Bitch Hit My Truck
May 19, 2004 6:56 PM   Subscribe

Bitch Hit My Truck: Is this for real?
posted by MiguelCardoso (49 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
Bizarre! I find it hard to believe the police would only tell him to fill out some form. That's a hit and run, which is a crime, and surely they could and would track Janae down with that much information.
posted by orange swan at 7:10 PM on May 19, 2004


There but for the grace of god go I.
posted by rks404 at 7:14 PM on May 19, 2004


And people said the Internet was only good for porn. Vigilantes never had it so good!
posted by loquax at 7:20 PM on May 19, 2004


I'd hit it.

The truck, I mean.
posted by ColdChef at 7:23 PM on May 19, 2004


Hope he finds her - I hate it when that happens and have been the victim of the age-old trick of someone slipping what appears to any onlookers to be a note under the windscreen wiper, except it was just a blank piece of paper. Luckily, a witness noted the registration number of the car and left their own note.

I wonder how the Texas Department of Public Safety feels about him copying one of their official forms and distributing it through his web site.
posted by dg at 7:30 PM on May 19, 2004


Yeah, Migs, it's probably for real. Some useful information, however, would be how much damage she did. If it's just a scratch, the cops wouldn't do much. They have bigger things to investigate, like the current baseball score and such.

I wouldn't be surprised if he's spending more on domain registration/hosting than the cost of a can of touch-up paint.
posted by mischief at 7:39 PM on May 19, 2004


It's a blank government form. What possible objection could they have?
posted by trondant at 7:41 PM on May 19, 2004


The cops don't give a shit. Sure, they'll take action if he hands them all the evidence, but I've seen cops care a lot less about much bigger matters.
posted by bingo at 7:42 PM on May 19, 2004


alls I know is the bitch better have my satellite
posted by clavdivs at 7:57 PM on May 19, 2004


Umm.. couldn't he have just e-mailed the photo to his friends who were at the party?

There are a lot of lawyers who would be happy to track her down. This just seems like an excuse to be a dick about it.
posted by PrinceValium at 7:58 PM on May 19, 2004


While we're at it, look out for a white hatchback Honda with MD license plate AK 2735.
posted by brownpau at 8:11 PM on May 19, 2004


What is it with vigilante www justice in Austin these days?
posted by birdherder at 8:12 PM on May 19, 2004


It just doesn't pay to fuck with us bad-ass, net-savvy Austinites, does it?

"Using technology to keep the proles in line since 1988."

...and our parks are now wifi, so muggers and annoying panhandlers, you'd best not fuck with anyone carrying a laptop! For that matter, stay out of the way of any white people with decent shoes.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 8:12 PM on May 19, 2004


My father recently had someone hit his car and drive off like this.
Fortunately there were witnesses, and the matter was resolved, but the police were more than willing to prosecute the driver with causing criminal damage and leaving the scene of an accident, if my father wan't totally satisfied with his response.
They even called my father to check up and see if the guy had done the right thing and paid for the damage. (This was in the UK.)

What are American cops for exactly? Shootin' black people and taking bribes? It all seems so terribly uncivilised.
posted by Blue Stone at 8:15 PM on May 19, 2004


Can the guy just post the woman's photographs, name and personal details on the Web and accuse her of hitting his truck? Just like that? What if the one eye witness (assuming there was one) made a mistake? Couldn't the woman sue for defamation and/or invasion of privacy? How can it be OK to call someone publicly a "bitch"? In Portugal at least it's considered a crime of agression to seriously insult someone ( even privately, although publicly is much worse) - as my long rap sheet will attest.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 8:17 PM on May 19, 2004


Miguel, you just don't get it, do you?

The BITCH hit his TRUCK.
posted by yhbc at 8:20 PM on May 19, 2004


What if the one eye witness (assuming there was one)

Assuming there was one? Dude, his name's Enrique. N-REE-K, got it? He is thoroughly documented as saying "That bitch hit your truck!" He obviously, hello, SAW the bitch hit this guy's truck! And not only that, but James heard her hit the truck - or, possibly, heard that she had hit it - that part's not completely clear.
posted by soyjoy at 8:41 PM on May 19, 2004


Shootin' black people and taking bribes?

Pretty much. But you forgot "stopping people who are driving older cars in wealthy areas for imagined offenses", like the cop did when I was in college. Just a note to any lurking American cops: if you're going to make up an offensive, make up something that it will be hard to disprove, like "you were weaving". Don't make up something that can be trivially checked to be wrong, such as "your taillight's out."

AK 2735

I'd be surprised if I were the only person who just Googled his license plate number.
posted by quarantine at 8:41 PM on May 19, 2004


Hee hee, Commish!

But I'll give you an example: he says that, since the alleged incident on April 25, she's been "fired" from Bahama Breeze. But Bahama Breeze seems to have very recently closed for good, as the parent company's restaurant locator apparently confirms.

Isn't it more likely that, since they closed their doors, they didn't so much fire their employees as make them redundant?
posted by MiguelCardoso at 8:44 PM on May 19, 2004


"I find it hard to believe the police would only tell him to fill out some form."

Obviously you've never had to call the cops after your car was vandalized. You'll be lucky if you get a form. "Ya. And?" is much more typical.
posted by y6y6y6 at 8:44 PM on May 19, 2004


Why does he have a login form?
posted by euphorb at 9:05 PM on May 19, 2004


To login with. Duh ;-)
posted by dg at 9:43 PM on May 19, 2004


Bitch better make me a turkey pot pie.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:15 PM on May 19, 2004


Bitch spilled my martini!
posted by Kwantsar at 10:19 PM on May 19, 2004


I appreciate the air of condescension with which you phrase the question.
posted by xmutex at 10:22 PM on May 19, 2004


LANCE: They should be fuckin' killed. No trial, no jury, straight to execution.... It's chicken shit. You don't fuck another man's vehicle.
posted by eyeballkid at 10:57 PM on May 19, 2004


Bitch gave birth to some lovely puppies. Ahhh.
posted by seanyboy at 11:53 PM on May 19, 2004


MiguelCardoso: As far as I know, it is perfectly legal to make accusations like this. However, she can file a civil suit against him for libel and defamation of character. Or so I understand -- legally-informed MeFites please correct me if I am wrong.
posted by moonbiter at 2:05 AM on May 20, 2004


Blue Stone: Your father may have been lucky with his local force. A friend of mine in Leeds a few years ago actually witnessed a car being stolen by 4 men *pushing it away*. (They'd already put the windows through and stolen the stuff from in the car.) They took pictures of the thieves and phoned the police about what was going on, two days later they phoned the police again to enquire as to whether they wanted the film or not, and were told to bring it in if they wanted to.
posted by biffa at 2:27 AM on May 20, 2004


she can file a civil suit against him for libel and defamation of character

Lawyer: So can you please explain, in your own words, what happenend.

Dude: Well, see, this bitch...she...um...hit my truck.

Her Lawyer: Objection!

Judge: Counselor, clearly this woman is a truck-hitting bitch. Objection overruled. Please continue.
posted by ColdChef at 7:14 AM on May 20, 2004


BITCH SET UP MY TRUCK
posted by bargle at 7:49 AM on May 20, 2004


That's a hit and run, which is a crime, and surely they could and would track Janae down with that much information.

His chances of getting APD interested are pretty thin. The damage to his truck seems fairly minor; early in 2003, my car was parked in the street in front of my house and got violently side-swiped in a hit and run. I called APD, they sent an officer out who looked at it, gave me the same "blue form" that this guy downloaded, and left the scene. That was the last I ever heard from them on it.

It was almost $10,000 worth of damage to my car, and the APD didn't give half a shit. Their interests lie elsewhere. (I'm sure the mutiple cops that I see running laser just about every other day on the small stretch of Mopac I drive into work are doing much more good busting people for speeding than they would be, oh... investigating real crimes.)

Not trying to sound bitter. Just pointing out that this guy's experience is relatively minor, and no, APD doesn't care, and isn't likely to do much to help.
posted by jammer at 7:50 AM on May 20, 2004


I think this guy's story is delusional, and he is really a stalker.

Why does he have odd, candid images of her taken totally unaware (she's clearly not acknowledging him)...but no images of his truck damage? The missing pictures that would support his story are really elemental to the situation, yet he chose to strangely omit them? Basically, I think he's couching his stalker intentions within a very flimsy story.

If I was "the bitch", i'd be frightened...
posted by naxosaxur at 7:57 AM on May 20, 2004


Janae was initially cooperative and apologetic when I first contacted her. She has since decided not to cooperate because she is worried that going through her insurance will hurt her job prospect of becoming the person that drives around in the Red Bull truck.

So he failed in his follow up with her. Presume this was by phone, he called her, didn't keep the phone #?
posted by thomcatspike at 8:52 AM on May 20, 2004


"Why does he have odd, candid images of her taken totally unaware"

Because he went back to the party and asked the people with cameras if any of them had pictures of that bitch who hit his truck?
posted by websavvy at 8:55 AM on May 20, 2004


In Soviet Russia, truck hit your bitch!
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:08 AM on May 20, 2004


I'm very, very sorry.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:09 AM on May 20, 2004


"In Soviet Russia, truck hit your bitch!"
That's usually the way it works in Texas.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 9:24 AM on May 20, 2004


it's a smear campaign. he just wants to be the "person that drives around in the Red Bull truck."
posted by mrgrimm at 9:24 AM on May 20, 2004


I'm surprised the insurance company isn't all over this (I'm less surprised the cops don't care), since it's their money. I'd be looking for a new insurer after all this was over, if it was me.

Of course, if it was me, I wouldn't be creating that kind of web page, either.
posted by tommasz at 9:25 AM on May 20, 2004


tom: probably because the damage isn't enough to warrant. Besides, they're just gonna jack up his rates to cover it.
posted by mischief at 9:31 AM on May 20, 2004


Maybe he actually dated her, she was driving the truck when it got damaged and he completely forgot about the accident because he had his memory erased. So he made this website instead, and now they're going to end up getting back together.

Also, Elijah Wood is involved.
posted by drezdn at 10:40 AM on May 20, 2004


What are American cops for exactly? Shootin' black people and taking bribes? It all seems so terribly uncivilised.

Mostly it involves busting potheads. And gays. And, here in good old North Carolina, unmarried cohabitors.

Seriously, I don't go to the cops anymore, for anything, ever. They're worse than useless. Downtown Friday nights you can't swing a dead cat without hitting some overweight fuckwit beat cop parked trolling the streets ogling half-dressed college students, but call in an assault or a B&E and you're talking about an hour response time on a good night. A girl was murdered in a dorm room here a few weeks ago; the murderer called her father to tell him that he'd done it; her (out-of-town) father called the police who told him they'd "put a bulletin out on the suspect" and he was unable to get anyone to check the fucking dorm room to see if she was really dead for nearly half a day. Vigilante justice is the only justice anyone is going to get these days.
posted by IshmaelGraves at 11:07 AM on May 20, 2004


Actually ... my first reaction was to wonder what in the hell Miguel was actually looking for when he stumbled across this link. (Didja Google "Trucks"? "Bitches"? "Trucks AND Bitches"?).

You are one weird guy MC (but in a good way. Next time I'm in Portugal I've just gotta look you up and drink a couple of bottles of good oporto with ya).
posted by MidasMulligan at 2:49 PM on May 20, 2004


50% of US drivers should be banned on the spot. Actually, make that 80%.

Especially that twat that jumped out of his truck & ran in front of me to retrieve his pillow on US60 westbound in Arizona this morning. Unfortunately no pictures altho' he's lucky I haven't got an impression of his skull in my radiator grille.
posted by i_cola at 5:45 PM on May 20, 2004


I'm in Austin and I work in the insurance industry (the regulatory part - I am not the Devil) and I can't believe I am about to defend cops.

The police are not concerned with car accidents unless someone is physically injured. Your accusations are just hearsay unless there is a video/photo or eye witnesses that have no relation to you and are willing to testify. They don't have the time, or in most cases the caller doesn't have the actual proof, to go after someone after they have left the scene. It’s not worth their time trying to prosecute this person on the behalf of the state when all they have as proof is your story (and whatever physical damage you might have). If you're not blocking the roadway and no one is bleeding, they see it as a civil issue between two individuals and they offer the blue form. Police reports do not determine liability anyhow! They don’t have time or the resources to do a criminal investigation for a what will end up as a civil case.

One of the local Austin radio stations, KLBJ fm, actually arranged for this guy to get all of his bodywork done for free but he didn't take them up on the offer. So I kinda think he realized that this gotten out of control. On the other hand, you really do have to do all of the leg work for these cases. You can access great info online to make your case in court or to your own insurance company, but don’t wait for the cops to help you collect repair money, because they’re not going to bother.
posted by supershauna at 8:51 PM on May 26, 2004


Many thanks for that information and explanation, supershauna. More power to you for posting to a thread after it had run its course as when it's archived it will now have a satisfactory conclusion - a rare thing indeed!
posted by MiguelCardoso at 10:15 PM on May 26, 2004


The final chapter:
As a fitting end to this saga I will get drunk this weekend (May 29th) and take photos of myself to put on the site. After that the site will be gone for good...

- Patrick

posted by thomcatspike at 4:35 PM on May 27, 2004


Ahhhh...closure.
posted by ColdChef at 9:11 AM on June 17, 2004


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