I think one of the hardest challenges of feminism is allowing for the dynamic of dominant male-submissive female in a particular instance when its consensual and what both people desire. there is definitely something wrong with a society that believes all women should hand-feed grapes to all men, but there is nothing wrong with one woman desiring to hand-feed grapes to one man.
posted to MetaFilter by supermedusa at 7:32 PM on October 14, 2008

Monkey waiters serving monkey brains wouldn't be wrong so much as it would be a postmodern installation piece deconstructing the role of the working class consumer in the service industry and their Stockholm Syndrome-reminiscent relationship to the moneyed (if not monkeyed) overclass, with overtones of the revulsion felt by Joe Sixpack (of Bananas) at the loss of central importance to the universe his species (and by extension, the "plight" of impoverished white... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by adipocere at 12:52 PM on October 7, 2008

I slid into the booth and asked for a cold Heineken, but the waiter just stared at me uncomprehendingly. "HEIN-EH-KENN", I repeated, in slow, cajoling tones, tones used to speak to a child. The waiter continued his blank gaze.
He didn't understand my accent. Damn.
"Beer."
He ambled off into the back room, pausing briefly to adjust his apron with his disconcertingly babylike hands.

It had started with the waiters,... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by poq at 1:30 PM on October 7, 2008

I always imagine Japan being like a Twilight Zone version of Nerd Heaven. I'd get there and there'd be monkey waiters and comics everywhere and speedy internet and movies about cowboy samurai and I'd run around happily. "Hooray! It's everything I've always wanted in one giant island!"

Then the tentacle rape and six-day work weeks would start.
posted to MetaFilter by The Man from Lardfork at 1:58 PM on October 7, 2008

watching the live feed

So to speak.
posted to MetaFilter by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:39 PM on October 7, 2008

Hey Sarah,

You don't me. Well I tried to get in touch with you but you kind of blew me off. Remember the first day you took office you had me come in and set you up on a wireless mouse? You also complained to me about having to change your password every 3 months. Oh and remember when you told me that the whole number and special character thing in the password was stupid? And to make it easier?

Oh also a couple months later you somehow disabled... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by geoff. at 2:29 PM on September 17, 2008

oh anonymous, what will you do next

Dear Ask Metafilter,

A friend of mine recently hacked the email of a fairly well-known person. He didn't do much, just took some screenshots. But it has become a big deal now. He's not sure what to do because he had heated up some leftover chicken right before posting his screenshots and never got around to eating it. It has been several hours since and he's wondering if it's OK to eat the chicken.
posted to MetaFilter by strangeleftydoublethink at 4:00 PM on September 17, 2008

Space cat. On my windshield. In space.
posted to MetaFilter by acro at 2:50 PM on September 14, 2008

Yeah. Sacred plant? Like, what, holy beets? Spiritual salad?

It's a plant. Just like the coca plant, from which cocaine is made. Poppies, from which heroin is made. The, uh, methamphetamine tree from which crank is made. Well, okay, I made that last one up.

Taking salvia is not some metaphysical right of passage. It's not a message from God. It's people getting fucked up in a way that they like to get fucked up. That doesn't make it... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Justinian at 3:18 PM on September 14, 2008

It is visionary, especially in the higher concentrated extracts. It's an entheogen and had a "personality" to it, in a similar sense that the tryptamines do. It's really a sacred plant and deserves thoughtful responsible use. The mexicans having been using this way for many years.
It ain't no party weed, these fools give it bad image.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
posted to MetaFilter by Inspector.Gadget at 3:23 PM on September 14, 2008

Sacred, my ass. They liked to get fucked up, so they made up some religious bullshit so they had an excuse.
posted to MetaFilter by Arch_Stanton at 5:06 PM on September 14, 2008

"I love the idea of hacking the LHC,"

Why?

Honestly. They're spending all kinds of money, the guys in the lab have gone through years and years of training and hard work, and for that they get to spend tens of hours upon hours doing tedious demanding work with an intricate piece of equipment that's built and fixed by other guys who probably want to be with their families too rather than watching to see if some esoteric component gets .... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Smedleyman at 9:57 PM on September 13, 2008

it was a steamy late august evening, we were working the late shift out of the proctology squad...

Wow, Quonsar, that's a stunningly unfunny "joke" you chose to make as a comment on this tragedy. You are a jerk.
posted to MetaFilter by longsleeves at 1:57 AM on September 1, 2008

How do you proceed, then?

Step 1: Reject orwellian terms such as "free speech zone".
Step 2: Clear area of weapons and debris that can be used as weapons (i.e. lock the doors at 2x4s 'R Us).
Step 3: Get out of the riot gear, which only serves to alienate and distance the protectors from the protectees.
Step 4 and more: Study how some other countries, who already don't do the above, proceed.
posted to MetaFilter by DU at 6:22 AM on August 29, 2008

Postroad writes "Ok. You are in charge of policing a huge convention. "

You start by reserving the riot helmets and billy clubs for when they're needed, not using paramilitary paraphernalia as the standard police outfit.

That equipment intimidates and enrages protesters, and gives cops a testosterone rush and a feeling of invincibility; those things in turn make confrontation and clashes more, not less, likely.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by orthogonality at 8:21 AM on August 29, 2008

Point me to even one man who can tell the difference. Or cares.

Tiresias
posted to MetaFilter by Joey Michaels at 4:43 PM on August 27, 2008

Classier than this?

Posting a cheap, misinterpretted, out-of-context YouTube trollwar clip? Yes, much classier.
posted to MetaFilter by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 5:26 PM on August 27, 2008

Let the viewer decide much?

As the viewer, yes, your comment was not classy.
posted to MetaFilter by Snyder at 5:32 PM on August 27, 2008

Man, how you gonna choose a nine-year-old girl by her good looks.
posted to MetaFilter by Citizen Premier at 2:31 AM on August 27, 2008

I run a stupid site where I send stupid letters to companies. I sent Disney a letter. I kinda expected a legal threat or at least a rejection, but no.

I intend to eventually put it up on my site, but here it is:


June 9, 2008

Licensing Proposal – Publishing
Disney Publishing Worldwide
Attn: Business Development
114 Fifth Avenue
New York, NY... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by cjorgensen at 8:07 PM on August 22, 2008

The Lion King is Hamlet

See also Kimba the white lion.
posted to MetaFilter by Wolof at 10:13 PM on August 22, 2008

"Pascal Henry" is an anagram for "Cheap, sly, ran". Coincidence or what?
posted to MetaFilter by weapons-grade pandemonium at 2:05 AM on August 19, 2008

This is really cool - though I can't help but think that if it'd been built in an American mall, it'd be used for streaming advertisements.
posted to MetaFilter by wanderingmind at 10:15 AM on August 3, 2008

I love MST3K, but that was the cinematic equivalent of penciling a mustache on someone's picture.

I would like to see more of this actually, imagine some of the great scenes redone-

John Travolta and Uma Thurman twisting with a big handlebar and a goatee

Scarlet O'Hara coming down the stairs with a big set of muttonchops

Cary Grant running from that cropduster with a nicely trimmed vandyke...
posted to MetaFilter by pupdog at 9:49 PM on July 27, 2008

I'm hoping the next step will be someone writing the book up in SCUMM.

Ooh, or maybe Inform:

Moment of death
You are floating in an open plane, west of a clear light emanating
from nothingness.
There is a mailbox here.

> examine mailbox
The mailbox is only an illusion.

> reject light
You see another, different clear light.

> reject... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by cortex at 7:45 AM on July 23, 2008

I choose to believe the phone found its way at the bottom of the pool during a tantrum. I'd like to have seen that.
posted by rlk

The phone is at the bottom of the pool because it was easier for him to communicate with people from there. Deep down he wasn't a bad person.
posted to MetaFilter by micayetoca at 8:08 PM on July 20, 2008

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA! Hooo! Whew! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! 1995 called and it wants its....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

can't breath
posted to MetaFilter by The Light Fantastic at 9:05 AM on July 18, 2008

In Joe's defense, though, he is singing from the deck of a ship in a raging storm, in the epicenter of an earthquake, with flying objects too small to be seen on video flying toward him, and all the while being forced to power the amps and equipment for all of Woodstock using only the kinetic energy of his arms and neck.

Or at least, I assume he is. That's what it looks like he's doing, anyway.
posted to MetaFilter by roombythelake at 11:30 PM on June 20, 2008

heh, balls...Cocker....
posted to MetaFilter by Slarty Bartfast at 10:18 AM on June 21, 2008

To try to argue against them on a rational level signals not only a stunning blindness to what 90% of the world believes in but also that you don't understand the argument, so you should really just sit down and listen.

Sure. And let them run things too. Let them staff the schools, stack the courts, and pass laws that dictate what I am and am not legally allowed to do based off of an absurdist fairy-tale.
posted to MetaFilter by sourwookie at 9:32 AM on June 15, 2008

Yeah, most of my flesh on one arm is turning weird colors, and it's been sloughing off for a few days now. I dunno, I was gonna go to a doctor, but the're probably just gonna say it's like a brown recluse bite (in which case, hello, too late, doc, it already bit me) or gangrene or something. Anyway, it's mostly fine except for when I'm sleeping, 'cause it's been making a mess on the sheets, and I have to change them kind of a lot. At this point, it may just be easier to buy a set of sheets... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Greg Nog at 5:36 AM on June 6, 2008

Hm. So they're betting that at least 60% of their team is Raptured - kind of arrogant odds there.

Also note that their system doesn't do a very good job distinguishing between the Rapture and catastrophic events (eg, large-scale nuclear attack), never mind really bad luck (eg, two team members die and the third's lost in the Australian outback in a wacky mixup involving a Thai ladyboy and a koala).
posted to MetaFilter by Tomorrowful at 9:12 AM on June 3, 2008

Why not 5? If a single team member is Left Behind, he or she could manually launch, right? Or is the theory that they'd be so bitter they wouldn't do it? In which case, couldn't they sabotage the automated process anyway?

This whole thing is starting to sound implausible. But maybe before I dismiss it as drug-induced raving I should read the source.
posted to MetaFilter by DU at 9:14 AM on June 3, 2008

Is there a similar service for moms and grandmas that allows them to keep forwarding you daily spam-like unfunny joke lists and uninteresting, long-debunked rumors, in perpetuity after they die?
posted to MetaFilter by dgaicun at 9:59 AM on June 3, 2008

I always thought the Left Behind series was about some sort of asymmetrical ass fetish.
posted to MetaFilter by srboisvert at 10:29 AM on June 3, 2008

Dear me:

On the one hand, it was pretty funny when you ironically signed up for this damned thing and put yourself on your own recipient list, so, you know: kudos.

On the other hand, I guess this is kind of an egg-on-the-face situation w/r/t biblical literalism. Way to fuck that one up. Just be glad that no one who could call you on it is around to do so.

On the other other hand, free stuff. Hop to it.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by cortex at 10:30 AM on June 3, 2008

The biggest danger to these isolated peoples may be these fuckers.
posted to MetaFilter by 1adam12 at 6:16 PM on May 29, 2008

This reminds me of that story from the second continental congress where Jefferson's skittering clockwork vagina snagged Ben Franklin's shoe buckle.
posted to MetaFilter by bunnytricks at 4:30 PM on May 19, 2008

Did you ever rescue the king in Super Mario Bros?
posted to MetaTalk by Kattullus at 9:07 PM on May 8, 2008

Plus, I hear the guy that runs it is a handsome rogue.
...which is an anagram of "underage homos", but no-one should read anything into that.
posted to MetaTalk by Wolfdog at 3:48 AM on May 9, 2008

THANK YOU MARIO!

BUT OUR PRINCESS IS IN ANOTHER CASTLE.
posted to MetaFilter by ShawnStruck at 7:23 PM on May 8, 2008

Prospective parents, take note:

Good names
Tommy Saab.
Beretta Ferrari.
Remington Ford.
Walther Renault.
Winchester Lincoln.
Spencer DeLorean.

Bad names
Colt Oldsmobile.
Spandau Citroën.
Sten Jeep.
Kalashnikov Volkswagen.
M16 BMW.
Uzi Nissan.
posted to MetaTalk by Sys Rq at 10:16 AM on May 11, 2008

Man, if only Nissan cars just gave the guy a million for the domain in 1999, this could have been all avoided and saved everyone money, time, and frustration.

Expect a letter from my lawyer, Haughey.
posted to MetaFilter by Mr. Metafilter at 5:48 PM on May 10, 2008

America 1-3 were destroyed during the first DC Crisis. I think america666 shows up in 'Final Crisis'.
posted to MetaTalk by GuyZero at 10:26 PM on May 13, 2008

He's an idiot, but that doesn't mean he's a pedophile.

As someone who just took a ride in an elevator without remembering to choose a floor, I am very relieved to hear this.
posted to MetaTalk by mullacc at 4:51 PM on May 15, 2008

Hillary Clinton still thinks she can be president.
posted to MetaFilter by fourcheesemac at 8:47 PM on May 12, 2008

A man and a little boy are walking in the forest, when the boy says "It's getting dark, I'm scared."

"You're scared," replies the man, "I'm the one who has to walk out of here alone!"
Wah-Wah-Wah-Wawawaaaaah
posted to MetaFilter by dgaicun at 9:10 PM on May 12, 2008

Q. What's the difference between an epileptic cornhusker and a prostitute with diarrhea?







A. An epileptic cornhusker shucks between fits.
posted to MetaFilter by Crotalus at 1:27 AM on May 13, 2008

Q: Why wouldn't Hellen Keller's dog come when called?
A: Because it didn't like to be called hrrUUergnf!

Q: What do you get when you throw dead babies into a woodchipper?
A: An erection!
posted to MetaFilter by The Power Nap at 9:15 AM on May 13, 2008

Is Meatwater Cocktail redundant?
posted to MetaFilter by ColdChef at 2:00 PM on May 8, 2008