Shave Everywhere!
May 3, 2006 5:19 PM   Subscribe

Nutsack too hairy? Let Philips Electronics help.
posted by jonson (65 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
I can't decide if I'm more amused or deeply fucking disturbed.
posted by Zozo at 5:23 PM on May 3, 2006


What's this about? I'm at work and don't have sound on the comuputer.
posted by nyxxxx at 5:24 PM on May 3, 2006


My mom used to work with a guy who hated body hair for some reason. He would take a couple of hours and he (or his girlfriend) would shave (or wax maybe) every single hair from his armpits to his feet.
posted by daninnj at 5:27 PM on May 3, 2006


Shaved penis.
posted by loquacious at 5:30 PM on May 3, 2006


This was "used" on the Howard Stern show this week.
posted by jca at 5:30 PM on May 3, 2006


For those who have a "chinchilla around your dong" and don't like waxing.
posted by alteredcarbon at 5:30 PM on May 3, 2006


If the concept of wearing a cock and balls like a roman gladiator mask can make it into a major corporation's advertising, there's still hope for America yet.
posted by unsupervised at 5:32 PM on May 3, 2006


it took me a while to accept that this was a real Philips website promoting a real Philips product, but I believe it now - the domain name does indeed belong to Philips (Koninklijke Philips Electronics N.V).

I so want one of these things. I'm sure it works on wives too.
posted by kcds at 5:33 PM on May 3, 2006


WTF? Why would anyone shave a carrot?
posted by loquacious at 5:34 PM on May 3, 2006


Wonderful. I like the eye exam and subsequent explanation.
posted by OverlappingElvis at 5:34 PM on May 3, 2006


Hmmm, I don't see the scissors chasing the kiwi fruit on this version of the site.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 5:36 PM on May 3, 2006


Sidetrack: I always wondered why athletes competing at the highest (world record busting) level wouldn't do more to get rid of dead weight in order to have a competitive advantage.

Body hair doesn't weigh much, but if .001 of a second is the difference between first place and second, it couldn't hurt to ditch your appendix & tonsils.
posted by juv3nal at 5:36 PM on May 3, 2006


is that seth mcfarlane?
posted by keswick at 5:38 PM on May 3, 2006


Maybe you have to shave carrots so they're more easily pear paired with peaches. I also thought that he was going to say "...extra optical inch on my [beep], life is a pretty sweet fruit."
posted by Zack_Replica at 5:40 PM on May 3, 2006


I've tried sending this to my friends at work... they all refuse to click on the link.
posted by gambit at 5:40 PM on May 3, 2006


loquacious: You are the wind beneath my wings.
posted by verb at 5:41 PM on May 3, 2006


Personally, I prefer the print ad.
posted by OhPuhLeez at 5:42 PM on May 3, 2006


verb: And you - my hairy carrot.
posted by loquacious at 5:57 PM on May 3, 2006


My wife likes giving me a trim every now and then, and I really can't complain about the fringe benefits. All I can say is that this shaver looks a lot less scary than her scissors.

I'm not a sasquach, but let's face it... there are some guys (and girls) with "OMG too much" body hair. And if you're like one-in-ten men out there (i.e. gay), chances are you've got a fairly active grooming habit already.

It's not a fashion/advertising issue, really. It's a basic issue of attraction based on symmetry, I suspect. Most historical cultures have traditionally been far more active groomers than ours, so I expect there's something pretty significant going on, even if it's only to distinguish between those who are part of a culture and "the rest of the barbarians" out there.
posted by insomnia_lj at 6:00 PM on May 3, 2006


Oh gee, I hope this isn't a trend. It gets chilly here and I find a hairy barbarian to be quite cozy.
posted by haikuku at 6:11 PM on May 3, 2006


If the concept of wearing a cock and balls like a roman gladiator mask can make it into a major corporation's advertising, there's still hope for America yet.

what he said.
posted by 6am at 6:17 PM on May 3, 2006


And once again we have that post subject and name of poster thing happening. Which is always nice.
posted by tula at 6:26 PM on May 3, 2006


insomnia_lj, I agree, some trimming from time to time isn't a bad thing. But scissors are scary down near your tallywhacker. This is alot less scary.

And I bet it works just fine on women too.

And dogs, for that matter. And cats. But we're not going there. Oh wait.
posted by fenriq at 6:30 PM on May 3, 2006


You're eponysterical, jonson. Eponysterical.
posted by jmhodges at 6:36 PM on May 3, 2006


Keswick: That's what I thought too.
posted by sourwookie at 6:39 PM on May 3, 2006


I'm going to shave off your johnson!

No thanks, the stubble on my face is all the itch I need.
posted by furtive at 6:39 PM on May 3, 2006


"Look--I'm no genius. I'm just a guy who really wants to talk about his cock."

Awesome.
posted by stopgap at 6:42 PM on May 3, 2006


I wish there were a current flash player for Linux.
posted by kenko at 6:47 PM on May 3, 2006


is that seth mcfarlane?

yeah?! is it?!
i checked a couple of good ol' GISs but i can't be sure.
it would surely match the voice in any case.
posted by zenzizi at 6:47 PM on May 3, 2006


Ball stubble is about the last thing I would want. I'd much rather wax (or use tweezers) then use any type of razor
posted by delmoi at 6:53 PM on May 3, 2006


Bizarre. Grandma called? Grandma?
posted by sellout at 6:55 PM on May 3, 2006


delmoi, if I still kept a list "tweezes his ball hair" would totally be on it next to your name.
posted by jonson at 6:58 PM on May 3, 2006


Stupid Flash 8. Sites should not require Flash 8 until Macromedia has a plugin released for Linux, and preferably not until it's available in a Debian repository. GrumbleLazyFlashProgrammersGrumble ....

[Yes, I know about the 8.5 announcement.]
posted by intermod at 7:04 PM on May 3, 2006


is that seth mcfarlane?

nah, right attitude though.
posted by 6am at 7:09 PM on May 3, 2006


juv3nal: athletes shave body hair to reduce drag, not weight.
posted by cardboard at 7:16 PM on May 3, 2006


I... I could not be happier, than I am at this moment. Thank you, jonson! Thank you, Internets!
posted by Dunwitty at 7:24 PM on May 3, 2006


Apparently made by the same ad agency as the new apple ads...
posted by kjell at 7:25 PM on May 3, 2006


I'm going to shave off your johnson!

Ve shave you Lebowski! Vat do you think of zat? Ve SHAVE off your chonson!
posted by theorique at 7:30 PM on May 3, 2006


Side note to all the guys I have ever slept with or felt up or seen naked: Thanks for not shaving your whole body like Philips wants you to. Especially your genitals. That's just gross.
posted by theredpen at 7:34 PM on May 3, 2006


theredpen, you seriously feel that if your men had smooth balls, they would have been MORE gross than hairy balls?
posted by Dunwitty at 7:37 PM on May 3, 2006


Dunwitty, are you seriously asking me to flat out state that I like hairy balls? Heh. I guess it's too late to deny it. Something creeps me out about guys shaving off body hair. Hair is nice and manly. Up to a certain point, I guess ... and beyond that point, nutsack stubble awaits. Ouchie.
posted by theredpen at 7:42 PM on May 3, 2006


Pornstars, rejoice!
posted by DakotaPaul at 7:44 PM on May 3, 2006


This post is spam, if I wanted to watch a commercial I would turn on my tv.
posted by 517 at 7:54 PM on May 3, 2006


I'm shocked nobody has pointed out the true nature of this advertising. I suppose it's obvious, but that's never stopped MeFites before. This is just another example of classic viral advertising and you guys are just eating it up. They're just being edgy because it's the Internet and they can, and they know everyone will love it and send the link to all their friends.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 7:57 PM on May 3, 2006


OMG VIRAL MARKETING ADMINISTRATOR HOPE ME!

That was awesome jonson. Great link.
posted by eyeballkid at 8:02 PM on May 3, 2006


Thanks for reminding me that people on here will bitch about anything, jackass.
posted by puke & cry at 8:12 PM on May 3, 2006 [1 favorite]


I say it is about damn time somebody came up with a more effective way of removing male body hair. Don't get me wrong, I like my men to be hairy - but to a point. The whole male porn star thatch of gonad glory gets sloppy. I find it particularly galling beacause to appease my handsome husband, I reluctantly submit to a 'ahem' full Brazilian on a regular basis. Turn around is fair game, and payback is a bitch. I can't wait to buy one of these puppies and shave my man's manfruit bare. Now, how did that nice young man tell me how to buy it?...
posted by msali at 8:16 PM on May 3, 2006


Ah screw that jazz. I douse my nutsack with burbon, set it on fire and then have my concubine blow on it when all the pubes are burned off.
posted by Skygazer at 8:27 PM on May 3, 2006 [1 favorite]


Concubine Protip for Skygazer: "Blow" really is just a metaphor. I can only imagine that you've wasted a perfectly good concubine training them thusly.
posted by loquacious at 8:46 PM on May 3, 2006


I hope this product works better than the Phillips wet shavers my partner uses. We've gone through 3 of the damn things. When they work, they're fabulous, but the engineering is total crap. Little plastic clips that hold on the head, which break.

I loved the flash ad, but I kept wanting him to open his robe.

Viral marketing? Maybe, but I'm a prospective customer, and hadn't heard of the product, and wouldn't likely have seen an ad for it otherwise (I don't notice most advertising).
posted by Goofyy at 10:12 PM on May 3, 2006


After the checkoutmybreasts.com post, I went into this with a real bad feeling.
posted by evilcolonel at 11:25 PM on May 3, 2006


Skygazer wins an Intarweb.
posted by Parannoyed at 12:47 AM on May 4, 2006


The way I see it, the only problem with this product is that it may be too easy to shave yourself; the fun comes from getting your buddy to help you. Oh yeah.
posted by me & my monkey at 12:53 AM on May 4, 2006


I douse my nutsack with burbon, set it on fire and then have my concubine blow on it when all the pubes are burned off.

I love Bananas Foster!
posted by me & my monkey at 12:54 AM on May 4, 2006


Me and My, I'm not sure that's the problem. I was thinking that even with this wonderful toy, there are a couple of places that I won't be able to reach without help.

Of course, if I already had somebody willing to shave me there, then I wouldn't really need to shave there. So to speak.
posted by Dunwitty at 1:31 AM on May 4, 2006


Balls, the video won't work for me. (But I was treated to a not un-pleasing electronic sound piece consisting of beeps and whispered gasps, so it's not all bad.)
posted by jack_mo at 4:10 AM on May 4, 2006


Awesome. He grabbed himself just as I clicked the tab closed.
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:16 AM on May 4, 2006


Yaaargh, it's driving me nuts!
posted by Skygazer at 7:28 AM on May 4, 2006


Who doesn't enjoy a tanned, athletic penis?
posted by hatchetjack at 7:59 AM on May 4, 2006


The question remains: how often should I shave my nads? Once or twice per day?
posted by Mean Mr. Bucket at 8:24 AM on May 4, 2006


Metafilter: Who doesn't enjoy a tanned, athletic penis?
posted by *burp* at 8:30 AM on May 4, 2006


More anti-furry propaganda. How long must my Yeti brethren and I suffer this anti-body hair dogma?
posted by Smedleyman at 11:39 AM on May 4, 2006


Shaving your [beep, carrot appears] and [beep, kiwis appear] great in theory, but aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh itch.
posted by blacklite at 1:55 PM on May 4, 2006


Oops, I forgot the verb. Insert an 'is' please.
posted by blacklite at 1:55 PM on May 4, 2006


In a world where every man has an extra optical inch

no man has an extra optical inch.
posted by rustyiron at 6:37 PM on May 4, 2006


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