from the folks who brought you FaceParagraph

October 6, 2022 8:53 AM

Tired of image-sharing sites that don't aggressively compress every uploaded photo down to a 1K jpeg? Great news: now there's Kilogram, the lowest-quality photo sharing site on the internet.
posted by cortex (23 comments total)

T̛̟̲̹͕͉̀̄͆̒͛́͢ͅẖ̢̨̹̗̩͙̇̀͛̂̃͐͡ȃ̗̣͙͉̜̌́̉̚ñ̢̨̯̮̻̥͚̼̼̊̽̐́̂̔̒̑k̢̜̹̥̊͊̈́͘s̛̻̠̺̟̬̅̀͑̊̈́͢,̰̠͔̳̤̼̜̀̏͒͋̓̑͘͞ͅ ̢̭͙͇͚͙̤̙̋̈́̔̾́̆̔͠Į̖̭͈̜̖͗͛̂̿̒̀ ̡͎̪̳̝̲̖̀͆̓̂̀͞͝ḩ̥̪͇͈͓̞̼͖̈́̄͛̃̇̂̀̀͆͟͞ä̛̞͓͔̖̪͔̦̺́̉̑́͘̚͢͠͝t̛̛̞̺̯͍̺̼͉̊́̽͋́͢͠e̺͙̋̓ ̢̩͙͎̣̫͍͛͆͂̅́͘̕i̧̗̦̩̬̺̋͂͂̏͌͡t̡̢͕̼͚̳̥̯̣̅͗͆̍̈̔̀̓͜͝͡.̨̡̢̪̦̭̅͊̓͊͘͞
posted by gauche at 8:58 AM on October 6, 2022 [14 favorites]

Thanks! I hate it.
posted by drinkyclown at 9:01 AM on October 6, 2022 [6 favorites]

For when you really want a hangover but just don't have time to binge drink.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:03 AM on October 6, 2022 [4 favorites]

How did they get this cat scan of the inside of my brain
posted by bleep at 9:05 AM on October 6, 2022 [3 favorites]

More love for this over on MeFi Projects.
posted by BobTheScientist at 9:06 AM on October 6, 2022 [1 favorite]

Back before they invented autofocus, this would be a useful site!
posted by njohnson23 at 9:26 AM on October 6, 2022

If you step back from the monitor and squint just so, it still looks terrible.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 9:39 AM on October 6, 2022 [14 favorites]

Client: I sent you the image.

Me: Yeah, I got it. Our designer can't use that. Not for web and most certainly not for print. Did you look at the specs we sent you? They explain the resolution we need for --

Client: I sent you the image.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:49 AM on October 6, 2022 [38 favorites]

One could try ultra-compression with stable diffusion and see what eldritch horrors await in latent space.
posted by credulous at 9:56 AM on October 6, 2022 [5 favorites]

Metafilter should allow the img tag, but only with images from that site.
posted by Ahmad Khani at 10:00 AM on October 6, 2022 [22 favorites]

FWIW, it seems like if they modified this to compress to 4K rather than 1K it would actually be a fairly useful (relative to what they have now) service.
posted by milnak at 10:04 AM on October 6, 2022 [2 favorites]

Credulous - for those without a decent GPU, waiting several minutes for an image render would be a lot like throwback to early dialup days, nevermind the eldritch abominations!
posted by Enturbulated at 10:05 AM on October 6, 2022 [3 favorites]

Could you make the logo bigger?
posted by chavenet at 10:07 AM on October 6, 2022 [5 favorites]

Oh, this takes me back to the days of dial-up, and... anyone remember that fractal compression technology that had its own terminal, so BBSes could serve these ultra-compressed images that took like hours per image to compress?
posted by straw at 10:15 AM on October 6, 2022 [1 favorite]

Okay, so I pasted my picture into a Word document. How do I upload it to convert to this high quality version?
posted by straight at 10:29 AM on October 6, 2022 [4 favorites]

If you step back from the monitor and squint just so, it still looks terrible.

describe my tinder profile in 15 words
posted by NoThisIsPatrick at 10:33 AM on October 6, 2022 [8 favorites]

Reminds me of watching scrambled cable porn.
posted by Splunge at 10:44 AM on October 6, 2022 [5 favorites]

Client: I sent you the image.
During my time in print design I was working at a magazine and got a file from a client for a full-page ad. On a 3 1/2" floppy disc. Saved at screen resolution at the highest possible compression. I called the designer and they said "Yeah that's what they wanted, run it" but our art director refused.
posted by monkeymike at 11:18 AM on October 6, 2022 [4 favorites]

MOM! I"M DOWNLOADING! DON'T PICK UP THE PHONE!
posted by srboisvert at 11:32 AM on October 6, 2022 [6 favorites]

"posted by malevolent"

Yeah, it is.
posted by fedward at 11:42 AM on October 6, 2022 [3 favorites]

I remember when I would text pictures of interesting things I saw on a hike to my kids, and they sent replies asking me 'what the heck is that?'. Then I realized that Google was compressing my photos before sending them, turning necessary detail into mush (videos too!). That's the first time I realized that companies don't properly respect images and it made me so mad!
posted by eye of newt at 12:12 PM on October 6, 2022 [1 favorite]

It's growing faster than I expected so I've just added a search feature at top right, hoping it doesn't soon reach a point where I have to implement a proper dynamic/multi-page archive though...
posted by malevolent at 12:25 PM on October 6, 2022 [9 favorites]

I'm distressed by how many of these photos I recognize even in this form. Maybe it's time for me to step away from my computer for a bit.
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:31 PM on October 8, 2022 [1 favorite]