Things that change after University
January 28, 2002 10:21 AM   Subscribe

Things that change after University Any other ideas?
posted by feelinglistless (33 comments total)
 
firstly, i have to point out that that is a (fantastically) parochial list. goodonya!

51. Locals are not your enemy.
52. You do not think you are indestuctible when crossing the road in heavy traffic.
posted by asok at 10:32 AM on January 28, 2002


53. Bongs before breakfast are no longer a "great idea!"
posted by cashmein at 10:34 AM on January 28, 2002


an extension to the 'sleeping at desk' top ten, number 5:
my physio/chiropracter/alexander/pilates/guru/psychiatrist advises that i 'not do' for at least 10% of my time to preserve looseness/energy/posture/wellbeing/chi/mental balance. i will be more productive in the long run.
or, i think better with my eyes shut.
or, someone put hot chocolate in the coffee machine.

well said, cashmein -
54. Bucket competitions/hot knives/lungs/step-ups/blowbacks/hot-boxes count as abuse.
posted by asok at 10:42 AM on January 28, 2002


an extension to the 'sleeping at desk' top ten, number 5:
my physio/chiropracter/alexander/pilates/guru/psychiatrist advises that i 'not do' for at least 10% of my time to preserve looseness/energy/posture/wellbeing/chi/mental balance. i will be more productive in the long run.
or, i think better with my eyes shut.
or, someone put hot chocolate in the coffee machine.

well said, cashmein -
54. Bucket competitions/hot knives/lungs/step-ups/blowbacks/hot-boxes count as abuse.
posted by asok at 10:42 AM on January 28, 2002


*time for me to lay off the anti-biotics*
posted by asok at 10:43 AM on January 28, 2002


bah. i can't BEAR stuff like this. add -
54. gets incredibly depressed and frustrated at the straitjacket generalisations made by simple people to force everyone conveniently into one of only four existing pigeonholes.
you know you're dead when...
1. you've stopped breathing!!!!
2. you no longer have consciousness!!!!!

or
take this quick quiz to find out whether you get too worked up over silly things like humorous lists.
posted by nylon at 10:49 AM on January 28, 2002


You mean stuff like that changes after college? Please, say it ain't so!

Can I just stay 19 for the rest of my life?
posted by tomorama at 11:00 AM on January 28, 2002


It all comes down to one thing really:

When you head out into the real world, you have the money to buy most everything you want, but no time to enjoy the things you buy; in college you have all the time in the world but lack the money to buy things for your enjoyment.
posted by etc. at 11:08 AM on January 28, 2002


When you head out into the real world, you have the money to buy most everything you want,

Not on my bloody salary!

47.Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

Anyone reading this knows that ain't true! ;)

Some more:

55. You can go out for a couple of drinks and get home before closing time.
56. You remember the last time you went to Amsterdam.
57. The local kebab shop knows neither your name nor what sauce you want on that.
posted by davehat at 12:05 PM on January 28, 2002


My Favorite:

AND THE #1 BEST THING TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK...

1. ".....in Jesus' name. Amen."
posted by physics at 12:33 PM on January 28, 2002


tomorama: I've only been out of school for 6 months, and already 2/3 of that list applies to me. (of course there may be more if I knew what a 'kebab shop' was)
posted by JonahBlack at 12:52 PM on January 28, 2002


*cries for this time last year

*cries for a donner kebab
posted by ajbattrick at 1:12 PM on January 28, 2002


Ah wait, I forgot... I'm sitting in my bedroom now and go to a sorry excuse for a University. I hardly get a chance to do most of that stuff in the first place. Here's looking forward to transfer applications!
posted by tomorama at 2:09 PM on January 28, 2002


Can I just stay 19 for the rest of my life?

Well, apparently you can stay young forever but the good people at Fabienne de France seem to be aiming for slightly younger than 19 if the photo is anything to go by.

As for this list, I take exception to most of it but particularly 27 and 50. For the former, wasting a decent curry is simply foolish - of course it should go in the fridge - and for the latter, that applied to being at University as well. Although there was that one time... when the damn thing wouldn't flush... and we had to carry out a public enquiry... and hold an in-depth discussion of proposed disposal methods... . But that was a saga. Like Lord of the Rings.
posted by MUD at 2:28 PM on January 28, 2002


#119...stop dating college girls...at the age of 34.
posted by clavdivs at 4:32 PM on January 28, 2002


60. Living in a state of constant nervous breakdown no longer signifies that you are intelligent or creative

61. People no longer look at you with the disdain reserved for college students. They look at you with the disdain reserved for homeless people, and they offer you money.

62. You know the good part about selling out.

63. You aren't cute or quaint, or naive. You are wierd.

I don't have a lot of issues, really I don't
posted by goneill at 5:14 PM on January 28, 2002


#119...stop dating college girls...at the age of 34.


But see, that's the great thing about college girls... I keep getting older but they stay the same age!
posted by spilon at 8:14 PM on January 28, 2002


You stop finding lists like this amusing...
posted by kerplunk at 7:26 AM on January 29, 2002


64. You stir from your self centered fog and realize that the government, the financial aid office, and your parents aren't infinte sources of income, and that something called "the real world" exists, where you have to pay your own bills and do your own laundry.

Christ, reading things like this and talking to recent grads and the grad school bound remind me why I dropped out of college in the first place. To get away from snotty, entitled, spoiled little holier than thou brats who think that there is more integrity in avoiding work at all costs, even if it means sponging off of everyone else in the world. get a fuckin job; what makes you so special?
posted by hipstertrash at 11:10 PM on January 29, 2002


i was one of those brats, and still am. it has to do with not wanting to be a cog. there are ways to avoid traditional jobs without sponging off others, though, or by sponging off them by being their employer to begin with.
posted by bingo at 4:44 AM on January 30, 2002


ah, to live the life of a filmic storyteller. one may suffer barbs from the jealous masses (third graph, after the quote), but at least one is not a cog.
posted by mlang at 9:00 AM on January 30, 2002


bingo - being a cog is not about what kind of job you do, and if you think that it is, then you need to grow up. i've served burgers, busted my ass humping boxes across a warehouse, worked retail, temped in offices, inventoried wine cellars, ran sound in a rock club, worked the graveyard at 7-11, spent time at a dot com, and quite a few others. and every step of the way i've fought tooth and nail to realize my goals in writing and music. its not just me, you might be surprised to know that quite a few 'cogs' out there are not the simple minded automaton plebes that you think we are. and when we succeed, we'll do it without grants or institutions or any of those other crutches that academic types are so fond of.
posted by hipstertrash at 12:34 PM on January 30, 2002


hipstertrash, get over yourself and get some perspective. If the person who says that "being a cog is not about what kind of job you do" doesn't realise that going to college or university doesn't define your personality then there's something awry. Do you honestly believe that everyone who goes to college or university is a loafer content to dick around on someone else's expense account? What about the people busting a gut just to make ends meet so that they can pursue their dreams (academically and professionally)?
posted by MUD at 4:50 PM on January 30, 2002


Christ, reading things like this and talking to recent grads and the grad school bound remind me why I dropped out of college in the first place. To get away from snotty, entitled, spoiled little holier than thou brats who think that there is more integrity in avoiding work at all costs, even if it means sponging off of everyone else in the world. get a fuckin job; what makes you so special?

Whoa.
posted by amanda at 5:34 PM on January 30, 2002


MUD - the people that you talk about exist, but i bet that they are out busting their ass at work or study, instead of whinging about kebabs and composing lists about how hard life is. there is a difference between going to university and university/academic culture ... the list here seems to come from the latter, and my comments as well are directed at the latter.
posted by hipstertrash at 5:42 PM on January 30, 2002


hipstertrash: I think you misunderstand me, because I essentially agree with everything you said after your first sentence. I don't think that people working shit jobs are necessarily stupid or narrow-minded people who don't want to do anything else. I've worked plenty of shit jobs too, and while I did, I thought of myself as a "cog" in the same way I used the word above. By "cog" I did not mean "someone stupid who has no ambition" but rather "someone who is giving precious chunks of their life to a machine that does not care about them." Often, for a lot of people, such sacrifices are necessary, and the relatively little career help I've gotten from academia doesn't make me an exception. Actually I have done almost everything you mentioned in your list of jobs, and I would never argue that an academic art education is necessary (or even necessarily worthwhile) in terms of creating good art.
posted by bingo at 5:52 PM on January 30, 2002


hipstertrash, get over yourself and get some perspective.

.....in Jesus' name. Amen.
posted by adampsyche at 6:01 PM on January 30, 2002


bingo - thanks for the clarification. I still, however, think that everyone should have the experience of cleaning toilets for a buck or taking it on the chin from some manager/customer becasue you need the money. The kind of humility and perspective you get from that kind of experience goes a long way towards building real integrity. Ever notice how people who have worked in food service behave at a restaurant? They generally leave their table cleaner, they don't snap their fingers and treat the staff like shit, and they tip well. If everyone knew what it was like to be a 'cog,' the world would be a much better place, IMHO.
posted by hipstertrash at 6:40 PM on January 30, 2002


....i bet that they are out busting their ass at work or study, instead of whinging about kebabs.......

No, no, no, no!

1. Kebabs are more often than not eaten only after an evening spent viewing life through the bottom of an amber tinted glass.
2. Such boozing seriously affects the threshold at which the brain can determine that which is edible.
3. One only knows one has eaten a kebab the morning after one has done so (pointers include the 'kebab' moustache and copious amounts of salad outside the front door), just before one goes to work/study.
4. It is a well known fact that Beer+Kebab+Chilli Sauce causes 'The Shits' and that this tends to 'break out' just before lunch.
5. 'The Shits' is a most certainly a type of 'Bust Ass'.
6. When one's ass is bust, one is likely complain about it being so. One might whinge about it even.

So I put to you this:

Instead, I bet that they are out whinging at work or study about kebabs busting their ass.
posted by davehat at 7:03 PM on January 30, 2002


The kind of humility and perspective you get from that kind of experience goes a long way towards building real integrity.

I am glad that you had that experience, hipstertrash, but please remember that everyone's experiences are different. If you got that result from that kind of experience, that doesn't mean that your experience is gonig to be like everyone else's, and some others may need different experiences to get to that point.

remind me why I dropped out of college in the first place. To get away from snotty, entitled, spoiled little holier than thou brats who think that there is more integrity in avoiding work at all costs, even if it means sponging off of everyone else in the world.

You aren't serious, are you? Cut your nose to spite your face lately? You would let a resentment at a group of people get between you and a college education?
posted by adampsyche at 7:19 PM on January 30, 2002


adam - yes, we all have different experiences in life, but I can't name one person who I've met in my entire life who couldn't benefit from scrubbing a grease trap or taking out the trash, especially the majority of university students (in the states, last I checked, only 25% of the population ever goes to college), many of whom have never had to lift a finger in their lives (working at daddy's office doesn't count). Nothing irks me more than some lefty psuedoradical with smooth, uncalloused hands going on about 'economic injustice' and the like. Executives who couldn't make it for one day in their own factories. Or an 'artist' who thinks that their talent entitles them to an easy life devoid of any real world concerns. And yes, those people were a big part of why I left school, insofar as they exemplify their environment. These attitudes and behaviours are a product of academe, that lumbering, diseased, syphilitic carcass of intellectual aristocracy. Inbred, corrupt, elitist, business school and liberal arts alike, institutions of higher education seem to do little but propogate self serving ideas and individuals, and breed contempt for the unwashed masses beyond classroom, boardroom, studio, conference, etc. From the old boys network to the prize committees, those groomed by the academy to be 'leaders' are more and more chosing not to give back, but to keep on taking. They may have soft hands and straight spines, but I'd rather know the sleep of a hard day's work than the sleep of sloth and gluttony.
posted by hipstertrash at 8:04 PM on January 30, 2002


I wonder, though, if the percentage of people who go to college and also know nothing but sloth and gluttony is really that high. In the ivy league, maybe. But an awful lot of people have to work their way through.
posted by bingo at 10:51 PM on January 31, 2002


"Outstanding..."

[Warren at the end of the tv series 'This Life' when he returned from travelling to find a fight had broken out between his old friends at a party...]
posted by feelinglistless at 2:45 PM on February 3, 2002


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