He is his own person. He is different to you. He'll be fine.


Also: would you be asking this question if your 19 year old daughter joined the abstinence club?
posted to Ask Metafilter by hot soup girl at 3:07 PM on September 4, 2008

Chris Matthews v. Kevin James

John Stewart v. Tucker Carlson (this one cost Tucker his job)
posted to Ask Metafilter by Maxwell_Smart at 12:35 PM on September 3, 2008

Listen, I completely understand that you're freaked out, in a probably perpetual state of panic and stress and looking to just run for the hills. But before you chuck the keys into the jingle mail, there are some things you should seriously consider. IANAFA and these are very general.

1) You can always declare bankruptcy. It's the option of last resort, but as last resort options go, it's pretty fabulous.

2) Knowing that you have the bankruptcy... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DarlingBri at 1:51 PM on September 2, 2008

sounds like you have made up your mind or you dont like the answer of no
posted to Ask Metafilter by captainsohler at 9:45 PM on August 24, 2008

I know they don't like their students, I have a friend going in to be a doctor, his teachers are paid grants and have to teach, they just talk and hate it he says

It's clear you have absolutely no idea or respect for what teaching involves at the university level (yeah, even for those faculty members who are primarily focused on research and grants). Go ahead and alienate instructors -- it's not like you'll ever need recommendation letters anyway...
posted to Ask Metafilter by amelioration at 10:20 PM on August 24, 2008

You seem to be looking for affirmation here, not information. What you seem to want is for people to tell you that it's OK to do what you've clearly already decided to do.

Attending a class without signing up for it or paying to attend is theft of services. If you attend school, it is the learning that you're paying for, not the credits. What you seem to want is to get that learning without paying for it.

Irrespective of any other aspect of this,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Class Goat at 10:58 PM on August 24, 2008

Looking at your previous post, I think the less you write, the better.

This sounds like a situation that was extremely emotionally difficult for you, and which may not have been emotionally difficult for him. In cases like that, you will be tempted to write a long letter explaining what this has meant for you, but then later you will feel bad for laying out your heart like that to someone who might not care as much as you deserve. So hold back.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LobsterMitten at 4:01 PM on August 23, 2008 marked best answer

I've been outside. It's overrrated.

Traditionally Outside receives extremely high ratings by those who like to see others play it, and these people are in many cases comfortably ensconced Inside themselves. Outside was released many years ago, it was in fact the first massively multiplayer game, and yet it has always managed to avoid the double-edged Retro tag. In its favor, continual user updates have kept Outside current; there are always new things... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by aeschenkarnos at 4:19 PM on March 30, 2008

really, it's none of your business. anonymous letters? what the fuck is this, a soap opera and we're all 70? let it go, none of your business.

and to the "OMFG HER HEALTH" commenters -- people fuck, it's a fact of life, always have, always will. and they're not falling dead on the streets, fucking can't give you Ebola. and unless this dude is having unprotected anal sex orgies with Brazilian tranny hookers on a daily basis, he's not going to catch AIDS either.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by matteo at 7:51 AM on August 21, 2008

Laundry. Wash your sheets, blankets, throw pillow covers, afghans, towels, and any other fabrics you have lying around, often. Use a good detergent, like Tide, and use fabric softener sheets.

Also, keep your windows open for as much of the year as possible. It makes the apartment smell like the outdoors.

(I hate the smell of incense, cologne, and all air fresheners. I also have allergies, as do lots of other people, so I'd have to leave your... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 10:38 PM on August 21, 2008

There are scents that are made from real things (some oils and expen$ive perfumes) and there are scents made from chemicals synthesized in a lab to mimic something. As a general rule you should avoid the latter. This includes most all cheap scented stuff like candles, incense, fabric softener, scented detergent etc.

Things that smell nice are old fashioned cleaners like Murphys Oil Soap, oiled wood floors & furniture, leather furniture, unscented but clean laundry,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by fshgrl at 10:51 PM on August 21, 2008

I've spent a lot of time with hippies. I was raised by some, lived in communes here and there, and to this day retain contact with quite a few people who are tiedyed-in-the-wool old school Summer of Love hippies. While hardly universal, I've noticed a few commonalities across a couple of generations of hippie that crop up more often than they seem to in non-hippie populations:

A number of the O.G. 1965 hippie dudes I have run into are manipulative assholes, for one... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by majick at 1:41 PM on July 31, 2008

I think this situation calls for neutral, not negative, feedback, with a comment that notes that the item was received quickly but unwanted religious materials were included.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:52 PM on July 26, 2008

Don't you people ever get bored of playing cop?
posted to MetaTalk by Roach at 11:46 AM on April 10, 2007

The solution I see is to no longer be an employee of the company. You resign and then are hired back as a contractor at a rate equal to your salary.

Then it is still "100% participation of all eligible employees", your son has health insurance and nobody gets screwed.
posted to Ask Metafilter by mikepop at 8:59 AM on July 17, 2008

Food. What with the excitement, the greeting and mingling with guests, the photo ops with everyone, the dancing, and the speechifying, the bridge and groom don't always get a chance to eat more than a few bites at the reception. My SO and me drove off into the sunset with the "Just Married" sign on the back of our car and promptly ordered a pizza because we were starving.
posted to Ask Metafilter by jamaro at 2:09 PM on July 11, 2008

www.dxdt.com
posted to Ask Metafilter by Fat Guy at 10:09 AM on July 10, 2008

1- I would not get the police involved, or at least only as a last resort. Doing that is a final admission that you aren't in charge. You are telling them that you have ceeded authority over their behavior to someone else. You'll never get them to do anything again. Your house, your rules.

2- To shape them up, you have to shape yourself up. Go Chuck Norris on them. Do not make threats! Make promises. Anything you say like "this is the last time, next time... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by gjc at 9:35 PM on July 8, 2008

As a former teenage pothead, I highly doubt that you will be able to force them to stop smoking. Accept this.

Here's my $0.02. Sit down with them and speak to them as an adult, on the level. Be honest. Acknowledge that they are capable of making their own decisions, but inform them of the implications of their choices. There are legal issues, health issues, social issues and consequences for the future that come into play. Remind them that they should be mindful... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by gnutron at 11:34 PM on July 8, 2008

I think that your instinct to write to his mom is a good one. I bet it would mean a lot to her.
posted to Ask Metafilter by moxiedoll at 10:40 AM on July 9, 2008

But I'm still an outsider; I can feel it.

EVERYBODY FEELS THIS WAY.
posted to Ask Metafilter by The corpse in the library at 3:27 PM on July 5, 2008

What you do at 19 is irrelevant to what happens in your real life unless you get knocked up or get arrested.

(Disclaimer: I'm 19)

What? This person's life is very real to them right now, so it matters. Life is not a board game, if you play to solidify your position in some hypothetical Real Life stage, you'll regret it.

I suppose what you mean to imply is that these relationships will be transitory... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by phrontist at 8:41 AM on June 21, 2008

Though I liked the rest of wfrgms's advice, this stuff horrified me:

When in doubt hit the used book store up the classics. Twain, Huxley, Orwell... you get the idea. You should read these too.
...
Plant a jar of organic peanut butter (you don't have to eat it) in your cupboard and gourmet ice cream in your freezer to show that you have a discerning pallet.
...
A few bottles of wine and a six pack of light beer... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by vytae at 10:44 AM on June 20, 2008

Look, he's 14 -- if he truly believes that sulking is preferable to biking with a helmet, I say let him. But if you're in the northern hemisphere it's summer and I doubt he'll hold out very long.

I don't think making disabled and disfigured people a tourist attraction is really the most sensitive action.
posted to Ask Metafilter by loiseau at 10:00 PM on June 6, 2008

Nobody thinks it will happen to him, but there are guys your age who are going to have to wear diapers for the rest of their life because they missed one trick. You are my son; it would destroy me if you ended up like that. I know helmets are not cool, but I want to you to have fun and I don't want to change your diapers, so help me out. I don't want you to say OK and then take it off as soon as I'm not looking at you. Some helmets are cooler than others, right? Or maybe some good... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Methylviolet at 10:31 PM on June 6, 2008

I never had a meat eater complain about sweet potato and black bean enchiladas.

Dice up sweet potatoes into about 1/2 to 1 inch cubes. Toss in oil and roast in a casserole in a hot oven for about 20 minutes or until they're tender. Meanwhile dice up onion and cook in oil in the largest pan you have, until the onion is translucent, then throw in some garlic for a few minutes. Drop in the sweet potatoes and a drained can of black beans. Spice with cumin and chili powder.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by dosterm at 5:12 PM on May 19, 2008

MY FRIEND DAVE TOLD ME ABOUT THIS PLAY HE SAW. IT WAS THE STORY OF JESUS CHRIST. IN THE END, JESUS WAS ON THE CROSS, AND THIS ROMAN SOLDIER WAS SUPPOSED TO WALK BY AND JAB HIM IN THE RIBS WITH A SPEAR. ONLY HE GRABBED THE WRONG PROP. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ONE OF THOSE ONES WITH A RETRACTIBLE BLADE. INSTEAD, HE GRABBED A REGULAR SPEAR. HE JABBED JESUS WITH IT REALLY HARD, AT WHICH POINT JESUS SCREAMED, "JESUS CHRIST THAT HURTS!!!!" THE CURTAIN CAME DOWN.

IT CAME... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 11:26 AM on May 19, 2008

I got an Environsax for giftmas, and I keep it in my purse all the time. It folds up to a very small size, and weighs nothing. I used it a million times more than any other reusable bag I own because I always have it handy. It's really reduced my plastic bag pile.
posted to Ask Metafilter by kimdog at 6:03 PM on April 22, 2008

Two words: Disposable Razors.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Space Kitty at 6:17 PM on April 13, 2008

The kid is 14, your boyfriend is a full time parent, regardless of the custody agreement, until he is 18. The kid comes first until then, and to a large extent still after he's18. I realize this isn't your kid and it doesn't seem fair that your life has to be upended to accommodate him. However, here's the thing, you are in this situation by choice, you can leave whenever you want, and probably should. Your boyfriend can't and his son really can't. He can't get a new mom or dad, a dad that... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by whoaali at 4:40 PM on April 6, 2008

I'd go ahead and say 6' though there's a significant loss of significant figures by rounding. When you say 5' 11 1/2" people know your height within a 1/2" of your actual height while when you say 6' your height can fluctuate by a foot. Just something to think about.
posted to Ask Metafilter by woolylambkin at 12:40 AM on April 6, 2008

Great friends are people who

- remember your preferences for food/drink stuff and always make your coffee the way you like it
- send you little fun stuff in the mail for no reason
- remember things that are going on in your life and ask you about them
- have some magic ability to give advice when you want it and not when you don't
- adjust to your level of feeling like you need a friend so if you're in a bad place, they're... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by jessamyn at 8:20 AM on February 12, 2008 marked best answer

Since it's already a colloquialism, I humbly submit that you might want to consider kickin' up the vernacular a notch and go with "beatinses."
posted to Ask Metafilter by dersins at 3:00 PM on March 28, 2008

You could take it to your local cellphone store and ask them if they can help you figure out why the phone you bought somewhere else doesn't work properly. Ask them if they know how to fix it. When they say that it's not a real phone act very confused and pretend not to understand what they are talking about.

For an added bonus aspect of the prank, you could make an obvoiusly fake "rrrring" noise and then pretend to answer the phone. Then tell the person who... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by burnmp3s at 10:18 AM on March 14, 2008 marked best answer

I like to steam chopped broccoli and blend it with a little lemon juice, pepper, and garlic, put it on freshly cooked and drained hot pasta (usually rotini), then put in a few 1 cm cubes of Gorgonzola and stir until the cheese is melted.

It makes an attractive green sauce that is tasty, healthy (depending on how much cheese you put in) and different from the usual tomato sauce.

You can substitute steamed spinach for the broccoli and it works just as well.
posted to Ask Metafilter by hurdy gurdy girl at 12:23 PM on March 3, 2008 marked best answer

You're right, verbal threats don't earn you respect. You earn respect by following through on your words with actions, by displaying mastery of your subject, by treating your students with respect and demanding nothing but the best from them. Detentions don't scare kids, but disapproval from someone you look up to and respect? That hurts.

The teachers who whine and yell and lose control of their classrooms do so because they don't culture this... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by chrisamiller at 9:48 AM on February 29, 2008

Sufjan Steven- The Dress Looks Nice on You (this song is what ignited my love for Sufjan)
Sufjan Stevens- For the Widows in Paradise, For the Fatherless in Ypsilanti

Concrete Blonde- Side of the Road
posted to Ask Metafilter by kimdog at 4:47 PM on February 29, 2008

Great Lake Swimmers
posted to Ask Metafilter by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 4:20 PM on February 29, 2008 marked best answer

how could I have been so blind to the fact that my wife was unhappy?

I was a divorce lawyer for a number of years and saw many, many middle-aged male clients who were devastated when their wives of 20+ years told them the marriage was over. In the majority of cases they - like you - had believed themselves to be good husbands. They'd always worked a steady job, didn't go out with the boys every night, had no other women, there were no big fights at... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by essexjan at 3:29 AM on February 24, 2008

I live on kauai part year so i have a pretty good list for ya. Of course Kauai is all about relaxing on the beach, so i wont mention that.

Things you MUST see:

Na Pali Coast:
-by kayak (all day of you paddling)
-catamaran (half-day relaxing), if you go by boat I highly suggest Kauai Sea Tours. In my opinion they have the best crew and a very nice boat, tell captain Joan, stephen says hi (and she WILL know who you mean).... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Black_Umbrella at 7:16 AM on November 16, 2007 marked best answer

How many perfectly ordinary women really are beautiful if you just take the time to look at them.
posted to Ask Metafilter by DarlingBri at 4:50 PM on February 12, 2008

Here are a few automatic of my playlists that have helped me better enjoy my large collection:

1. 100 random songs than have been added in last 120 days that I've never played.
2. 100 songs that I've never played yet.
3. 100 songs that I've listened to at least twice that I haven't rated yet. (yes, I rate my songs)
posted to Ask Metafilter by furtive at 6:03 PM on February 2, 2008

When someone is talking to you, instead of formulating what witty thing you're going to say in reply and then waiting impatiently for them to be done talking so you can premier your new feat of intellect, try just looking at their eyes and listening to what they say.

Do that genuinely, and that alone will cause people to think of you as a good friend.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Darth Fedor at 11:01 AM on February 21, 2007

Or, send them pictures of the lobster with a tiny gag around whatever passes for its mouth, tied to a chair, perched near a pot of boiling water, etc. Accompany these with magazine-cutout ransom notes.


....I did a similar thing to a teacher's shoe in high school, but after a few days I was peer-pressured out of it by my lame friends. This is much more fun.
posted to Ask Metafilter by landedjentry at 7:12 PM on January 21, 2008

Damn near anything!

A veteran of these "foreign" wars (3 grown kids, including twins), your life will change to the core. Lots of good advice above. Fasten your seat belt for the most magnificent journey you will ever take. Climbing Everest is nothing compared to creating a life that makes the world a better place.

In looking back however, there is one thing I would change. If you have childless friends who mean a lot, bond with them.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by private_idaho at 5:58 PM on January 16, 2008

Elmo Oxygen writes "I feel like I'm commenting in my own thread too much, and it's hard to resist considering the charges being leveled at me."

No one is leveling charges: they're just giving you worst-case-scenarios for how you might be perceived. They're not trying to be confrontational or call you out: they're warning that some people might perceive your behavior as less-than-honest. Please don't take this warning (which is valid,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mr_roboto at 12:44 PM on January 7, 2008

2 Betazoids walk into a bar. One says "I'll have the same."

So this neutron walks into a bar, orders a pint of lager and begins to open his wallet when the barman says, "For you, no charge!".
posted to Ask Metafilter by Mitheral at 10:12 AM on November 23, 2007

Don't take it personally: many people lack the necessary social skills it takes to make conversation flow smoothly when there is someone who is new to a group.

It's a lot of work, and it can be a pain in the ass trying to be inclusive...not everyone cares about being inclusive, so people who do try to include you have to deal with your passivity and the obtuseness of the others in the group who should be trying to make you feel welcome.

I'm a... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by KokuRyu at 12:20 PM on November 23, 2007

It seems like I should be allowed to give her some sort of a 3-day notice to pay the deposit or move out

You seem to either not be understanding or choosing to ignore the fact you are NOT this woman's landlord and therefore have no authority whatsoever to give her any sort of notice to leave the apartment.

She owes you money. There are avenues to take care of that (small claims court).

You don't like... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by The Gooch at 11:53 AM on November 15, 2007

rsclark, I've seen that attributed as a response by Ogden Nash, but I can't confirm it.

And I've finally remembered my mom's favorite one of these. "Know what I mean, jelly bean?"
posted to Ask Metafilter by darksasami at 3:31 PM on November 12, 2007