"I've become a prostitute"

March 25, 2005 7:52 PM

"I'm going to just come right out and say this... I've been trying to avoid this, to avoid telling this, because if you know this you'll fucking hate me or at least think less of me... I know I'm not a slut, I mean, maybe I am, perhaps I am! but does that matter? ... I've become a prostitute." [nsfw]
posted by tranquileye (71 comments total)

Poor girl. She's brave for coming out, but I'm sure she didn't plan on getting a Metafilter link. Waaay more people are going to be reading her diary than she expected.
posted by painquale at 8:04 PM on March 25, 2005

... Perhaps I am wrong to give little sympathy to those who state how horrible they have become, but do nothing to alter their predicament. This was her choice. I could be mistaken, though, and this might not be the cry for sympathy that I take it as. You never know.
posted by mervin_shnegwood at 8:13 PM on March 25, 2005

You just never want to believe that it can happen to someone so articulate and adept at expressing themself.

I haven't read it far enough back to know how she came to this lifestyle and it is not for me to pass judgement. Since she has already expressed self-loathing/regret I can only hope that she finds her way out.

Sometimes crappy things do happen to good people.
posted by geekyguy at 8:15 PM on March 25, 2005

It's like Closer! Except it's real life!

Maybe.
posted by dhartung at 8:16 PM on March 25, 2005

are we sure this is even real? the main page is an erotica page.
posted by taumeson at 8:19 PM on March 25, 2005

Announcing in your blog that you've become a prostitute is the 21st century equivalent to introducing a new character in a sitcom with wanning ratings. It's the Cousin Oliver Strategy.
posted by crank at 8:19 PM on March 25, 2005

I have no idea who this person is or why this is important. Can someone please summarize for me so that I can be up to date on this?
posted by Arch Stanton at 8:20 PM on March 25, 2005

Geez, for a minute there I though she had gone into investment banking. Glad to see it was nothing THAT sleazy.
posted by HTuttle at 8:21 PM on March 25, 2005

This is a story I've heard before. A little bit at a time, your barriers wear down - perhaps because someone's trying to break you down, or maybe just through circumstantial attrition - and one day, you realise you just agreed to have sex for money. Or you accept money afterwards, and realise that you can do it upfront from here on in. Anyway, I doubt very much that most prostitutes set out on whoredom as a career, or that they made a sharp change from a previous life on the straight and narrow.

I am not inclined to make any judgements, other than that keeping an online diary that identifies you is not smart. Especially in any jurisdiction where prostitution is illegal, or if you don't want your kids to find out one day, or whatever. Shannon, if you're reading this, turn it off.

You just never want to believe that it can happen to someone so articulate and adept at expressing themself.

The one person I know who told me at length what she was doing and why was intelligent, witty, and self-possessed. Whatever turns people to prostitution, it isn't lack of intelligence or verbal ability. People are way more complicated than that.

Maybe this isn't a real account, but it sounds real enough to me. I'm not inclined to go digging further anyway. Not my business, and not intrinsically interesting enough either.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 8:22 PM on March 25, 2005

I think this girl has a ways to go before she hits bottom, and that's very sad.
posted by beth at 8:41 PM on March 25, 2005

At least she doesn't seem to be on heroin.
posted by stratastar at 8:45 PM on March 25, 2005

I second Arch's request. Who is Shannon? Is this another Plain Layne-like novella? I don't get it.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 8:52 PM on March 25, 2005

it's an old story ... a young woman gets disillusioned with relationships ... she's good looking, intelligent, likes sex ... and figures cynically if she's going to get used by men, she might as well get paid for it ... and then doesn't know quite what to feel about it ... even dancers who don't hook feel that way - i've talked to a few ...

sometimes people have to go through what they don't want to figure out what they do want ...
posted by pyramid termite at 9:06 PM on March 25, 2005

crank: hilarious.

...And with my giggling comes some self-consciousness at what a jaded culture we are that we need more ethos for this link to "matter." Mark Morford said something about that here.
posted by frecklefaerie at 9:09 PM on March 25, 2005

"forbidden-fantasies.net" & this is the only blog on the site? There is no doubt in my mind that this is fake.
posted by Item at 9:13 PM on March 25, 2005

Must... resist... MeFi... referential... allusion....
posted by orthogonality at 9:14 PM on March 25, 2005

Arch Stanton writes " I have no idea who this person is or why this is important. Can someone please summarize for me so that I can be up to date on this?"

More importantly, is she hot? Does she have bodacious cans? And is she a big headed German whore, like Pretty_Generic likes?

Must... resist... other... MeFi... referential... allusion....
posted by orthogonality at 9:17 PM on March 25, 2005

Waaay more people are going to be reading her diary than she expected.

Snore... aren't there like a dozen of these prostitute blogs now? The whole "I'm REALLY a PROSTITUTE and HERE's what it's LIKE" thing has been done.
posted by scarabic at 9:24 PM on March 25, 2005

Ugh. Isn't it obvious to anyone that this is just a publicity stunt and/or a viral marketing ploy? And this gets on Metafilter? What are the moderators doing?
posted by aerify at 9:30 PM on March 25, 2005

Yep. I'm jaded. Please visit my blog for the latest developments on my coming out of the closet. Things have been a little slow so I figured why not toss in a gay angle. Oh, I pulled my feeding tube too.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 9:32 PM on March 25, 2005

What geekyguy said. Except sometimes life can be on rails, and the only difference between the articulate and inarticulate is that the former are waxing poetically and over analysing as everything unstoppably goes down the toilet.

They probably don't mix their metaphors either.
posted by bonaldi at 9:41 PM on March 25, 2005

Err. Articulate? Sorry. I'm sure there are articulate prostitutes out there; this isn't one of them. This is an utterly typical, entirely unremarkable girl who is far too hung up on men and drama. It reads like a fucking 12-year-old's Livejournal. What ever happened to the famed MetaFilter cynicism? She sounds exactly like the one stripper with whom I'm currently acquainted — grating, insecure, and obnoxious. Even if she were articulate and interesting, I don't see why I'm supposed to feel pity for her; she's making more money than I probably ever will, and had I had the good luck to be born an attractive woman, I'd be doing exactly the same thing right now and thanking the laughing fates for my good fortune.
posted by IshmaelGraves at 10:05 PM on March 25, 2005

Matt has a new revenue stream!
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 10:06 PM on March 25, 2005

Waaay more people are going to be reading her diary than she expected.
Snore... aren't there like a dozen of these prostitute blogs now? The whole "I'm REALLY a PROSTITUTE and HERE's what it's LIKE" thing has been done.
posted by scarabic at 9:24 PM PST on March 25 [!]

Not only is this genre/archetype trite and contrived, but prior blogs in this vain have been written MUCH better...more poetically, more eloquently, etc. The blogger reads like a 16-year-old girl. OMG my vagina can make money?!! This is sew kewlz!

On preview: IshmaelGraves, so this is what it sounds like when doves cry; we are in the same exact hemisphere.
posted by naxosaxur at 10:10 PM on March 25, 2005

I would have written something here, but why bother? IshmaelGraves just wrote my whole post for me.

Thanks, IshmaelGraves!
posted by Ryvar at 10:11 PM on March 25, 2005

Oh that's horsehit. I completely disagree with people saying she doesn't write well.

Fake or true, she's an excellent writer. I believe what's written. If she's looking to take pride in something it should be her ability to communicate, which I found both very real and emotionally strong and almost heart breaking.

Thank you for the link.
posted by Peter H at 10:17 PM on March 25, 2005

Y'know, if you remove the "/blog/" part, and then read the main page at the resulting URL, you'll find these words:

...the materialal you read on this site is fictional and in no way do I endorse, condone, or recommend you try ANY of this in real life.

And isn't the domain name just sorta kinda like maybe a giveaway?

A one-shot link to a tame fiction site. Gosh.
posted by George_Spiggott at 10:19 PM on March 25, 2005

Peter H, you just want to get into her pants, eh? You've got to be fucking kidding me...
posted by naxosaxur at 10:20 PM on March 25, 2005

These criticisms are pretty revealing, too. But you guys know that already, right? (winks)
posted by Peter H at 10:21 PM on March 25, 2005

I am waiting for the day when someone can announce that they are a sex worker without having to castigate themselves first or without it having to be such a shocking revelation. The comments here make it sound like she's two johns away from loading up on heroin and smothering an infant in the back of a crackhouse. Sex workers (especially female sex workers) get very little respect, even from those who proclaim to be open-minded and freethinking.

A friend of mine is an escort who went on to run a service and most of the women I met through her were intelligent and well-adjusted. Yeah, there were a few troubled girls (like the one in the link posted) that were spiraling downward but those sorts are everywhere. I saw more drug addiction and depression working in retail than I ever saw among the prostitutes I met.

She fucks people for money. Big deal. It doesn't necessarily make her a loser who's about to hit rock bottom. It just means she gets paid for something most of us do for free all the time. Not every woman who chooses to become a prostitute does it because they're lost souls who've run out of options, although I am willing to concede that this particular woman may be looking at the decision that way.

[On preview: So the whole thing may be fictional? Oh well, my point still stands.]
posted by LeeJay at 10:28 PM on March 25, 2005

Going back on my resolve not to inquire - I note that there are neither ads nor links to other services on that page. Which suggests that if it's a fiction, then ironically, it's done for love not money.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 10:28 PM on March 25, 2005

naxosaxur - Ha, I love pants!
No, though, I'm always immediately fond of honest writing. Bullshit or not I found a heart in it. That's my response. Disclaimer that it's all fake or not. The disclaimer might be fake, though. Who would want to write this and have it come back to them?

Apparently the complaint here is, if it's fake, that she doesn't write good properly entertaining whore fanfic, because there's an appropriate template seen on other (extensively read?) whore fanfic blogs and/or whore fanfic poems? The other argument is if she's real she makes too much money and the bitch is obviously too pretty, I mean look at how she writes? So fuck her situation and fuck her for writing about it, maybe?
posted by Peter H at 10:35 PM on March 25, 2005

Is it really like Closer?
posted by Captaintripps at 10:40 PM on March 25, 2005

I have no desire to read anybody's fake whore journal! To hell with the fake whores, bring on the real whores!
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 10:43 PM on March 25, 2005

I skimmed it. Who cares.
posted by angry modem at 10:49 PM on March 25, 2005

Peter H my main problem is that even if she existed (which she doesn't) she has no writing ability whatsoever.

Shannon Imaginary wrote:
"but another mutual friend let him know that I knew he was still all about that girl."

I knew that she knew that Bobby knew that Sue knew that Bobbysue knew that he was still all about that lovedoll.

"I realized all this shortly after. That Paul had told Matt about me, I mean."

I'm not sure I know what she means. Do you?

"But one thing he said during his drunken rant had to do with me and Matt. So... yeah."

So . . . yeah.

"So Matt and Paul sort of both betrayed me. Lol... so many ppl write me asking why my characters in TTT are always betrayed, always screwed, always hurt. To all of you: Do you get it now? I write what I know."

Starts with a LOL, the main course is an admission of cliches, and it ends with a nice breaking of the fourth wall. Wheee!

Also, this was just excruciating:
"He wouldn't return my phone calls and I haven't seen him since."

As to the second point, I agree with LeeJay that sex workers should not be demeaned for what they do for a living. They should be demeaned for what they do to the English language. Oh, and for complaining that they have to choose between making enough to live stripping, or tons of money as a prostitute. A lot of people in life don't have that choice.
posted by Ryvar at 10:57 PM on March 25, 2005

If this is fake, it was a good read.

If this is real, great, enjoy your new revenue stream. Just don't think all men are like your clients.
posted by chime at 11:17 PM on March 25, 2005

el oh el!
posted by blacklite at 11:59 PM on March 25, 2005

Alright, so I did some actual 'investigation' of the main site. Duh-duh-duh, a collection of freely hosted erotic STORIES? Sorry to everyone who thinks this blog in any way is real, it's not.
posted by onalark at 12:50 AM on March 26, 2005

So, consensus is:

1) It's fake
2) It's badly written
3) She wouldn't be deserving of our time anyway

To all those who see a thread with zero comments and decide to make the first: let me be an example to you. It is a dangerous activity.
posted by painquale at 1:35 AM on March 26, 2005

Oh, I pulled my feeding tube too.

Worst euphemism for masturbation this week.



What?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:46 AM on March 26, 2005

The disclaimer at the end of the FPP says NSFW. I thought that meant "not safe for work." I propose this: NSFSB--not safe for sentient beings. Hackneyed fiction playing to conventional "hooker with a heart of gold" heartstrings. I can't wait for the made-for-TV afternoon special, starring Kay Lenz (NSFW & I mean it.)
posted by beelzbubba at 1:54 AM on March 26, 2005

C'mon, aren't most people's lives like bad fiction anyway?
posted by Onanist at 2:53 AM on March 26, 2005

At the moment, I'm inclined to think think that it's fiction, but I'm really not sure.

However, I do like her writing. It's considerably better than the vast majority of personal/confessional material I've read on the 'net.
posted by Clay201 at 4:26 AM on March 26, 2005

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?
posted by fixedgear at 4:31 AM on March 26, 2005

I don't know what's worse -- that it might be crappy memoir or crappy fiction. Either way, how is this interesting again?
posted by youarejustalittleant at 4:39 AM on March 26, 2005

Worst euphemism for masturbation this week.

stavrosthewonderchicken wins!

But we all lose.

Holy. Crap. You. Twisted. Freak. Please give birth to my mutant children, you sexy manwhore.
posted by loquacious at 7:41 AM on March 26, 2005

if there was ever any doubt, shannon's blogger profile and her forbidden fantasies profile are different. also, on the updates page, on jan. 12th, the two year anniversary of her site, she goes on to say this:

"Two years ago today I published a little page on ASSTR.org promising to create a story-collection focusing on the "forbidden" genres of online erotica. The intent was to create a little spot on the ‘Net that could act as a portal to the good, quality stories of this genre—not a place where visitors would be forced to sift through hundreds of crappy stories to get to the good ones, but a place where they could easily find the best forbidden stories the net had to offer."

the whole site is an erotic fiction site, including the blog. please, people, a little investigation next time.
posted by Igor XA at 8:45 AM on March 26, 2005

This whole affair makes me squirmy.
posted by brittney at 8:54 AM on March 26, 2005

OK LeeJay, I'll bite...

I'll concede your point, that choosing to be an escort/hooker/whatever doesn't necessarily mean you're two steps away from heroin. I mean, you like sex and you like the money you can make from it and make the decision without being pushed into it, more power to you.

But I've never understood guys' obsession with strippers/porn stars anyway. I mean, don't get me wrong - not like I wouldn't boink one myself (or wouldn't have prior to being married) - but beyond that? Nosiree bob. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure they're nice people and all, but I don't see how any sort of real emotional intimacy is possible with someone who, in the course of their work, either needs to separate emotion entirely from sex or, worse, has a hard time doing so.
posted by kgasmart at 9:06 AM on March 26, 2005

On preview: IshmaelGraves, so this is what it sounds like when doves cry; we are in the same exact hemisphere.

I'm not sure which hemisphere you're talking about, but whether it's Northern or Western, there are easily more than a billion people in the exact same one.
posted by anapestic at 9:16 AM on March 26, 2005

forbidden-fantasies.net. metafilter is the new gullible.
posted by quonsar at 9:36 AM on March 26, 2005

If it's fake I'm going to chime in with the "not bad writing" camp. The writer is obviously trying to write in the style of somebody who is young, immature, damaged and upset. Yes, it's cliche'd and maybe a bit contrived, but only after knowing that it's fiction. If it's real, it's a tragedy and very sad. Either way, contrived or not, strained writing or not, it has certain qualities that made me read the whole post rather than just skim it. As it was designed to do.
posted by ashbury at 9:49 AM on March 26, 2005

Please visit my blog, where for a low $15 micropatronage fee, you can read all about my heart-rending decisions to hire a prostitute, come out of the closet, become a prostitute, take up drugs, quit drugs, leave home, attempt suicide (three times), fake suicide (three times), turn myself in to the police for last year's unsolved run-by indecent exposure at the retirement home bingo night, lose weight, gain weight, AND MANY MORE!
posted by Krrrlson at 9:56 AM on March 26, 2005

Currently listening to: the sound of coins jingling in my Paypal account.
posted by Krrrlson at 9:57 AM on March 26, 2005

Zounds. Taken in by a work of fiction. Heh heh ...

But, to assume that I've forgotten it's fictitious, I don't see someone becoming a prostitue as so much of a shocker. I've known my fair share of prostitutes (not in the Biblical sense, mind you). I've watched some of them make the decision to so. Some of them were happy with their choice, albeit still ashamed. Some of them hated themselves for it. But it is the most expedient way for a woman (or a young, attractive homosexual man ... I've had my fair share of propositions before ... though I don't much swing that way) with nymphomaniacal tendencies to make a good amount of money.

I've also known a few hetero male prostitutes. Everyone thought they were lucky, getting paid to sleep with women. Such a disturbing contradiction ...
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 9:59 AM on March 26, 2005

But I've never understood guys' obsession with strippers/porn stars anyway. I mean, don't get me wrong - not like I wouldn't boink one myself (or wouldn't have prior to being married) - but beyond that? Nosiree bob. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure they're nice people and all, but I don't see how any sort of real emotional intimacy is possible with someone who, in the course of their work, either needs to separate emotion entirely from sex or, worse, has a hard time doing so.

I'm not sure it's wise to conflate strippers/porn stars with prostitutes. In the sense that they are all in the sex trade and occasionally overlap, yes, they're very similar, but I've seen a much wider range of prostitues than strippers or porn stars. To be on film or on stage performing and to be in the audience watching is a different type of interaction than that which occurs between a prostitute and his/her clients and I imagine wanting what you can't have leads to the obsession that some men (and women) develop for them.

As for emotional intimacy, that's so complicated. Certainly some of the clients feel emotional intimacy with the prostitutes they see. It might be an illusion but it fulfills a need. Others see prostitutes precisely because there is no emotional intimacy, just sex with their ideal type of woman or man.

Most of the escorts I've talked to have said that they do have to distance themselves emotionally from their clients but so does any professional who deals with people during intense circumstances. I would argue that a doctor dealing with a very ill patient is involved in an extremely emotionally intimate situation but no one would fault the doctor for developing an emotional barrier to keep them from getting too deeply connected or think that they are empty and shallow simply because they don't become emotionally involved with each patient they see.

I think the problem with trying to understand why prostitutes choose to sell sex is that it is nearly impossible to disentagle the issue from the prickly attitudes that many people hold about sex in general. If sex is shameful then the person selling it must be a lowlife. If sex is dirty then the person selling it must be filth. If sex can only happen when love is present, then the person selling it is heartless and preying on the emotions of the weak. But if sex is healthy and normal then the person selling should be no more shocking than the guy at the newstand or the woman who sells you your shoes or the physical therapist who loosens up your joints.
posted by LeeJay at 10:50 AM on March 26, 2005

Bad writer. Don't care what ya say. If you can't put a damned question mark where it belongs, keep your words in your head.

The blog is real. The stories Shannon writes for ff.net are not.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 11:51 AM on March 26, 2005

But if sex is healthy and normal then the person selling should be no more shocking than the guy at the newstand or the woman who sells you your shoes or the physical therapist who loosens up your joints.

Well, I'll buy that to a certain extent, the caveat being that sex is way more intimate even than physical therapy. It is, in fact, the most physically intimate act that exists. Which is why, I suspect, it's retained a certain stigma over the centuries, across cultural lines, etc.

And it is this extreme intimacy that helps bond one human being to another. Temporarily, in some cases. But I have to wonder about someone who can just snap off the emotional lightswitch when it comes to sex. I mean, I've had one-night stands like anyone else. But to the extent that one-night stands are your job, and there are perhaps several of them on any given working night, well, how do you do that without just checking out, emotionally?

But then, with someone else, you're going to be able to flip the light switch back on; sex is suddenly going to hold some sort of emotional significance? I wouldn't trust that it could.

But that's just why I personally would never go for my own "Pretty Woman" moment. Your mileage may vary.
posted by kgasmart at 12:35 PM on March 26, 2005

Forbidden Fantasies on ASSTR (alt.sex.stories text repository).
From the Collections listing for FF:

I am a 21-year-old college student attending school at a major university in the southeastern United States. I've been building and scrapping web-sites for years, but this is my first one with "erotica". I'm making the site to showcase my favorite stories of a forbidden nature (or at least my favorites which I have permission to post!). I know that pretty much all the stories around here are of a "forbidden nature", but I tend to get most turned-on by ones of the most sinful topics, such as incest, rape, humiliation, etc (I guess I could use some time on the couch, huh?). The site isn't limited to just those, though. Just check it out and see!

Story categories: Sci/Fi, Teenagers, Adults, non-consensual, consensual, dark, incest, rape, mind control, etc (basically, everything "naughty")!

E-Mail: Punky_Girl04[at yahoo]

But all that doesn't mean that the blog is fake. If you go back through the archives, it's mostly your typical boring blog stuff, but with a sex and relationships focus. She sounds very depressed, seeking outlet through sex: she's been working in a strip club for awhile, dating a couple shitty guys and recently made a decision that's taking her down an even more depressing path. Why is this so hard to believe?
posted by me3dia at 3:25 PM on March 26, 2005

The blog is real. The stories Shannon writes for ff.net are not.

I think the evidence preponderously points to this girl's blog NOT being real. I think it weighs on you to document this statement a little better [linkies, linkies!] if you expect me to believe this is a work of fact.
posted by onalark at 3:26 PM on March 26, 2005

I am relieved to know there are people out there willing to invest their time and expertise into determining whether someone's prostitution story is real. Soon there'll be nothing left in the world but truth.
posted by Krrrlson at 3:41 PM on March 26, 2005

Nothing but truth.

And hookers.
posted by loquacious at 5:58 PM on March 26, 2005

Nothing but truth.

And hookers.

Possible movie title:

"The Truth About Whores And Blogs"
posted by fandango_matt at 6:11 PM on March 26, 2005

Please visit my blog, where for a low $15 micropatronage fee, you can read all about my heart-rending decisions to hire a prostitute, come out of the closet, become a prostitute, etc....

Links please!
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 7:17 PM on March 26, 2005

Please don't link to "pulling my feeding tube". I'm trying to eat here.
posted by loquacious at 7:19 PM on March 26, 2005

I was a hooker way before it was cool.
posted by scrim at 8:21 PM on March 26, 2005

I'm out on the limb with me3dia -- I think it's real. Dull, bad writing, but real, as such things go (60-80%). She has the alter-ego in the serial story; the blog isn't written as erotica in the same sense that the story is. The domain name derives from the ASSTR site, where the author posted both her erotic fiction and -- in the Shanon persona -- posted a diary and runs a forum where:

• she announced the conversion of the diary to a blog


• she asks for advice in a situation that became a blog entry


• solicited feedback on getting into stripping


• went into detail about her difficulties getting a regular gig

... and so on and so forth. I don't think this constitutes incontrovertible evidence -- noone knows you're a dog, and all -- but it's probably pretty difficult to keep up a persona that consistently for that long without some level of correspondence with reality. Even the best flame out, y'know?
posted by dhartung at 10:16 PM on March 26, 2005

The other hemisphere.
posted by flabdablet at 5:43 AM on March 27, 2005

I would totaly be a man-whore as long as the chick was hot. And a chick. That last part is important.

Strip clubs always make me a little depressed.
posted by delmoi at 7:59 AM on March 28, 2005

You know, "Shannon" could be a fortyish fat balding guy getting a kick out of the fuss he's causing pretending to be his dream wench.

One never knows, do one?
posted by laurenbove at 4:08 PM on April 1, 2005