SpermDonorReality

August 24, 2005 10:21 PM

I want your child ... and nothing else! The newest reality show from billionaire, and Big Brother creator, John de Mol about a woman looking for a sperm donor to conceive a child. Sounds like more great programming.
posted by benkolb (30 comments total)

Yeah I'll get right on not watching that
posted by angry modem at 10:26 PM on August 24, 2005

Sounds like a great show with which to test out the "thumbs down" button on my Tivo.
posted by wakko at 10:35 PM on August 24, 2005

Why are second and third 'big' ideas usually so lousy? Because lightening doesn't often strike twice in the same place. Folks tend to overestimate the impact of their own influence when it comes to highly speculative ventures such as show biz where dumb luck is such an important element.
posted by scheptech at 11:05 PM on August 24, 2005

Am I the only one to realize that this might be comic gold. Think American Idol plus HBO's Real Sex.
posted by benkolb at 11:43 PM on August 24, 2005

You guys called me away from 'America's Funniest Home Videos XXV : The Reconning' for this?
posted by Balisong at 11:53 PM on August 24, 2005

Woman seeks sperm from stranger.... Sounds like a nightclub near where I went to Uni.
posted by bangalla at 12:06 AM on August 25, 2005

Well, the only unfortunate part about all this is that it is airing in the Netherlands. So I don't think I'll be able to see it in action.
posted by benkolb at 12:13 AM on August 25, 2005

Why are second and third 'big' ideas usually so lousy?

I'm not a big fan of the stuff that the guy puts out, but this is hardly John de Mol's second or third idea. For better or worse, he's one of the most succesful independent TV show producers globally at the moment.
posted by magullo at 2:08 AM on August 25, 2005

The show isn't broadcasted yet. Its one of five reality show concepts tested in another TV program, so the audience get to see how shows like this are pitched to a network.

To be honest, it makes extremely boring television.

And, by the way, executive producer of the sperm show would be Eyeworks, not John De Mol's Endemol or any other of his initiatives. The network it could be shown on is De Mol's brainchild, though. Eyeworks is the company that brought the BBC 'test the nation'.
posted by ijsbrand at 3:31 AM on August 25, 2005

I've got to stop saying "OK, THIS one sounds like the worse reality show ever". They keep getting worse and somehow find a way to make each idea even less interesting than the last. How much longer can this go on before reality show programing domination goes away the way prime time westerns did? I sense that the last reality show will be about trying to create a reality program.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 5:08 AM on August 25, 2005

The ultimate reality program will be broadcast 24 hours a day from the webcams in every room, in every street, and under every bush.

Each viewer can select any webcam in the world to watch, and we can all watch each other watching each other.

The show will be called "If you've nothing to hide, you've nothing to fear."
posted by cleardawn at 5:15 AM on August 25, 2005

If this show doesn't include either bukkake or sperm-mounted nano-cameras...i'll stick to "What Not To Wear."
posted by tpl1212 at 5:23 AM on August 25, 2005

Peh. This is just a (gimmicky) twist on the standard dating show, a genre which predates anything that can be called "reality television" by many years. In fact, it's an idea that Endemol have considered and rejected in the past, which is probably why it's finally popping up in this odd sort of meta-reality-show format.

Anyway, this idea's nothing compared to the (as yet unproduced) one where couples are competing to adopt a child. The grand finale would have featured the mother who's giving the child up for adoption, going into labour on a giant rotating platform. The couples who've made it through to the final stand around the outside of the wheel, and whichever couple the mother is pointing towards when the baby comes out are the winners...

Now that's high quality television.
posted by flashboy at 5:26 AM on August 25, 2005

There is already a dedicated channel for strictly reality television, all it is is replays of some of the worst of Fox's reality TV.
posted by benkolb at 5:26 AM on August 25, 2005

Next up the new reality series, "Paint Drying". To be followed an equally exciting episode of "Grass Growing".

Actually with all the talk about Cindy Sheehan these days by the right-wing media the phrase "I want your child ... and nothing else!" would seem to be an apt motto for the Bush administration's foreign policy.
posted by clevershark at 5:34 AM on August 25, 2005

benkolb writes "There is already a dedicated channel for strictly reality television, all it is is replays of some of the worst of Fox's reality TV."

You mean shows with titles such as "World's blankiest blank"?
posted by clevershark at 5:34 AM on August 25, 2005

You mean shows with titles such as "World's blankiest blank"?

Or "When Blanking Blanks Attack VII"
posted by unreason at 5:42 AM on August 25, 2005

...competing with four other reality TV programs, one of which follows five former prostitutes starting a cafe.

Can I watch that one instead?
posted by Robot Johnny at 6:25 AM on August 25, 2005

A new low. When, oh when, will this reality show craze end?
posted by caddis at 6:26 AM on August 25, 2005

Of course, we all know which network will produce the U.S. edition of the show. After "The Swan," they can't get any lower.
posted by cerebus19 at 7:53 AM on August 25, 2005

The ultimate reality program will be:
posted by cleardawn at 8:15 AM EST on August 25 [!

Launder this! Sperm, blood, pus. Nothing fazes The Laundress.

Smell Me The pretty bachelorette wearing a blindfold must chose a mate by smelling the contenders after they have eaten raw garlic, biked 8 hours in the hot sun, and eaten 6 large bean burritos.

You Make Me Sick Contestants use various ways to make their partners vomit. Their creativity and speed is judged by the celebrity panel consisting of Steven Segal, Ashley Olsen, and a fat black judge to be named at a later date.

Tits Ahoy Unsuspecting women on a pleasure cruise are surprised by their husbands with breast implants.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:54 AM on August 25, 2005

the husbands have breast implants? I know MY wife would be surprised by that
posted by edgeways at 8:44 AM on August 25, 2005

Truth is, it doesn't seem any dumber or less tasteful than any other reality show aired so far.
Reality Shows = absolute crap. There's not really many different degrees of crap. It's either crap or it isn't crap. This, along with all the others, sounds like crap.
Except for Pimp my Ride, of course. That's pure gold.
posted by signal at 8:54 AM on August 25, 2005

Of course, we all know which network will produce the U.S. edition of the show. After "The Swan," they can't get any lower.

"Who's Your Daddy" was worse.
posted by SisterHavana at 9:34 AM on August 25, 2005

I still wish they would actually make This one. I know somewhere, some Producer is kicking himself for not thinking of it first...
posted by Debaser626 at 9:51 AM on August 25, 2005

...competing with four other reality TV programs, one of which follows five former prostitutes starting a cafe.

Or what about 5 former cafe owners prostituting themselves...

I would love to see a Joe Citizenship TV show... 30 women from war-torn and impoverished 3rd World countries compete to marry an US or European citizen. After he picks one, it's revealed that he's a North Korean!!! WHAT YOU SAY?! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
posted by Debaser626 at 10:00 AM on August 25, 2005

No, no, no - a family of asylum seekers compete against a family of xenophobes in the ultimate citizenship showdown. They're removed from the country, and have to go head-to-head in a series of extreme challenges to get back in. Each family member's citizenship is up for grabs! How will the Joneses react when only three of them make it back in, and they're forced to live with Mrs al-Khwarizmi and her eldest son? And how will Julie and Brett cope in Uzbekistan? Our cameras will be following them all the way...
posted by flashboy at 10:16 AM on August 25, 2005

I'm waiting for the Puppy Channel. All puppies, all the time! You could just turn it on whenever you are feeling rotten and be cheered up by watching a bunch of puppies playing with each other. Who wouldn't watch that?
posted by Roger Dodger at 11:02 AM on August 25, 2005

Puppy Channel. Actually, I'd watch that. Kitty Channel too.
posted by Smedleyman at 12:06 PM on August 25, 2005

I'd watch the Puppy Channel. I doubt I'd be the only one.

After all, this seemed to do pretty well.
posted by SisterHavana at 3:03 PM on August 25, 2005