squick-o-matic
December 15, 2004 12:19 PM   Subscribe

 
Yeah but what happens when a baby tries to pull them off your face and your nose comes with them?
posted by fenriq at 12:22 PM on December 15, 2004


“People should think things out fresh and not just accept conventional terms and the conventional way of doing things.”

Uh, yeah, but that doesn't mean you have to go with every wack idea somebody comes up with.
posted by 1016 at 12:23 PM on December 15, 2004


Doesn't stop him looking like a dick though does it
posted by zeoslap at 12:24 PM on December 15, 2004


If Steve Martin ever decides to remake his movie The Jerk, I hope he adopts this design over the one he used 20 years ago.
posted by crunchland at 12:26 PM on December 15, 2004


it is kind of nifty though. i'd do it except for i have no piercings (very low pain/narcissism threshold). Oh and I don't wear glasses.
posted by glenwood at 12:27 PM on December 15, 2004


Oh ouch! This could add a whole new dimension to the "got your nose!" game.
posted by scarabic at 12:28 PM on December 15, 2004


did anyone else think of neuromancer?
posted by mcsweetie at 12:30 PM on December 15, 2004


This is just silly. On the other hand, he would have no trouble finding a pair of compatible ski goggles.
posted by pmbuko at 12:34 PM on December 15, 2004


I haven't worn glasses in a while since switching to contact lenses a few eyars back, but what happens if they get wet or dirty? i would not be happy to have to spend 10-20 minutes removing my glasses to clean them and then 10-20 minutes putting them back on, during which time I would probably get them dirty again.
posted by bDiddy at 12:37 PM on December 15, 2004


I had this idea years ago. But I'm more glad to see that someone went through with it, rather than pissed that I didn't do it first.
posted by garethspor at 12:39 PM on December 15, 2004


The first thought that went through my head when I saw that was "What kind of crunching noise will that make when he whacks those glasses on something?"

And who the hell wants the damn things attached, anyway?
posted by Dipsomaniac at 12:43 PM on December 15, 2004


Damn, my toddler son would be holding my torn tissue in his hand after about 14 seconds.
posted by argybarg at 12:46 PM on December 15, 2004


Ouch! That is one of the dumbest things I've ever seen. Which means, of course, that soon everyone around me will be wearing them.
posted by chakalakasp at 12:48 PM on December 15, 2004


I can hardly wait for the hat.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:50 PM on December 15, 2004


this hurts my nose
posted by kamylyon at 12:50 PM on December 15, 2004


I want to see the expression on his face when he's told about contacts.
posted by Sticherbeast at 12:50 PM on December 15, 2004


Actually, the person wearing them mentioned that he can't wear contacts.

I'm not sure that there's really be a greater risk of baby-grab related injuries than many other peircing types already have. I expect if you're doing body mods at that level, you've probably already learned avoidance methods for that sort of thing.

I'm not into body mods myself, but I think it's kind of neat.
posted by Karmakaze at 12:55 PM on December 15, 2004


"I want to see the expression on his face when he's told about contacts."

Yeah, no shit. Now he's going to have to get piercings in his eyeballs.
posted by fizz-ed at 12:58 PM on December 15, 2004


I like it. But a less cumbersome mounting mechanism is necessary.
posted by sid at 12:59 PM on December 15, 2004


But I wanna try before I modify my face and then find that I really hate 'em.
posted by DBAPaul at 1:00 PM on December 15, 2004


I don't understand how he can have showered in them. I need to clean my glasses about twice a day - they get dust and fingerprints on them. Surely if he slept and showered in them they'd end up pretty grubby after a very short time.
posted by different at 1:05 PM on December 15, 2004


Pretty neat concept, in that it's thinking outside of the box, or inside of the skin, or whatever. And it looks like the lenses are mounted into the bone of his nose (which is what I first thought he'd done, when I saw it). Bone-mounted lenses would be a serious body mod.

But I guess when you get down to it, the basic idea of frameless glasses that you prop on your nose has been around a long time. The twist with this concept being that the bridge on his glasses simply goes under the skin.

Which gives him added stability, but at the risk of a really unpleasant wound if he gets his glasses caught on something, or someone grabs them. I'd hate to get in a fight with those things on...
posted by darkstar at 1:05 PM on December 15, 2004


This would be much better implemented with a nickel bar bell and a couple rare earth magnets on the bridge of the glasses. It'd work just like the clipless sunglasses and if you got them caught on anything they'd just pop right off. And no need to shower with them on.

The piercing might be worth it to wear wrap around sunglasses.
posted by Mitheral at 1:11 PM on December 15, 2004


Overall I'm with Mitheral but I think these look cool.

I'd be tempted except that every pair of glasses I get sits on a slightly different part of my nose.
posted by small_ruminant at 1:16 PM on December 15, 2004


I just thought of a way to prevent condom slippage...
posted by srboisvert at 1:18 PM on December 15, 2004


That's going to get him lots of dates.
posted by MotherTucker at 1:20 PM on December 15, 2004


did anyone else think of neuromancer?
yep.
posted by juv3nal at 1:21 PM on December 15, 2004


what zeoslap said.
posted by quonsar at 1:22 PM on December 15, 2004


ouch.
posted by wondergirl at 1:25 PM on December 15, 2004


I just wonder how he's going to attach the Groucho moustache.
posted by DrJohnEvans at 1:29 PM on December 15, 2004


I think this is a neat mod, but the lack of a quick-release mechanism of some sort seems like an enormous failure to me. Mitheral's magnet idea could be fantastic.
posted by mosch at 1:32 PM on December 15, 2004


I saw the picture before I read how they were attached, and I was thinking "how do they stay on? there's no nose bridge." Then I read the text.

Anyway. As a former glassses wearer turned contact lens wearer I have to wonder what happens when they come in from the cold or stick their head over a boiling pot of water. One nice thing of removeable glasses is you can easily take them off when necessary.
posted by tommasz at 1:33 PM on December 15, 2004


I'd be all over these. Seriously. Though they'd have to be improved such as the bar simply being a magnetic (or other) mount point for the lenses, that way it would be easy to take them off to clean them, or have them break away when someone pulled them (as someone worried about way above).

Seriously, I thought they were damn cool.

Takes all sorts I suppose.
posted by C.Batt at 1:39 PM on December 15, 2004


My brother once had a piercing in the same place. He said it made him cross-eyed. So, is this chap seeing cross-eyed at 20/20?
posted by Constant Reader at 1:40 PM on December 15, 2004


fizzed....

"I want to see the expression on his face when he's told about contacts."

Yeah, no shit. Now he's going to have to get piercings in his eyeballs."

That was GREAT! I got a "WTF are you laughing about?" after i read that!
posted by HuronBob at 1:45 PM on December 15, 2004


OUCH. I'm glad I wear contacts. : )
posted by SisterHavana at 1:45 PM on December 15, 2004


Ya know what would be even cooler... a metal implant hidden under the skin, plus Mitheral's rare earth magnets on the glasses. Imagine people watching you *snick* your glasses on & off with no visible attachment point. Heh.
posted by Tubes at 1:51 PM on December 15, 2004


"Now he's going to have to get piercings in his eyeballs."
posted by Tubes at 1:52 PM on December 15, 2004


Why not just get an eyebrow piercing over each eye, and hang them from there?

Or are eyebrow piercings too commonplace now?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:54 PM on December 15, 2004


Tubes that would be cool. Though it'd be so subtle people would just think you have some sort of nose pinch glasses like Morpheus wore.
posted by Mitheral at 2:03 PM on December 15, 2004


I like Tubes's idea, that's pretty smart, dude. :)

Quick release, most definitely necessary. Though, with this guy's arrangement, he can wear 'em on roller coasters!
posted by zoogleplex at 2:07 PM on December 15, 2004


Molly from Neuromancer had full socket implants, in that they surrounded the existing eye socket like an embedded cup or dish. I've gotten the impression they were completely round, too.

Metal or magnets under the skin attached to external magnets would inevitably pull through the fistula, which would be quite messy. Attaching to the bar-ends of a barbell or that sort of thing should be fine, though, as long as no skin was being pinched.

What's the big deal about this? For once, it's a clearly functional piercing, and not some esoteric thing that's often impossible to describe why. Holy crap some of you are awfully judgemental. I thought MeFi was more open-minded than this, or at least less puritanical. Damn pantybunchers.
posted by loquacious at 2:11 PM on December 15, 2004


If they were more practical to take on and off, I'd do it.

I wonder how long it would take for me to stop habitually pushing them back up the bridge of my nose.
posted by me3dia at 2:18 PM on December 15, 2004


loquacious wrote:
What's the big deal about this? For once, it's a clearly functional piercing, and not some esoteric thing that's often impossible to describe why. Holy crap some of you are awfully judgemental. I thought MeFi was more open-minded than this, or at least less puritanical. Damn pantybunchers.


I just want to state for the record that I am simply a wimp. Cool idea, but I shudder at the thought of such a piercing.
posted by tippiedog at 2:44 PM on December 15, 2004


What's the big deal about this? For once, it's a clearly functional piercing,

oh please. Is it really more functional to have glasses attached to your face, which you cannot take off without difficulty, which you somehow have to sleep in, clean, and otherwise deal with, than to have glasses that rest on your ears? This is a style thing and at most would result in a brief flurry of hipster body mod excitement, which would die out after the novelty wore off and people were left with the simple annoyances & risks it brings with it.

Perhaps a magnetic removal system could become a long term option, but it would still be largely a personal expression rather than a true increase in functionality.
posted by mdn at 3:19 PM on December 15, 2004


They're like pince-nez except they break the skin.
posted by kenko at 3:20 PM on December 15, 2004


Being a wimp is fine, in fact, it's not really being a wimp. It just doesn't float your flotilla. Piercing/bodymod was never meant to be some sort of "I'm more extreme than you!" kind of crap anyway. The only competition any body modifier should be engaging in should be with themselves, and even then cautiously.

That piercing probably hurts less than, say, a labret, nose-ring, eyebrow or septum piercing, but with the glasses mounted there is a real danger of it being torn out or snagged on something.

I still find it pretty neat that despite all the faddishness of body piercing and mods over the last 10 years, I'll still see rather mainstream people with surprisingly non-mainstream piercings, and that they actually 'get it', and aren't just doing it because it's supposedly the cool thing to do. They're doing it because they want to, and it makes them feel good, and that's reason enough.

For the record, I don't currently have any metal in. Though, I have before, and I'm lusting for some again. I'm just waiting to meet the right piercer and find the right jewelry.


On preview: mdn, I was commenting on the fact that the piercing had a function outside of ritual, ornament or sensation. He can take them off, he just needs to unscrew them. They're not permanently bolted to his head or anything. Do you wear glasses, mdn? Have you ever tried to bike in them? Dance? Ever have to put something down at an inopportune moment just to push them back up? I agree it's mostly a style thing, but there is a function there.
posted by loquacious at 3:33 PM on December 15, 2004


This is a pretty dumb idea. At least he realizes the difficulty in taking them on and off with ease would present a problem for most people who wear glasses all the time.

Since they have no frame on the side I can wear them while I sleep and still roll onto my side.

BME: Good thinking


Um, no. Not good thinking.
posted by effwerd at 3:37 PM on December 15, 2004


As far as function: I've had slip resisting pads on my glasses for years. They cost nothing extra and don't require piercing. For sports, there's always strapping them around your head.

Now if you're just aiming to be novel, then this certainly fits the bill.
posted by effwerd at 3:43 PM on December 15, 2004


I think this is pretty neat, but I love Mitheral's idea. I think it would necessitate getting eyebrow piercings as well, though.
posted by neckro23 at 3:59 PM on December 15, 2004


Loquacious, the big deal is that there are a good number of people, myself included, that think the piercing fad is ridiculously stupid and people don't really need yet another way to dis-conform.

You want to have glasses attached to your face? Fine, don't bitch and moan when they get caught on something and you rip the bridge of your nose apart.

You're free to think of it anyway you want, just as I'm free to think that anyone stupid enough to do this to themselves deserves all of the side effects. Just as I'm also free to believe that Body Modders are losers with low self esteem, high pain thresholds and endorphin addiction issues.
posted by fenriq at 4:02 PM on December 15, 2004


I wouldn't complain to anyone but myself if any (theoretical) piercing I had had any issues at all. Though, I might complain to my piercer if they botched it, but that's part of the process of finding the "right" piercer.

You assume a lot when you're suggesting that people only do this to rebel or disconform. That's not what it's about. It's not supposed to be about shock value, or offending someone else, or trying to provoke any sort of reaction from anyone. And considering most of the more physically rewarding piercings aren't even visible unless they're naked, this is really disingenuous and shortsighted.

And yeah, you're free to think whatever you want. Stupid enough? Losers? Really now. You're free to judge, generalize, and make blanket statements. But why would you want to?

So, primitive cultures that have been doing this for centuries or eons as a ritual, culture, and even sometimes paths to understanding oneself - they're all losers? And stupid?

If someone consciously - with a great deal of forethought and research - co-opts or adopts such practices as it suits them - ritually or not - that doesn't diminish the 'stupidity' of this in your eyes?

I accept - and even endorse - that the faddishness of it is downright stupid, that people have piercings done for all the wrong reasons, by unqualified piercers, and worse. I wish all that would go away.

But who am I to judge who got whatever done for the "right" reasons? Who am I to deny others what I would desire for myself?
posted by loquacious at 4:18 PM on December 15, 2004


"Sir, I can fix those glasses"

"You can? Well, go ahead, fix those suckers!"
posted by zardoz at 5:23 PM on December 15, 2004


Y'know that old saying "you wouldn't hit a man with glasses, would you?"

Not until just this moment, I wouldn't.
posted by jonmc at 5:50 PM on December 15, 2004


ew
posted by wbm$tr at 5:53 PM on December 15, 2004


If this doesn't work right, I fully expect a one dollar and nine cent refund.
posted by ibmcginty at 6:00 PM on December 15, 2004


For sports, there's always strapping them around your head.

Or at any time. I use 20p worth of black elastic with a little loop sewn at each end.
posted by raygirvan at 6:47 PM on December 15, 2004


I'm with loquacious, intention is everything. If people do whatever action because everyone else is doing it they are a bit simplistic (see last election), but action taken with thought deserves respect even if you would not do it yourself. I do not mod, even though I have many friends who do and I am mid-thirties, in the end why should I or anyone else give a damn what others do to THEIR OWN BODY, and I haven't heard any body moders complain... not like (many) smokers when they have to accommodate others because of their addiction. their are a million things people do that I would never do, but i am glad they do do it. What a tedious world it would be if we could intimidate others to be like us unchopped/dyed/tattooed people.
And... if they actually figured out how to quick release the lenses and it did not cause long-term damage (the magnets next to the brain idea worry me for some reason) I would actually consider it (and no I can't wear contacts).

"Why do we need these fork things? Work of the devil if you ask me. They are stupid, when we have two perfectly good hands to eat with."

I liked I want to see the expression on his face when he's told about contacts. very funny. heh
posted by edgeways at 6:56 PM on December 15, 2004


Man, you guys sound like a bunch of grumpy old people. Remind me never to play on your lawn.
posted by majcher at 7:38 PM on December 15, 2004


What loquacious and majcher said.
posted by geekyguy at 8:11 PM on December 15, 2004


You know what really solves all these problems? Laser surgery.
posted by oflinkey at 8:25 PM on December 15, 2004


"If this doesn't work right, I fully expect a one dollar and nine cent refund.'
posted by ibmcginty at 7:00 PM MST on December 15

Oh, man. That is so, so awesome.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:31 PM on December 15, 2004


Oh no doubt mr_crash_davis... so so awesome.

ibmcginty, you rule.
posted by C.Batt at 8:43 PM on December 15, 2004


I'm not cool enough to know what's so cool about what ibmcginty said. Am I cool enough that someone might take pity on me and explain it in small words?
posted by five fresh fish at 8:56 PM on December 15, 2004


I'm with majcher on this. Easily two thirds of the comments above fairly drip with contempt. What happened to you people to make you this way? Or have you not recovered the memory and are simply going around with unfocused loathing?
posted by George_Spiggott at 8:59 PM on December 15, 2004


Well, 5FFish, it's that my userid is a literary allusion. In The Jerk, Steve Martin's character gets rich off an invention not unlike the one in this FPP. But it winds up causing problems and he has to refund everybody's money. We see him writing checks for one dollar and nine cents to a few people, including the guy whose name I stole.

Thanks to Crash Davis and C.Batt for noticing and for the enthusiasm. I was away from the comp for awhile today so I didn't get to comment till late. There are only gonna be so many posts about an Opti-Grab-- was afraid I'd missed my chance.
posted by ibmcginty at 9:34 PM on December 15, 2004


I still think the election was rigged.
posted by Keyser Soze at 9:40 PM on December 15, 2004


Damn these glasses!

OK, I damn thee!
posted by jonp72 at 9:49 PM on December 15, 2004


Metafilter: Unfocused loathing.
posted by loquacious at 1:28 AM on December 16, 2004


Well, it wouldn't do to have the freaks getting uppity. Unfocused loathing is like scrubbing bubbles for society!
posted by Nyx at 12:40 PM on December 16, 2004


I think it's a pretty cool idea and looks interesting, and if I had to wear my glasses all the time, I'd probably give it a little consideration ... provided, as others have noted, they were easily detachable in the case of getting hung on them or needing to clean them. I wouldn't want to sleep or take showers with my glasses on, and having once had a piercing of mine caught in the grasp of an evil baby, well ... I wouldn't want that to happen with glasses stuck to my nose. Ouch.
posted by Orb at 2:19 PM on December 16, 2004


Everytime someone posts something from BMEzine I always have to take a look at the posted pictures, (Nipple rings NSFW) to see all the crazy stuff people are doing with thier bodies these days. (DISCLAMER: I am not a wimp but I have no piercings or tattoos.) The craziest thing I saw this time was skin removal. Now I have nothing against people who do this sort of thing, (remember A Man Named Horse? There are some people who I think take this body modification thing too far.

That said, Smileys are kinda cool, although I've heard that piercings near the teeth can damage them.
posted by daHIFI at 2:31 PM on December 16, 2004


Who decides what's too far?
posted by Nyx at 4:44 PM on December 16, 2004


it's a pretty good idea, but he's giving up a lot of freedom--he can't even splash his face with water or anything without having to then wipe the glasses down. Magnets would be better, or a release mechanism.

it still is, Keyser
posted by amberglow at 5:42 PM on December 16, 2004


kthx. Kinda embarassing not to have watched The Jerk. Always meant to, never got around to it.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:05 PM on December 16, 2004


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