Fifteen Elvish Ways to Die

March 23, 2005 10:48 AM

Fifteen Elvish Ways to Die. Tidy creatures, elves insist on the cleanest of bathrooms. But don't mix bleach and ammonia. Lohaton's skill with the longbow is of no use to him now.
posted by Count Ziggurat (12 comments total)

Woah. Go igloowhite go!

My favorite story by the same author is You love these machines. These machines are dead. A love story. Also check out In Los Angles, something is always burning, as well as Happy Birthday from Planet Motherfucker.

But I'm totally not sure if any single E2 post is FPP material. Don't get me wrong, I love E2. It's still my primary home on the web. I've been there off and on for nearly four years, despite what my homenode says. And E2 is a vastly underappreciated - if confusing - resource and otherwise wonderful mystery box full of surprise goodies. But a FPP for just one of igloowhite's lesser pieces? I don't know.
posted by loquacious at 11:14 AM on March 23, 2005

loquacious: "But I'm totally not sure if any single E2 post is FPP material. Don't get me wrong, I love E2. ... And E2 is a vastly underappreciated - if confusing - resource and otherwise wonderful mystery box full of surprise goodies. But a FPP for just one of igloowhite's lesser pieces? I don't know."

We need a way to hijack FPPs like this. This FPP, plus your links, have certainly re-introduced me to the Wikipedia-esque-but-less-rigid wonder that is E2, but this is a really poor post. It'd be nice if we could say "bad post, good thread" with a flag.
posted by Plutor at 11:40 AM on March 23, 2005

E2 is totally going to get MeFi'ed. I can hear the server-hamsters screaming and wailing in their little wheels already.

To quote myself from a good day in E2's chatterbox:

"E2 is the way the internet was supposed to be. E2 is a reference collection, a novel that writes itself, poetry that reads to itself, and the shiny toy that never grows dull. It is the potential to exceed the sum of its parts."
posted by loquacious at 11:46 AM on March 23, 2005

I'm totally not sure if any single E2 post is FPP material.
Hmm. Let's have this hammered out then, shall we.

MeTa.
posted by Count Ziggurat at 12:12 PM on March 23, 2005

D'oh! You unruly pants gnome! You're not supposed to call yourself out.
posted by loquacious at 12:38 PM on March 23, 2005

I'm guessing those were supposed to be funny?
posted by fenriq at 1:59 PM on March 23, 2005

Yeah... I don't get it either. Where's the joke?
posted by sonofsamiam at 2:05 PM on March 23, 2005

How about dying on the toilet eating a hamburger?
posted by Pretty_Generic at 2:06 PM on March 23, 2005

After I read the first one, I thought it was possibly a brief description - with poetic license - of how 15 different Elves died in the LOTR and The Hobbit books.

But then I scanned thru and realised how stupid and unfunny and non-LOTR it was.

What fenriq and sonofsamian said.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 3:37 PM on March 23, 2005

I've always preferred this.

Also by the same author, but not about elves: Do not take advice from someone named after a reentry vehicle.
posted by mmcg at 8:17 PM on March 23, 2005

That igloowhite guy has an interesting voice.

This led me to Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan -- The Conspiracy Theory (scroll down), and the E2 guide to music you've never heard of.
posted by dhartung at 9:21 PM on March 23, 2005

I've build up a collection of funny E2 stuff. A smattering:

The Squirrel Diaries
Wave Motion Gun
Dissed by a Five Year Old
Computer Randomly Plays Classical Music
A Child's View of the Army
On the Art of Spider Dancing

There's lots more where that came from, but since I'm new here I'll keep it at that.
posted by JHarris at 12:15 AM on March 24, 2005