How Stores are Secretly Using Barry Manilow to Rob You
July 21, 2006 5:43 PM   Subscribe

Stores are Secretly Using Barry Manilow to Rob You and you will discover just how -- and many other sneaky little tactics they use -- in this amusing and informative piece by a well-known marketing insider.
posted by youlikeme (55 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: idonotlikeyou



 
Maybe not so much in Sydney, Australia.
posted by ericb at 6:04 PM on July 21, 2006


This is why I always take my iPod when I go grocery shopping.
posted by wanderingmind at 6:10 PM on July 21, 2006


I thought everyone knew this stuff. I've been hearing about it since before I was a teenager.
posted by jacalata at 6:38 PM on July 21, 2006


Should we allow a user with the name of youlikeme (which, if taken apart carefully and examined REALLY says "you like me", a message that was meant to change our opinion of said user without our even knowing it!!!!) post a link to an article about subliminal and deceptive marketing.. Hmmm... I think not!

Beware!!!
posted by HuronBob at 6:40 PM on July 21, 2006


The warning not to try samples is a bit naive. If you can avoid buying what's being offered, it's an excellent way to snack (some would even say dine) for free.
posted by QuietDesperation at 6:44 PM on July 21, 2006


What surprises me, actually, is when they get it so wrong. Like the music in Fred Meyers being incessant interrupted by ads read by a women with an unimaginably horrible grating voice that just makes me want to run out of the store (or turn up the volume, as above :), or a Walmart with employee to employee communications going over the PR that opened in a window into the misery of the people working there, making the whole place seem creepy and nasty.
Or pointless bag searches, telling customers that they're assumed to be criminals, without significantly reducing shoplifting.

Give me Barry Manilow instead any day :)
posted by -harlequin- at 6:47 PM on July 21, 2006


I like shopping and buying things.
posted by thirteenkiller at 6:50 PM on July 21, 2006


...if you typically shop with your guard down, in a passive mood or a mood to be entertained, plan on amassing a bunch of stuff you don't need. Plan on going deep into debt like the typical American and getting angry and screwing up your relationships and health because of the debt and wondering how it all ever could have happened.

Woah, dude.
posted by dirigibleman at 6:52 PM on July 21, 2006


I don't go into stores that play background music, because their prices are higher, if they are paying ASCAP/BMI licensing fees or royalties for Muzak, and if they're not, they're ripping off musicians. If I happened to be in a store, and suddenly heard a Barry Manilow recording any way, or worse, Barry Manilow in person, I'd grit my teeth, leave immediately without buying anything, and make a point of never going back to such an awful place.
posted by paulsc at 6:53 PM on July 21, 2006


I look Barry Manilow in the eye as I slowly back away, all the time screaming "I am NOT a hamster!"

Got it.
posted by hal9k at 7:11 PM on July 21, 2006


Life is pain. Anyone who tells you different is selling something.
posted by Smedleyman at 7:31 PM on July 21, 2006


Anything with a toothpick in it is free to eat.
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:36 PM on July 21, 2006


Life is pain. Anyone who tells you different is selling something.

As usual Smedleyman is right on the money. Life is pain, and I've got just the thing for all you sufferers out there...

Quantities are limited, so order now!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:43 PM on July 21, 2006


Quantities are limited, so order now!

Only if it's as seen on TV.
posted by thomas j wise at 7:52 PM on July 21, 2006


Nothing particularly new in this column, IMHO.

One thing he may have understated is the smell thing. He mentioned new-car-smell sprays & supermarkets placing bakeries near the front, but there was no mention of shops that use bottled aromatherapy-type smells. For example, there is a chain of chocolate shops here that uses vapourised liquorice smells to entice customers off the street, and I recall hearing that Subway uses a bottled version of the baking smell. Some retail fashion chains apparently also have their signature fragrances, which are supposed to make people feel comfy, at home, and in the mood for spending.
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:11 PM on July 21, 2006


I recently went into a Target that has just opened. While I tried on some clothes I heard this automated voice say over and over and over "Assistance in the *blank* aisle, 1 minute to repond" "Assistance in the *blank* aisle, 30 seconds left, who is responding""Assistance in the *blank" aisle, time is up. Who is reponding" who is responding whoisrespondingwhoisrespondingGAAAAAAAH! I wanted to hold the hand of the nearest worker and tell them to kill that bitch before I did.
posted by Foam Pants at 8:16 PM on July 21, 2006


Anything with a toothpick in it is free to eat

posted by sergeant sandwich at 8:17 PM on July 21, 2006


Whoa. Thanks for posting that article. I would never be able to shop intelligently without all that obvious common sense laid out in one article.
posted by Doohickie at 8:25 PM on July 21, 2006


in this amusing and informative piece

It was neither.
posted by Doohickie at 8:26 PM on July 21, 2006


I usually shop with my own music to hand. There is one particular electrical store - which is the only one close by unfortunately - which just plays it's stupid annoying jingle over and over again. I don't think many people linger there to browse.

Christmas time is the worst. Cheesy Christmas songs every time you just pop in for a carton of milk. Gyah.
posted by gomichild at 8:40 PM on July 21, 2006


The article was lame. It actually read like the author was selling something.
posted by jayder at 8:45 PM on July 21, 2006


Is this something I'd have to have no fucking self-control whatsoever to understand?
posted by Zozo at 9:29 PM on July 21, 2006 [1 favorite]


They forgot one key point: be broke all the time. When all you can afford is Top Ramen and a can of generic soda, the smells & pretty colors can try all they want and won't get another dime.

Our local Safeway has the bakery in the back corner of the store. The deli is right up front. Probably because they get a decent lunch crowd that comes in and buys sandwich meals and leaves.
posted by drstein at 9:41 PM on July 21, 2006


Anything with a toothpick in it is free to eat.

*pokes Astro Zombie with a toothpick*
posted by spiderwire at 9:49 PM on July 21, 2006


Life is pain. Anyone who tells you different is selling something.

oh, my Westley!

if shoppers are lab rats in a commercial maze (diggin' the B-'low), I'm the scientist taking notes. a surprising number of them take shits in odd corners, none of them know where they're going, and all they want is some cultural cheese.

a God's eye view of the store would be better than N-DS.
posted by carsonb at 10:13 PM on July 21, 2006


Incredibly lame article. Not a single statistic in the whole thing. The author repeatedly claims that frightening research has been done into how to use things like color and music to increase sales, without saying what the fucking research found. In addition, he uses the font tag.
posted by gsteff at 10:14 PM on July 21, 2006


Hey, lay off the author! I loved his Is Jennifer Aniston Secretly Pregnant with Tom Cruise's Baby? column.
posted by carsonb at 10:28 PM on July 21, 2006


Hmmm...some of his other columns

Check Out All the Violence Here! ... How I Jolt You into Submission to Get Your Money

Why We're Living (FAR) Shorter Lives Than Ever, and What You Can Do About It

The One REAL Reason You Are Stressed Out, Sick, Depressed or Angry

Let's see, how to make jaring, exploitative headlines to make people read them.

To be honest, part of that is because he is a former marketer, and one of the articles is about using jaring headlines to get your attention. Maybe part of the hyperbole is that of the former addict. No one hates alcohol more than the recovered drunk.
posted by zabuni at 11:00 PM on July 21, 2006


seriously, this is an interesting link. marketing happens--tricks, techniques, efforts are made to make people purchase, read, follow, etc. but when you point them out explicitly they seem ridiculous on the face. one thinks they are obviously avoidable, that they have no power over the observer. fuck the intention of this guy's villains---they're marketing techniques in the same way using common sense is a marketing technique.

frank, I agree with this guy: it is best to be always up in arms over common sense. I AM NOT A HAMSTER. I will raise my imaginary shield. I will forever wear my tinfoil hat.
posted by carsonb at 11:35 PM on July 21, 2006


Truistic, condescending, practical.
posted by squirrel at 12:13 AM on July 22, 2006


I remember reading Douglas Rushkoff's Coercion, and then getting freaked out a week later when I looked in my shopping basket and realized all the products I had selected were red.

I don't really think this article was good enough to inspire that same sort of consumer hamster paranoia, thogh.
posted by redsparkler at 12:31 AM on July 22, 2006


He did mention about the size of shopping carts though. I don't know if this is a nationwide thing or not, but the Walmart near me doesn't have hand baskets any more. The annoying thing is, I usually only go there to get a few small items, say, claritin, a spatula, some thread, bananas, toilet-bowl cleaner, envelopes-- not enough to justify the effort of pushing around a huge truck and battling the other mechanized traffic in the store, but too much to conveniently and easily carry in my hands. I have taken to making my first stop in the store the tupperware storage aisle, where I grab a hand-basket-sized container, use that for my shopping, and then dump it unceremoniously at the check-out aisle. If they're gonna make it inconvenient for me by not offering me an appropriately-sized vessel for my shopping, then I'm gonna make it inconvenient for them by having to reshelve the junk I leave behind.
posted by Hal Mumkin at 1:45 AM on July 22, 2006 [1 favorite]


Don't try samples. In fact, abstain from interacting with products in any way, unless it was a product on your list. We all know where supposedly innocent tasting and touching can really lead ...

Yeah, I discovered some REALLY good Camembert cheese last month from tasting a sample, and I bought some, and my parents and I enjoyed it a lot. The horror, the horror.
posted by Bugbread at 5:11 AM on July 22, 2006


bugbread, I hate to be the one to break it to you but usually that kind of 'supposedly innocent tasting and touching' leads to SEX. You may have been ripped off there.
posted by jacalata at 5:48 AM on July 22, 2006


That's actually how they make Camembert. With sex.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 5:59 AM on July 22, 2006 [1 favorite]


The stuff in this article is true, but its hardly groundbreaking news. I remember reading about most of it in The Hidden Persuaders when I was 14.
posted by Afroblanco at 7:07 AM on July 22, 2006


Shop for groceries online, make a list and stick to it. It's not that hard, the only shitty thing about it is when they deliver fruit/veg they will always choose the stuff that goes off the day after they deliver it to you because the people who pick your shopping are unadulterated bastards.

Also, dear pickers/packers - STOP SUBSTITUTING MY PRODUCTS. If I wanted something specific don't replace it with two entirely unrelated objects that sound/look familiar, you're fooling nobody. If I want portobello mushrooms then by god you should learn what they look like.
posted by longbaugh at 7:55 AM on July 22, 2006


What if they don't know what portobello mushrooms look like?
posted by salmacis at 8:07 AM on July 22, 2006


salmacis writes "What if they don't know what portobello mushrooms look like?"

Then they have the wrong jobs and resources.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 8:21 AM on July 22, 2006


PinkStainlessTail : "That's actually how they make Camembert. With sex."

I feel much less comfortable with that white creamy stuff that covers the top of the Camembert, now.

longbaugh : "Shop for groceries online, make a list and stick to it."

This is just something I can't seem to grok. If I only buy what's on a shopping list, I'm never going to find new good stuff. I'm not going to find the good Camembert. I'm not going to discover that my supermarket has started stocking decent pepperoni (hard to come by in Japan). I'm not going to find out that I like sweisswurst better than bratwurst. Basically, I'm going to spend my entire life eating only the same ingredients and products that I did at 18. What's so great about that? What is so bad about trying new things?

And why is it that everyone is treating this like some zero-sum game, where a win by the supermarket indicates a loss by myself? I go to the supermarket with the goal of getting food items and giving the supermarket an amount of money that both they and I think is fair for those items. The supermarket sells me things with the goal of getting as much of my money as they can. If they position something just right on the shelf, and it catches my eye, and I look at the price, and the price is the same or less than the amount of utility or enjoyment I will get out of the product, I'll buy it. So I win, and the store wins.

Now, deceptive packaging? That's bad. Deceptive advertising? That's also bad. But "making you hungry so you'll buy more"? That's just the supermarket wasting time. If, during a typical week, I go grocery shopping on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, but one Monday I shop hungry, that just means I'm going to buy enough food that I skip Wednesday, and just go on Friday. So the supermarket just spent a bunch of money to insure that I buy the exact same total amount of food in a total of two trips instead of three.

(Apropos of nothing: Great thing about living in a country with minimal English levels is the choice of music in stores. Shopping in a average, ordinary supermarket while hip-hop with lyrics like "motherfucker fucks with me I'm gonna put a cap in his motherfuckin ass" plays over the store speakers is a surrealness that I'll never get tired of.)
posted by Bugbread at 8:29 AM on July 22, 2006 [2 favorites]


salmacis: What if they don't know what portobello mushrooms look like?

Well then, the youth of amerika should simply read this thread and find out.
posted by UKnowForKids at 8:38 AM on July 22, 2006


Rest in peace, Mihail.
posted by cortex at 9:25 AM on July 22, 2006


What I don't understand is:

a) What's Barry Manilow got to do with it anyway?
b) What makes the author of this piece any better?

Columnist Brian W. Vaszily (pronounced "vay zlee'), located in aisle 9 next to the cheese, is the author of several books including the acclaimed novella Beyond Stone and Steel and co-author of the bestselling Dr. Mercola's Total Health Program. He is President of TopMarketingPro, a "conscientious marketing" consultancy, and has over fourteen years of marketing and management experience in Fortune 500 and

posted by jamespake at 9:54 AM on July 22, 2006


> The author repeatedly claims that frightening research has been done into how to use
> things like color and music to increase sales, without saying what the fucking research found.

I actually think this article is selling marketing, in the guise of a warning PSA. Hire us! We're witch doctors wizards! We can put your sales through the roof! Don't ask for statistics.
posted by jfuller at 10:45 AM on July 22, 2006


"Assistance in the *blank* aisle, 1 minute to repond" "Assistance in the *blank* aisle, 30 seconds left, who is responding""Assistance in the *blank" aisle, time is up. Who is reponding"

The first time I saw this happen in Target, I was afraid that once the countdown reached zero, all the employees would get a shock.
posted by MrBadExample at 11:22 AM on July 22, 2006


The first time I saw this happen in Target, I was afraid that once the countdown reached zero, all the employees would get a shock.

The first time I saw that, I was partway through Half-Life 2 and the walkie-talkie voices made me think of Combine soldiers.

And then I started imagining all the fun I could have at Target with a gravity gun...
posted by Foosnark at 2:52 PM on July 22, 2006


Yeah, the article's a bit week, but ylm's lede was pretty decent.
posted by baylink at 3:17 PM on July 22, 2006


BustedFilter: or it would have been if it hadn't been the original article's deckhead.

{ slinks quietlyback to AskMe }
posted by baylink at 3:18 PM on July 22, 2006


Yeah, all this stuff is terribly, boringly obvious. I was hoping for something actually new and interesting, because it is a fascinating subject.
Then again, I like the "I am not a hamster" mantra.
posted by CunningLinguist at 3:56 PM on July 22, 2006


this thread is dangerous and should be removed immediately.
posted by quonsar at 3:57 PM on July 22, 2006


Agreed -- this is rather boring stuff.

More interesting: Stores are Secretly Using You to Rob Barry Manilow
posted by dreamsign at 12:51 AM on July 23, 2006


More information on this can be found by googling terms like 'consumer psychology' or 'science of shopping' (the name of a widely-referenced book). A couple of interesting websites I found are Architectural tricks and The application of traditional store design to online shopping.
posted by jacalata at 2:15 AM on July 23, 2006



Most interestingest: Barry Manilow is Secretly Using You to Rob Stores
posted by Meatbomb at 7:59 AM on July 23, 2006


Some retail fashion chains apparently also have their signature fragrances, which are supposed to make people feel comfy, at home, and in the mood for spending. -- UbuRoivas

Yeah, except have you ever smelled Victoria's Secret? Good god, that store is gag inducing. Great bras, but I buy online, I can't go near their retail store.

And not all retailers use the power of sniffing for evil. I recently designed an aromatherapy blend for a retailer that was designed to uplift and energize the people in the room. The essential oil blend was designed primarily to be a benefit to the store owner and her employees. That there is a possible secondary effect in which customers will feel so good going into the store that they'll want to give her more money, or return again...well, that's certainly a bonus, although unproven theory at this point.

Recently both the grocery stores in our little burb were redesigned, and everything moved all around. (Gods, I hate that...just when you figure out where stuff is, they move it.) I noticed that because we had to walk around all the aisle to find everything, and because of the placement of things like bakery, deli, and endcap samples, we ended up spending about 40% more in groceries, and bought way more crap than we did before. Now we've mapped the store in our minds, so it's easier to stick to the list, and get in and out with what we need. I expect that they'll redesign the store again soon.
posted by dejah420 at 10:16 AM on July 23, 2006


I enjoy grocery shopping. I like wandering through stores deciding what I want to buy, looking at different things, trying things. If, at the end of that period, I've bought a couple of items more than I would have if I'd come in with a list, I'm not really going to worry about it all that much.
posted by jacquilynne at 10:48 AM on July 23, 2006


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