Budget Orgy Calculator

December 9, 2002 9:07 PM

Budget Orgy Calculator - tis the season for festivities, but all those galas can be a bit hard on the wallet. This handy party planner helps you to calculate your costs in advance and keeps you from forgetting important details.
posted by madamjujujive (8 comments total)

Gold lamé swaddled goats . . . $666.00
Virgin deaf-mute gospel choir . . . $510.00/day
Large slotted wooden spoons . . . $109.00
Roman style orgy at the Brookfield, Wisconsin Kiwanis Club Ballroom . . . priceless
posted by donovan at 9:12 PM on December 9, 2002

I want to know what the Market Price is for the virgins. I bought everything and it came to 9955.01. Just put it on my mastercard.
posted by MaddCutty at 9:54 PM on December 9, 2002

hehehe ... the picture alone would make that page worthwhile, but the idea of an orgy happening in a TGI Fridays' in Moonachie, NJ -- great stuff. Reminds me of an Onion article from a while back.
posted by condour75 at 9:55 PM on December 9, 2002

Jesus. Seems like I get invited to all the low-rent orgies. I haven't know what I've been missing!
posted by RJ Reynolds at 9:56 PM on December 9, 2002

Oh, and btw: "The value of a virgins Kesuvah according to the accepted Ashkenazi custom, varies between $12,987.00 and $13,782.00." (source)

(please also see: Exodus 22:16-17)
posted by RJ Reynolds at 10:02 PM on December 9, 2002

Four molasses-slathered toy poodles sets you back $2,100.00? Damn.
posted by Nothing at 12:18 AM on December 10, 2002

*dancing for joy here, madamjujujive!*
posted by MiguelCardoso at 7:22 AM on December 10, 2002

Wow. My orgies are so much less :::creative::: than this.
posted by Fabulon7 at 6:24 PM on December 10, 2002