Elvis is probably in charge

March 1, 2005 12:16 PM

What is going on in Dulce, New Mexico? The federal government is apparently working in tangent with several species of extraterrestrials in a gigantic underground base the size of Manhattan. This came to light with the release of the Dulce Papers, a set of documents explaining the whole conspiracy. An alleged former guard at the base has also spoken out against it and revealed more information. Of course, a lot of this relates back to the shadow government and Jesus having been genetically engineered by the Greys, but really, what doesn't these days. Want to take a relaxing holiday to Dulce Base? Well, you'll probably be shot, but there's always this nice video footage.
posted by borkingchikapa (27 comments total)

...There are no shadow governments...
posted by TwelveTwo at 12:31 PM on March 1, 2005

There is no metafilter cabal....
posted by tiamat at 12:33 PM on March 1, 2005

Gee, I wonder why it's so hard to sort informational wheat from chaff these days... Good thing everybody's heart's in the right place (by which of course I mean the left side).
posted by all-seeing eye dog at 12:35 PM on March 1, 2005

Does "working in tangent" count as an eggcorn?
posted by uosuaq at 1:56 PM on March 1, 2005

uosuaq said, Does "working in tangent" count as an eggcorn?

This conspiracy is farther reaching than we all suspected!
posted by lyam at 2:01 PM on March 1, 2005

Cough, cough ...

I find it very interesting that one of the 3000 tonne TBM's (Tunnel Boring Machines) built by TML (Trans-Manche Link) in the late 1980's to construct the Channel Tunnel (and, allegedly, buried in situ beneath the English Channel because they were too expensive to remove) has somehow been teleported to New Mexico.
posted by cstross at 2:13 PM on March 1, 2005

If there were aliens on earth, would the neo-cons be for or against working with them?
posted by Hogshead at 2:17 PM on March 1, 2005

Hogshead, haven't you watched plenty enough X-Files to know the answer to that one yet?

The Smoking Man's gotta be a GOPerative.
posted by fenriq at 2:25 PM on March 1, 2005

I suspect "Branton" is severely schizophrenic.
posted by darkmatter at 2:30 PM on March 1, 2005

It wasn't teleported stupid, it just tunneled there.... buried my ass....
posted by zeoslap at 2:34 PM on March 1, 2005

Ah ha! So that is where they moved the Papoose Lake base. I shall update my maps immediately.
posted by gsh at 2:39 PM on March 1, 2005

I love how one of the articles references "recent issues of Omni magazine". I miss Omni, as it ceased publication in April '95.
posted by mrbill at 2:44 PM on March 1, 2005

That's no alien base in the video.
That's the men's room from Club Fetus.
It's the new hotness in the meatpacking district.
posted by Corpus Callosum at 2:58 PM on March 1, 2005

Fine, tandem. Sheesh.
posted by borkingchikapa at 4:25 PM on March 1, 2005

mrbill:

Didn't Omni switch to online-only for awhile? I know it eventually died completely, but I'm pretty sure it was around for a couple years in that form.
posted by Target Practice at 4:56 PM on March 1, 2005

Begin the oblations

Borkingchikapa, pay no heed to the anunaki spies in our midst. Archuleta is real, and, unless I am mistaken, it is actually connected to Agharta, the 100 cities at the earth's center. In your research you seem to have missed the Sun City Girls' soundtrack to the Japanese film about Dulce; it is called Dulce. It is, as they say, on the square and on the level.

From Alan Bishop's liner notes to that landmark record:

"A nervous, stuttering Japanese gentleman phones me in the fall of 1995 requesting soundtrack services from Sun City Girls for his new film project about a secret underground alien base in New Mexico most commonly referred to as "Dulce." ...[T]he real kick for us came when our new Japanese friend finally announced his allegiance to the esoteric Aum Shinrikyo group most famous for the Sarin gas poisoning in a Tokyo subway not long ago. He also professed to be a former associate of Aum technical minister Hideo Murai who was killed by a Korean hitman in April, 1995. Murai...joined the Aum priesthood in 1986, becoming the head of its science unit focusing on the current state of electromagnetic weapons development including EM beams using lasers and plasma....

"We flew to Japan to perform a few shows in April, 1996 and a clandestine meeting was arranged with our mysterious director friend on one of our days off in the electronics district of Osaka which happened to be less than a mile from where we were staying. So Doctor Gocher and I pretended to take a souvenir-gathering stroll down the hill and met "Hachiro Maki" (a pseudonym, I'm sure) nearby in a temple courtyard. After thirty minutes of reviewing rough cuts on his swivel-screen Hi-8 camera and discussing the necessity of anonymity in today's international fast lane, we were one million yen richer with an 8mm tape in my back pocket. Haven't heard from him since...."

So mote it be
posted by mokujin at 6:18 PM on March 1, 2005

Wait a minute -- isn't this nuclear tunnel-boring machine the same thing that someone over on AskMe saw driving down the freeway a few weeks ago??
posted by insideout at 6:20 PM on March 1, 2005

My comment disappeared, no doubt eaten as a food surrogate, by some cyber version, of a flying cyber reptile.
posted by Oyéah at 7:36 PM on March 1, 2005

I was just getting some donuts. Jeez, I borrow the keys and everyone says conspiracy.
posted by TwelveTwo at 7:36 PM on March 1, 2005

It is, as they say, on the square and on the level.

Great, now the Freemasons are involved!
posted by SPrintF at 7:51 PM on March 1, 2005

If there were aliens on earth, would the neo-cons be for or against working with them?

That depends .... are they for or against gay abortions?
posted by ElvisJesus at 8:26 PM on March 1, 2005

Didn't Omni switch to online-only for awhile?

Yeah, then it died out completely two years later when Kathy Keeton Guccione passed away from cancer.

Now I've got an urge to buy all the available issues I can find off eBay and scan them into PDFs..
posted by mrbill at 8:48 PM on March 1, 2005

The Weekly World News, at least, has pictures.

Then again, it costs money.

But not much.
posted by troutfishing at 9:13 PM on March 1, 2005

Looks like most/all of the government jobs in Dulce are for the "Health & Human Services" dept. Hmmm...
posted by bk at 10:00 PM on March 1, 2005

WOW!
I have never seen people who weren't constipated pull so much stuff out of their ass!

I love the way they word statements about stuff so it sounds like only an idiot would disagree with them. "The greys have been raping six year old soccer players for centuries, the only question is how many they rape each year."

{Just in case, Berek hides in closet, adjusts tinfoil hat for maximum reception}
posted by berek at 10:21 PM on March 1, 2005

If they were constipated wouldn't they be unable to get stuff out of their ass?
posted by TwelveTwo at 2:05 AM on March 2, 2005

Everyone knows about Dulce. It's where the cure to HIV was hidden before King Mob's invisibles cell retrieved it back in Volume 2 of The Invisibles.
posted by mikeh at 7:07 AM on March 2, 2005