Do Not Call 317-816-9336.

October 5, 2003 1:34 PM

Do Not Call 317-816-9336. Columnist Dave Barry takes on the American Teleservices Association again, publishing their new number (they had to disconnect their old one after he mentioned it in a previous column.) But please, don't call 317-816-9336, because to suggest "calling somebody who doesnt want to be called, even if you have the legal right to call, well, that's just plain rude."
posted by Fofer (39 comments total)

Just to save you all some time and to protect the longevity of your redial buttons, I managed to get through... and their voice mailbox was full. Good job, America.
posted by Fofer at 1:36 PM on October 5, 2003

BOOYAH!
posted by mcsweetie at 2:10 PM on October 5, 2003

Dave is great.
posted by Busithoth at 2:11 PM on October 5, 2003

There was a second toll-free number (866-500-4272) for their convention hotline, which worked a couple weeks ago, but seems to not be working now.

Sweeeet.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 2:12 PM on October 5, 2003

Burn the motherfuckers down.

Let's get more numbers! I have free nights and weekends on my cell.
posted by angry modem at 2:20 PM on October 5, 2003

Speaking of phone numbers of people who don't want to be called, does anyone want to track down the phone number of an ex-girlfriend for me? No? Okay.
posted by emelenjr at 2:29 PM on October 5, 2003

if you are going to call, please at least dial *67 first (or use a payphone, esp if it's an 800 number) -- no use getting your number into even more telemarketers' databases...
posted by dorian at 2:33 PM on October 5, 2003

I make it a point to live a lifestyle in which anyone who I personally would want to call me at any time, knows better than to ask for "Mister" anything when they call my number. "Is the man of the house available" gets an immediate hang up too. In fact I find I only stay in phone conversations longer than ten seconds, when it's a familiar voice and they say just, "hey." Then I say "hey." And then since they called me, they usually go on a couple sentences from there and by then if I don't know who they are, I know enough to know whether or not I wanna hang up on them.

Rude? Not at all. They called me. If I don't want to talk to them, they initiated the conversation and are therefore the ones being rude. Believe me. This approach works at least 95% of the time, and the other 5% I can smooth over later face to face by explaining I didn't recognize her voice and I get a lot of telemarketers.

It's never polite to end a relationship over the phone. Why should it be deemed polite to start one? We don't need a 'do not call' list. We need to learn to hang up on strangers and not feel guilty about it afterwards. The only reason telemarketers exist is because somebody somewhere doesn't hang up on them. Stop that. If you don't know them, hang up on them. Unless you think you can start conversations with strangers who call, just to try and convince them to quit their job.

TELEMARK: "Would you like a year's subscription to Worthless Magazine Monthly?"
YOU: "Would you like to quit your job and do something more productive and rewarding with your life?"
TELEMARK: "No."
YOU: "Well then you just answered your own question there, didn't ya? Buh-bye."
*click* See? Simple.
posted by ZachsMind at 2:42 PM on October 5, 2003

Looks like their site is now slashdotted too.
posted by carter at 3:52 PM on October 5, 2003

We don't need a 'do not call' list. We need to learn to hang up on strangers and not feel guilty about it afterwards. The only reason telemarketers exist is because somebody somewhere doesn't hang up on them. Stop that. If you don't know them, hang up on them. Unless you think you can start conversations with strangers who call, just to try and convince them to quit their job.

Two problems here.

1: They have allready wasted a chunk of my time just getting me to pick up the phone.

2: On occasion I do get the important call from a stranger that needs to be answered.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 4:37 PM on October 5, 2003

More contact info including phone number (202-293-2452) here.
posted by the big lizard at 4:41 PM on October 5, 2003

if you are going to call, please at least dial *67 first (or use a payphone, esp if it's an 800 number) -- no use getting your number into even more telemarketers' databases...

That might not work for all numbers. It definitely doesn't work for 800 numbers, as all they have to do is force the delivery of your number (which they can do). Regardless, since they're paying for the long distance, your number will show up on their bill.
posted by oaf at 4:54 PM on October 5, 2003

Regardless, since they're paying for the long distance, your number will show up on their bill.

Except that since 317 is just a regular area code in Indiana, not a toll-free prefix, they're not paying for the long distance.
posted by Acetylene at 5:31 PM on October 5, 2003

Lines busy.
posted by Keyser Soze at 6:15 PM on October 5, 2003

Don't just hang up, that's retarded. Say "put me on your do-not call list." Each telemarketer is required to maintain their own DNC list. They can be fined a lot of money if they call you again.



If you hang up, they'll just call again. If you actualy want them to stop, tell them to put you on their DNC. I havn't gotten a telemarketing call in a long time after I started doing that.
posted by delmoi at 6:18 PM on October 5, 2003

I always thought the point of having a do-not-call list was so that rather than take the time and effort to get on one myself, when I do get called by any telemarketer, I can now say "Hey!!! I'm on the do-not-call list!!! Your firm owes $11,000 as of this moment! Wooohooo! I'm rich!!!" and see how long after that they stay on the line.
posted by soyjoy at 6:29 PM on October 5, 2003

Zachsmind, I don't think most people who want to be on the don't call list have a problem hanging up on telemarketers, whether or not they take the additional 6 seconds to determine the identity of the person for certain (and some of us do need to be accessible to strangers or professional contacts).

The problem is, getting the phone interrupted the dinner conversation, or the movie you were watching, or whatever other activity you were engaged in. Sometimes this is no big deal. Other times it's seriously annoying. If it happens on a regular basis, the cumulative effect can feel quite irritating. And the thing is, we're not going to buy what they're selling, so they shouldn't want to call us anyway.

The only reason telemarketers exist is because somebody somewhere doesn't hang up on them. Stop that

telemarketers aren't just looking for conversation. The problem is, people buy what they're selling. If it didn't work, they'd have stopped long ago, but some suckers out there are going for it.
posted by mdn at 7:09 PM on October 5, 2003

Just like spam. Some loser right now is buying some shit that a spammer is selling.
posted by filchyboy at 8:39 PM on October 5, 2003

I agree with ZachsMind, in princple. However, no one I know, except people at the front door, calls my housephone. Between the hours of 9AM and 9PM, my housphone rings about 50 times a day.

Could I turn my ringer off? Sure. But then I'm losing the use of an item in my house that I *pay* to have. Do I need to have a housephone? No, it's a luxury item, and it makes it easier for my roommate to have friends over instead of the front buzzer ringing *my* cellphone and me having to buzz them in.

Put simply, telemarketers irk me because they feel they have a right to invade your privacy, which should just be unacceptable. If the Supreme Court deems the National Do Not call list to be not a valid answer to people's pleas, then there should be another answer. Because the way it is right now is a waste of time.

I'm not sure I agree with mdn, though. I don't know *anyone* who has bought anything via a telemarketer.
posted by christian at 9:24 PM on October 5, 2003

Between the hours of 9AM and 9PM, my housphone rings about 50 times a day.

Holy crap. If I received that many phone calls a month, in total, including ones I wanted to get, I'd turn off the damn ringer, permanently. I guess I'm weird that way.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:33 PM on October 5, 2003

I'm with the wonderchicken. My phone often goes days without ringing. And then, without warning, sometimes it rings as many as three times in a day!
posted by kindall at 10:57 PM on October 5, 2003

From their contact page:

Phone: [phone]
Toll Free: [phone]
[e-mail]
posted by rhapsodie at 11:12 PM on October 5, 2003

Shit, for my phone to ring 50 times a day, every single one of my friends would have to call me, well, 50 times every day.
posted by dg at 11:27 PM on October 5, 2003

I Love my country. It's been seven months since I got an unsolicited call. And then it only took me three seconds to say "T.P.S" and make them hang up on me.
posted by seanyboy at 12:09 AM on October 6, 2003

You don't realize how many telemarketers call you every day until you start looking at your caller id history, and discover that you had a dozen hangups that day.

That being said, I did the evil deed and completed a survey on the phone yesterday. I did so because the survey was directed at "republican voter", so I decided to take the opportunity to register my "republican" opinions.
posted by mosch at 12:27 AM on October 6, 2003

Surveyors are not telemarketers.

They're intruding just as much and are often just as annoying, but there is a difference (recognized by the National Do Not Call List) between information-gathering and selling.
posted by cCranium at 3:17 AM on October 6, 2003

Interesting, I see that the Do Not Call Registry has been shut down. Bummer. I was vaguely wondering if it would be possible to make a little application that people could run on their computer that would work in some sort of distributed computer model to generate and list every single possible phone number in the US. It'd be fun, but probably to more damage to the list than good.

Never mind.
posted by sycophant at 3:53 AM on October 6, 2003

I have no sympathy for the advertising industry argument that advertising via technologically improved methods such as email spam or telemarketing is a basic right. By that standard they would be allowed to plaster your bathroom and kitchen with billboards once a precedent was set to do so.

If you have the time, call the bastids twice!
posted by zaelic at 5:57 AM on October 6, 2003

I'm not sure I agree with mdn, though. I don't know *anyone* who has bought anything via a telemarketer.

no, no one I know has ever bought anything via telemarketer so far as I know - which may be an important point, as I haven't asked everyone I know to display their consumer history. But think about it: these are businesses. They would have gone bankrupt decades ago if they weren't making sales.

Anyway, I know for a fact people buy things via telemarketer, because for a summer during college I worked as a telemarketer. It was extremely depressing, for multiple reasons, one of them being how easily people are manipulated. (And yes, I'm ashamed, etc... I was young and desperate.)

I don't have a problem with surveys, actually. It's obviously not just the interruption, then - I guess the intent of the telemarketer is so clearly sleazy. Polls actually seem like a good thing (although no doubt some surveys are marketing-related...).
posted by mdn at 6:49 AM on October 6, 2003

I work in the telemarketing industry... I'm not the guy making the calls -- I've been writing software to support them.

People buy stuff off the phone all the time. While you might not know anyone who does, I can assure you that people do. The key, really, is figuring out how to call. Random phone dialing services - especially those weird recorded services - are a pure numbers game. The more professional houses target their calls to specific groups.. and I've got to tell you, with the right set of leads, the results can be pretty remarkable.

This law has people in the industry very, very worried at a time when it's difficult to find jobs out there. While there are definitely bad call shops out selling dubious products, there are also a fair number of telephone professionals out there making a living.

I'm on the Do Not Call list - personally, I think it's a good idea not to annoy people who have signaled that they don't want to be annoyed - but I do find it a little strange that politicians and nonprofits are given the right to annoy at will. What makes them special? Granted, there have been judicial decisions upholding the restriction of certain types of speech, but it'll be interesting to see how this all goes down in the end.

For a lot of smaller companies like the one I work for, tv ads are not really an option due to high production costs and the costs associated with the purchase of time. While we have a series of decent plans in place to survive what will be a very difficult time in the industry (we're more b2b), I'm not sure what some of the others are going to do. Place flyers on cars? Litter the landscape with signs, a la herbalife? I don't necessarily think it's a coincidence that all the other major media outlets (radio, television, newspapers) seem united against telemarketing -- presumably, they'll gain a lot from this.

One obvious thing, though -- if you want to permanently avoid unsolicited calls, just get an unlisted number.
posted by ph00dz at 7:12 AM on October 6, 2003

ph00dz: "The key, really, is figuring out how to call."

No. The key is in companies switching to inbound calling rather than outbound. If I want to buy a product from a company, I will call them. All they need to do is make themselves available. It's like when I go to a store. I'm not there five seconds and some salesperson comes up and asks if I need any help. Not yet I don't, no. I just got there. If I need help, if their store is so poorly organized I can't find it myself, I will let them know. OR I'll just walk out of the store and find some place not so poorly organized.

delmoi: Don't just hang up, that's retarded. Say "put me on your do-not call list."

Oh and that's not retarded? Actually believing they'd do what you ask? That's like clicking on the link at the bottom of a spam email which says, "if you do not want futher mailings please click here." All this does is tell the spammer that your email is viable, active, and regularly checked by a human being. They will pass your info on to someone else, or just change email addies and bother you again.

I had for awhile gotten into the habit of saying a spiel that was something like, "we do not accept solicitations at this number please take me off your calling list and do not pass my number on to any other companies or individuals thank you." This was all said quickly, in one breath, and nanoseconds before hanging up. That was before this recent madness where the courts now question the FTC's power to amass and police any do not call list. The law is obviously on the side of corporate interest again, so nowadays I just don't care. I have no intimate relationship with any corporate entity important enough for me to discuss issues over the phone with them. Especially if they're gonna go around passing my phone number to one another as if I were a cheap score date. The second it's obvious the person's not someone I know, they're gone.

Dave Barry is providing a public service and is to be commended, but it's not far enough. I wish Michael Moore would find out where all these CEOs of telemarketing companies live, and go door to door trying to sell hair brushes to them. That'd be funny.
posted by ZachsMind at 7:34 AM on October 6, 2003

Ugh. Thought I was done. Doesn't anyone else think it's strange that the default is that it's okay to annoy people, and one has to sign on to some list to say they don't want to be annoyed? It should be the reverse. We are enabling this behavior and therefore are quietly condoning it. I tolerate that no longer. There may be companies or individuals I would want to have call me. People who don't annoy me, but with this do not call list idea, the list could make it illegal for some specific companies to call me that I might want to have available to call me, while at the same time there's individuals or organizations exempt from the do not call list, from whom I do not want calls. This Do Not Call list doesn't cover the entire gamut. I don't want people calling me asking to do surveys, any more than I like being stopped at a mall by someone with a clipboard. The do not call list does not include charities and non profit organizations. They can still bug you.

This list is not the solution. In fact, if put into practice, this list could irrevocably validate outbound calling. I don't want that. I don't care how many jobs this may destroy -- I want outbound calling to be illegal. I had an outbound calling job once for about six months over a decade ago, and after that experience I now make a point to turn down any job that involves outbound calling. A few months ago I left a job and got a new one, partly on the grounds they were shifting from 100% inbound calls to about 50/50% and I've been on both sides of that phone. I don't wanna be there again. Another reason why corps find telemarketing valid is cuz there's people out there who foolishly do it. The solution is for people to stop enabling this sickness among corporations and organizations. Buying stuff over the phone in an outbound calling situation makes you an enabler. Working for such a firm makes you an enabler.

The solution is to make it illegal for corporations to sell their calling lists to other companies, or otherwise spread such information. The solution is to make it by default wrong to annoy people in their private homes. The solution is to uphold the fourth ammendment. The solution is not the do not call list.
posted by ZachsMind at 8:19 AM on October 6, 2003

Actually believing they'd do what you ask?

Well, given that their goal is to make money, not to annoy you (that's just incidental), of course they will. Why would they waste time calling someone who has as much as told them they won't buy from them?

Also, it's the law.

Also, there's a good amount of anecdotal evidence that it works.
posted by kindall at 9:26 AM on October 6, 2003

I do find it a little strange that politicians and nonprofits are given the right to annoy at will. What makes them special?

Cynical answer: the people writing the law are politicians, and don't want to hurt themselves.

Noncynical answer: Doing so would likely be unconstitutional anyway. Political speech gets about the maximum of protection, commercial speech near the minimum.

Nonprofits: they do good works instead of selling siding. You'll notice that we also don't tax them, or their stuff, unlike businesses.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:47 AM on October 6, 2003

For the good of the future of civilization answer:
americans don't need any more encouragement to buy more crap, but they could use more encouragement to participate in politics and society.
posted by badstone at 10:18 AM on October 6, 2003

Dave Barry is providing a public service and is to be commended, but it's not far enough. I wish Michael Moore would find out where all these CEOs of telemarketing companies live, and go door to door trying to sell hair brushes to them. That'd be funny.

For what it's worth, a recent slashdot discussion had names and phone numbers and email addresses posted in it, not to mention names and number of memebers of congress who voted against the do not call list.
posted by weston at 11:01 AM on October 6, 2003

Is this a trend or something? (scroll down.)
posted by soyjoy at 1:46 PM on October 6, 2003

Hail ZachsMind! Who's making you pick up that phone? Exactly.

Like Pavlov's dog, when the phone rings and you're eating dinner, why....why would you interrupt taking another mouthful of corn to get up and answer that phone?

Whatever for.

Let the answering machine handle it. You can get back to it after dessert.

You may very well be expecting an important call, but really...another 20 minutes is too late to call back?

You've only yourself to blame if you're angered by some telemarketers calling, really. One word. Nothanks *click*.
posted by alicesshoe at 4:08 PM on October 6, 2003

"Technology hasn't really turned out so hot, and I find a lot of comfort in that"

Warren Zevon, re: his imminent demise
posted by BentPenguin at 4:00 PM on October 14, 2003