Use the force!
May 5, 2009 2:45 PM   Subscribe

What Star Wars Teaches Conservatives (via io9)
posted by Artw (24 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: Without the Star Wars, this is just crappy poli-editorial writing, and there's not much Star Wars there. -- cortex



 
Why do you do this?
posted by The Whelk at 2:46 PM on May 5, 2009


i'm hugging this post, in my mind.
posted by facetious at 2:48 PM on May 5, 2009


If you put 'Star Wars' in the headline of your article, you should mention the damn thing more than once in the opening graph and once in the closing graph.
posted by shakespeherian at 2:48 PM on May 5, 2009


Arlene Specter?
posted by interrobang at 2:50 PM on May 5, 2009 [1 favorite]


How to turn a Republic into an Empire?
posted by Bromius at 2:50 PM on May 5, 2009 [1 favorite]


by adhering to their principals ... According to Nielson.com

Reminds me of the anti-lunix stance of adequacy.org.
posted by Monday, stony Monday at 2:51 PM on May 5, 2009


If the Republican party wants to survive it must continue to repent its sins against the conservative principals which should always define it

talk about authoritarianism

dreck, pure dreck. I can only take this crap filtered through tbogg, alicub, sadly no, etc.
posted by mrt at 2:52 PM on May 5, 2009


I am reminded of the classic battle in the movie “Star Wars” where the small force of the Rebel Alliance is attacking the much larger and stronger fleet of the Empire. They know that to win there is only one strategy, they must focus their attack on a specific area of vulnerability on the otherwise impenetrable Death Star. In the end, victory was achieved by “staying on target.”

It's been a while, but didn't the guy saying "Stay on target" end up exploding?
posted by brundlefly at 2:53 PM on May 5, 2009 [4 favorites]


D. Cheney: I don't like you either. You just watch yourself. We're wanted men. I have the death sentence on twelve systems.
posted by joe lisboa at 2:53 PM on May 5, 2009


Cheney shot first.
posted by hifiparasol at 2:54 PM on May 5, 2009 [3 favorites]


The rebel alliance totally missed out not having a special secret twitter hash, and on calling people abscesses.
posted by Artw at 2:55 PM on May 5, 2009


Horribly written on every level. It's not even coherent.
posted by GuyZero at 2:55 PM on May 5, 2009


Why do so many of the paragraphs have no commas? I suspect this article may have been composed entirely on Twitter.
posted by Combustible Edison Lighthouse at 2:56 PM on May 5, 2009


Is it proofreading? Because if not, I think they need to find something that would teach proofreading. "Principals". Twice. Among many other crimes against language.
posted by Infinite Jest at 2:56 PM on May 5, 2009


(deep breathing)

"Luke, I am your campaign manager. Switch parties and flip the Senate and together we'll keep the Bush tax cuts, forever."
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:56 PM on May 5, 2009


Lo! A paradisiacal, if paradoxical, allegorization of aleatory midichlorians!
posted by xod at 2:57 PM on May 5, 2009


*waves hand*
These aren't the torture memos you're looking for.
posted by rocket88 at 2:57 PM on May 5, 2009


Boy, that writing is just awful.
posted by mr_roboto at 2:58 PM on May 5, 2009


My advice to the Republican party is simple, believe in the “force” (your conservative principles).

So Obama (Darth Vader, the black guy) is an evil conservative? I'm confused by this conceit.
posted by shakespeherian at 2:58 PM on May 5, 2009


Oh please. The GOP built the friggin' Empire. (or at least tried to)


From the linked article:
The recent departure of Arlene Specter can be likened to the lancing of an abscess to remove the nidus of infection which is necessary for a body to be healed.
I think that any snark added at this point would take away from the perfect inanity of that sentence. I will however ponder out loud what Arlene thinks of all this.
posted by Artful Codger at 2:59 PM on May 5, 2009


What's a nubian?
posted by Artw at 2:59 PM on May 5, 2009


Well, Star Wars did teach me that people who live in deserts are detestable savages who should either be bargained with for resources, or killed outright. So that's a start.
posted by hifiparasol at 3:03 PM on May 5, 2009


Here's something for the conservative Star Wars fan to consider: The Empire is depicted as using torture. That's how you can tell they're evil.
posted by vibrotronica at 3:03 PM on May 5, 2009 [2 favorites]


Floating security cameras with syringes and glowing sunbeds are actually just enhanced interrogation, not torture.
posted by Artw at 3:05 PM on May 5, 2009


« Older Reprimands for torture   |   A Most Disgusting Song Newer »


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