gadflyer rocks!

October 26, 2004 6:35 AM

Why I believe in our president
by Thomas F. Schaller, Executive Editor 10.26.04
I believe in President George W. Bush.
I've always believed him. ...
posted by nofundy (47 comments total)

Meeeee-OW!

A more straightforward way of putting it.
posted by soyjoy at 6:39 AM on October 26, 2004

Good to see some well-deserved support for Dear Leader during these oh so trying times.
posted by fold_and_mutilate at 7:07 AM on October 26, 2004

I BEE-LEEVE I'd like a drink. (Did that article make anyone start humming that horrid little Cher tune?)
posted by DenOfSizer at 7:20 AM on October 26, 2004

Rumors of the death of irony were greatly exagerated
posted by Outlawyr at 7:20 AM on October 26, 2004

The Michael Kelly article, which inspired this, highlights how things have changed over the last five or seven years. The anti-Clinton screed is so...quaint.
posted by jpoulos at 7:23 AM on October 26, 2004

I believe the horse is dead already. I believe I've heard this before. I believe that we should quit flapping our gums about what swell guys we are and just shut up and vote already. I believe nofundy needs a hobby/and or to get laid. I believe even if Kerry wins the election some of us will keep bitching obsessively about Bush since we seem to enjoy it so much. I belive that the main reason I hate George W. Bush is that he clogs up my MeFi.
posted by jonmc at 7:29 AM on October 26, 2004

Did that article make anyone start humming that horrid little Cher tune?

No, but someone's stupid comment did and i keel you!!!
posted by cortex at 7:40 AM on October 26, 2004

I also believe in miracles. Where ya from, you sexy thing?

(just doing my part clear cortex's musical palate)
posted by jonmc at 7:41 AM on October 26, 2004

what crap.

all this guy did was steal the "apostle's creed" that some of mefi's bush supporters carry on their persons at all times (so that they can recite it during their thrice daily prayers) and submit it to his editor like it was something he concocted himself. ;-)

as for me, i believe that i can fly, i believe that i can touch the sky (but i don't believe in sex with drugged-up, underage girls).
posted by lord_wolf at 7:46 AM on October 26, 2004

I believe nofundy needs a hobby/and or to get laid.

Coming from you?! You're so funny jonmc. Irony is indeed alive.
posted by nofundy at 7:47 AM on October 26, 2004

i believe the children are our future
posted by cortex at 7:50 AM on October 26, 2004

Hey, nf, I got a girlfreind and several interests that I pursue quite fully. Can you say the same? You seem to spend your waking hours obsessing over politics and religion and posting here about it.

I'd be absolutely stunned if you ever posted on a subject other than politics or religion. Teach your pony a new trick, for god sake.

also

[merman]

I belieeeeve that loooove is aaallliveee

[/merman]
posted by jonmc at 7:53 AM on October 26, 2004

MY PEEPEE IS BIGGER THAN YOUR PEEPEE ROFLMAO w00t!
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 7:58 AM on October 26, 2004

yeah, I remembered the Kelly article, too. Kelly, RIP, was my goto example of almost-insane Clinton-hater who should have known better. he was too smart for that. good reporter, good editor, terrible and shrill editorial writer.

of course, one must only care about lies re blow-jobs. lies re wmd's, etc are a good thing
posted by matteo at 8:05 AM on October 26, 2004

Did that article make anyone start humming that horrid little Cher tune?

Do you mean that song with the robotic voice? That song was already in my head. As it has been every waking hour since summer '99 Kill me
posted by dhoyt at 8:08 AM on October 26, 2004

I believe in coyotes, and I believe my throat hurts.

(it's all because when I was young and full of grace, my spirit was a rattlesnake)
posted by COBRA! at 8:20 AM on October 26, 2004

I believe people should read the entire article before launching into their usual diatribes.

I believe that while irony may not be dead, people's ability to detect sarcasm is.
posted by terrapin at 8:24 AM on October 26, 2004

After rereading the snarky original Michael Kelly editorial. I believe I'm glad the silly fucker's dead.
posted by Reverend Mykeru at 8:44 AM on October 26, 2004

I believe I can't believe I just read this headline:

Bush Says His Party Is Wrong to Oppose Gay Civil Unions

posted by Otis at 9:02 AM on October 26, 2004

I believe that Jon and Nofundy both need to get laid more, as we all do.
I also believe that Jon still owes me a mix cd. Mannnn.
posted by mikrophon at 9:04 AM on October 26, 2004

I believe for every drop of rain that falls
A flower grows,
I believe that somewhere in the darkest night
A candle glows.

I believe for everyone who goes astray
Someone will come to show the way.
I believe,
Oh, I believe.

I believe above the storm
The smallest prayer, will still be heard.
I believe that someone in that great somewhere
Hears every word

Every time I hear a newborn baby cry,
Or touch a leaf
Or see the sky,
Then I know why I believe.

Every time I hear a newborn baby cry,
Or touch a leaf
Or see the sky,
Then I know why I believe.

posted by alumshubby at 9:06 AM on October 26, 2004

I believe the children are the future...
posted by zekinskia at 9:09 AM on October 26, 2004

I know some people will say I'm crazy to believe this, but I believe that robots are stealing Steve Martin's luggage.
posted by soyjoy at 9:21 AM on October 26, 2004

I believe zekinskia intended that as an homage.
posted by cortex at 9:21 AM on October 26, 2004

Of course, on November 3rd, Bush will change his mind again, no matter if he wins or loses.
posted by bshort at 10:14 AM on October 26, 2004

you can call me naive but I believe in the power of love
posted by dabitch at 10:29 AM on October 26, 2004

I believe that Jon and Nofundy both need to get laid more, as we all do.

I'm voting for you!

Make love, not war!
posted by nofundy at 10:39 AM on October 26, 2004

This reminded me of some break up letters I've written.

I believe when I fall in love this time it will be forever.
I believe when I fall in love with you it will be forever. Yeah!
posted by orange swan at 10:42 AM on October 26, 2004

Hey, nf, I got a girlfreind and several interests that I pursue quite fully. Can you say the same?

Hmmm, if that were true you wouldn't be able to spend enough time here to be irritated by all of nofundy's posts ;)

I believe that Jon and Nofundy both need to get laid more, as we all do

Not so, I need to get laid much much less so that I can spend more time being irritated by Metafilter. Get your priorities straight...!
posted by sic at 10:49 AM on October 26, 2004

Hmmm, if that were true you wouldn't be able to spend enough time here to be irritated by all of nofundy's posts ;)

Did I mention that one of my interests was methamphetamine?
posted by jonmc at 10:54 AM on October 26, 2004

Er, that's a quote from a George Michael song, not from the aforementioned break-up letters.
posted by orange swan at 10:57 AM on October 26, 2004

Damn. That was shaping up in my mind to be the best break-up letter ever.
posted by cortex at 11:11 AM on October 26, 2004

Er, that's a quote from a George Michael song, not from the aforementioned break-up letters.

No. That is a line from a Stevie Wonder song, covered by George Michael. The original is better. And you can believe that.
posted by grabbingsand at 11:21 AM on October 26, 2004

One of the nice things about being married (for me) is that you tend to get laid just enough.

When I cleaned out the house my mother grew up in, I found among a big cedar chest full of my grandmother's (1893-1979) things a set of old letters tied up in a ribbon.

At first I thought they were old love letters, but they were in fact break-up letters from old boyfriends, or letters from old boyfriends responding to the break-up letters she had sent them.

I still don't understand why she kept those and not the love letters. But they were still pretty interesting as an insight on dating in the nineteen-teens and twenties--one guy broke up with her because he became a priest, and she broke up with one guy because he was an alcoholic.

Oh, and as for the FPP--so, did the kid get an "A" on his assignment? Because I remember when we had to read "A Modest Proposal" and write our own satires in junior-high English, and his was better than most of the kids' in my class.
posted by Sidhedevil at 11:24 AM on October 26, 2004

Who is this Cher person that's so infected your minds? She can't be anywhere near as awful as Michael Bolton, can she?
posted by fenriq at 11:29 AM on October 26, 2004

that's a quote from a George Michael song

Stevie Wonder - Talking Book - 1972. (sorry for the amazon link. couldn't find a real SW web site ...)
posted by mrgrimm at 11:35 AM on October 26, 2004

That is a line from a Stevie Wonder song, covered by George Michael. The original is better. And you can believe that.

Oh I believe you, grabbingsand.
posted by orange swan at 11:49 AM on October 26, 2004

i believe that aliens have placed a fish in my pants.
posted by quonsar at 11:53 AM on October 26, 2004

I thought love was more or less a given thing, it seems the more I gave the less I got. What's the use in trying? All you get is pain. When I needed sunshine I got rain. Then I saw her face, now I'm a believer. Not a trace of doubt in my mind. 'm in love; I'm a believer! I couldn't leave her if I tried.
posted by TimeFactor at 12:00 PM on October 26, 2004

mikrophon - "I also believe that Jon still owes me a mix cd."

You too? He still owes me one from about two years ago. Let's forget about bashing Bush for a while and all pick on jonmc instead! :-)
posted by tdismukes at 12:03 PM on October 26, 2004

Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.

Let's forget about bashing Bush for a while and all pick on jonmc instead!

What's he paying you boys? I'll double it, and we'll beat the shit out of him.
posted by kirkaracha at 12:17 PM on October 26, 2004

I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my heart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love
Ooh! Guitar!
posted by dabitch at 12:22 PM on October 26, 2004

Reverend Mykeru, please pick up the white courtesy phone. Reverend Mykeru to the MetaTalk phone, please.
posted by Wulfgar! at 2:07 PM on October 26, 2004

similar, by a Vietnam Vet, John Cory: I Need a President
posted by amberglow at 5:29 PM on October 26, 2004

I believe what terrapin said.
posted by semmi at 6:33 PM on October 26, 2004

I don't believe it!
posted by acrobat at 2:22 AM on October 27, 2004

Damn it, dabitch, you beat me to it.

Are The Darkness' 15 minutes over yet?

What I Believe, by Emma Goldman (1908)

I believe that militarism --- a standing army and navy in any country --- is indicative of the decay of liberty and of the destruction of all that is best and finest in our nation. The steadily growing clamor for more battleships and an increased army on the ground that these guarantee us peace is as absurd as the argument that the peaceful man is he who goes well armed.

The same lack of consistency is displayed by those peace pretenders who oppose Anarchism because it supposedly teaches violence, and who would yet be delighted over the possibility of the American nation soon being able to hurl dynamite bombs upon defenseless enemies from flying machines.

I believe that militarism will cease when the liberty-loving spirits of the world say to their masters: "Go and do your own killing. We have sacrificed ourselves and our loved ones long enough fighting your battles. In return you have made parasites and criminals of us in times of peace and brutalized us in times of war. You have separated us from our brothers and have made of the world a human slaughterhouse. No, we will not do your killing or fight for the country that you have stolen from us."

*weeps quietly*
posted by jokeefe at 4:49 PM on October 27, 2004