Don't cry for me, I'm already dead

June 23, 2006 2:14 PM

Finally, Hollywood is getting on side in the War On Terror :an anti-suicide bombing commercial is soon to be unleashed on all those jaded Iraqi couch potatoes.
posted by Flashman (30 comments total)

They recently transformed an industrial block in downtown LA into a busy Baghdad square, filled with fruit stands, shoe repair shops and rug dealers. At least 60 extras dressed in hijabs, kaffiyehs and polyester-wool blend slacks were herded onto the set to simulate an average shopping day. . . . . Onlookers were later asked to stand back as the pyrotechnic crew blew up a poor old Yugo coupe and stunt men and women, padded under their Arab garb, were thrust into the air with ropes and pulleys to simulate the impact of a bomb exploding.

Trey Parker and Matt Stone are already filing suit for copyright infringement. (Derka, derka, derka!)
posted by La Cieca at 2:25 PM on June 23, 2006

posted by Mr. Six at 2:29 PM on June 23, 2006

It's good to see some fresh ideas being brought to the table.

Maybe what they really need is a talk show, where Shiites and Sunnis can hash out their differences on camera. I hear Geraldo likes to go over there.
posted by mkultra at 2:34 PM on June 23, 2006

I hear Geraldo likes to go over there.

Now that there's some TV I would watch: Shiite-Sunni cage deathmatch. With firearms and Geraldo. "Three will enter, only two will leave. Who will be first to destroy the sleazebag with the mustache?"
posted by spacewrench at 2:42 PM on June 23, 2006

I'd pay money to watch that. But I have this terrible fear that Geraldo would emerge triumphant at the end, with the fearsome Sunni and Shiite warriors holding back tears and wondering what just happened.
posted by languagehat at 2:46 PM on June 23, 2006

Teenage Martyrdom: Don't Do It.
posted by bardic at 2:57 PM on June 23, 2006

Geraldo says "I've seen a hell of a lot more combat than John Kerry." A few highlights.
posted by kirkaracha at 3:06 PM on June 23, 2006

So is this basically the US admitting that they can't control the insurgents? It seems like on the administration's list of ways to deal with suicide bombers that trying to reason with them would be the very last one.
posted by saraswati at 3:12 PM on June 23, 2006

So is this basically the US admitting that they can't control the insurgents?

Actually, it's all of Baghdad throwing a ginormous turd into the punch-bowl that is the Iraqi occupation.
posted by bardic at 3:21 PM on June 23, 2006

if only they had electricity they could totally watch this. unhelpful Iraqians.
posted by matteo at 3:25 PM on June 23, 2006

'Just Say "No, I Won't Blow Myself Up"'

I'd wear that shirt. Unironically.
posted by brundlefly at 3:27 PM on June 23, 2006

Not to undermine the occupier's message, but only pussies back out from suicide bombing. Are you a pussy?

Well?

And don't do drugs.
posted by rks404 at 3:28 PM on June 23, 2006

posted by Mr. Six at 3:33 PM on June 23, 2006

Despite all the secrecy surrounding the project, NEWSWEEK has learned that the high-tech PSA will cost over $1 million to make and may even air in other Middle Eastern countries. This pricey and unorthodox attempt to subdue the violence is backed by a group of mystery donors. "I call them an independent, non-governmental group of scholars, non political people," says Plotkin. "Some may live in Iraq, some may live abroad. For a variety of different reasons—from safety concerns to wanting the focus to remain on the issue itself, they decided to remain anonymous."

Hold it.

What's up with that? Why is it legal for anonymous groups to have such wide reach into our media? Ignoring the glaring cultural issues, what of the legal ones? For instance, if the FCC wished to fine those financing this advertisement, who would it fine? Would that, too, be a classified matter of national security?

God, this is so incredibly annoying.
posted by odinsdream at 3:34 PM on June 23, 2006

What Would Rumsfeld Do?

To the XTREME!
posted by bardic at 3:34 PM on June 23, 2006

Something tells me this ad won't hit the target audience they think it will. But hey, you know what might be effective... an ad on Fox News depicting an American soldier torturing an Iraqi prisoner.
posted by Bugg at 3:39 PM on June 23, 2006

Does
Anyone
Really
Expect
To Keep Kids From Blowingthemselvestobits!
posted by hangashore at 3:42 PM on June 23, 2006

Where is the "Committee to Liberate Iran Iraq Mystery Donors Petrodollars" when you need it?
posted by Mr. Six at 3:42 PM on June 23, 2006

What's up with that? Why is it legal for anonymous groups to have such wide reach into our media? Ignoring the glaring cultural issues, what of the legal ones? For instance, if the FCC wished to fine those financing this advertisement, who would it fine? Would that, too, be a classified matter of national security?

Presumably, they're buying ad time. If I wanted to buy ad time, and I wanted to run an ad that didn't fall into the category of political advertising, why shouldn't I be allowed to be anonymous? Why would the FCC need to fine me - if they objected to the ad, they could fine the station running it, which could in turn file a civil suit against me if they haven't indemnified themselves first? From the article, there's no obvious "classified matter of national security" - it's just a Lebanese film company with anonymous donors.
posted by me & my monkey at 3:43 PM on June 23, 2006

link?
posted by thirteenkiller at 3:45 PM on June 23, 2006

I really wish the mystery donors would be discovered. I think you'd all find that they are not who you think they are. This ad seems a bit touchy feely to me.
posted by tomplus2 at 3:46 PM on June 23, 2006

I've heard some Afghani suicide bombers are already questioning the credentials and swiftboating the Iraqi ones. It's nasty stuff.
posted by bardic at 3:49 PM on June 23, 2006

THis would be funny if it weren't so tragic.
posted by cell divide at 4:29 PM on June 23, 2006

And how about a commercial to let people understand that receiving an American Blessed Bomb on the head is A Blessing From God ? and if your all family is killed it's not a problem they'll all go to Paradise ?

Fuck this makes me more and more angry
posted by zouhair at 5:30 PM on June 23, 2006

"See. Ahmed? I told you it was cool! Just like that infidel movie, The Matrix. You'll go in a blaze of glory, full 3D with infidels blown away all around you. Gee (or the equivalent in farsi) I was worried, Uncle Sahid warned me about pain and blood but that's not what I see".

Hollywood-style is NOT the right style to portrait real-life effects of a sucide bomb, a carcrash, a shot in the chest or come on, even sex.

Let movies be movies, don't pretend they portrait reality better than reality.
posted by cardoso at 6:15 PM on June 23, 2006 [1 favorite]

Big time stupid. Wow.
posted by Smedleyman at 11:40 PM on June 23, 2006

Kids, don't become suicide bombers. You could get hurt.
posted by telstar at 2:09 PM on June 24, 2006

see... now if they blew up a kid... had his limbs fly off visibly, and blood spatter the TV camera... i would say its more of a detriment... but they alread know this. its what they want... ugh.
posted by Doorstop at 2:19 PM on June 24, 2006

This will almost certainly work because Iraqis have no idea what the effects of a suicide bomb looks like. I'm sure a Hollywood-produced commercial will bring it home for them, right into their air-conditioned living rooms on their big-screen, high-definition televisions.

Or, as they say in sitcom land: "It's so crazy, it just might work!"
posted by moonbiter at 4:44 AM on June 25, 2006

"Just Say No To Semtex!"

If anyone can talk with experience about a series of useless bombs, it's Hollywood.
posted by FormlessOne at 6:43 PM on June 25, 2006