October 16, 2001

9:25 AM

Man Murders Wife Over 'Disgusting Coffee'. Time to switch to decaf!
posted by kingmissile (17 comments total)

Holy fark.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:37 AM on October 16, 2001

Decaf is disgusting.
posted by tankboy at 9:39 AM on October 16, 2001

I'm gonna go out on a limb and suggest this guy has some problems that go beyond a suspicion of Juan Valdez.
posted by aaron at 10:06 AM on October 16, 2001

That's almost as good as the woman from my home town who tried to kill her husband with a frozen squirrel (no link sorry it happened in the early 80's)
posted by miss-lapin at 10:14 AM on October 16, 2001

Well, miss-lapin, you have moved me to actually do a Google search for the terms "frozen squirrel murder." More disturbingly, it came up with plenty of hits. Here's something I found in a thing called The_Mouth(you'll have to scroll down):

"In an unusual wife-battering case, Mr. Kao Khae Saeo-han, 26, of Sacramento, California, became hysterical and
repeatedly struck his wife with a frozen squirrel."
(Spectator, 1992)

(Hey, it's also "documented" in the Flummery Digest!)
posted by Skot at 10:32 AM on October 16, 2001

I bet he beat her with the frozen squirrel because he too felt his coffee was "disgusting".
posted by kingmissile at 10:40 AM on October 16, 2001

Yes, I'd like a large Caffe Disgustoso, hold the squirrel, please.
posted by groundhog at 11:00 AM on October 16, 2001

"Good to the last drop dead."
posted by ColdChef at 11:05 AM on October 16, 2001

We've replaced the fine coffee this 84-year-old man usually drinks with Folger's Crystals.

Let's see if he can tell the difference.

Oh. Oh dear.

Looks like he could tell the difference.
posted by Kafkaesque at 11:48 AM on October 16, 2001 [6 favorites]

On a Not Even Mildly Related Note:

What was the theme music to the widely-broadcast coffee commercials of a few years back? Not for a particular brand, but just for Colombian Coffee. It was the commercial with the waterfall, the somber narration, etc.

I swear this is a classical piece, but I can't place it. Want me to hum it? :)

I'm posting this before my Common Sense Kicks In.
posted by ebarker at 12:17 PM on October 16, 2001

Kafkaesque:

Funniest. response. ever.
posted by adampsyche at 12:38 PM on October 16, 2001

Kafkaesque, that made me burst out laughing. Great stuff hahahah
posted by kingmissile at 12:41 PM on October 16, 2001

ebarker: it was Ennio Morricone's soundtrack to The Mission. I only know that because it annoyed me that they used it in a commercial...
posted by transient at 1:05 PM on October 16, 2001

Man kills wife with hammer = Tragic case of domestic abuse.

Man kills wife with hammer over a disgusting cup of coffee = hil-LARE-i-ous.

(Sorry. Don't mean to get all "more-sensitive-than-thou" on y'all, here. But really: c'mon.)
posted by Shadowkeeper at 2:54 PM on October 16, 2001

Actually, I'm sure I could make jokes about it anyway.

Remember, tragedy happening to someone else = comedy.

In the words of George Carlin "More for me!!"
posted by Kafkaesque at 3:15 PM on October 16, 2001

MetaFilter: Oh. Oh dear.
posted by jpoulos at 7:12 PM on October 16, 2001 [1 favorite]

I like

MetaFilter: More-sensitive-than-thou
posted by Kafkaesque at 8:57 AM on October 17, 2001