Donuts - is there anything they can't do?

January 26, 2007 9:49 AM

After this there isn't really much else for science to accomplish.
posted by jimmythefish (27 comments total)

Will there be caffeinated jelly donuts filled with caffeinated jelly?
posted by boo_radley at 9:56 AM on January 26, 2007

Be prepared the singularity is coming in the next ten minutes!
posted by darkripper at 9:57 AM on January 26, 2007

They make you poo.
posted by recurve at 10:03 AM on January 26, 2007

They should find a way to infuse a doughnut with cyanide and make it taste good, for those who want to get right to the point and skip all those years of doughnut-induced health decline.
posted by gurple at 10:03 AM on January 26, 2007

"It was so bitter it made me pucker up bad. I thought, 'No wonder they don't make it,'" he told the Herald Sun.

Most people would stop at that point...
posted by InfidelZombie at 10:06 AM on January 26, 2007

"O wonder!
How many goodly creatures are there here!
How beautious mankind is!
O brave new world,
That has such people in't!"
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:10 AM on January 26, 2007

It would be fun to secretly switch these in on your standard little-old-lady sewing circle.
posted by hermitosis at 10:11 AM on January 26, 2007

Most people would stop at that point...

There's the spirit that won the war!
posted by jimmythefish at 10:12 AM on January 26, 2007

I'll take a bag of those with a cup of decaf.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:27 AM on January 26, 2007

Hold the coffee: scientist puts caffeine in doughnuts

But... what do I dunk them in?

:bursts into tears:
posted by fleetmouse at 10:30 AM on January 26, 2007

dunk them in a jelly donut
posted by subtle_squid at 10:31 AM on January 26, 2007

Where does this move the Rapture Index?
posted by OmieWise at 10:42 AM on January 26, 2007

SCIENCE DONUTS!


They should find a way to infuse a doughnut with cyanide and make it taste good, for those who want to get right to the point and skip all those years of doughnut-induced health decline.

Balderdash and poppycock.

Getting there is all the fun.
posted by loquacious at 10:55 AM on January 26, 2007

I won't be satisfied till I can breath caffienated air all day at the office.
posted by Parannoyed at 11:21 AM on January 26, 2007

i'll take mine with a triple shot espresso, and a line of coke.
posted by nola at 11:26 AM on January 26, 2007

Would you like nicotine fries with that?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:33 AM on January 26, 2007

Huh, what's so special about a caffeinated doughnut?

Caffeinated soap.
posted by porpoise at 11:40 AM on January 26, 2007

Call me when they combine sex and a boston creme.
posted by hal9k at 11:57 AM on January 26, 2007

I thought caffeine was much more efficacious when the delivery system is hot, like coffee? Anecdotally, I would agree.
posted by mrgrimm at 12:28 PM on January 26, 2007

hal9k, are you just waiting for someone to tell you about Boston cremepies? Because they're pretty gross, with all that thick white oop oozing out.

I think I've skeeved myself out. But with that setup--! Anyway, SCIENCE!, in the form of careful experimentation, tells me that Boston cremes are really good.
posted by booksandlibretti at 12:59 PM on January 26, 2007

But... what do I dunk them in?

Decaf, naturally.
posted by textilephile at 1:43 PM on January 26, 2007

Can they make them carb, fat, & sugar free, filled with caffeine, and ALSO magically delicious? 'Cuz until they get that nailed I think they should keep trying.
posted by miss lynnster at 2:05 PM on January 26, 2007

This is great, now that I can get my caffiene fix without dunking my donuts in my coffee, I can now dunk them in heroin.
posted by davelog at 2:07 PM on January 26, 2007

Oh man I loved that ThinkGeek caffeinated soap. Got it from a girlfriend as a gift years back. Minty fresh! Took me a while to realize that that the caffeine was actually being inhaled rather than absorbed through the skin (apparently the molecules are too big to be absorbed that way). I typically take really fast showers so I had to learn to relax and soak it up. Did give a decent buzz after a long shower.

Wouldnt go near a doughnut, never mind one with caffeine in it.
posted by elendil71 at 4:36 PM on January 26, 2007

Science can get to fuck until I get me a futuristic hover-style jetpack, a transporter, a robot and a warp drive. And a holodeck. And a replicator.
posted by bonaldi at 4:47 PM on January 26, 2007

coffee has bioflavanoids and other antioxidants, no fat, no carbs...science is failing me here.
posted by owhydididoit at 5:05 PM on January 26, 2007

scientist puts caffeine in doughnuts

I love you so much.
posted by dirigibleman at 1:39 AM on January 27, 2007