A heart apart

September 3, 2004 9:51 AM

Bill Clinton has had a heart attack. Currently he is in a New York hospital awaiting emergency surgery.
posted by the fire you left me (41 comments total)

September surprise? /poor taste

Get well soon, Bubba.
posted by psmealey at 9:58 AM on September 3, 2004

You can tell its a fucking hideous day when Bill Clinton having a heart attack barely makes the headlines on the BBC
posted by ZippityBuddha at 10:02 AM on September 3, 2004

Uhm, that story never says that Clinton had a heart attack. It says "chest pains" and that he had a blockage, but those don't have to mean he had a heart attack. The only attack talked about in the story was about Cheney's third.
posted by skynxnex at 10:25 AM on September 3, 2004

Maybe they thought the hundreds of deaths in Russia of more importance?

(besides, it's on the frontpage, just not on the 'world' page you linked to)
posted by toby\flat2 at 10:27 AM on September 3, 2004

It's battle of the simultaneous front page newsfilter posts! Place a comment in your favorite! The thread with the most comments wins!
posted by fletchmuy at 10:33 AM on September 3, 2004

Maybe they thought the hundreds of deaths in Russia of more importance?

I think the point was that there's a lot of bad news right now.
posted by drezdn at 10:33 AM on September 3, 2004

the fire you left me has had a brain fart.
posted by quonsar at 10:35 AM on September 3, 2004

I'm not surprised.

Bush's speech almost gave me a aneurysm...
posted by SweetJesus at 10:38 AM on September 3, 2004

"Former President Bill Clinton will undergo heart bypass surgery after complaining of mild chest pain and shortness of breath, his office said Friday."

No heart attack
posted by Outlawyr at 10:40 AM on September 3, 2004

Is this wishful thinking NewsFilter, the fire you left me?

Kind of like when Cheney had to have the heart of a baboon implanted because his own heart had actually turned into blackest charcoal?
posted by fenriq at 10:43 AM on September 3, 2004

I hear Zell Miller challenged him to a duel. That'd freak me out to the point of heart attack.
posted by mathowie at 10:47 AM on September 3, 2004

Is this wishful thinking NewsFilter, the fire you left me?

Y'know, news sites change their stories as facts emerge. The first stories called it a heart attack.
posted by jpoulos at 10:47 AM on September 3, 2004

shucks
posted by clavdivs at 10:48 AM on September 3, 2004

Get well soon, Slick Willy.
posted by gyc at 10:53 AM on September 3, 2004

How much happier I would be if it were Hillary....
posted by a3matrix at 10:54 AM on September 3, 2004

I'm sure watchin Kerry was more stressful for him. Although, the Zell thing...

Actually, maybe he was reading a certain Metafilter thread?
posted by ParisParamus at 10:57 AM on September 3, 2004

Considering the man was a poster child for McDonald's while in office, I withhold my surprise.
posted by FunkyHelix at 10:58 AM on September 3, 2004

If it's emergency surgery, he most likely did have an attack or they believed one was imminent.

Or wait, he could just be a celebrity.
posted by etoile at 10:59 AM on September 3, 2004

Interesting that Debka.com sees fit to post this as a top headline: I mean, the guy isn't President anymore!
posted by ParisParamus at 11:05 AM on September 3, 2004

Ten weeks ago, I, too, showed up at the emergency room with very mild chest pains, only to be told a few hours later that I would require quadruple bypass surgery because of severe blockages.

They wanted to do my surgery the following day, so it is not the least bit surprising that they want to do Clinton's surgery so soon.

My recovery is going along very well, by the way. I am back to work and feeling great. I am sure he will be fine, although he's likely not to be able to do much campaigning for a few weeks.
posted by briank at 11:11 AM on September 3, 2004

tough break briank. Glad to hear you are feeling better though.
posted by a3matrix at 11:12 AM on September 3, 2004

I like how TFYLM posted this story from the News4Colorado site as if to lend it more credibility/obscurity when, in fact, the story is on every frickin' mainstream news site on the web! Hey, just post a link to the frontpage of CNN.com and be done with it.

In any case: what are we supposed to be discussing?
posted by dhoyt at 11:36 AM on September 3, 2004

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP, "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE")

PHIL HARTMAN (AS BILL CLINTON): Let's stop in here for a second. I'm a little parched from the jog.

KEVIN NEALON (AS SECRET SERVICE AGENT): Sir, we've only been jogging for three blocks. Besides, Mrs. Clinton asked us not to let you into anymore fast-food places.

PHIL HARTMAN: Well, I just want to mingle with the American people, talk with some real folks, maybe get a Diet Coke or something.

NEALON: All right, fine. But please, don't tell Mrs. Clinton.

PHIL HARTMAN: Jim, let me tell you something. There's going to be a whole bunch of things we don't tell Mrs. Clinton.

(LAUGHTER)

Fast food is the least of our worries, OK, buddy?

UNIDENTIFIED ACTRESS: Oh, my god, it's Bill Clinton.

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: Oh, my god.

PHIL HARTMAN: Hey, how are you doing? Nice to meet you. How are you?

Oh, that's an adorable baby. What's your name, sweetheart?

UNIDENTIFIED ACTRESS: Her name is Shakira.

PHIL HARTMAN: That means African princess, doesn't it?

UNIDENTIFIED ACTRESS: Why, yes.

PHIL HARTMAN: Well, she certainly is beautiful enough to be a princess.

Say, are you going to finish these fries?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

posted by eyebeam at 11:44 AM on September 3, 2004

Something must have gone wrong with last night's Dark Ritual (mine, not the GOP's). Maybe I didn't specify which President was my target? Willow Rosenberg warned me about this sort of thing. Did I listen?
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 11:51 AM on September 3, 2004

A year and a half ago I was hospitalized with Congestive Heart Failure (complete with elevated blood pressure and irregular heartbeat). The Cardiologist was very attentive until he did my angiogram and found no blockages. He seemed so disappointed that he didn't get to open me up.

Anyway, I'm sure the Evil Geniuses Behind Bush are madder than Zell Miller about this. They may actually lose control of the Mass Media for a couple days!

Yeah, Billy Boy always was a grandstander. At least this finally puts to rest the rumor that he didn't have a heart... Still, get well, Bubba. I don't want to see another State Funeral pre-empting my soaps.

And EBligh, I only listen to Willow Rosenberg when she's talking about band camp... or do I have that wrong?
posted by wendell at 12:29 PM on September 3, 2004

A Dark Ritual is an instant that gives you three black mana, right?

/memories of 8th grade
posted by kenko at 12:34 PM on September 3, 2004

Hell, I nearly had a heart attack just watching a few seconds of Bush's speech at the convention. Bill must be made of sterner stuff than I, and sat all the way through it, despite feeling like his brain might explode.

Ebligh, don't let this little bump on the road slow you down. Just be a bit more specific next time, and throw a little bit of extra eye of newt in the pot.
posted by jokeefe at 12:41 PM on September 3, 2004

That explains the eye patch Mr. Gingrich is wearing these days.
posted by wendell at 1:13 PM on September 3, 2004

kenko, maybe Ethereal Bligh critically failed the roll so the ritual backfired and hit Clinton instead . [/mixed geek references]

Memories of 8th grade? Dude, I'm playing D&D later tonight, and then driving 2 hours to a weekend long rpg *extravaganza*. Who's the loser now, huh? Huh?
posted by kindle at 1:23 PM on September 3, 2004

Audience boos as Bush wishes Clinton best wishes; president does nothing to stop them.
posted by raysmj at 1:40 PM on September 3, 2004

Ha! Mixed references indeed, kindle. There's a pretty good chance I'll be getting out my old Magic cards and playing a few games later tonight. Who's the loser now, bitch? :)
posted by graventy at 1:58 PM on September 3, 2004

Y'know, news sites change their stories as facts emerge. The first stories called it a heart attack.

Which is probably why news sites shouldn't post something before they know the facts (and the reason why Mefiers shouldn't post something for the same reason).
posted by braun_richard at 2:01 PM on September 3, 2004

Wow. I guess god really is on the Republican's side.
posted by Espoo2 at 2:01 PM on September 3, 2004

Anyway, I'm sure the Evil Geniuses Behind Bush are madder than Zell Miller about this. They may actually lose control of the Mass Media for a couple days!
Yup. From bad things good may come.

I worry about Clinton--longevity doesn't run in his family, but he has been taking care of himself lately--he looks wonderful. (I think it was a Rockefeller moment myself--if you get my drift)
posted by amberglow at 2:06 PM on September 3, 2004

Audience "boos" (mp3) Bush's comments on Clinton.

See thread at oliverwillis.com.
posted by dhoyt at 2:55 PM on September 3, 2004

I hope he'll be allright.
posted by Keyser Soze at 3:08 PM on September 3, 2004

Audience "boos" (mp3) Bush's comments on Clinton.

See thread at oliverwillis.com.
posted by dhoyt at 2:55 PM PST on September 3

That cuts out far too early to tell anything, one way or another.
posted by Espoo2 at 5:34 PM on September 3, 2004

I never liked Clinton, or rarely anything that his adminstration did or stood for. I motherfucked him on many occasions.

But aside from that, I wish him the best. I hope for a speedy recovery, because, afterall, he was the President of my country, at one time.
posted by WLW at 6:46 PM on September 3, 2004

Ah WLW, nice words from a man of compassion and gentility. By the way, how does one actually motherfuck someone?
posted by psmealey at 8:43 PM on September 3, 2004

WLW makes me look good
posted by Satapher at 1:05 AM on September 4, 2004

CNN is saying the surgrery was successful. /newsfilter
posted by keswick at 10:49 AM on September 6, 2004