Mmmm Bacon

February 21, 2005 7:32 PM

BaconWhores: Because the only thing better than bacon is someone to cook it for you.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy (26 comments total)

As brought to you by the British Lard Marketing Board.
posted by AlexReynolds at 7:37 PM on February 21, 2005

Bacon starts its life inside a piglet-shaped cocoon, in which it receives all the nutrients it needs to grow healthy and tasty.
posted by iamck at 7:53 PM on February 21, 2005

Just brilliant.
posted by Vidiot at 8:04 PM on February 21, 2005

I think my BaconWhore is dead
posted by UseyurBrain at 8:11 PM on February 21, 2005

I was actually EATING TWO bacon butties when i clicked this link. I am, however, totally unphased!

Ha!
posted by armoured-ant at 8:17 PM on February 21, 2005

No gallery?! Bah!
posted by shoepal at 8:28 PM on February 21, 2005

mmmm.....BACON
posted by immer geradeaus at 8:37 PM on February 21, 2005

tools
posted by nj_subgenius at 8:43 PM on February 21, 2005

Tools of the Juicy Bacon Council, you mean.
posted by AlexReynolds at 9:07 PM on February 21, 2005

I for one welcome our new Bacon Whorelords...
posted by shoepal at 9:22 PM on February 21, 2005

Ah, if only I was more ambitious...a friend and I "cooked" up this idea some years ago. We wanted a phone number to call: 1-800-BACON-NOW! Boom, you call, and someone delivers freshly cooked bacon. No muss, no fuss. I'm such a bacon whore...
posted by Banky_Edwards at 9:39 PM on February 21, 2005

There's a bar in Chicago that has "Free Bacon Night" every Wednesday. It's the Best. Idea. Ever.
posted by Vidiot at 10:06 PM on February 21, 2005

MetaFilter: Free Bacon every Wednesday for Whorelords!
posted by billsaysthis at 10:08 PM on February 21, 2005

Tools of the Juicy Bacon Council, you mean.

I'm a tool of the rival Crispy Bacon Council, so you best not be getting your juice near my bacon!
posted by TungstenChef at 11:05 PM on February 21, 2005

Alas. (But there's hope!)
posted by Vidiot at 1:14 AM on February 22, 2005

His FrootSoup site is pretty cool, too. Be certain to check out the Spraw^tm.
via the link provided by Vidiot.
posted by geekyguy at 5:26 AM on February 22, 2005

Sorry, BaconWhores is not currently available for your zip code. Please check back soon, as we are rapidly expanding to cover more communities.

FUCK
posted by greasy_skillet at 5:50 AM on February 22, 2005

Bacon should be considered it's own element. I know, I know, science dictates I'm wrong. But c'mon, the product speaks for itself...
posted by Spacey at 5:58 AM on February 22, 2005

If it takes scantily-clad women to convince you to eat bacon, something is fundamentally wrong with you.
posted by casu marzu at 6:42 AM on February 22, 2005

I was 98% sure it was a hoax because it wasn't economically feasible-- the "lovely ladies" would have to earning enough to make it worth their time-- say $100.00 an hour? If you include transportation costs you would be paying through the nose for a few slices of bacon.

Besides, Vice would be all over them. And it would be a constant battle to convince the customers, "No. I'm here to cook bacon. Really."

Still it's a great web site. Up next: SpiderKillingGigolos
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:35 AM on February 22, 2005

Vidiot, WHERE IS THAT BAR?

Secret Life of Gravy, I figured it was just another NinjaBurger from the getgo. Ah well.
posted by kenko at 7:48 AM on February 22, 2005

Last week my husband asked me, "Did you know you can buy penguins on the internet?"

We discussed this for days. It didn't seem completely impossible-- after all you can buy all sorts of waterfowl and have it shipped by mail-- Dave works for the post office and birds get loose all the time. Details like this:

Emperor \ Female - Age: 2
This penguin is cute as a button! We've rarely seen a penguin with this charm.
ID: 2 | HEIGHT: 30 | WEIGHT: 45 | Price: $2250


made it seem very possible. On the other hand, the life size "life-size penguin robot companion".....

So I did what any normal, red-blooded American blogger would do-- I decided to post it to Metafilter.

Alas. Not only had it been posted before, it was a hoax.

And so ends my penguin dreams.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 8:41 AM on February 22, 2005

Vidiot, WHERE IS THAT BAR?

It's the Prodigal Son, on Halsted.
posted by Vidiot at 9:23 AM on February 22, 2005

Bacon magazine. Because you won't become popular by eating vegetables.
posted by debralee at 11:57 AM on February 22, 2005

Bacon magazine. Because you won't become popular by eating vegetables.

But bacon is a vegetable.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 12:09 PM on February 22, 2005

God help me, I don't know what to believe anymore.....
posted by Pressed Rat at 5:12 PM on February 22, 2005