"I apologize for nothing!"
June 25, 2006 2:51 PM   Subscribe

Inspired by the deep fried bacon double Quarter Pounder? Behold the deep fried brat in all its monounsaturated glory.
posted by Galvatron (50 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
Can't move . . . arteries clogging . . .
posted by galimatias at 2:54 PM on June 25, 2006


urp.
posted by nickyskye at 2:55 PM on June 25, 2006




26,000 in 18 days blazecock.
posted by rollbiz at 3:01 PM on June 25, 2006


I was thinking that I could make mad bank with a booth at the State Fair that sold deep fried White Castles.

This is Missouri. I'm sure the line would be a mile long.
posted by sourwookie at 3:03 PM on June 25, 2006


I got that beat. Behold, the Krispy Kreme bacon cheeseburger. The decline and fall of an empire in only one thousand calories.
posted by CunningLinguist at 3:12 PM on June 25, 2006


If the Krispy Kreme burger were itself battered and fried, only then would it be a contender.
posted by Galvatron at 3:24 PM on June 25, 2006


But it already *is* fried batter.
posted by CunningLinguist at 3:25 PM on June 25, 2006


Yeah, but I can clearly see the bacon and burger in the photos; there's no crisp outer shell. Weak, I tell you.
posted by Galvatron at 3:29 PM on June 25, 2006


A side order of Poutine would make this meal especially heinous.
posted by disgruntled at 3:43 PM on June 25, 2006


I present to you: The Luther.

See, youtube is good for some things.
posted by Eideteker at 3:44 PM on June 25, 2006


Somewhat despite myself - mmmmmm. That looks guuud.

Of course, I also think Scotch eggs are the best thing going.
posted by kalimac at 3:44 PM on June 25, 2006


Where the hell is jonmc?
posted by languagehat at 3:50 PM on June 25, 2006


Ah, these are all missing the point of the matter: MEAT. MORE MEAT. Are you cow enough? (Well, really the second line says "Enough BEEF for you?" but you could also translate it the other way.)
posted by koreth at 3:55 PM on June 25, 2006


He's off making Devo references in coal threads.
posted by Eideteker at 3:55 PM on June 25, 2006


Meh. It'll never replace the deep fried macaroni and cheese pie.
posted by scruss at 3:58 PM on June 25, 2006


So what's that batter made of? It looks ... yellow.
posted by sacre_bleu at 4:09 PM on June 25, 2006


Deep-fried lard would be nice, maybe with a sprinkle of icing sugar and cinammon.
posted by Meatbomb at 4:11 PM on June 25, 2006


meh. Unless it's covered in rich creamery butter, I'm not interested.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:14 PM on June 25, 2006


White Castle Casserole? It's WC burgers, covered in beef chili, EZ-Cheez, and jalapenos, then baked and served. Mmmm.

Or, you could just go with a Monster Thickburger. It's actually healthier to wrap some bacon around a stick of butter and eat that.
posted by galimatias at 4:16 PM on June 25, 2006


"I had some brats that I was going to broil up in my oven. "

WTF?
posted by sharksandwich at 4:19 PM on June 25, 2006 [1 favorite]


Where the hell is jonmc?

toweling off.
posted by jonmc at 4:26 PM on June 25, 2006


Reminds me of the Taco Town skit.
posted by dobbs at 4:42 PM on June 25, 2006


You can only eat so many alfalfa sprouts and wheatgrass juice before you crave something with a little heft.
posted by digaman at 4:47 PM on June 25, 2006


Apparently the R&B/urban legend concerning Luther Vandross' actual invention of the Luther burger came first. Then the restaurant version. Then the recent Boondocks episode.
posted by First Post at 5:13 PM on June 25, 2006


No burger would be complete without pickles. (Looks like Maury has landed on his feet after getting axed by MSNBC...)
posted by emelenjr at 5:21 PM on June 25, 2006


Been there, done that, made apple brat patties and corn brats, too.
posted by eamondaly at 5:31 PM on June 25, 2006


WTF?

Brats, cut in half lengthwise and broiled in the oven, maybe glazed with a little something, are great.
posted by solid-one-love at 5:34 PM on June 25, 2006


So who else skipped the 'b' when reading 'deep fried brats'?
posted by Serial Killer Slumber Party at 6:01 PM on June 25, 2006


Not only would I eat it, I would put some hot mustard or wasabi on it too.
posted by snsranch at 6:06 PM on June 25, 2006


Nothin' more than a Supersized Hot Dog on a Stick... big whoop...

...you do know that the show the Maury clip came from has been Povich's day job for years, don't you?

...and Hardee's Monster Thickburger is beat by its West Coast sister chain Carls Jr's Double Six Dollar Burger by ten calories (1420 vs 1410), with six less grams of fat, 15 more of carbs, more cholesterol and you haven't even added the bacon yet.

However, my favorite fast food suicide is via Del Taco, whose Macho Beef Burrito comes in at 1170 calories and where you can get a side of Deluxe Chili Cheese Fries at 710 calories. And their spokesman is the same actor who plays Kenny, the gay copy store guy on "My Name Is Earl". And Del Tacos (or, as you may call 'em DTs) are only here on the Left Side of the country. (And I recently moved to where the nearest Del Taco is 30 miles away - I'm doing something right.
posted by wendell at 6:12 PM on June 25, 2006


Or, you could just go with a Monster Thickburger. It's actually healthier to wrap some bacon around a stick of butter and eat that.

This sounds like pure hyperbole but it is very close to being a factual statement.

One stick of butter contains 800 Kcal. but is mostly fat; containing 92g of fat of which 58g are saturated. The bacon (assuming 5 relatively thin slices, cooked) would contain ~250 Kcal. along with 15g of fat / 5g saturated. Combine the two and you're looking at 1050 Kcal. with 107g fat and 63g saturated fats. The "Monster Thickburger" contains 1410 Kcal. along with 107g of fat, of which 45g are saturated fats. Wow, the stick of bacon'd butter actually has fewer calories and the same amount of fat. Sadly, our buttery concoction beats the "hamburger" on saturated fat content; containing 315% of the RDA values for a 2000 Kcal. diet. The hamburger contains only 225% of your recommended daily allowance of saturated fats. So, while this sandwich-type product has more calories than a stick of butter wrapped in bacon, the porkbutter has an extra day's worth of saturated fat without the protein, fiber or carbohydrates. Not nearly the difference you'd expect between a horrific hypothetical snack and a widely advertised, commercially available, ready-to-eat food product.
posted by iloveit at 6:46 PM on June 25, 2006 [4 favorites]


Metafilter: not nearly the difference you'd expect between a horrific hypothetical snack and a widely advertised, commercially available, ready-to-eat food product.
posted by Richard Daly at 6:54 PM on June 25, 2006


Wendell, until recently one of the high points of my annual trip to St. Simon's Island was a visit to the Del Taco there; there used to be a number in my hometown but they vanished or were taken over by that upstart Taco Bell. I was surprised to learn when visiting the corporate site you linked to that that location is not only the only one in GA, but the only one east of the Mississippi!

For those who want to feel (marginally) better about their fried foods, there is always deep fried corn on the cob. I have done this and it is really good, especially done with the freshest, sweetes corn you can find. I also cook it less than this recipes specifies.
posted by TedW at 7:16 PM on June 25, 2006


That's all well and good, iloveit, but if you were really committed, you'd batter and deep-fry that sucker.
posted by brain cloud at 7:17 PM on June 25, 2006


that upstart Taco Bell

Taco Bell is a form of self-abuse. Seriously, Mexican Pizza? I'm surprised Mormons haven't started picketing over that one.
posted by trondant at 7:36 PM on June 25, 2006




Deep fried brats? How utterly fucking girly!

Real men chow down on deep fried pizza.
posted by jason's_planet at 8:33 PM on June 25, 2006


I've just been surfing wikipedia all night long under their "American Quisine" category... I'm trying to lose weight and find decent foods... So I ran across a lot of interesting, new (to me) shit. This is absurd! I loved that Taco Town clip, jesus christ, it's so true.

I was just talking to my partner how I wondered what a deep-fried oreo would taste like.
posted by symbioid at 9:44 PM on June 25, 2006


And oh... growing up I used to make chili cheese dogs with mashed potatos on top of the dog, before the chili. That shit rocked!

And when it comes to sandwiches/sloppy joes, I just HAVE to have chips crushed on them. I love the crunchy textury in my sandwiches... :)
posted by symbioid at 9:45 PM on June 25, 2006


I saw a deep fried oreo at a local street fair here in NYC the other week, but went for the funnel cake instead. Old habits die hard. They were selling like, erm, hotcakes, though.

And godDAMN, iloveit, how is it possible that that burger has the same amount of fat as a stick of butter? It must be freakin huge! I wonder if they would sell more or less monster thickburgers if they advertised it as "the same as a bacon-wrapped stick of butter."
posted by CunningLinguist at 3:43 AM on June 26, 2006


I'll stick with my Quadruple C (Collosal Colon Clogger Combo) from Dangerous Dan's: 24oz burger served with a quarter pound of cheese, a quarter pound of bacon, and 2 fried eggs. Also comes with a large shake (flavor of your choice) and a small poutine. Royale Option: comes with a deep-fried Mars Bar with whipped cream for dessert. Now That's Good Eatin'!
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 6:56 AM on June 26, 2006


Real men chow down on deep fried pizza.

You're right - living in Scotland, these deep fryings seem awfully mimsy.

The strange thing about a deep fried pizza is that it is utterly, utterly delicious. When I lived around the corner from the King's chippie off Sauchiehall Street, I would have one once a week with five fritters (which are mashed potato deep fried in batter). I expect my first heart attack within ten years.
posted by jack_mo at 9:34 AM on June 26, 2006


Oh, and I almost forgot the Stonner Kebab: sausage, wrapped in donner kebab meat, battered and deep fried. It weighs 3lbs, comes with chips.
posted by jack_mo at 9:39 AM on June 26, 2006 [2 favorites]



Oh, and I almost forgot the Stonner Kebab: sausage, wrapped in donner kebab meat, battered and deep fried. It weighs 3lbs, comes with chips.

Damn. I could feel my cholesterol levels jump just looking at that thing.
posted by jason's_planet at 10:25 AM on June 26, 2006


I think I remember reading that a large poutine could have 500 grams of fat. That makes the stonner kabob little more than an appetizer.

I believe that poutine serves as a replacement for the old time standard Canadian hunter's winter meal of a fatty pig's leg and foot.
posted by StickyCarpet at 11:02 AM on June 26, 2006


I think I'm going to throw up.
posted by cellphone at 4:46 PM on June 26, 2006


Gah. People really eat these?
posted by routergirl at 12:06 AM on June 27, 2006


People can eat them because the usual 'I've eaten too much' warnings aren't associated with lard, salt and sugar.
posted by asok at 4:37 AM on June 27, 2006


I think I remember reading that a large poutine could have 500 grams of fat. That makes the stonner kabob little more than an appetizer.

I really have to try poutine. In fact, I should probably set up a poutine shack in Glasgow on a Saturday night with a sign saying 'Will kill you faster than Scottish food!' on it. Would make millions.
posted by jack_mo at 4:53 AM on June 27, 2006


Can't believe nobody's brought up the deep fried Mars Bar.

I know I have.
posted by flabdablet at 11:35 AM on June 27, 2006


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