Mattingly, shave those sideburns, hippie!
January 8, 2005 1:32 PM   Subscribe

 
Quoth the article: '...long hair "consumes a great deal of nutrition" and could thus rob the brain of energy.'

(insert hippie joke here)
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:39 PM on January 8, 2005


'...long hair "consumes a great deal of nutrition" and could thus rob the brain of energy.'

Tell that to this guy.
posted by jonmc at 1:44 PM on January 8, 2005


MCD: heh, that's the part I liked the most. Especially since every time I get my hair cut after a long wait, it feels like my brain can breathe again. The longer it gets, the less will I have to live. ;)
posted by bwilliams at 1:46 PM on January 8, 2005


So, what they're saying is that women need not worry, as they have no brains...
posted by kamylyon at 1:50 PM on January 8, 2005


Please forgive me, but I don't see how this is even remotely funny.
posted by interrobang at 1:55 PM on January 8, 2005


No, no, see, women's physiological makeup supports long hair better. They have special glands that help provide nutrients to the hair, thus not requiring as much from the brain.

As long as we're making shit up.
posted by Stunt at 1:56 PM on January 8, 2005


if this is all true then this guy was obviously a genius.


Please forgive me, but I don't see how this is even remotely funny.

The fact they are trying to enforce this kind of thinking is not funny at all, obviously. But the thinking behind it is so ridiculous as to be very funny. And mockery is a weapon.
posted by jonmc at 1:58 PM on January 8, 2005


jonmc, mockery might be a weapon if North Koreans were actually able to read our mockery.
posted by interrobang at 1:59 PM on January 8, 2005


I see your point there. But our mockery of it here might dissuade any Westerners with similar delusions. And I suppose it's funny in a "whistling past the graveyard," sort of way.
posted by jonmc at 2:01 PM on January 8, 2005


Please forgive me, but I don't see how this is even remotely funny.

The series is entitled "Let us trim our hair in accordance with Socialist lifestyle".

Television newsreels such as "Employees of Pyongyang Textile Plant keep their hairstyle and dressing neat and tidy" and "Hairdressers at Ch'anggwangwo'n manage men's hair according to the demands of the military-first era" have also aired.



Please forgive me, but I don't see how this is even remotely NOT funny.
posted by dhoyt at 2:02 PM on January 8, 2005


"I don't advise a haircut man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hair are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight."
posted by Armitage Shanks at 2:02 PM on January 8, 2005


And the whole thing is basically a wonderful illustration of how ideologues, generally speaking, suck ass.
posted by jonmc at 2:03 PM on January 8, 2005


A second, and unprecedented, TV series this winter showed hidden-camera style video of "long-haired" men in various locations throughout Pyongyang.

North Korea is a vile and crappy place, but this is just a bastardized version of the blurred-out random fat people on the street footage we see all the time on the news.
posted by BigFatWhale at 2:04 PM on January 8, 2005


Please forgive me, but I don't see how this is even remotely NOT funny.

Okay, you've convinced me that this is not about the terrifying fascist control of a captive people; it's hilarious after all.
posted by interrobang at 2:05 PM on January 8, 2005


Hey, speaking of haircuts, how'd yours turn out, jonmc?
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 2:07 PM on January 8, 2005


Oh Stunt, thank you for that explanation! ::proceeds with growing her hair back out after having cut it to 5 cm::
posted by kamylyon at 2:11 PM on January 8, 2005


not too bad. lilboo (my co-worker) will bring her digital camera to work on Monday and we'll post a pic.

Okay, you've convinced me that this is not about the terrifying fascist control of a captive people; it's hilarious after all.

Interrobang, it's both. People joke about horrible things all the time, it's a coping mechanism.
posted by jonmc at 2:12 PM on January 8, 2005


proceeds with growing her hair back out

I was momentarily dyslexic reading that.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 2:19 PM on January 8, 2005


I feel very bad for the people of North Korea. Very bad.

It makes me really dislike China, also, for allowing this to occur.
posted by orange clock at 2:52 PM on January 8, 2005


Obligatory cross-reference to local situation:

"People who practice other's style of sex and live in other's style will become fools and that nation will come to ruin"

"[Depiction of pubic] Hair is a very important issue that shows the people's cultural standards and mental and moral state"
------
Proof Crash Davis is a librul communist or closely follows Pyongyang directives (look at bottom of page, little revealing picture!
-----
Super obligatory Mullet snark
posted by elpapacito at 2:58 PM on January 8, 2005


The series is entitled "Let Us Trim Our Hair in Accordance With Socialist Lifestyle".

Hmmmm...as long as we're going for it:

"Let Our Women Trim Their Bushes in Accordance With Socialist Lifestyle"
posted by Demogorgon at 3:01 PM on January 8, 2005


Friends don't let friends get haircuts.
posted by LouReedsSon at 3:09 PM on January 8, 2005


this is not about the terrifying fascist control of a captive people

Well, right. It's not.

The 'joking' (for me) was about how silly & unreal the titles were. C'mon, "Let us trim our hair in accordance with Socialist lifestyle" isn't darkly humorous to you? I don't think any of us joking around here lack any sympathy for North Korean civilians, if that's what you're implying.
posted by dhoyt at 4:20 PM on January 8, 2005


Please forgive me, but I don't see how this is even remotely funny.

I guess you'll have to develop a sense of humor...
posted by SweetJesus at 4:24 PM on January 8, 2005


This is my favorite part of the report:

Some unruly-haired pedestrians or customers captured on camera "meanly ran away", the programme said

Those mean guys!
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:06 PM on January 8, 2005


This reminds me of the "Shorts" on personal grooming you'd sometimes see at the start of some of the MST3K movies. What would Joel (or Mike) and the bots have to say about this I wonder?
posted by aedra at 5:46 PM on January 8, 2005


As fandango_matt pointed out, what about Kim Jong-il's giant Ko-Fro?
posted by Optimus Chyme at 7:02 PM on January 8, 2005


I'm sure most MetaFiltererers already know about The Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists™, but I'm still surprised it hadn't been brought up yet in this thread.
posted by Aknaton at 5:52 AM on January 9, 2005


When the New Zealand soccer team (the All Whites) played in Singapore as part of the 1982 World Cup qualifying campaign, long-haired players were required by Singapore immigration officials to get haircuts.
posted by TiredStarling at 7:48 AM on January 9, 2005


but...but...Hair are your aerials. They pick
up messages from the cosmos and transmit them directly into your brain
!!!
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:52 PM on January 9, 2005


« Older Poofer is not a gay Aussie   |   Write on! Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments