Words that sound dirty but aren't.
March 31, 2005 9:07 PM   Subscribe

Words that sound dirty but aren't. I'm a big fan of the white-breasted nuthatch. You?
posted by diastematic (58 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
this is gold.
thanks.
posted by Busithoth at 9:13 PM on March 31, 2005


Is it me or is IKEA full of dirty words? Expect to see the WILLY storage rack, the FUCK shelving system, or coming soon, The CUNT bathroom cabinet.
posted by marvin at 9:13 PM on March 31, 2005


Windfucker???

What the hell kinda etymology does that have, I wonder.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 9:14 PM on March 31, 2005


Great tits.
Invagination.
Phallus impudens.
Cock-up.
posted by orthogonality at 9:19 PM on March 31, 2005


They missed out Regina, canola, annus horribilis, fartlek, twee, and skid marks.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 9:21 PM on March 31, 2005


Subpoena. Prostrate. When I was pre-teen they felt obscene (that will teach me to read above my grade and be too lazy to pick up a dictionary). "She gently prostrated his subpoena." Does it get any dirtier?
posted by hifimofo at 9:28 PM on March 31, 2005


There's always bluetits (link somewhat disappointingly safe for work).
posted by clevershark at 9:31 PM on March 31, 2005


I remember a Letterman Top 10 list with the same subject, but all I could find was this one... The one I remember must be from the NBC days...
posted by Robot Johnny at 9:35 PM on March 31, 2005


Penal servitude.

Oh I say!

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posted by uncanny hengeman at 9:42 PM on March 31, 2005


Muckluck.
posted by Arch Stanton at 9:47 PM on March 31, 2005


I can't believe they didn't have one of the most famous ones, "niggardly".
posted by Dag Maggot at 9:47 PM on March 31, 2005


No "coxswain"? For fuck's sake.
posted by greasepig at 10:20 PM on March 31, 2005


Robot Johnny - I think you're thinking of the one on this page. My favorite is "Shaking Hands with Abraham Lincoln".
posted by greasepig at 10:22 PM on March 31, 2005


Muckluck.

Bulbous bouffant.
posted by Robot Johnny at 10:55 PM on March 31, 2005


I need to locate a dictionary that still lists the definition of "nigger in the woodpile".
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 11:48 PM on March 31, 2005


I've always been fond of the Galapagos Island's "Blue-footed Booby". Its just so goofy-sounding, I have to love it.
posted by Goofyy at 11:49 PM on March 31, 2005


I had a girlfriend once who said that "plethora" was one of the dirtiest sounding words that was not dirty. I am inclined to agree.
posted by synecdoche at 11:52 PM on March 31, 2005


Comedian Robert Klein had a routine about this years ago; it's on one of his recordings. He cited "flautist" ("He's a flautist! We caught him up in the hills with a 7 year old child!"), "Guam," and "mucilage."
posted by pmurray63 at 12:18 AM on April 1, 2005


fuscous, a shade of greyish brown.
posted by brevity at 12:19 AM on April 1, 2005


Papal bull.
posted by scody at 12:31 AM on April 1, 2005


This is exactly what the National Spelling Bee has to look out for. I worked there as a staffer and somebody got in trouble for letting a dickcissel slip in. Anyhow, the classic pseudo-dirty word is even harder to detect.

It's "phacometer," but it's pronounced fuck-AH-muh-terr. I think it's a lens grinder used by opticians.
posted by jonp72 at 1:54 AM on April 1, 2005


Personally I'm a fan of fucitol
posted by stateofmind_77 at 2:28 AM on April 1, 2005


I am fecund.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 2:34 AM on April 1, 2005


Shitticism - A scatological figure of speech

I was less impressed when I realized that the author doesn't know what "scatological" means. And then I realized he was just using a dictionary to look for false-friendlies of naughty words.
posted by Mayor Curley at 3:35 AM on April 1, 2005


Schism.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 4:37 AM on April 1, 2005


A tufted titmouse . Needs a boob job.
posted by recurve at 4:57 AM on April 1, 2005


Pianist.

Funny how people how many people intentionally mispronounce the word (pe-ANN-ist) to avoid sounding like they are saying "penis". I mean, grow up, fuckers.
posted by psmealey at 5:11 AM on April 1, 2005


Manhole.
Masticate.

("Manhole" is my favorite one. Until someone points out that it sounds dirty, most people don't notice. But once it's pointed out, it's hard to even remember what it actually means. Or maybe that's just me.)
posted by rusty at 5:25 AM on April 1, 2005


I always thought that was how one pronounced "pianist". It's not PE-an-o, is it?
posted by casarkos at 5:26 AM on April 1, 2005


Inevitably, I'm reminded of this.

Wankel rotary enginel.
posted by Decani at 6:02 AM on April 1, 2005


My all-time favorite: petcock.
posted by scratch at 6:46 AM on April 1, 2005


Do pronouns count?

My favorite town: Coxsackie. Pronounced Cock Sackie. It's claim to fame: the Coxsackie Virus. Priceless. I've always wanted a tshirt that says Coxsackie is for Lovers.
posted by spicynuts at 7:13 AM on April 1, 2005


Cuirass always makes me giggle.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 7:17 AM on April 1, 2005


Boobrie

Schist
posted by Foosnark at 7:29 AM on April 1, 2005


Aer Lingus
posted by jalexei at 7:35 AM on April 1, 2005


I always thought that was how one pronounced "pianist". It's not PE-an-o, is it?

It does seem a bit counterintuitive, but a "pee-ANN-o" is in fact played by a "PEE-a-nist."
posted by jalexei at 7:38 AM on April 1, 2005


Funny how people how many people intentionally mispronounce the word (pe-ANN-ist) to avoid sounding like they are saying "penis". I mean, grow up, fuckers.

I think most people who mispronounce "pianist" just don't know the agreed pronunciation, & just extend the word from the instrument.

But, newsreporters definitely mispronounce "Uranus" to avoid "yer anus" and end up saying "urine us"... fucked any way they go, really.

yeah, "shitticism" and "windfucker" disappointed me; their definitions indicate that they're not randomly similar in sound to dirty words but are based on them. And "skid marks" is only dirty after having been made into a dirty metaphor for something else.
posted by mdn at 7:39 AM on April 1, 2005


Plumbing terms from my hardware sales days-

ballcock : noun
: an automatic valve whose opening and closing are controlled by a spherical float at the end of a lever

petcock: noun
: a small faucet, or valve for releasing a gas (as air) for draining
posted by X4ster at 9:31 AM on April 1, 2005


There was a book on this subject, something about fartleks.
My favorite phrase was from farming:

"Head Smut is eating my corn whole!"
posted by BrotherCaine at 11:10 AM on April 1, 2005


It does seem a bit counterintuitive, but a "pee-ANN-o" is in fact played by a "PEE-a-nist."

In Britain, yes. Not in America; Merriam-Webster lists pee-ANN-ist as the preferred pronunciation. I remember once asking a pianist how it was pronounced, and she said pee-ANN-ist, so I've stuck with that ever since.

Windfucker???
What the hell kinda etymology does that have, I wonder.


Just what it sounds like. But it hasn't been used for the last four centuries, so it's something of a ringer. Some nice quotes from the second ("fig. as a term of opprobrium") definition in the OED:

1602 Narcissus MS. Rawl. Poet. 212, lf. 80, I tell you, my little windfuckers, had not a certaine melancholye ingendred with a nippinge dolour overshadowed the sunne shine of my mirthe, I had beene I pre, sequor, one of your consorte. 1609 B. JONSON Silent Wom. I. iv. (1620) C3b, Did you euer heare such a Wind-fucker, as this? c1611 CHAPMAN Iliad Pref. A4, There is a certaine enuious Windfucker, that houers vp and downe, laboriously ingrossing al the air with his luxurious ambition

And on googling, I discover that that very entry was quoted on 9622.com by none other than that cunning linguist Miguel. "Regarding Stav's fucknard. There may be no fuckwit in the Oxford English Dictionary (deep, kidney-wounding bow to Marquis and the great university that is McGill) but I discovered a very serviceable fuckwind, cross-referenced to windfucker, which sounds like Hawkwind's triple album of bass farts..." Come back, Migs! All is forgiven!
posted by languagehat at 11:36 AM on April 1, 2005 [1 favorite]


What I wanna know is, how much can we raise to pay some creative Mefier to successfully pull off using all these terms in a single, say, 10 page story?
posted by kimota at 12:57 PM on April 1, 2005


Kimota. Incredible idea. Now we're talkin'.

I noticed that the author of that page is also a writer -- has a few chapters of a book online. Perhaps we should challenge him to it, taking into account the marvelous additions the mefi group here has added.
posted by diastematic at 5:09 PM on April 1, 2005


Funny how people how many people intentionally mispronounce the word (pe-ANN-ist) to avoid sounding like they are saying "penis". I mean, grow up, fuckers.
posted by psmealey at 8:11 AM EST on April 1 [!]


When I was about 12, I was playing the piano and one of my brother's friends came in and said "Oh, I see you are a penis, too." At least that is what I thought he said. I hotly denied it as I was actually a vagina.

My favorite from the list is "futtock." That sounds extra smutty.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 8:55 PM on April 1, 2005


George Carlin has a small collection of these in "Brain Droppings":

Seersucker
Hormone
Octopus
Trampoline: A sexual lubricant popular with sluts
Pussyfoot
Beer nuts
Cotton balls
Woodpecker

Rusty, doggone you and your "manhole"! The sort of thing I will never forget.
posted by Aknaton at 9:59 PM on April 1, 2005


cummingtonite.

rusty: "Mandate" always makes me laff.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 12:24 AM on April 2, 2005


Aer Lingus.

Cunnard Lines.

(Yes I know. Wouldn't it be funny if they merged.)
posted by uncanny hengeman at 12:29 AM on April 2, 2005


Since cummingtonite has arrived, it's probably worth mentioning Alan Cumming's line of products, e.g. Cumming: the Fragrance.
posted by Aknaton at 11:27 AM on April 2, 2005


Consider the Bushtit
posted by y2karl at 1:54 PM on April 2, 2005



Fakir.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 4:31 PM on April 3, 2005


Anally orientated.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 9:15 PM on April 6, 2005



Discombobulate.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 11:03 PM on April 7, 2005


Social intercourse.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 8:03 PM on April 10, 2005



Heimlich maneuver.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 9:11 PM on April 11, 2005


A trip to Djibooti through Bangkok with a third leg to Phuket.
posted by BrotherCaine at 6:22 PM on April 13, 2005



Slam.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 9:45 PM on April 19, 2005



Magna cum laude.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 1:00 AM on April 25, 2005



Curmudgeon.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 3:56 AM on April 27, 2005



Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 3:57 PM on April 28, 2005


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