It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was on vacation.

August 3, 2006 12:33 PM

She was attracting the lesbian vampires, but she's back in the saddle again. Still, she can't churn the butter today because Communists have invaded the summer house Aunt Flo is visiting. And Flo can't go swimming because of the crimson tide .
posted by ?! (33 comments total)

For those who like their links simple: Menstruation.
posted by ?! at 12:34 PM on August 3, 2006

Awesome, thanks.

I like the circa 1885 booklet that tells us that women who are addicted to masturbation are more prone to suffering miscarriages.
posted by raedyn at 12:41 PM on August 3, 2006

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. Over.

I don't know which bothers me more, the topic, or the fact that the poster is male.
posted by Gamblor at 12:41 PM on August 3, 2006

Thank you for adding to my list of amusing euphemisms.
posted by luftmensch at 12:41 PM on August 3, 2006

.
posted by Gamblor at 12:44 PM on August 3, 2006 [1 favorite]

Is the "Communists" link supposed to go to the Mayo Clinic?
posted by KirkJobSluder at 12:45 PM on August 3, 2006

Bloody mahvelous!
posted by mischief at 12:49 PM on August 3, 2006

Maybe I'm alone, but the 2nd link (lesbian vampires, which is a new one for me!) wasn't working...
posted by tentacle at 1:01 PM on August 3, 2006

You're a woman now! - Wonder Showzen.
posted by geoff. at 1:03 PM on August 3, 2006

I'm a little disappointed that the second link in no way actually talks about lesbian vampires, or even mentions lesbians, or vampires, or any combination thereof.

Otherwise, good post.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 1:12 PM on August 3, 2006

You know, raedyn, I originally read that as "...who are addicted to menstruation..." and was trying to figure out how exactly one can be addicted that way.
posted by Karmakaze at 1:18 PM on August 3, 2006

Molly Grows Up (1953), parts 1 and 2.
posted by pracowity at 1:28 PM on August 3, 2006

Falling off the roof is my fave! There was a video, a sort of '60s style educational vid if I recall correctly, that was making its way around the intarwebs a few years back that was full of these menstral euphemisms.
posted by shoepal at 1:28 PM on August 3, 2006

prescient, pracowity. I wish those were the dubbed versions I remember.
posted by shoepal at 1:31 PM on August 3, 2006

Christ almighty, now my cycle is syncronized with mefi's. Maybe I am here too much.
posted by thekilgore at 1:32 PM on August 3, 2006

Joakim Ziegler: I'm a little disappointed that the second link in no way actually talks about lesbian vampires...

De nada, amigo.
posted by Gamblor at 1:40 PM on August 3, 2006

I remember my Mom talking to me about menstration trying to be positive about it when I was a kid. But I can't say as I've ever got excited about it. Even at the time that it was new to me.

Abstractly I think of periods as positive. It's something that bonds women across time and culture. It can bring your awareness into your body and its rhythms. In a sanitized world removed from nature and natural cycles, it's a grounding connective sort of experience. But the way it is so rudely thrust upon me: it's a hassle that complicates my life, occassionally wrecks my clothes and often hurts. At the time that I'm pouring out blood and I'm tired and I hurt and it's a mess and my breast are tender and all I want to do is sleep for a while, it doesn't feel like anything to celebrate.
posted by raedyn at 1:42 PM on August 3, 2006

Maybe you're square dancing immoderately.
posted by pracowity at 1:44 PM on August 3, 2006

I'm insane. They were mp3, not video. (damn toxoplasts!)

The Bran Flakes - Record on Sex - go up go up

Found this too! (mp3)

Menstrual songs
posted by shoepal at 1:48 PM on August 3, 2006

Menstruation might cause part of the gap between men's and women's earnings! But there's hope: the Liberation may come.
posted by amber_dale at 1:54 PM on August 3, 2006

All right, what is this "men's truation"? And why are so many women going on and on about it?
posted by scratch at 1:55 PM on August 3, 2006

P.S. I was so hoping that the Museum of Menstruation would be located in Tampax, Florida.
posted by scratch at 1:58 PM on August 3, 2006

I have a good attitude toward menstruation.
posted by jrossi4r at 2:25 PM on August 3, 2006

I have a good attitude towards menstruation. (youtube)
posted by skullbee at 2:25 PM on August 3, 2006

A great fable on thh politics of menstruation, Connie Willis' short story: Even the Queen. (One reviewer refers to it taking place in a "post-menstrual" society)
posted by AuntLisa at 2:28 PM on August 3, 2006

I prefer the Onion's classic euphemism "Walking on the beach in soft focus".
posted by MikeMc at 2:53 PM on August 3, 2006

Does no-one in the US have the painters in during rag week? An ex of mine was less circumlocutory, and just called it 'the curse'.
posted by athenian at 3:31 PM on August 3, 2006

?!, Surprised to see a menstuation post here and glad too. For me it also was "the curse" and "period", both odd terms now I think about it.

Thanks for your post raedyn.
posted by nickyskye at 4:29 PM on August 3, 2006

Area Seventh-Grader Now a Woman.

Also, get your lesbian vampire fix here. As in "first-ever lesbian (and, I suppose, first-ever vampire) Playboy Playmate."
posted by anjamu at 5:13 PM on August 3, 2006

my boyfriend is fond of the euphemism "Shark Week".
posted by makonan at 7:24 AM on August 4, 2006 [1 favorite]

quoting Jello Biafra from LARD's "The Last Temptation of Reid" album:

"Steven Tyler, of all people, once said: 'If men bled, would tampons be free?'"

</gender politics>

heh: "Shark week"...that's funny.
ah, yeah...
posted by I, Credulous at 11:38 AM on August 4, 2006

On that line of thought, I, Credulous, is the taxing of Aussie tampons as a luxury item. The campain linked is an old one, but sadly it seems everyone has given up getting the gst off tampons, and I couldn't find anything more recent.

As for euphemisms, occasionally I'm "having hormones", but mostly I just tell the bf that I'm bleeding. I don't see much point in beating about the bush (ha!) in regards to something so intimate and so long-lasting.

BTW, why do men avoid sex while their lady is bleeding? I understand it can be messy, but given the male fixation with anal sex I don't buy that as an exuse.
posted by Jilder at 1:06 AM on August 5, 2006

The idea that men avoid sex might have thrown off a lot of people who could have answered, but I'll try...

In the days when "sex education" was taught in schools, and films starring Sonny and Cher were shown in Health class, we were taught it wasn't healthy (read "safe") for the woman.
posted by ?! at 12:32 PM on August 17, 2006