Fucking
July 10, 2001 6:59 PM Subscribe
The site seems to be fucked at the moment. Is that what the fuckers who were fucking with StoryFuck fucking intended?
posted by davehat at 7:22 PM on July 10, 2001
posted by davehat at 7:22 PM on July 10, 2001
dchase: read the link. While the same site, this is a totally different subject.
And a very interesting one. I'm loathe to say anything until hearing how Lance feels. In my universe, avoiding rubbing salt in a wound is more important than dissecting a fascinating bit of mindfuck.
posted by frykitty at 7:33 PM on July 10, 2001
And a very interesting one. I'm loathe to say anything until hearing how Lance feels. In my universe, avoiding rubbing salt in a wound is more important than dissecting a fascinating bit of mindfuck.
posted by frykitty at 7:33 PM on July 10, 2001
um, dchase, this is not a double post.
fraying is making specific reference to an element within storyfuck. you'l notice that at no time deas fraying say "hey look! there's this site called storyfuck!"
get over your bad self.
posted by o2b at 7:34 PM on July 10, 2001
fraying is making specific reference to an element within storyfuck. you'l notice that at no time deas fraying say "hey look! there's this site called storyfuck!"
get over your bad self.
posted by o2b at 7:34 PM on July 10, 2001
dhcase: though I can't actually check out frayling's link right now this post seems to be refering to something that is happening on the site, not the fact that the site exists.
BTW it just me or can the rest of the universe actually see these links? I got a DNS error.
posted by davehat at 7:38 PM on July 10, 2001
BTW it just me or can the rest of the universe actually see these links? I got a DNS error.
posted by davehat at 7:38 PM on July 10, 2001
i think we can back off dchase about now... ;)
and davehat: it's just you.
posted by o2b at 7:53 PM on July 10, 2001
and davehat: it's just you.
posted by o2b at 7:53 PM on July 10, 2001
I'm so jaded from the Kaycee incident. My first thought was that this was fake, because it's posted by Maude, not by Lance.
If Maude is really dead, that's sad. At the same time, having the author die is a surefire way to win on StoryFuck.
If it's fake, then it's pretty clever.
Man, I don't know how to react to this, depending on whether it's real or not. Maybe that's why everyone is talking about why this isn't a double post, rather than the actual post.
posted by ktheory at 8:08 PM on July 10, 2001
If Maude is really dead, that's sad. At the same time, having the author die is a surefire way to win on StoryFuck.
If it's fake, then it's pretty clever.
Man, I don't know how to react to this, depending on whether it's real or not. Maybe that's why everyone is talking about why this isn't a double post, rather than the actual post.
posted by ktheory at 8:08 PM on July 10, 2001
i haven't been able to find any trace of a 'Maude Schroeder.' not even searching the library of congress' site for her books.
i'm not saying she didn't die, and it's not sad... i'm just saying.
posted by o2b at 8:16 PM on July 10, 2001
i'm not saying she didn't die, and it's not sad... i'm just saying.
posted by o2b at 8:16 PM on July 10, 2001
<sigh>
posted by rebeccablood at 8:20 PM on July 10, 2001
posted by rebeccablood at 8:20 PM on July 10, 2001
Ahahahahhaha.
Ahahaaha.
Ahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaahah.
Oh man, you people crack me up.
posted by benbrown at 8:31 PM on July 10, 2001
Ahahaaha.
Ahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaahah.
Oh man, you people crack me up.
posted by benbrown at 8:31 PM on July 10, 2001
I assumed it was a hoax because of the way it was posted. It looks like Maude sent a note to Lance, waited for his reply, then posted it. Am I missing something?
posted by frykitty at 8:34 PM on July 10, 2001
posted by frykitty at 8:34 PM on July 10, 2001
Sent: Sunday, July 09, 2001 11:51 PM
Sunday was the 8th!
The MeFi Detective Agency is back in business, baby!
posted by jpoulos at 8:42 PM on July 10, 2001
Sunday was the 8th!
The MeFi Detective Agency is back in business, baby!
posted by jpoulos at 8:42 PM on July 10, 2001
What benbrown said. Try reading it aloud, and listening to the tone with an ear made not of tin.
(I think we're in Neal Pollack territory here.)
posted by holgate at 9:07 PM on July 10, 2001
(I think we're in Neal Pollack territory here.)
posted by holgate at 9:07 PM on July 10, 2001
hate to jump on the she-who-shall-not-be-named wagon, but... yeah.. amazon's not turning anything up under the titles or authors. sure, amazon doesn't catalog everything, but they do a good job almost doing it...
posted by lotsofno at 9:10 PM on July 10, 2001
posted by lotsofno at 9:10 PM on July 10, 2001
Sigh? The site is called Storyfuck. What were you expecting, puppy dogs and rose petals?
(Totally divergent, but sitting in the same Dewey decimal section: Marc Nesbitt’s story in the current New Yorker is the best that magazine has published in years. Last week’s story, about the waitress in the Chinese restuarant was good too, but gone unless you can find a slack newsstand. Nesbitt had another great story in Harper’s last year about this time.)
posted by capt.crackpipe at 9:22 PM on July 10, 2001
(Totally divergent, but sitting in the same Dewey decimal section: Marc Nesbitt’s story in the current New Yorker is the best that magazine has published in years. Last week’s story, about the waitress in the Chinese restuarant was good too, but gone unless you can find a slack newsstand. Nesbitt had another great story in Harper’s last year about this time.)
posted by capt.crackpipe at 9:22 PM on July 10, 2001
The Mefi storyFuck -- Take it to Metatalk
----------------------------
The cramps start small.
I shift in my seat. I was going to say something to her. I don't.
The car door scorches my arm as it hangs out the window. By now, there's gotta be a large dark patch on the back of my shirt. I enjoy this. Sometimes I get in the car and sit there without rolling down the windows. For five minutes. Sometimes its 120 degrees. For ten minutes. The air I breath is warmer than the esophogus. For 20 minutes. This is what it feels like to be sterilized.
The stomach tightens.
The sound of traffic and the radio fades. The bowels demand concentration. I shift again, this time positioning my ass cheeks together in such a way that the seat offers its full support in the enterprise.
The cheeks on the face begin to flush.
She continues a sprightly conversation with the air. I nod in agreement. Mmmmhmmm.
The internal muscles down there expand and contract involuntarily.
As the gatekeeper, I'm not too worried. I WILL have the final say. I imagine the evolution of the anal sphincter. At what point did natural selection choose a voluntarily contracting anus via sphincter? Way back, for sure. Its never been a good idea to shit where you eat. Even worse if you lack the faculties to distinguish shit from a nutritious meal.
The muscles push on something solid I know. I know because there would be a burning otherwise.
Her conversation hangs expectant. I mutter something vaguely relevant and wish that she'd hurry up, wash her hands and let the restroom door squeak closed behind her.
Chronic contraction of the anal sphincter to avoid bowel movement may be the primary source of hemorrhoids. Hemorrhoids. A mass of dilated veins in swollen tissue at the margin of the anus or nearby within the rectum.
Chronic contraction of the anal sphincter to avoid bowel movement may be the primary source of rectal cancer. Rectal Cancer. A malignant tumor of potentially unlimited growth that expands locally by invasion and systemically by metastasis...in the rectum.
We're all going.
Going.
Going.
Gone.
I've got that much figured out. I know.
This will be a horrible way to go. No, not horrible. Painful? Not with the drugs, assuming I will see a doctor - which I will not. Undignified. What do I know about dignity?
My ass is bleeding and I will die.
Traffic light turns green and I step on the gas. Air I've let in down there bubbles up through the system and forces me to give.
"I'm depressed"
Spoken like a true altruist.
posted by BoatMeme at 9:40 PM on July 10, 2001
----------------------------
The cramps start small.
I shift in my seat. I was going to say something to her. I don't.
The car door scorches my arm as it hangs out the window. By now, there's gotta be a large dark patch on the back of my shirt. I enjoy this. Sometimes I get in the car and sit there without rolling down the windows. For five minutes. Sometimes its 120 degrees. For ten minutes. The air I breath is warmer than the esophogus. For 20 minutes. This is what it feels like to be sterilized.
The stomach tightens.
The sound of traffic and the radio fades. The bowels demand concentration. I shift again, this time positioning my ass cheeks together in such a way that the seat offers its full support in the enterprise.
The cheeks on the face begin to flush.
She continues a sprightly conversation with the air. I nod in agreement. Mmmmhmmm.
The internal muscles down there expand and contract involuntarily.
As the gatekeeper, I'm not too worried. I WILL have the final say. I imagine the evolution of the anal sphincter. At what point did natural selection choose a voluntarily contracting anus via sphincter? Way back, for sure. Its never been a good idea to shit where you eat. Even worse if you lack the faculties to distinguish shit from a nutritious meal.
The muscles push on something solid I know. I know because there would be a burning otherwise.
Her conversation hangs expectant. I mutter something vaguely relevant and wish that she'd hurry up, wash her hands and let the restroom door squeak closed behind her.
Chronic contraction of the anal sphincter to avoid bowel movement may be the primary source of hemorrhoids. Hemorrhoids. A mass of dilated veins in swollen tissue at the margin of the anus or nearby within the rectum.
Chronic contraction of the anal sphincter to avoid bowel movement may be the primary source of rectal cancer. Rectal Cancer. A malignant tumor of potentially unlimited growth that expands locally by invasion and systemically by metastasis...in the rectum.
We're all going.
Going.
Going.
Gone.
I've got that much figured out. I know.
This will be a horrible way to go. No, not horrible. Painful? Not with the drugs, assuming I will see a doctor - which I will not. Undignified. What do I know about dignity?
My ass is bleeding and I will die.
Traffic light turns green and I step on the gas. Air I've let in down there bubbles up through the system and forces me to give.
"I'm depressed"
Spoken like a true altruist.
posted by BoatMeme at 9:40 PM on July 10, 2001
That's it. MeFi is going to 'evolve' itself right into being exclusively MetaTalk. That's the future of this site, I can feel it.
posted by jragon at 9:55 PM on July 10, 2001
posted by jragon at 9:55 PM on July 10, 2001
tee hee.
though...i did see the look on lance's face this afternoon when he got the news, and well, he was pretty stunned...
posted by judith at 10:28 PM on July 10, 2001
though...i did see the look on lance's face this afternoon when he got the news, and well, he was pretty stunned...
posted by judith at 10:28 PM on July 10, 2001
metafucker.
posted by rebeccablood at 11:02 PM on July 10, 2001
posted by rebeccablood at 11:02 PM on July 10, 2001
I have no idea what any of this is about. I still can't see the site.
Anyone want to give an overview?
posted by davehat at 12:01 AM on July 11, 2001
Anyone want to give an overview?
posted by davehat at 12:01 AM on July 11, 2001
kottke rules. kottke is a pipe rehabilitation company. kottke is a trucking company with a big, bright blue marquee. kottke is an acoustic guitarist. sadly, kottke has no anagrams.
thanks to google. now you suck up.
posted by moz at 12:25 AM on July 11, 2001
thanks to google. now you suck up.
posted by moz at 12:25 AM on July 11, 2001
Juanita leaned in and spoke out of the corner of her mouth. "A Dildo," she said evenly.
He tried not to laugh. "A dildo? She attacked you with a dildo?"
"A dildo. A big black one."
Interestingly like a key scene in the John Irving novel Son of the Circus, which scene also belonged to a short story he originally wrote for the New Yorker. A woman is used by her boyfriend drug dealer to move illegal drugs across borders without knowledge. He first introduces her to the joys of a massive dildo, then he says he'll meet her at a given destination, to which destination he insists she should bring the love toy. On the way there, she finds herself in a confrontation with a taxi driver and the only weapon at hand is the massive dildo. She beats the driver with it. Only when she finally meets up with her boyfriend does he melt off a wax seal and reveal the drugs hidden inside.
posted by Mo Nickels at 6:42 AM on July 11, 2001
He tried not to laugh. "A dildo? She attacked you with a dildo?"
"A dildo. A big black one."
Interestingly like a key scene in the John Irving novel Son of the Circus, which scene also belonged to a short story he originally wrote for the New Yorker. A woman is used by her boyfriend drug dealer to move illegal drugs across borders without knowledge. He first introduces her to the joys of a massive dildo, then he says he'll meet her at a given destination, to which destination he insists she should bring the love toy. On the way there, she finds herself in a confrontation with a taxi driver and the only weapon at hand is the massive dildo. She beats the driver with it. Only when she finally meets up with her boyfriend does he melt off a wax seal and reveal the drugs hidden inside.
posted by Mo Nickels at 6:42 AM on July 11, 2001
*CAUTION* This is noise
I like cheese and Lance. If I could get a cheese Lance... Oh! The IMPLICATIONS!
posted by Jeremy at 8:44 AM on July 11, 2001
I like cheese and Lance. If I could get a cheese Lance... Oh! The IMPLICATIONS!
posted by Jeremy at 8:44 AM on July 11, 2001
: throwing up hands :
Oy. Someone bring on the pancakes, please...
posted by metrocake at 9:12 AM on July 11, 2001
Oy. Someone bring on the pancakes, please...
posted by metrocake at 9:12 AM on July 11, 2001
But, is the death of the author an effective cliffhanger?
posted by amanda at 9:21 AM on July 11, 2001
posted by amanda at 9:21 AM on July 11, 2001
only if she doesn't come back.
posted by jcterminal at 11:05 AM on July 11, 2001
posted by jcterminal at 11:05 AM on July 11, 2001
Oh, but I hate that.
Maybe she'll come back but she'll have amnesia and then we'll find out that she's pregnant with Flynn's baby and her evil twin will try and take over her life.
posted by amanda at 11:10 AM on July 11, 2001
Maybe she'll come back but she'll have amnesia and then we'll find out that she's pregnant with Flynn's baby and her evil twin will try and take over her life.
posted by amanda at 11:10 AM on July 11, 2001
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by fraying at 7:01 PM on July 10, 2001