I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something.

August 10, 2004 9:17 AM

"One time a guy handed me a picture of himself and he said. "Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is of when you were younger. Say, here's a picture of me when I'm older. How'd you pull that off? Let me see that camera."

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Comedy Stylings of Mitch Hedberg.
posted by Quartermass (28 comments total)

Jesus H that guy is friggin hilarious. I love his delivery and humor.

"I love escalators. Escalators are great. I love escalators because they cannot break. They can only turn into stairs. They should have a sign next to one that breaks, "Sorry About The Convenience".
posted by lazaruslong at 9:33 AM on August 10, 2004

Ah, Mitch, the man who inspired me to chase my dream of becoming a race car passenger.

"Hey man, can I turn on the radio?"

"You need to slow down."

"Can I put my feet up?"

"Wow, you really like Tide."
posted by jonmc at 9:35 AM on August 10, 2004

I saw him with the Comedy Central tour and he was tons better than Lewis Black (who may have sucked because he was using old material). So good!

I can't wait to get out of here. I have a roll of Life Savers in my pocket and pineapple is next!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:40 AM on August 10, 2004

"I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to as well."
posted by digaman at 9:40 AM on August 10, 2004

Yah, it's all about his delivery. It's not even funny reading his jokes as text on the screen. But hearing him deliver, holy shit he's funny.
posted by afx114 at 9:41 AM on August 10, 2004

"I don't have a girlfriend, I just know someone who would get really mad if they ever heard me say that."

[I just returned his Comedy Central special to NetFlix. Highly Recommended]
posted by ChasFile at 9:42 AM on August 10, 2004

"Gift certificates -- what a way to fuck up money."
posted by digaman at 9:44 AM on August 10, 2004 [1 favorite]

Another article on Mitch if you're interested. Very funny. His delivery is unique and really adds to the comedy.
posted by herc at 9:49 AM on August 10, 2004

Yah, it's all about his delivery. It's not even funny reading his jokes as text on the screen. But hearing him deliver, holy shit he's funny.

Yeah, but if you've heard enough of his stuff, you can hear him delivering it in his classic style in your head. Let that be a warning who aren't initiatied though.

I got the chance to see him live about a year and a half ago and was far from disappointed.
posted by Ufez Jones at 9:54 AM on August 10, 2004

Another "amen" to the "delivery is key". I can't think of another comedian for whom that's as true (except maybe Steven Wright).

I'm also a big fan of Frank Caliendo.
posted by Sidhedevil at 10:11 AM on August 10, 2004

I've never really dug the 'it's all in the delivery' stand-ups. Mitch Hedberg and Steven Wright both seem to fall into that category. They say things funny, not necessarily funny things (in my opinion).
posted by crank at 10:15 AM on August 10, 2004

can't think of another comedian for whom that's as true (except maybe Steven Wright).

I'm a big fan of Eugene Mirman.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 10:25 AM on August 10, 2004

Never heard of him, and all these gags you guys are quoting read pretty well to me. Now to start following the links...

(And Stephen Wright's gags aren't funny? Blasphemy!)
posted by rory at 10:31 AM on August 10, 2004

there was a twilight zone episode that involved a camera which would result in pictures of 20 minutes (I think) from when the picture was taken. With that you could take pictures of yourself when you were older. As I recall, it ended with them all killing each other.
posted by advil at 11:07 AM on August 10, 2004

I would have thought everyone would have heard of mitch by now. I saw him in a small club, but the owners now say he's too big for them to book.

It is, however, sad to see so many of his old jokes retold here. Kind of like having your grandmother sending you forwards about what kids don't know today.

The race car joke? Please, let it die...
posted by justgary at 11:33 AM on August 10, 2004

I'm with rory, some of these are chuckle-worthy as text alone. Having said that, anybody have mp3s or video of this guy's routine? I realize this is the Filter of All Things Meta, but sometimes you need the actual thing itself rather than just a good description.
posted by arto at 11:41 AM on August 10, 2004

well JustGary, some of us have never heard of him, or those jokes. *GASP* So sorry we aren't at your level of comedic awareness yet.
posted by Dantien at 11:51 AM on August 10, 2004

I saw him live a year ago. Good stuff. My favorite part of the show was when he pulled out this set of mini-stairs (like a prop, I don't know how to describe it), and he set his drink down on it. A couple minutes later he knocked it over, and it was an "oh shit" moment but got some good laughs. Later in the show he sat on the steps, and nearly fell off. Immediately he ad-libbed, "I should have learned my lesson with the drink".

My favorite Mitch joke: "Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only disease people can get mad at you for having. 'Dammit Otto, you're an alcoholic.' 'Dammit Otto, you have lupus.' One of these does not sound right."
posted by nath at 12:35 PM on August 10, 2004

JustGary, I heard Strategic Grill Locations a few years ago, and laughed my ass off. I listened to it again this morning when this thread was posted, and I still laughed my ass off. Just because he told the jokes a while ago doesn't make them un-funny. The race-car joke rules. Lighten up.
posted by Inkoate at 12:37 PM on August 10, 2004

"My lucky number is four billion. That doesn't come in real handy when you're gambling. "Come on, four billion! Fuck. Seven. Not even close. I need more dice."
posted by swift at 1:03 PM on August 10, 2004

I wanted a candy bar which was "HH" so I hit H twice, and fuckin' potato chips came out! They had an "HH" button! Christ - you gotta let me know!

I didn't learn my AA BB CC's god god dammit dammit.
posted by petebest at 1:24 PM on August 10, 2004

this guy's hilarious. going onto my netflix queue for sure.
posted by jcruelty at 1:26 PM on August 10, 2004

Thanks for the CoolerThanYouFilter post, JustGary. I know that I, for one, feel really bad about myself now.
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:50 PM on August 10, 2004

I would have thought everyone would have heard of mitch by now.

I'll try and get along to his Tampa show. Let me just check the Virgin Atlantic website...

(Okay, I see now that he's on That 70s Show, so I guess I've seen him on that. Haven't seen his stand-up, didn't know his name.)
posted by rory at 1:51 PM on August 10, 2004

Sidhedevil: thanks for the tip on Frank Caliendo. For those who haven't gone there, there's an 8 minute preview of his act that's hilarious.
posted by Turtles all the way down at 2:29 PM on August 10, 2004

My friends and I, when we used to do certain mind altering drugs, would deliver everything we said in this same style...

I wonder if there is a connection there...

Yeah I have been a Mitch fan for a while now... never seen him in a small club though.... oh well.
posted by LoopSouth at 6:06 PM on August 10, 2004

I'd like to add that, thanks to this post, Mitch got whatever percentage he gets for both his CDs and whatever good karma he gets for four people laughing their asses off for three hours.

The most recent CD comes with his Comedy Central DVD and is a Good Buy at 150% the price.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:17 PM on August 10, 2004

Mitch Hedberg. Now you're speakin' my language. He and Todd Barry are my two favorite comics right now, I think.

I saw Hedberg perform a couple of years ago. He was accompanied by a bass player. Very cool.

He needs to be on That 70's Show again, too. He had one scene in a first-season episode that I've ripped off for my own purposes countless times:
"I did not lose a leg in Vietnam so that I could come back here and sell hot dogs to teenagers."
"But you've got both your legs."
"Like I said, I did not lose a leg!"
posted by MrBadExample at 9:11 PM on August 10, 2004