The First Earth Battalion hereby declares its primary allegiance to the planet.

August 10, 2005 10:11 AM

The First Earth Battalion [5MB PDF]. Jim Channon went on a two year research mission for the US Army to discover how they could become more cunning - in 1979 he presented them with this book. As the person presenting this text only version says "If nothing else, the following paper does suggest why drug testing became common for all ranks during the mid-1980s"
posted by dodgygeezer (22 comments total)

I heard about this in Jon Ronson's book The Men Who Stare At Goats (which is well worth reading) and was surprised to find a whole copy of this out there. Really, the text version is fine but you need to see the PDF to soak up all that Star Trek meets Joy of Sex imagery.
posted by dodgygeezer at 10:17 AM on August 10, 2005

For more than you'd ever want to know about Jim Channon, his Battalion and the way those "wacky" First Earth ideas are still shaping foreign policy, read Jon Ronson's The Men Who Stare At Goats.
posted by grabbingsand at 10:19 AM on August 10, 2005

Um. Yes. Like the man said.
posted by grabbingsand at 10:19 AM on August 10, 2005

Wow, this is awesome; not exactly "Kill 'em all let god sort 'em out."
posted by PHINC at 10:25 AM on August 10, 2005

So the killing things with your mind weapon. Would this be for when your rifle and pistol run out of ammo? And let's say if your out of grenades, you lost your knives, your radio, your ability to hide, or punch people, like THEN it would be your best available weapon?
posted by parallax7d at 10:37 AM on August 10, 2005

Straight from the desk of Col. J. Ripper.

Peace on Earth. Purity of Essence. Peace on Earth. Purity of Essence.
posted by de void at 11:24 AM on August 10, 2005

"If nothing else, the following paper does suggest why drug testing became common for all ranks during the mid-1980s"

I guess all the stoned soldiers and the Reagan era "War on Drugs" had nothing to do with this change, it was obviously this guy's book.
posted by Pollomacho at 11:41 AM on August 10, 2005

Along with Ronson's book, you can also watch his documentary mini-series "Crazy Rulers of the World". You get to meet Channon in the first episode, and l will tell you this - the man is bugshit insane. He lives in Hawaii (I think) in a house that looks like a combination of a Buddhist temple and an army bivouac. If Dennis Hopper had played Kurtz instead of the journalist in Apocalypse Now, the result would probably be very similar to Channon.

According to Ronson, the slogan "Be All You Can Be" comes from Channon's New Age ethic of 'personal fulfillment' in the service of ethical force (whatever that is). It's a bit creepy to follow Ronson's story and see just how deeply this tittering lunatic has influenced American military culture over the last thirty years.
posted by palinode at 11:59 AM on August 10, 2005 [1 favorite]

Insane? I think you all are merely shitting your chakras in fear of his brilliance, I submit thus:

BATTLE TUNING:

Using traditional and New Age ideas:

* Rise
* Yogic cat stretch
* Primal scream and leap
* Belgian waffle
* Ginseng tab regulator
* Speed [ amphetamines] or morning thunder tea [EN6]
* Karate kata
* Primal low frequency lights
* Paced primal rock [music] in our ears
* Discordant sounds for them [the enemy]
* Advance
posted by Divine_Wino at 12:13 PM on August 10, 2005

holy smokes. this is batshit crazy. the bibliography cites castaneda. this really gives some punctuation to the men who stare at goats. it reads like someone went through est while tripping.
posted by 3.2.3 at 12:15 PM on August 10, 2005

Here's Jim Channon's website - it doesn't seem to say much about the battalion so I left it out of the post.
posted by dodgygeezer at 12:16 PM on August 10, 2005

PDF not working for me....
posted by cosmicbandito at 12:34 PM on August 10, 2005

Brilliant, thanks for finding this.

And the torrents of the show are out there, well worth it.
posted by gsb at 12:41 PM on August 10, 2005

PDF not working for me either. Acrobat says there is an error in the file...
posted by Bugbread at 12:44 PM on August 10, 2005

An alternate PDF source.
posted by grabbingsand at 12:51 PM on August 10, 2005

Cannon's promotional video on his keynote speaking:
quicktime video

I reccomend listening to it without seeing it first, and then watching it. If you watch it first you won't.... accept it.

Wow.
posted by cavalier at 1:00 PM on August 10, 2005

My tax dollars paid for this?

[pdf works when loaded into a FireFox tab, but not when saving the pdf file to disk, at least for me]
posted by caddis at 1:41 PM on August 10, 2005

cavalier, i followed your instructions. WHOA

This guy sounds like a Scotsman who lived in Kentucky for a few years then moved to Hawaii. What's going on there? My other impression about his speech: man, I hate hippie masks so much.

The initial link was pretty amazing, though. I love the handwriting and the diagrams. Far out and kooky, but amazing. I like how the ultimate evolved soldier looks like a total head with beard and all. At first I was ready to dismiss it all as just another rambling new age manifesto, but I decided to read it to experience the handwriting. Some of it actually makes sense. As if the military told him to go ahead and go as far down his path as he wanted so that they could later pick little pieces of what they liked from his final product. Very detailed thoughts. But in the end, I got the same rambling psychedelic manifesto vibe. Shocking, amazing stuff. Wow. Woooooooowwwwwwww, maaaan ;)
posted by redteam at 2:38 PM on August 10, 2005

odinsdream - I'd guess 'night vision foodstuffs' would mean carrots and the like, as the keratin in them is good for the rods and cones in the eye. Better vision, day and night. Also when peeled to a point they can make a particularly diabolical weapon (a la the Belgian Waffle), as once used they can be washed off and eaten, thus disposing of the evidence. Note: because one cannot sharpen a banana, it makes a poor weapon, but good eatin'.
"Mother Earth...My boots will always kiss your face. Oi. Oi. Oi."
posted by Zack_Replica at 2:59 PM on August 10, 2005

Oh it's 'The Urantia Book' he keeps referring to. Hmm. I kept reading that as Unarius (another linky). They're buggy too.
Also noted that the "Go Inside" symbol (page 15) causes weird rays to emanate from the crotchal area. Will this help me pull chicks, d'you think?
posted by Zack_Replica at 3:18 PM on August 10, 2005

I own a vintage printed hardcopy from the 70s.
posted by stbalbach at 10:29 PM on August 10, 2005

Pray that this guy and the timecube guy never meet. For that would be bad.
posted by Rhomboid at 1:32 AM on August 11, 2005