253 posts tagged with Abuse.
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"I had found a steel box in my heart."

"Over the years, when I told people about the abuse I endured at Gafni's hands, many asked, 'Why didn't you tell anyone?' That's a good question. But a better question is what happened when I did tell. It was almost as if I had told no one." So writes Sara Kabakov in a new article, "I Was 13 When Marc Gafni's Abuse Began." [tw for sex abuse] [more inside]
posted by Charity Garfein on Jan 12, 2016 - 17 comments

"You’re a survivor now, not a victim."

Most American rapes go unreported and unpunished. In part because ideas about what constitutes a ‘‘real rape’’ still hinder investigations and prosecutions, and many police officers continue to read vulnerability as complicity. But there is another unacknowledged side to the investigation of sexual assault: the huge numbers of victims who are children or teenagers. New Haven, CT detectives estimate that more than 80 percent of their cases involve minors — a number only slightly higher than national statistics. Such cases are rarely reported immediately, which means that there is rarely any physical evidence to investigate. "To Catch a Rapist:" How New Haven's special-victims unit fights a hidden epidemic of sexual assault that is disturbingly difficult to investigate. (Some may find the descriptions and topics in this article disturbing or triggering.)
posted by zarq on Jan 8, 2016 - 24 comments

The Funny Thing About Abusive Relationships

The Funny Thing About Abusive Relationships "Offhand, there are maybe three times in my life I can clearly recall laughing at something really terrible. One: when my mother told me my grandfather had a heart attack. Two: when a friend and I were driving to Cape Cod and a huge bird careened into the windshield, instantly bonking itself dead. Three: when my friends tried to keep me from going home from a party because they thought my boyfriend might kill me." [more inside]
posted by sweetkid on Jan 7, 2016 - 21 comments

“You can’t squint hard enough to make this gray.”

Navy SEALs, a Beating Death and Claims of a Cover-Up by Nicholas Kulish, Christopher Drew and Matthew Rosenberg [The New York Times] U.S. soldiers accused Afghan police and Navy SEALs of abusing detainees. But the SEAL command opted against a court-martial and cleared its men of wrongdoing.
Abuse of detainees is among the most serious offenses an American service member can commit. Several military justice experts, who reviewed a Naval Criminal Investigative Service report on the case at the request of The Times, said that it had been inappropriate for the SEAL command to treat such allegations as an internal disciplinary matter and that it should have referred the case for an Article 32 review, the equivalent of a grand jury, to consider a court-martial.
[more inside] posted by Fizz on Dec 17, 2015 - 26 comments

"I thought it was normal."

[tw: descriptions of abuse] NHL player Patrick O'Sullivan writes about surviving his abusive childhood, how he came to be a professional hockey player, and what adults should and can do when they see a child who needs their help. [more inside]
posted by Charity Garfein on Dec 15, 2015 - 20 comments

“What kind of police do you call on the police?”

An all-white jury convicted Daniel Holtzclaw of rape. It's almost enough. [The Guardian]
It took 45 hours over the course of four days for an all-white jury in Oklahoma City to decide whether or not they should convict former police officer Daniel Holtzclaw of sexual assault on the word of 13 black women. On Thursday night, the jury opted to believe (most of) them. There is perhaps no bigger test of how blind justice could possibly be than asking any American jury – especially one that is all white and includes eight men – to believe 13 black women over a former police officer and supposed hero football player. It’s easy enough to point to cases where the police were acquitted. And yet, against all expectations this time, justice was blind.
[more inside] posted by Fizz on Dec 12, 2015 - 81 comments

We jog when not carrying items.

This California moving company will move for free women in abusive situations.
posted by Melismata on Dec 11, 2015 - 12 comments

When the intersection of sport and patriarchy turns ugly.

"When I started taking EPO, he told me, 'if you say that to anyone I'm going to kill you" In an exclusive Cyclingnews podcast, Canadian cyclist Geneviève Jeanson details the abusive coach-athlete relationship that she alleges led to her career-long doping. [more inside]
posted by lonefrontranger on Dec 9, 2015 - 46 comments

They battle forces of darkness none of us can see.

"But at some point, my dad stepped into a phone booth and vowed to be more than the sum of his upbringing. He took on the monsters that followed him and declared war on the dysfunctional demons he carried. He chose to give his children the childhood he didn’t have." A Love Letter to the Cycle Breakers. [TW: childhood abuse]
posted by shiu mai baby on Dec 5, 2015 - 9 comments

My Ex Stalked Me for 11 Years

For more than a decade, women’s rights advocate Julie Lalonde was stalked by an ex-boyfriend—and kept silent about it.
posted by torisaur on Dec 4, 2015 - 47 comments

Gaming tribunals and online community management

In an attempt to curb in-game harassment, online gaming communities have tried to develop a variety of workable solutions. One of the most prominent of these communities has been League of Legends (previously, previously), an extremely popular game that uses a virtual judiciary of gamers' peers, among other tactics, to identify problem players and mete out consequences. Two years ago, the tribunal drew public attention when it chose to expel a professional player from the game for a year (potentially ending his gaming career) for harassing other players. But is it working? Preliminary data indicates that the system is helping.
posted by sciatrix on Nov 12, 2015 - 46 comments

The Life & Times of Strider Wolf

The Life & Times of Strider Wolf Trigger warnings for Violence, Child Abuse.
posted by Chrischris on Nov 11, 2015 - 10 comments

Kid Nation

40 kid "castaways."
40 days.
No Adults.
Kid Nation [more inside]
posted by zarq on Nov 9, 2015 - 28 comments

Rising deaths among white middle-aged Americans could exceed AIDS toll

Rising deaths among white middle-aged Americans could exceed AIDS toll in US A sharp rise in death rates among white middle-aged Americans has claimed nearly as many lives in the past 15 years as the spread of Aids in the US, researchers have said. The alarming trend, overlooked until now, has hit less-educated 45- to 54-year-olds the hardest, with no other groups in the US as affected and no similar declines seen in other rich countries. [more inside]
posted by modernnomad on Nov 2, 2015 - 129 comments

Police using their power to sexually abuse and rape

The Associated Press uncovered about 1,000 officers who lost their badges in a six-year period for rape, sodomy and other sexual assault. Warning: the link contains descriptions of some of these events.
posted by nolnacs on Nov 1, 2015 - 52 comments

When it's good, it's great; when it's bad, it's horrid

A 5-year study of 333 Australians found those with the short-short version of the 5-HTTLPR promoter of the SERT serotonin transporter gene were more likely than other adults to be depressed if they had suffered abuse as a child. However, if they hadn't suffered childhood abuse, they were likely to be happier than the rest of the population. This may help resolve inconsistent previous results about the effects of the allele.
posted by clawsoon on Oct 28, 2015 - 3 comments

"The problem of abuse is the greatest challenge the web faces today."

Umair Haque on Why Twitter’s Dying (And What You Can Learn From It):
Can we create a better web? Sure. But I think we have to start with humility, gratitude, reality — not arrogance, privilege, blindness. Abuse isn’t a nuisance, a triviality, a minor annoyance that “those people” have to put up with for the great privilege of having our world-changing stuff in their grubby hands. It will chill, stop, and kill networks from growing, communities from blossoming, and lives from flourishing.
posted by metaquarry on Oct 15, 2015 - 98 comments

“I was robbed of my childhood”

Children are defenseless against abuse. They don’t vote. They don’t organize. They don’t have money to hire lobbyists or spin media campaigns to protect their interests. They don’t have a voice. They rely on adults for protection—and sometimes it’s those same adults who violate their rights. Children of the Tribes is a look at child abuse masked as religious practice in the reclusive and controversial Christian Twelve Tribes sect. Some may find the descriptions of corporal punishment of children at these links disturbing.
posted by zarq on Sep 2, 2015 - 29 comments

It Could Have Been A Utopia

Jaime Prater grew up in the Jesus People U.S.A. commune in Chicago. He set out to make a documentary about the religion, and in the process uncovered widespread sexual abuse of children in the group.
posted by chrchr on Aug 28, 2015 - 20 comments

"Insane and a public danger"

When Science Fiction writer Lou Antonelli felt slighted by David Gerrold, presenter of this year’s Hugo Awards, he did the obvious thing: Wrote to the Spokane police in an attempt to SWAT Gerrold at WorldCon. [more inside]
posted by Artw on Aug 13, 2015 - 211 comments

“Is There Anybody In The World Who Is On My Side?”

"After surviving one of the most high-profile and long-running school sex abuse scandals in history, a group of 32 men and women banded together to seek solace and justice — only to find that public outrage, a star attorney, and overwhelming evidence are no match for a legal process stacked against even the most privileged or traumatized." - Sam Roudman
posted by the man of twists and turns on Jul 24, 2015 - 13 comments

A rattlesnake in the mailbox.

The transformation of Synanon, founded by Charles E. Dederich, from drug rehabilitation program to wealthy, violent cult. Stripped of its tax exempt status and formally disbanded in 1991 (Dederich himself died in 1997), the downward spiral began in 1978 when two members of Synanon's "Imperial Marines" were charged with the attempted murder of attorney Paul Morantz -- via a rattlesnake in his mailbox. [more inside]
posted by automatic cabinet on Jul 21, 2015 - 40 comments

There are no easy answers.

How to Love Your Father When He’s in Prison for Child Porn, an essay by Lindsay Popper. SFW. Some may find the content disturbing.
posted by zarq on Jun 19, 2015 - 61 comments

Staggering

New U.S. government research indicates that female military veterans commit suicide at nearly six times the rate of other women and at rates nearly equal to that of male veterans -- a finding that surprised researchers because women are generally are far less likely than men to commit suicide. The findings raise questions about the backgrounds and experiences of women who serve in the United States' armed forces. [more inside]
posted by zarq on Jun 10, 2015 - 39 comments

“...the darkest most troubling chapters in our collective history”

The Truth and Reconciliation Commission report. [Toronto Star] [Autoplay Video]
A heart-wrenching and damning report culminates a six-year examination of residential schools that oversaw the ill-treatment of aboriginal children for more than a century. It pieces together a horrifying history that has been repeatedly dismissed or ignored.
[more inside] posted by Fizz on Jun 2, 2015 - 25 comments

East Bay Lawyer Makes Domestic Abusers Pay

When Tia Katrina Taruc Canlas studied at UC Berkeley School of Law, she learned from one of her professors, Nancy Lemon, that many survivors of domestic abuse aren't told of all their legal options. Lemon insisted that some enterprising young lawyer should use the civil code some day to seek justice for domestic violence victims. The seed was planted.

Today, Canlas, a Berkeley lawyer, has taken her professor's advice to heart, and is employing a surprisingly underused, survivor-based approach to tackle domestic violence — holding batterers financially accountable in court for their actions. [article contains descriptions of physical & sexual intimate partner abuse] [more inside]
posted by Juliet Banana on May 13, 2015 - 41 comments

The abuser's side of the story

Down the Rabbit Hole is a repository of observations about estranged parent support forums (previously). It contains comparisons of forum culture between discussion sites for estranged parents and those for children, themes of discussion found on estranged parent sites, and possible reasons estranged parent forums develop toxic dynamics.
posted by sciatrix on Apr 29, 2015 - 83 comments

Robocop 3: Robotweet

After years of grief and demands for improvement and ineffective response on their side(previously, previously, previously, etc), which led to the creation of solutions like GG autoblocker(previously), Twitter has updated their user policy in a fairly significant way. They've also added a system which will attempt to algorithmically identify harassment. Victims of previous online abuse are on board with the concept. The response isn't completely positive, however.
posted by emptythought on Apr 23, 2015 - 47 comments

Leaning Out

Love is the only motivating force, and while love can motivate some pretty awful things, it’s nonetheless impossible to do any good without it. I have no love left for my job or career. Tim Chevalier on tech as a coping mechanism and a place of toxicity and moral stagnation.
posted by Zarkonnen on Apr 17, 2015 - 94 comments

Twitter and other social media & the ability for users to tailor content

"Things Left Unspoken: Erasure in Online Discussion of Domestic Violence" - Trigger Warning: Domestic violence, mentions of violent actions, physical abuse, sexual assault. By Catherine [Kiran/Rin] Oliver at Model View Culture. [more inside]
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome on Apr 10, 2015 - 3 comments

Fixing Steve

It had never, in my most repulsive nightmares, occurred to me that my dad might have molested my brother. I believed their unfixable, codependent-isn’t-even-a-big-enough-word relationship was about addiction and guilt and mental illness and hubris and narcissism. No other explanation was needed. When I read Steve’s name on that list while standing in my study with the Russians at my feet, everything froze: the air, my blood, my breath, my brain. I felt it was true. I believed it was true. And I wasn’t even remotely ready for it to be true.
-The Terrible Things I Learned About My Dad: On Abuse and the People We Love
posted by almostmanda on Apr 9, 2015 - 16 comments

"The fact that she is still in jail is the prosecutor."

Cherelle Baldwin has been in prison for 21 months for killing her abuser, despite the fact that a Connecticut jury refused to convict her of the crime. [more inside]
posted by aabbbiee on Mar 10, 2015 - 46 comments

New scrutiny on re-homing of adopted kids

"Re-homing" is the largely unregulated practice by which parents of adopted children in the U.S. hand over those children to new families, with little or no government oversight. While some states started cracking down last year, the issue has gained new attention with the story of Arkansas Representative Justin Harris and his wife. They adopted a pair of girls, 3 and 6, who proved more troublesome than they seemed. Harris and his wife gave the girls to a worker in the religious school he owned, who subsequently raped the 6-year-old. The girls' previous foster family has now raised questions about Harris' story. [Previously, a 2013 Reuters investigation: The Child Exchange - Inside America's underground market for adopted children] [more inside]
posted by mediareport on Mar 9, 2015 - 61 comments

Fostering Profits

“You feel the pressure. You have to make those targets,” said a former worker whose name, due to a signed nondisclosure with Mentor, could not be used. “I went there because I care about services for kids. I eventually became a machine that cared about profits. I didn’t care about kids.” (SL Buzzfeed News Investigation. trigger warning: descriptions of sexual abuse and assault against children)
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Mar 6, 2015 - 52 comments

Punished thirty years on

Adam Crapser was adopted from Korea to abusive parents who were arrested on multiple counts of child abuse and rape. Over thirty years later, one last sting of neglect from his parents came back to bite him: he has been served deportation papers because his adoptive parents failed to complete his naturalization process.
posted by divabat on Mar 5, 2015 - 65 comments

Women speak out about harassment at GDC 2015

Today at the annual Game Developers Conference in San Francisco, Zoe Quinn [previously] and other female game developers spoke out about online harassment and how to fight back. Quinn expressed her disappointment with the lack of action on the part of the game industry and also announced a new partnership between her Crash Override anti-harassment network and Randi Harper [previously] of GG Autoblocker fame, a new anti-harrassment non-profit organization called the Online Abuse Prevention Initiative.
posted by murphy slaw on Mar 4, 2015 - 24 comments

The Debt? (trigger warning)

"In an essay in the New York Times, psychiatrist Richard Friedman writes that the relationship of adults to their abusive parents 'gets little, if any, attention in standard textbooks or in the psychiatric literature.' But Rochelle is not alone. I have been hearing from people in her position for years, adult children weighing whether to reconnect with parents who nearly ruined their lives. Sometimes it's a letter writer such as 'Comfortably Numb' who has cut off contact with a parent but is now being pressured by family members, and even a spouse, to reconcile and forgive. Sometimes a correspondent, like 'Her Son,' has hung on to a thread of a relationship, but is now fearful of being further yoked emotionally or financially to a declining parent." [SLSlate] (Trigger warning for descriptions of abuse.)
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome on Jan 25, 2015 - 37 comments

"A long torture trip was being prepared..."

Extracts of Mohamedou Ould Slahi's Guantanamo diary are read by Stephen Fry, Colin Firth and others as part of the Guardian's Guantanamo Diary series. Previously on Metafilter. [more inside]
posted by mandolin conspiracy on Jan 17, 2015 - 17 comments

The ethics tutorials end when dissent quiets

August Never Ends -- by Zoe Quinn: The machinations of online abuse aren't going away - we need to talk about it.
It’s a head splitting cognitive dissonance to be fielding requests for help from friends who have just gotten swatted at the same time as giving someone else numbers on the harassment and abuse perpetrated by GamerGate because someone he’s talking to thinks it’s over and never had a big impact on people in the first place. This entire week has been spent putting out fires started by scriptkiddies and adults who should know better but are too empty to care about their victims. I’ve been trying to take a day to just be a regular person, recenter myself, and have the energy to get back to work with the same enthusiasm I tend to have, but every attempt gets cut short by some fresh, new, horrible news about someone trying to get into my accounts, a new asinine conspiracy theory being used as an excuse to dox people I went to high school with, friends freaking out because anonymous message board people are talking about how to mail them bombs, or just another death threat. At least the death threats have become somewhat routine.
posted by Theta States on Jan 11, 2015 - 189 comments

Sit on my face and tell me that this parliamentary legislation is wrong

Why were people sitting on other people's faces outside the UK parliament recently? A variety of specific sexual acts were banned from UK-filmed online porn videos under the 2014 Audiovisual Media Services Regulation, which came into effect this month. Protesters say some acts that show women enjoying sex are now banned while similar restrictions do not apply to men. [more inside]
posted by Wordshore on Dec 13, 2014 - 72 comments

it's like waking up to the same nightmare every single day

what it's like to be a 58-year-old virgin [more inside]
posted by and they trembled before her fury on Dec 11, 2014 - 44 comments

On race, feminism and allegations concerning Lena Dunham

In the wake of accusations that Lena Dunham sexually abused her sister (who denies the allegations) The Daily Beast looks at Dunham as an icon of feminism and whether that role means she receives less criticism. [more inside]
posted by Brandon Blatcher on Nov 5, 2014 - 249 comments

You are not alone (trigger warning - sexual abuse)

[Trigger warning] 10 Things No One Ever Told You About Life After Sexual Abuse by Dr Nina Burrowes (Buzzfeed). Illustrations by Nina Burrowes, Katie Green, and Jade Sarson.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome on Nov 1, 2014 - 23 comments

The internal threats of Stephen King's books

The closest a film has ever come to adapting King’s internal-horror aesthetic is a film King himself has publicly lambasted: Kubrick’s version of The Shining. It’s the most artful, scary, and beautifully directed of the King adaptations, and even excludes some of the novel’s more overt (and potentially silly) visual elements, such as the hedge animals that come to life and stalk the family in the yard. Yet, the film never tackles the serious human horrors that infect Jack Torrance throughout the novel, specifically his alcoholism, along with the themes of cyclical abuse and mounting financial pressure. King’s criticism of the film is that Torrance, as played by Jack Nicholson, is portrayed as unhinged right from the start, whereas the novel slowly unravels the man’s sanity, the haunted house he occupies pushing him deeper into madness and violence. [more inside]
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome on Oct 28, 2014 - 87 comments

Let me tell you about being publicly separated from your truth.

"But having survived myself, what I want to do now is help other victims of the shame game survive too. I want to put my suffering to good use and give purpose to my past."
Monica Lewinsky gives her first major public speech to speak out against online abuse. Full transcript here.
posted by iamkimiam on Oct 22, 2014 - 51 comments

How the law turns battered women into criminals

Arlena Lindley’s boyfriend Alonzo Turner beat her for months and murdered her child — so why was she sent to prison for 45 years? "...looking back over the past decade, BuzzFeed News identified 28 mothers in 11 states sentenced to at least 10 years in prison for failing to prevent their partners from harming their children. In every one of these cases, there was evidence the mother herself had been battered by the man." [article contains graphic descriptions of abuse]
posted by desjardins on Oct 2, 2014 - 83 comments

How a Squad of Ex-Cops Fights Police Abuses

In 1997, Smith retired from the police force. He needed a job to help cover his two daughters' college expenses, so he signed up as an investigator in the Broward County Public Defender's Office. He had little idea that he'd end up a key player in a bold experiment in criminal justice, one that aims to give tens of thousands of people who can't afford lawyers a fighting chance in a system stacked against them. It's an effort that suggests new ways for court-appointed attorneys to get at the truth, despite their insane caseloads. And a big part of it is getting former cops to police the police.
posted by ellieBOA on Sep 23, 2014 - 25 comments

“...every angel has a past and every sinner has a future.”

Staten Island’s Pill Problem: [The New Yorker] "New York City is the heroin capital of the country, and the epidemic has hit its most tranquil borough the hardest."
posted by Fizz on Sep 1, 2014 - 18 comments

"Offender-funded" Justice

"These probationers aren’t just paying a court-ordered fine; they’re typically paying an ever-growing share of the court’s administrative expenses, as well as a separate fee to the for-profit company that supervises their probation and enforces a payment schedule—a consolidated weekly or monthly set of charges divided between the court and the company. The system is known as 'offender-funded' justice. But legal challenges to it are mounting, amid concerns about abuse, corruption, and the use of state penalties to collect private profits. In a wide range of cases, offender-funded justice may not result in justice at all." Get Out of Jail, Inc.
posted by supermassive on Aug 7, 2014 - 20 comments

The true measure of a society is how we treat our children

When the Bough Breaks. "Children often can’t tell detectives what happened to them. But their injuries always tell a story. The essence of a child abuse investigation is determining the plausibility of an adult’s story, given the child’s condition. Could the child have sustained the injuries by falling off a bed, tumbling down stairs, or any number of accidents that parents routinely describe? Or does the story fail to account for the injuries?" A profile of Sergeant Brenda Nichols, the head of the Dallas Police Department’s Child Abuse Squad, and one of her cases. (SFW, but the article contains graphic descriptions of child abuse that some readers may find disturbing.)
posted by zarq on Aug 2, 2014 - 17 comments

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