I could do wonderful, wonderful things for you.

July 18, 2006 11:07 PM

Cat massages dog.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium (48 comments total)

"Viewed: 335,805 times"

And still no happy finish.
posted by turducken at 11:12 PM on July 18, 2006

It's sad, because that puppy is dead
posted by nanojath at 11:16 PM on July 18, 2006

That cat just wants some lovin'.

As do I.
posted by jeff-o-matic at 11:18 PM on July 18, 2006

weird; I couldn't get it to play in my browser (kooky IE-skin called Maxthon).
posted by jonson at 11:19 PM on July 18, 2006

Well, look how it's dressed...

YouTube, for those who don't have Flash 8 or higher.

I love cat massages.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:19 PM on July 18, 2006

I see you going for the callback, Alvy, but this cat's smooth. He's even making eye contact.
posted by maryh at 11:30 PM on July 18, 2006 [1 favorite]

I specifically requested a full-service Siamese with "release".
posted by loquacious at 11:34 PM on July 18, 2006

Oh man, def best of the web. I miss my kitty.
posted by mce at 11:44 PM on July 18, 2006

I used to be, you know, eight years old or whatever and sit around laughing at the stupid things Bob Saget would say to various videos.

Now, I am watching the same thing, although I am 22 and it's 1 am and instead of Bob, it's some mysterious guy on the internet with an awesome accent. And it turns out I actually found it quite funny.

The internet has democratized everything.
posted by blacklite at 12:09 AM on July 19, 2006

I seriously think the amount of overtime I am working lately is rotting my brain. I just watched it again.

"Uhh, well, I'm a puppy, you know, I don't get out too much..."
posted by blacklite at 12:23 AM on July 19, 2006

I find this clip very hard to accept at face value. I mean ... Lawrence Welk doing voiceovers?!
posted by rob511 at 12:24 AM on July 19, 2006

That was stupid.
posted by zardoz at 12:26 AM on July 19, 2006

I want a kitty. I miss the kneading, though not when they forget their claws.
posted by jb at 12:40 AM on July 19, 2006

Following that link crashes Firefox (1.5.0.4) every time for me. Anyone else?
posted by DakotaPaul at 12:57 AM on July 19, 2006

(On Mac OS 10.4.7)
posted by DakotaPaul at 12:58 AM on July 19, 2006

It's sad, because that puppy is dead

Hmm, it's not moving. I can see a cat doing that to try to 'check' to see if there was something wrong with the dog. Freaky.
posted by delmoi at 1:02 AM on July 19, 2006

30 seconds after the end of this video that cat nurses that poor puppy into a dessicated husk.
posted by loquacious at 1:07 AM on July 19, 2006

Thanks for the YouTube link, Alvy Ampersand. Yeah, Safari and Firefox just couldn't cope. Wonderful clip.
posted by persona non grata at 1:44 AM on July 19, 2006

A challenging mix of eroticism and cuteness.
posted by econous at 2:27 AM on July 19, 2006

yes, crashes firefox every time.
posted by timory at 2:32 AM on July 19, 2006

The puppy is definitely dead.

It works for me in Firefox, you guys just aren't very good at the internet.
posted by wigu at 2:37 AM on July 19, 2006

crashes safari, too! i will never be able to see the cuteness.
posted by timory at 2:43 AM on July 19, 2006

DakotaPaul's and persona non grata's tubes are the wrong shape. Maybe they should hire a truck?
posted by Tzarius at 2:56 AM on July 19, 2006

Didn't work in Opera.

And yes, i'm with the dead puppy folks.
posted by a. at 3:21 AM on July 19, 2006

That pup is either diggin the kitty love or it's dead. If it's diggin the kitty love then it's one of the cutest things I've seen. If it's dead then I'm gutted. Please pup, don't be dead!
posted by twistedonion at 3:33 AM on July 19, 2006

It's not checking if the dog is dead, it's just kneading the softest thing in the room. Poor dead dog.
posted by rxrfrx at 3:42 AM on July 19, 2006

Is this the clip of Bush massaging the German Chancellor Angela Merkel?
posted by kika at 3:44 AM on July 19, 2006

How can I fit them BOTH in my scanner?
posted by moonbird at 4:14 AM on July 19, 2006

Does not crash Safari or Firefox over here.

Does not sound like Lawrence Welk, either. Billy Crystal's "You rook mahvelous" guy, yes.
posted by emelenjr at 4:30 AM on July 19, 2006

Newest version of the Firefox working fine here, as well.

I figured what the video was in advance from the title, yet I clicked anyway. Argh.
posted by Atreides at 4:36 AM on July 19, 2006

Good to see the links from that daily Yahoo Infomercial are making their way onto Metafilter, and that they only lead us by a week or so.
posted by crunchland at 6:18 AM on July 19, 2006

I'd like to see a squid massaging an octopus.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 6:40 AM on July 19, 2006

that daily Yahoo Infomercial

heh, "go below me and find something fantastic"
posted by mr.marx at 7:31 AM on July 19, 2006

How about a squid massaging a whale?


posted by hermitosis at 7:39 AM on July 19, 2006

That squid is not massaging the whale. Its performing its symbiotic relationship with the whale by cleaning its teeth of the remains of one legged men.
posted by Atreides at 8:01 AM on July 19, 2006 [1 favorite]

Cat looks for teat.
posted by interrobang at 10:49 AM on July 19, 2006

Is this the clip of Bush massaging the German Chancellor Angela Merkel?

No, it's more like the official statement on the "furry community" about the incident. Plushophiles have no comment.
posted by jonp72 at 11:30 AM on July 19, 2006

cute clip, nice to see the innocence of other species...
posted by beachgrrlmusic at 12:33 PM on July 19, 2006

I thought it said cat massacres dog. I was expecting so much more.
posted by longbaugh at 12:39 PM on July 19, 2006

The dog isn't dead. He's too squishy to be dead. Also, I've seen my cat do this to my dog. The dog just lays there...I believe she may be thinking of England.
posted by dejah420 at 12:50 PM on July 19, 2006 [1 favorite]

Yeah, the open vacant glassy eyes and the puddle of piss is missing from the "dead puppy" hypothesis.

I also don't find this to be that unusual. One of the big evolutionary adaptations of domestication is tolerance of other species as part of your extended social unit (pack, pride, herd, etc., etc..) Cats and dogs raised together do this quite frequently.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 1:12 PM on July 19, 2006

Yup, I'm with Kirk. My cat does this to the dog all the time. He was abandoned at 2 wks old, bottle-fed and has always thought of her as his "mommy," so it's not surprising. He also used to suck on our (human) ears before he was fully weaned.

Cats are awesome.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 2:59 PM on July 19, 2006

The puppy is probably asleep. Pups sleep very soundly at that age.
posted by Zinger at 5:47 PM on July 19, 2006

man, how weird is it that the first thing some of you guys thought was that the dog was dead?
posted by jimmy at 7:50 PM on July 19, 2006

yeah, i agree with jimmy. i thought it was cute, now you people are creeping me out.
posted by xmutex at 8:06 PM on July 19, 2006

xmutex seems tense, someone give him a massage.
posted by homunculus at 9:19 PM on July 19, 2006

I thought the dead puppy people were just trying to be funny. er.
posted by Atreides at 4:53 AM on July 20, 2006

Patient puppy... Not dead puppy. No farms here, uh huh.. Nope, no gravy train seen, no cookie trails, nope, not at all. Living, patient puppy. Yup... Gotta be...
posted by pezdacanuck at 9:36 AM on July 20, 2006