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March 28, 2003 10:46 AM   Subscribe

Dog Island
posted by Pretty_Generic (37 comments total)
 
Oh, that's spectacular. It almost reads like a parody, but I'm almost sure that it's real. Oh, God, I hope that it's real.
posted by willnot at 10:54 AM on March 28, 2003


For what its worth, I checked the WHOIS database on the domain name, and if it is a hoax, then they at least went to the trouble of doing this:

The Dog Island
P.O. Box 7768
Tallahasse, Florida 32311
UM

Domain Name: THEDOGISLAND.COM

Administrative Contact -
Han Fei - HanFei@TheDogIsland.com
The Dog Island
P.O. Box 7768
Tallahassee, Florida 32311
UM
Phone - 888-233-3890
Fax - 801-751-2475
Technical Contact -
Han Fei - HanFei@TheDogIsland.com
The Dog Island
P.O. Box 7768
Tallahassee, Florida 32311
UM
Phone - 888-233-3890
Fax - 801-751-2475
posted by woil at 10:59 AM on March 28, 2003


Check the FAQ. "Dogs LOVE hurricanes!"
posted by rschram at 10:59 AM on March 28, 2003


Sorry guys. Snopes.
posted by mr_roboto at 11:02 AM on March 28, 2003


My dog is small but still attacks bigger dogs. Will it be safe?

Yes. Dog Island is actually a small complexes of islands. There is one island reserved for the miniatures like Chihuahas and tiny poodles. If your dog falls into the tiny dog category it will find itself wonderfully happy on the tiny dog island


I wish this wasn't a hoax. "The Tiny Dog Island" should be a real place.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 11:04 AM on March 28, 2003


mr_roboto - how dare you try to spoil that magic that is Dog Island. It's real. Real I say! I'm not listenting to you. Tra-la-la-la-la!!! Not listening. Real.
posted by willnot at 11:07 AM on March 28, 2003


From the FAQ:

For years human beings have owned other human beings. This was called slavery. During times of slavery, slave owners talked about the difference between treating their slaves in a "good" way and in a "bad" way. The issue was never, should we or should we not own slaves. For a more detailed discussion of this notion, see Valerie Martin's book Property.

They think they're being satirical. But this is in fact the point of Gary Francione's Animals, Property and the Law. Wonder what he would think of Dog Island...

P.S. willnot, you weren't really serious, were you? Did you read the part about whether one's dog might get killed and eaten? Priceless.
posted by soyjoy at 11:08 AM on March 28, 2003


"Life here is a bitch. Her name's Punkin."
-- Ch. Clytemnestra's Brown 'N' Serve
posted by LinusMines at 11:08 AM on March 28, 2003


mr_roboto you've ruined my day.
posted by xmutex at 11:10 AM on March 28, 2003


my favorite FAQ moment...

Every now and then some dogs gang up and kill and then eat another dog, but this is just natural, and it's okay for it to happen now and then, but normally this is not the case.
posted by VulcanMike at 11:11 AM on March 28, 2003


Joke or not, this is priceless.

We apologize to not offer this to poor people but it takes an enormous amount of money to afford this type of beauty.
posted by nramsey at 11:18 AM on March 28, 2003


another golden nugget from the FAQ...

Dogs should live free, should live lives unfettered by humiliation due to forced public defecation and having to walk on a leash.
posted by darainwa at 11:25 AM on March 28, 2003


How can anyone think this is for real? It's very funny though.

I'm not a dog person, so I guess I smelled B.S. (D.S.?) right away. I mean, imagine an island with a couple hundred mixed breed dogs running wild. They'd be tearing each other apart, mostly starved and eventually resorting to cannibalism. Not to mention the smell.

Funniest thing I've seen all week.
posted by jeff-o-matic at 11:26 AM on March 28, 2003


heh. they say they have socio-dogologists.


Care Networks
James Laclara, one of our socio-dogologists, has been observing the village effect on all of the Dog Islands. They have identified key members in the community. One Irish setter has a tremendous antibiotic in her lick and has become the medical attention go-to dog. She has been given a privileged cave position and is often honored by the dogs in a circle. They are also aware of who to go to in disputes. A rather elegant great dane is always consulted before any disputes are taken too far (unless they happen in the far off hills).


very funny, nicely done.
posted by th3ph17 at 11:35 AM on March 28, 2003


Something to tell the kids, maybe?

"No, no dear... Rex isn't dead; we just sent him off to the Dog Island where he can be happy forever and ever."
posted by kaibutsu at 11:37 AM on March 28, 2003


mostly starved and eventually resorting to cannibalism

Sure, in rare instances that happens, but they stocked the islands with a bunch of rabbits, and rabbits breed very quickly.

Plus they seperate the dogs into Huge Dog Island, Normal Dog Island and Tiny Dog island. And, new arrivals are given an opportunity to "pack-up", so they can protect themselves and form social structures.

Do you think these people are idiots? The've thought this through.
posted by willnot at 11:40 AM on March 28, 2003


Hate to burst the fantasy but...

Check out the what's new
posted by Windopaene at 11:52 AM on March 28, 2003


I'm starting work on a screenplay right now... "Shipwrecked on Dog Island".

It'll be like Lord of the Flies... but with dogs.
posted by BobFrapples at 12:00 PM on March 28, 2003


The most interesting things have happened!! They are beginning to create sub socities in the trees.

That was what tipped it for me.
posted by stbalbach at 12:23 PM on March 28, 2003


I know people that own sheephearding dogs in the city that rent out sheep (I shit you not) once a month, on a farm outside the city, just to let their dog run free with the sheep and feel happy with his hearding instincts.

People pay real money for this.

The first time I saw Dog Island a couple weeks back, it didn't come off as a total joke right off, but as I read the copy I realized it. It's closer to reality than you think.
posted by mathowie at 12:24 PM on March 28, 2003


The phone number works, and matches the site - it even works from Canada.

1-888-233-3890

"Hello. Thank-you for calling Dog Island where all dogs are free forever. Sorry we were unable to take your call but we would love to speak to you - so at the tone please leave your name, your dog's name, your phone number and your email address. Have a wonderful day... bye-bye!"
posted by Fat Elvis at 12:35 PM on March 28, 2003


mathowie: Sorry, but you've lost me there. What's so bizarre (I shit you not) about paying to take part in an activity that's fun, interesting, takes skill to learn and do well and is harmless?
posted by normy at 12:55 PM on March 28, 2003


Does anyone remember the link to or name of the wealthy dog that supposedly has his own mansion in Florida, complete with attractive 20 somethings to wait on him? There was a thread about it a while ago, but I can't seem to find it.
posted by pjgulliver at 1:15 PM on March 28, 2003


I'm starting work on a screenplay right now... "Shipwrecked on Dog Island".

It'll be like Lord of the Flies... but with dogs.


forget the screenplay - this could be Dog Big Brother. With the right funders we can make it happen

why is this thread here? it has nothing to do with the war...
posted by simcd at 1:35 PM on March 28, 2003


I giggled hysterically at:

But what do the rabbits eat?
A crew of 15 vegetation restoration engineers are constantly planting large patches of wild carrot.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 1:51 PM on March 28, 2003


pjgulliver: Your thinking of Gunther. Check out this metafilter thread, it's priceless.
posted by elwoodwiles at 2:20 PM on March 28, 2003


On preparing your dog:
Certain things you can do is to start finding rodents and squirrels for the terriers to kill. This is his natural instinct and without that outlet, he will look towards other dogs and even sometimes babies. We can't have that happening.

The toll-free number is ridiculously good.
posted by linux at 3:21 PM on March 28, 2003


I don't understand how this is makes any sense as a commentary, or parody or whatever of the practice of eating dogs in China, as mentioned by Snopes. Now all they need is cat island for the cats eaten in China, and a chicken isla.. I'm getting tired.

By the way, who is Snopes, mister-know-it-all?
posted by hama7 at 9:11 PM on March 28, 2003


I guess the idea was that this would get accepted as real, and someone somewhere would make the connection with the Chinese Chow Dog industry names and locations, and there would be public uproar that the dogs were really going into cans.

Very cool idea. Damn Snopes.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 9:36 PM on March 28, 2003


I knew it was a joke from the get go. As a dog owner who has visited many healthy dog sites espousing the benefits of raw food for dogs - dogs don't cook, so raw is what they are supposed to eat - this played as a pitch-perfect parody. What a letdown to discover it has something to do with eating dogs. What, I have no idea.
posted by eperker at 11:07 PM on March 28, 2003


I think this makes somewhat of a point. Although I can't find a direct reference, does anyone remember the Onion article that went something like "Family dog scolded for acting like dog?" And it's true. People yell at their dogs to stop barking, stop sniffing the new guests' crotch, not to dig a hole in the back yard, hump things, etc. Anyone who knows a bit about canine behavior (or has read Desmond Morris's Dogwatching) knows that all the above "problem behaviors" come naturally to our canine friends.

And so, perhaps all pet owners should try to make little dog islands in their souls, where pooches are free to be the way evolution has guided them.
posted by LimePi at 11:10 PM on March 28, 2003


It really would be cool if 75 dog translators were really going to Dog Island... Imagine all the information we'd be able to glean!
posted by SweetJesus at 12:34 AM on March 29, 2003


Better idea: how about a "war-protester island" where we could send all of those opposed to Operation Iraqi Freedom, where they could live a "natural" life without working themselves into a lather over the anxieties of modern living.

Heh.
posted by davidmsc at 8:44 AM on March 29, 2003


Operation Iraqi Freedom. That's funny.
posted by muckster at 11:05 AM on March 29, 2003


...how about a "war-protester island"...

Considering how outnumbered the war mongers are by those who are pleading for peace, it seems that it shouldn't be the war protesters who are exiled from the rest of society....
posted by bshort at 1:06 PM on March 30, 2003


"war-protester island"

We already have that. It's called Manhattan.
posted by muckster at 3:33 PM on March 30, 2003


I know people that own sheephearding dogs in the city that rent out sheep (I shit you not) once a month, on a farm outside the city, just to let their dog run free with the sheep and feel happy with his hearding instincts

I love that people do this, I don't see anything weird about it at all. It's fun for the dogs and gives them a lot of exercise (a tired dog is a happy dog). I'm happy to see things like this, it's activity that people can do with their dogs and the dogs love it. It's also letting the dog do what he was bred for, which is very beneficial to the dog's state of mind (herding breeds will often herd anything and everything, which can be annoying if what they herd is you or children, providing the dog with an outlet for those instincts can often help you learn to control when and how the dog exhibits the behaviour). You can also compete in American Kennel Club-sanctioned herding events with your (purebred) herding breed dog, and you have to practice somehow if you don't live on a farm with access to herdable animals.

Dog Island is hilarious. It's a bit disturbing that anyone at all might think it was a good idea, though.
posted by biscotti at 4:10 PM on March 30, 2003


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