2005 Bulwer-Lytton winners announced! As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed...

Thus begins the winner of the 2005 Bulwer-Lytton bad writing contest. The winning entry was written by Dan McKay, a Microsoft analyst from Fargo, ND.

One of my personal favorites received The Grand Panjandrum's Special Award: India, which hangs like a wet washcloth from the towel rack of Asia, presented itself to Tex as he landed in Delhi (or was it Bombay?), as if it mattered because Tex finally had an idea to make his mark and fortune and that idea was a chain of steak houses to serve the millions and he wondered, as he deplaned down the steep, shiny, steel steps, why no one had thought of it before.
Previous year's winners MF linked here, here, here, here, and, of course, here. Is this a record? A sextuple post?
posted by jasper411 on Aug 1, 2005 - 17 comments

It was a dark and stormy opening paragraph; the extravagant tropes and preposterously periodic sentences fell in torrents. The 2002 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest awards have been announced! If you secretly love prose so bad it's good, the Bulwer-Lytton is for you. A taste:

The blood dripped from his nose like hot grease from a roasting bratwurst pierced with a fork except that grease isn't red and the blood wasn't that hot and it wasn't a fork that poked him in the nose but there was a faint aroma of nutmeg in the air and it is of noses we speak not to mention that if you looked at it in the right profile, his nose did sort of look like a sausage.

posted by Slithy_Tove on Jul 16, 2002 - 6 comments