Extreme Kidnapping

May 19, 2003 10:40 AM

Tired of extreme sports? Need a new thrill? Extreme Kidnapping, the brainchild of Mr. Scrillian, a rap artist from Detroit, is looking to provide thrill-seekers with the ultimate in adrenaline rushes. For as little as $500 you can experience a "No-Frills Adrenaline Amp Kidnapping", or go whole hog with a custom videotaped "Standard Kidnapping" complete with restraints and mock torture.

Is this the next wave of extreme sport?
posted by greengrl (25 comments total)

"...complete with restraints and mock torture."

For $1K I'd better get some real torture.

And I'll bring along my own restraints.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:48 AM on May 19, 2003

So, I want to be a kidnapper. Where do I send my resume?
posted by Mekon at 10:55 AM on May 19, 2003

Hope any takers really know what they're in for.

I got faux kidnapped as a surprise introduction to my sixteenth birthday. As soon as I saw who did it, I knew what it was all about. I still wigged the fuck out after about five minutes.
posted by ursus_comiter at 11:00 AM on May 19, 2003

I wonder if they'll develop an Extreme Deliverance Package that includes mock anal rape committed by mock hillbillies playing mock banjoes.
posted by RylandDotNet at 11:07 AM on May 19, 2003

That's the great thing about technology. You can get mock anal rape that's virtually indistinguishable from the real thing!
posted by sonofsamiam at 11:09 AM on May 19, 2003

Too late, Already been done.
posted by destro at 11:16 AM on May 19, 2003

Who the hell ever said there are no such things as stupid questions? Sport my ass.
posted by Hall at 11:21 AM on May 19, 2003

This "idea" kidnapped from performance artist Brock Enright and his Videogames Crew.

Got lots of mainstream press last fall... also blogged on bud.com.
posted by Fofer at 11:22 AM on May 19, 2003

And done by the Jackass crew on Brad Pitt no less, although that was with his consent and he knew it would happen but it was fun watching people phone the cops going "You're not gonna believe this, but Brad Pitt just got kidnapped right in front of me."
posted by PenDevil at 11:32 AM on May 19, 2003

Is this the next wave of extreme sport?

No.

Any other questions?
posted by Ayn Marx at 11:35 AM on May 19, 2003

Wow. The first time I've read about something in Rolling Stone months before i've read it on MeFi. We really are going downhill, aren't we?
posted by jono at 11:36 AM on May 19, 2003

From the Standard Kidnapping description:

This is a dope experience when you consider your kidnappers could be the elite all-girls kidnapping team!

Could be? For a grand, I should hope that would be guaranteed.
posted by widdershins at 11:46 AM on May 19, 2003

Hey, what if I just slapped an "Extreme Kidnapping" magnetic sign on my car and started really kidnapping people? Wow, that'd be really "extreme"
Besides the been-there-done-that factor, this ratchets up my "man, what the fuck is wrong with people?" radar. Don't be to sound prudish, wait, yes I do, I think this is dumb.
posted by chandy72 at 11:55 AM on May 19, 2003

This is stupid. The Web site is laughable. oooOOOooo big scary kidnapping leatherettes and their wigger pimp daddy.
posted by archimago at 1:12 PM on May 19, 2003

"When performing as a rapper, Thick wears a real 3.5 pound octopus on his head..."

BET article
posted by sarelicar at 1:27 PM on May 19, 2003

Dretroit-area Metro Times article.
posted by pmurray63 at 1:53 PM on May 19, 2003

"When performing as a rapper, Thick wears a real 3.5 pound octopus on his head..."


Hoooo boy, I bet PETA must looooove him.
posted by alumshubby at 2:19 PM on May 19, 2003

take heart, jono
posted by mdn at 2:51 PM on May 19, 2003

I must admit, the thought of being "Bosley" to an elite all-girl kidnapping team does have a certain undeniable frisson.
posted by UncleFes at 2:52 PM on May 19, 2003

And what happens when you spend $1000 and you don't get the "elite all-girl" squad, but the "fat, middle-aged white guy" squad?
posted by aacheson at 2:55 PM on May 19, 2003

"give me back my son!"
posted by tomplus2 at 8:39 PM on May 19, 2003

I know of a dominatrix who's been doing this for years.

er ... I read about it somewhere. Was an ad, I think.

Really. Got caught in one of those porn pop-up traps while researching a book I'm writing with Pete Townsend.

I'll be standing over there, now.
posted by RavinDave at 12:16 AM on May 20, 2003

Extreme Stupidity.
posted by blue_beetle at 6:40 AM on May 20, 2003

I think we all know the real question is, why the ocotopus?
posted by SweetJesus at 9:24 AM on May 20, 2003

I think we all know the real question is, why the ocotopus?

He's from Detroit. He's clearly a fan of the Red Wings.
posted by ursus_comiter at 7:08 AM on May 21, 2003