Airbag to the nuts
July 6, 2007 11:00 PM Subscribe
I so, so want to go back in time and poll these people. "What do you really think will happen?" I honestly want to know what their expectations were.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:11 PM on July 6, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:11 PM on July 6, 2007 [1 favorite]
um. gosh. i can feel my IQ dropping just from having watched that. but thanks, now i know.
posted by lonefrontranger at 11:12 PM on July 6, 2007
posted by lonefrontranger at 11:12 PM on July 6, 2007
I would imagine you'd risk spinal compression or fracture. Think about how quickly an airbag has to deploy in order to be effective during an accident.
posted by secret about box at 11:17 PM on July 6, 2007
posted by secret about box at 11:17 PM on July 6, 2007
I think people expect that they're going to fly up into the air, Wile E. Coyote style.
Of course, they don't bother to think about the actual physics involved in launching themselves off the ground like that -- of the energy or the acceleration involved, and in how fast an air bag deploys. It's not like a trampoline; it's more like a paddling: not too much mass, but a lot of velocity.
posted by Kadin2048 at 11:22 PM on July 6, 2007
Of course, they don't bother to think about the actual physics involved in launching themselves off the ground like that -- of the energy or the acceleration involved, and in how fast an air bag deploys. It's not like a trampoline; it's more like a paddling: not too much mass, but a lot of velocity.
posted by Kadin2048 at 11:22 PM on July 6, 2007
It's really hard to pick which is my favorite. The last one is too long, and suffers from the usual YouTube reality video problem of no editing, yet even despite being the weakest launch technically to boot it is redeemed by the long pan of everyone in the group losing their shit over their friend writhing in the dirt. The first one has the best "blast off" quality launch plus the super slo-mo, although it also suffers from too much set-up. But the middle one, wow, that is like a classic slapstick assault on the nards. All first rate.
posted by nanojath at 11:29 PM on July 6, 2007
posted by nanojath at 11:29 PM on July 6, 2007
Oh, I know that, puke & cry, and I NEVER drunk drive with my butt anymore.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:32 PM on July 6, 2007
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:32 PM on July 6, 2007
Eponysterical?
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 11:39 PM on July 6, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 11:39 PM on July 6, 2007 [1 favorite]
sterilized, hoping.
posted by longsleeves at 12:01 AM on July 7, 2007
posted by longsleeves at 12:01 AM on July 7, 2007
Is this flagpole sitting for the myspace generation?
posted by bunnytricks at 12:08 AM on July 7, 2007
posted by bunnytricks at 12:08 AM on July 7, 2007
man thank god for them videos i wuz totally just gonna do that.
posted by facetious at 1:37 AM on July 7, 2007
posted by facetious at 1:37 AM on July 7, 2007
nanojath writes 'It's really hard to pick which is my favorite.'
Gotta be the first, because of the way that his body flies up, but his baseball cap flies even higher. A pure Wile E. Coyote moment.
And why did none of these people pay any attention to protecting their genitals? Even if I were dumb enough to do such a thing, which I'm not, but say the life of my loved ones depended on it, at the very least I'd want some armour plating protecting the family jewels.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:01 AM on July 7, 2007
Gotta be the first, because of the way that his body flies up, but his baseball cap flies even higher. A pure Wile E. Coyote moment.
And why did none of these people pay any attention to protecting their genitals? Even if I were dumb enough to do such a thing, which I'm not, but say the life of my loved ones depended on it, at the very least I'd want some armour plating protecting the family jewels.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:01 AM on July 7, 2007
Jackass's influence on America's morons is the best thing to happen to our long-term genetic viability since the opposable thumb.
posted by Riki tiki at 2:14 AM on July 7, 2007 [15 favorites]
posted by Riki tiki at 2:14 AM on July 7, 2007 [15 favorites]
The fact that multiple people separately thought of doing this makes me... uh...
Wow. I don't know how that makes me feel.
posted by brundlefly at 2:15 AM on July 7, 2007
Wow. I don't know how that makes me feel.
posted by brundlefly at 2:15 AM on July 7, 2007
Gentlemen, the prognosis for the human race isn't good. We should start formulating an alternative plan.
posted by humblepigeon at 2:52 AM on July 7, 2007
posted by humblepigeon at 2:52 AM on July 7, 2007
I think we found Bush's "core".
posted by Optamystic at 4:47 AM on July 7, 2007
posted by Optamystic at 4:47 AM on July 7, 2007
In a fast german car - I'm amazed that I survived.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:27 AM on July 7, 2007
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:27 AM on July 7, 2007
middle video is the funniest, if only because he's pretty much perfectly positioned to maximize the impact to his nads, and nothing else really happens.
but the slow mo w/sound in the first one made me giggle.
the jolt on the spine from that explosion can't be good to feel.
I keep thinking about this pothole by the navy yard I hit on my bike. ouch.
the best part is I can't call them stupid, because I don't even know how they set the damned things off. that takes a little bit of knowledge...
posted by Busithoth at 6:36 AM on July 7, 2007
but the slow mo w/sound in the first one made me giggle.
the jolt on the spine from that explosion can't be good to feel.
I keep thinking about this pothole by the navy yard I hit on my bike. ouch.
the best part is I can't call them stupid, because I don't even know how they set the damned things off. that takes a little bit of knowledge...
posted by Busithoth at 6:36 AM on July 7, 2007
In the first video, you would think that they would at least try it on the grass, no more more than 10 feet away! That would make for a softer landing if there was any propulsion. Why wouldn't they think to go to the grass? Oh. Ya. Never mind.
posted by The Deej at 7:10 AM on July 7, 2007
posted by The Deej at 7:10 AM on July 7, 2007
it's a good thing we have youtube to show off crappy home videos of people doing jackass style stunts. i guess i know what mtv does with all those tapes they get.
posted by lester at 7:10 AM on July 7, 2007
posted by lester at 7:10 AM on July 7, 2007
LOL AIRBAGZ!!!
posted by miss lynnster at 7:37 AM on July 7, 2007
posted by miss lynnster at 7:37 AM on July 7, 2007
The wages of dodging natural selectionJuly 6, 2037 11:00 PM
Remember laughing at footage of Darwin Award competitors way back when? In recent years, their stupidity has come back to bite them in the ass...as well as other parts of the body. Ex-Jackass-wannabe support groups flourish as the long-term effects of their stunts have surfaced - most commonly as chronic back pain, brain damage, and a collection of genital complaints too numerous to list here.
Luckily, medical science has risen (or is that sunk?) to the occasion. But there is dissent! Some doctors have banded together to demand that conditions resulting from idiotic stunts be paid for out of the patient's own pocket, rather than government coffers. One doctor has gone further, conducting illegal YouTube background checks and blackmailing patients into paying extra for old self-inflicted injuries.
posted by schadenfreude pie (234 comments total) [add to favorites] [transmit to flying car] [!]
posted by Drop Daedalus at 8:40 AM on July 7, 2007 [4 favorites]
Remember laughing at footage of Darwin Award competitors way back when? In recent years, their stupidity has come back to bite them in the ass...as well as other parts of the body. Ex-Jackass-wannabe support groups flourish as the long-term effects of their stunts have surfaced - most commonly as chronic back pain, brain damage, and a collection of genital complaints too numerous to list here.
Luckily, medical science has risen (or is that sunk?) to the occasion. But there is dissent! Some doctors have banded together to demand that conditions resulting from idiotic stunts be paid for out of the patient's own pocket, rather than government coffers. One doctor has gone further, conducting illegal YouTube background checks and blackmailing patients into paying extra for old self-inflicted injuries.
posted by schadenfreude pie (234 comments total) [add to favorites] [transmit to flying car] [!]
posted by Drop Daedalus at 8:40 AM on July 7, 2007 [4 favorites]
and naturally, the fake MeFi format that looked fine in the preview box doesn't come out in the post. *sigh*
posted by Drop Daedalus at 8:45 AM on July 7, 2007
posted by Drop Daedalus at 8:45 AM on July 7, 2007
Okay, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that MetaFilter appears to slowly be turning into Fark.
posted by rolypolyman at 9:46 AM on July 7, 2007
posted by rolypolyman at 9:46 AM on July 7, 2007
Okay, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that MetaFilter appears to slowly be turning into Fark.
posted by rolypolyman
There. Fixed that for you.
(The very act of which proves your point.)
posted by The Deej at 9:59 AM on July 7, 2007
posted by rolypolyman
There. Fixed that for you.
(The very act of which proves your point.)
posted by The Deej at 9:59 AM on July 7, 2007
Wait, if a bean bag chair is comfortable, and air is softer than beans, well then...
posted by StickyCarpet at 10:25 AM on July 7, 2007
posted by StickyCarpet at 10:25 AM on July 7, 2007
The slow-mo in the first one made it appear as if a giant muffin had jumped out of the ground and yelled "surprise."
And so help me, I laughed and laughed on the first one.
By video three, I was over it. In fact, now all airbag explosions to the ass are now old hat to me. Thanks, Internet.
posted by davejay at 10:55 AM on July 7, 2007
And so help me, I laughed and laughed on the first one.
By video three, I was over it. In fact, now all airbag explosions to the ass are now old hat to me. Thanks, Internet.
posted by davejay at 10:55 AM on July 7, 2007
Us white people sure are dumb.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 11:29 AM on July 7, 2007
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 11:29 AM on July 7, 2007
Us white people sure are dumb.
posted by Uther Bentrazor
You mean I'm gonna stay this color?!
posted by The Deej at 11:34 AM on July 7, 2007
posted by Uther Bentrazor
You mean I'm gonna stay this color?!
posted by The Deej at 11:34 AM on July 7, 2007
the best part is I can't call them stupid, because I don't even know how they set the damned things off. that takes a little bit of knowledge...
No, it's just two wires touched to a 12v battery. One is red, one is black and that should be easy enough for my 10 year old to figure out. I have a spare airbag sitting in the closet, this reminded me that I need to work up an evil and/or entertaining purpose for it soon.
posted by IronLizard at 1:08 PM on July 7, 2007
No, it's just two wires touched to a 12v battery. One is red, one is black and that should be easy enough for my 10 year old to figure out. I have a spare airbag sitting in the closet, this reminded me that I need to work up an evil and/or entertaining purpose for it soon.
posted by IronLizard at 1:08 PM on July 7, 2007
Best thing is that the doofus in the middle video didn't merely take an airbag to his genes, he took the semi-hard cover to 'em as well.
This sort of behaviour should be encouraged.
posted by five fresh fish at 2:16 PM on July 7, 2007
This sort of behaviour should be encouraged.
posted by five fresh fish at 2:16 PM on July 7, 2007
What's great about the middle one is that he is wearing protective gloves. Was he anticipating moving fast enough upward that feared abrading them on the ceiling or something?
The real upside here is that will all the different kinds of Jackass-ary that kids are involving themselves in, stunts like this directly reduce the likelihood of their reproducing.
posted by quin at 3:24 PM on July 7, 2007
The real upside here is that will all the different kinds of Jackass-ary that kids are involving themselves in, stunts like this directly reduce the likelihood of their reproducing.
posted by quin at 3:24 PM on July 7, 2007
IronLizard : this reminded me that I need to work up an evil and/or entertaining purpose for it soon.
I'm thinking: mountain bike meets wooden ramp with airbag under it.
Just when you hit the apex of the ramp, someone fires the airbag giving you extra lift.
It will be beyond awesome. And if you decide to do it, please, please, please film it and put it on youtube.
posted by quin at 3:27 PM on July 7, 2007 [1 favorite]
I'm thinking: mountain bike meets wooden ramp with airbag under it.
Just when you hit the apex of the ramp, someone fires the airbag giving you extra lift.
It will be beyond awesome. And if you decide to do it, please, please, please film it and put it on youtube.
posted by quin at 3:27 PM on July 7, 2007 [1 favorite]
Do it on an enduro motorcycle! Do it geek-style, hit it at a set speed and use a trigger device to deply it at the perfect moment.
posted by five fresh fish at 3:35 PM on July 7, 2007
posted by five fresh fish at 3:35 PM on July 7, 2007
That's almost as stupid as sitting on it. Can you imagine how that bicycle seat is going to feel when it's wedged halfway up your ass? It's also very close to the nuts there. Hmmm, I wonder who I can convince ...
posted by IronLizard at 3:43 PM on July 7, 2007
posted by IronLizard at 3:43 PM on July 7, 2007
If the boost happened after the front wheel left the ramp, it would cause the bike to spin into a front-flip. That'd be mighty impressive. First front 720, anyone?
posted by five fresh fish at 4:31 PM on July 7, 2007
posted by five fresh fish at 4:31 PM on July 7, 2007
Ah well as in you'll have to go to Reno and take care of it yourself now?
posted by IronLizard at 8:52 PM on July 7, 2007
posted by IronLizard at 8:52 PM on July 7, 2007
Wait! WAIT... I have the greatest idea guys. Okay.. guys. We have to buy some claymore mines...
posted by tehloki at 2:13 AM on July 8, 2007
posted by tehloki at 2:13 AM on July 8, 2007
Hey, yeah! And I have a wall you can throw them against!
posted by five fresh fish at 9:37 AM on July 8, 2007
posted by five fresh fish at 9:37 AM on July 8, 2007
I'm glad to see that despite the relative unavailability of big, old-school firecrackers in most of the U.S., that people are still finding ways to neuter themselves.
It's things like this that give me hope.
posted by Kadin2048 at 11:12 AM on July 8, 2007
It's things like this that give me hope.
posted by Kadin2048 at 11:12 AM on July 8, 2007
Yep, you just can't keep a good moron down.
Though the airbags do manage it for an impressive length of time.
posted by IronLizard at 3:39 PM on July 8, 2007
Though the airbags do manage it for an impressive length of time.
posted by IronLizard at 3:39 PM on July 8, 2007
When I was a kid we used to stick firecrackers into big turds (dog, horse, cow), light them and run.
Sometimes the wicks were too short.
It didn't hurt though.
posted by davy at 9:02 PM on July 8, 2007
Sometimes the wicks were too short.
It didn't hurt though.
posted by davy at 9:02 PM on July 8, 2007
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