’m trying to emotionally distance myself but still stay motivated and productive and do my best work (within reason given the circumstances).
Once a week I would like to have Do a Thing Night with my husband, where we do something at home after the kids are in bed, that is outside our daily repertoire. I would like ideas for things to do that are 30-45 minutes, don't require a ton of set-up and clean-up, and don't require excessive advanced planning or supply purchases. Snowflakes inside!
My inner critic can be very superficial and mean to myself and others. How do I shut that guy up?
I've been slowly improving my wardrobe but somehow I'm feeling a kind of impostor syndrome--as though I'm just playing dress-up and look ridiculous.
The past two years have been pretty damn rough for me, but I feel like I'm ready to start being an adult again. Indecisiveness has turned me into a stagnant recluse and I simply can't live like this any longer. The problem is that I don't know where to start, so that's why I'm here.
My employer is serious about not using copyrighted materials unless you have the copyright holder's permission. But in a classroom situation, might there be "one weird trick" to get around it?
After reading this WSJ article about two types of responders to the work-life balance (the "integrators" who mix up work time and home time, and the "separators" who try to draw a line between the two), I realize that I fall firmly into the first camp. I often write emails at midnight or later, after the kids are asleep and the house is quiet. But is this unfair to the recipients of my late-night messages?
My work computer is 5 years old and is not responding well to the latest Office upgrade. It only has 4 GB RAM and my tech guy tells me that I need a new laptop. So, yay, but I have been using this laptop for everything for 5 years and I want to make sure that all my personal info and passwords are cleared before turning it in. So, how do I do this? (oh, it's a Latitude E6510, if that matters)
It's been a long time coming, but today my ability to cope with the pressure in my life collapsed, and now I don't know what to do. I'm looking for guidance from others who've gone through this sort of thing.
I'm performing in a revue at my school in a week and a half; I'm going to be singing a real knockout of a song. I want to look just as amazing as I'll sound. I'm a size 18. Where should I shop this weekend to find my drop dead gorgeous dress? Physical stores preferred.
You are future me. You used to self-sabotage your healthy intentions after shitty days by eating weird, crappy foods. No disordered eating or thinking, just zero self control and a feeling of 'fuck the plan, I'm sad and I deserve to feel better'. What did you successfully replace the weird crappy foods with to give you the same 'comfort blanket' feeling without the sabotage?
Over the last 3 years I've lost interest in TV, books, comics and news. This frightens me. Has anyone been through this?
I'm a liberal-arts-ish woman who has some experience with computer programming (HTML, CSS and PHP) and a ton of graphics/design experience. I hear about code bootcamps and lots of people changing careers to CS, and I'm wondering if it would be a good idea to try and develop my programming skills. But I'm worried I'm not geeky enough to hack it.
Should I keep my stable, reasonably paying job with decent work-life balance that I've had for ages but which also makes me kind of sad?
Now that Cute Overload closed shop, I have nowhere to run when things get too intense at work. Can you help me find some options?
I’ve been running my own business as a consultant for a few years now and have a category of situation that keeps cropping up that leads me to ask myself, “Is it ok to tell not tell the whole truth in business when the full truth might be awkward or complicated?”