maybe not

February 23, 2006 1:53 PM

So you want to hear the new Guns N Roses tracks.
posted by The Jesse Helms (74 comments total)

I did not.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:59 PM on February 23, 2006

no, me either.
posted by quonsar at 2:01 PM on February 23, 2006

man , am i the only one , that started wincing during the "blues" track?
posted by nola at 2:01 PM on February 23, 2006

God no.
posted by influx at 2:01 PM on February 23, 2006

I don't even want to hear the old Guns N Roses tracks.
posted by sonofsamiam at 2:02 PM on February 23, 2006

Yes!

On second thought, no.
posted by brain_drain at 2:03 PM on February 23, 2006

I find it very funny that the "new" link is file not found.
posted by Peter H at 2:04 PM on February 23, 2006

no, me either.

neither.

I actually want to hear them. They're still downloading, now.
posted by shmegegge at 2:05 PM on February 23, 2006

Hm, very mediocre over-produced not-very-rocking little ditties. That was so worth the wait. (The fact that it's crap music doesn't mean this wasn't a good post, though.)
posted by Wolfdog at 2:07 PM on February 23, 2006

Sadly, Axl still thinks November Rain is the kind of music he should be making.

Hint: It is not.
posted by team lowkey at 2:09 PM on February 23, 2006

I wanted to hear them. Now I'm sorry I did.
posted by MrMoonPie at 2:10 PM on February 23, 2006

Wowee THE BLUES is Ween "The Pod"-era worthy.
posted by Peter H at 2:10 PM on February 23, 2006

Suddenly I want to hear them!

Aaand … I don't again.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:12 PM on February 23, 2006

Second sample track: "There Was A Time" Yup. Gosh, I think I'll print Guns and Ros... er... GNR in big letters on a black T Shirt. Maybe truncate the name of the song too... like they did within this most ironic link:

GNR-TWAT.mp3
posted by hal9k at 2:13 PM on February 23, 2006

I'm blown away by those edgy beats they laid down.
Yikes.
They think it's 1997.
posted by chococat at 2:15 PM on February 23, 2006

Nope, not me. I abandoned radio precisely because of drivel like GNR some years ago.
posted by Devils Rancher at 2:16 PM on February 23, 2006

(struggles through all three tracks, flinches, jumps back to WFMU for an emergency detox)
posted by Peter H at 2:16 PM on February 23, 2006

Now Axl just has to borrow the Metallica playbook and sue the blogger for distributing his music. Only then can he guarantee irrelevance.
posted by StephenV at 2:16 PM on February 23, 2006

That was worth waiting 10 years for.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 2:17 PM on February 23, 2006

It's weird for the Wiki link to describe GNR as "authentic." Not a word I would have ever used to describe that band. So they weren't as vapid as most hair metal glam bands -- they still were a frickin' hair metal glam band.
posted by teece at 2:18 PM on February 23, 2006

Guys, stop it, you're killing him!


(sucking sound)
posted by Peter H at 2:21 PM on February 23, 2006

But they are the authentic hair metal glam band.
posted by ChasFile at 2:21 PM on February 23, 2006

Sadly, a GNR lyric came to mind regarding what's left of the group and these tracks:

"I used to love her, but I had to kill her"

This stuff is just terrible.
posted by mrbill at 2:24 PM on February 23, 2006

Here's my impression of Axl:

Howl honk screech yowza I QUIT!

Go 'way, hasbeen.
posted by davelog at 2:25 PM on February 23, 2006

wow. really terrible.
posted by shmegegge at 2:28 PM on February 23, 2006

Welcome to the jungle!
posted by tommasz at 2:29 PM on February 23, 2006

Have anything from THIS CENTURY?
posted by HTuttle at 2:32 PM on February 23, 2006

I kept imagining Walken, saying "The song is great, but it could use more piano."
posted by Mr_Zero at 2:33 PM on February 23, 2006

no but seriously. fucking horrible.

and I even LIKE the old GnR.
posted by shmegegge at 2:34 PM on February 23, 2006

the full reclusiveness of Axl shall begin now.
posted by Busithoth at 2:35 PM on February 23, 2006

Sounds like Buckcherry.


Woah... it's like when you hold two mirrors to face each other then look into it and trip out.
posted by fire&wings at 2:40 PM on February 23, 2006

Silly me, I assumed they were going to be links to Velvet Revolver songs. Imagine my disappointment. On second thought, don't bother imagining my disappointment.
posted by JekPorkins at 2:43 PM on February 23, 2006

no but seriously. fucking horrible.

and I even LIKE the old GnR.

i'm with you there. i was listening to this and i kept thinking surely this not a final take. one of the tracks sounds like he is singing along with himself in the shower.
posted by nola at 2:43 PM on February 23, 2006

Wow, this is so bad it's good!

No, wait; it's just bad. Criminally bad.
posted by jennaratrix at 2:45 PM on February 23, 2006

Maybe these are just demos for the "Alone in the Dark II" soundtrack.
posted by elwoodwiles at 2:50 PM on February 23, 2006

How about we all pretend everything is all right and ignore that such an atrocity exists, and never speak of it again?
posted by chibikeandy at 2:53 PM on February 23, 2006

Why is it that everyone likes every band's early stuff, as in "I really like their early stuff, but the recent stuff is crap." Not that this isn't crap. Maybe I should Ask MeFi.
posted by MarshallPoe at 2:55 PM on February 23, 2006

Wow, you guys are all TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL!

(Jesse Helms, you know that these have been circulating for, I dunno, the last three months or so? If you do a little bit more work, you can turn up the original demos for CD, which are pretty interesting too...)
posted by klangklangston at 2:56 PM on February 23, 2006

What sonofsamiam said....
posted by krix at 2:58 PM on February 23, 2006

Hey, if it makes just one teenage rock band think twice about taking their music in that horrible direction, it's a good thing. Thanks, Axl, for sinking the final nail in the coffin of the hipster hair metal revival.
posted by gigawhat? at 3:04 PM on February 23, 2006

I hate music
Sometimes I don't
I hate music
It's got too many notes

Tommy says so
Tommy says so
Tommy says so
Tommy says so so so so what

*cries*
posted by padraigin at 3:13 PM on February 23, 2006

Whaddaya cryin' about? It's as good lyrically as JAMC's "I Hate Rock 'n' Roll."
posted by klangklangston at 3:19 PM on February 23, 2006

Whaddaya cryin' about? It's as good lyrically as JAMC's "I Hate Rock 'n' Roll."


I was just shedding a tear for Tommy Stinson, who used to be in a good band.
posted by padraigin at 3:23 PM on February 23, 2006

I hereby condemn you to an eternity of getting the guitar solo from November Rain stuck in your head.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 3:30 PM on February 23, 2006

I'm pretty sure Tommy Stinson was so drunk at the time that he doesn't remember actually ever being a 'Mat. Sometimes I wonder, if the non-Westerberg 'Mats hear a Westerberg solo song on the radio, do they realize that it's not one of the songs they used to play live with him? (or are they tipped off by the non-crappy production of his more recent stuff?)
posted by JekPorkins at 3:31 PM on February 23, 2006

There's nothing within those tracks that the Langley School Music Project couldn't fix.
posted by Smart Dalek at 3:37 PM on February 23, 2006

YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE TOKYO? YOU'RE IN THE JUNGLE!

TIME TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
posted by beerbajay at 3:41 PM on February 23, 2006

What XQUZYPHYR said.

And your favorite band sucks.
posted by Cyrano at 4:02 PM on February 23, 2006

Jonmc, this is one music thread I'm dying to hear your input on.

Paging Mr. MC. Mr. Jon MC to aisle 49444.
posted by Evstar at 4:02 PM on February 23, 2006

Maybe if Axl and Sly Stone worked on some kind of musical recluse project together...yeah, that'd rock.
posted by RakDaddy at 4:07 PM on February 23, 2006

GNR = glam hair metal?
Hair: yes.
Metal: pushing it.
Glam: certainly not.
posted by mischief at 4:11 PM on February 23, 2006

Chubby McGoo. I thought Axl acquiring Buckethead to be in G-n-R had been the saddest moment for the band. Then I saw and heard what had become of Axl at the VMAs. Then the rest of the band hooked up with Scott Weiland. Now these songs.

It's gonna bring you down. Huh!
posted by team lowkey at 4:16 PM on February 23, 2006

"...the Guys Who Aren't Slash." That has got to be the greatest summation of anything I have ever heard.
posted by fire&wings at 4:32 PM on February 23, 2006

But they are the authentic hair metal glam band.
Chas my man, I hope that was sarcasm brcause that is the reason everyone hates them. On the other hand the band Big Daddy, who does 80s songs to the tune of 50s hits, did a mashup of Welcome to the Jungle and the Lion Sleeps Tonight, now that is what I call genius.
posted by wheelieman at 4:57 PM on February 23, 2006

Man, that is pretty bad. I just hope it finally gets released so it can be over with and forgotten.
Sad ending to the story for GNR, but Axl reaps what he sows I guess.
posted by a3matrix at 5:03 PM on February 23, 2006

This is proof that God doesn't exist. If he/she did, there is no way in hell he/she would have let Hendrix (and countless others) go and allow fucking axl to live to unleash this kind of horror upon the earth.
posted by snsranch at 5:13 PM on February 23, 2006

This is proof that God doesn't exist.

No, God just has bad taste in music. The songs we were forced to sing in Catholic school confirmed this.
posted by brain_drain at 5:22 PM on February 23, 2006

"Where's Tommy? Someone find Tommy."

-TMBG-
posted by Tomatillo at 5:25 PM on February 23, 2006

Shed tears for Tommy all you want, but if you'd actually purchased a Bash n Pop album like me, we might have prevented this.

/shakes finger at you
posted by bardic at 5:44 PM on February 23, 2006

I not only have the Bash n Pop album, I have Perfect and Village Gorilla Head.

I can't save the world alone, bardic.
posted by padraigin at 5:57 PM on February 23, 2006

That which we call A. Rose by any other name would still sound like two cats fucking in a dumpster.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:32 PM on February 23, 2006

crash, I'd appreciate it if you'd lay off my Indian name.
posted by bardic at 6:35 PM on February 23, 2006 [1 favorite]

Glam: certainly not

Perhaps I'm splitting hairs, but I'd say they were a glam band before labeling them a hair band. GNR was basically an 80's L.A. version of The New York Dolls with a significantly more commercial appeal, fewer dresses, and slicker production. Of course, I'm referring to Appetite for Destruction-era GNR, which is really the only GNR one need listen to. Appetite still sounds great, but I'll still take either Dolls album over it any day.
posted by Kronoss at 7:36 PM on February 23, 2006

Oh, also: I remember Axl saying something like 'Elton John is my classical music'. Good God. History will be kind to Izzy for bailing when he could.
posted by Kronoss at 7:44 PM on February 23, 2006

"there was a time" will be all over classic rock radio when it's released, if they fix the mix ... vocals aren't quite there

that's not the same as saying i like it ... but it's got what it needs to have to be a radio hit
posted by pyramid termite at 8:34 PM on February 23, 2006

That which we call A. Rose by any other name would still sound like two cats fucking in a dumpster.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:32 PM PST on February 23



crash, I'd appreciate it if you'd lay off my Indian name.
posted by bardic at 6:35 PM PST on February 23

ah! beautiful.
posted by bradth27 at 9:37 PM on February 23, 2006

really ouch
posted by pwedza at 9:44 PM on February 23, 2006

Glam: certainly not.

Yeah, I realized after I wrote that that there was another micro-micro-classification of modern music called glam.

I guess they don't really fit that bill -- but in some ways they do.

But I was thinking more along the line of divas -- which is what hair bands were. Divas, that for some reason though it was super macho to dress like drag queens and get drunk and bang chicks, and have a lame attempt as a rock band for the cover.
posted by teece at 10:42 PM on February 23, 2006

" Shed tears for Tommy all you want, but if you'd actually purchased a Bash n Pop album like me, we might have prevented this."

Man, I was too busy trying to support Grant Hart's solo career. I can only take care of one Minnesota has been at a time!

"But I was thinking more along the line of divas -- which is what hair bands were. Divas, that for some reason though it was super macho to dress like drag queens and get drunk and bang chicks, and have a lame attempt as a rock band for the cover."

Yeah, except that's not really what GNR were. That's more of a Whitesnake/Warrant/Ratt/Poison thing, and GNR were always a lot more about dirty blues and hard rock. They really were the successors to the New York Dolls and Johnny Thunders in a way that no other band was, aside from maybe Motley Crüe.
posted by klangklangston at 11:46 PM on February 23, 2006

Metafilter: Howl honk screech yowza I QUIT!
posted by dr_dank at 6:44 AM on February 24, 2006

Eh. Its not as bad as all this catcalling makes it out to be. It ain't great, but its not the end of the world. Its mediocre work.
posted by Atreides at 7:04 AM on February 24, 2006

Actually, Tommy Stinson was last seen playing with Soul Asylum here in Minneapolis. It's a far better place for him and I hope to hell he stays there.

If you take all the best tracks from Use Your Illusion, you can make one awesome CD. But not two.
posted by Ber at 8:42 AM on February 24, 2006

Dude, I don't even want to hear the old Guns N Roses tracks. Ever. Again. Thanks.
posted by Decani at 8:50 AM on February 24, 2006

I saw Guns n' Roses a few years ago and Duck Dunn was playing bass with them.
posted by stevil at 2:15 PM on February 25, 2006