Seven crazy ‘Harry Potter’ theories we wish had come true This week marks the seven-year anniversary of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. To celebrate, we pick out the seven best fan theories that never came true.
Neville Longbottom is the Most Important Person in Harry Potter—And Here’s Why
See, Rowling largely operates Harry’s generation in a clear system of parallels to the previous generation, Marauders and all. Harry is his father—Quidditch star, a little pig-headed sometimes, an excellent leader. Ron is Sirius Black—snarky and fun, loyal to a fault, mired in self-doubts. Hermione is Remus Lupin—book smart and meticulous, always level-headed, unfailingly perceptive. Ginny is Lily Evans—a firecracker, clever and kind, unwilling to take excuses. Draco Malfoy is Severus Snape—a natural foil to Harry, pretentious, possessed of the frailest ego and also deeper sense of right and wrong when it counts. And guess what?
Neville Longbottom is Peter Pettigrew. [more inside]
In a an interview conducted by Emma Watson appearing on the front page
of today's Sunday Times (embiggen
), Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling admits she regrets Ron and Hermione's relationship
and that Hermione should have wed Harry. Maybe she should have killed Ron
after all. [more inside]
The extended setting of the Harry Potter
series is fertile soil for fans interested in worldbuilding, especially since the release of Pottermore (previously)
, a companion site to the books that includes back-story and adjunt information direct from J.K. Rowling. Some of these worldbuilding projects include explorations on wizarding fashion
, magical education
(including other magical schools
), fantastic beasts (and perhaps where to find them)
, Muslims at Hogwarts
, and the next generation of Hogwarts students
. [more inside]
Did you like A Very Potter Musical? (previously)
Well then, you'll probably want to catch A Very Potter Sequel
, just premiered on YouTube after a special showing at Infinitus.
The Single Mother's Manifesto.
"But wait, some will say. Given that you have long since left single parenthood for marriage and a nuclear family; given that you are now so far from a life dependent on benefits that Private Eye habitually refers to you as Rowlinginnit, why do you care? Surely, nowadays, you are a natural Tory voter? No, I’m afraid not..." J.K. Rowling on welfare, patriotism, and the upcoming UK election. (via Crooked Timber
Teresa Nielsen Hayden dismantles
the latest claims of plagarism
leveled at JK Rowling's Harry Potter series.
, the vibrating broomstick of progress sweeps the Czech Republic. (Czech government likes
Wizard People, Dear Reader
is a bizarre re-reading (or, if you're Tim Burton, a re-imagining) of Harry Potter and the philosophers stone (or sorcerers stone for our friends across the pond). Basically you download it, burn it to CD and play it while watching the DVD. A new art form, a childish gimmick or somewhere inbetween? Everybody
will have a copy soon
, so get busy with the download (courtesy of the ever vigilant Talking Tina at Sissyfight.com).
Faery Lands Forlorn
A.S. Byatt, author of Possession
and other novels, looks at the phenomenon of adults reading the Harry Potter children's books: Ms. Rowling's magic world has no place for the numinous. It is written for people whose imaginative lives are confined to TV cartoons, and the exaggerated (more exciting, not threatening) mirror-worlds of soaps, reality TV and celebrity gossip. Its values, and everything in it, are, as Gatsby said of his own world when the light had gone out of his dream, "only personal." Nobody is trying to save or destroy anything beyond Harry Potter and his friends and family.... Ms. Rowling, I think, speaks to an adult generation that hasn't known, and doesn't care about, mystery. They are inhabitants of urban jungles, not of the real wild. They don't have the skills to tell ersatz magic from the real thing, for as children they daily invested the ersatz with what imagination they had.
Harry Potter fever has started.... Some individual or group of individuals managed to walk off with 7680 copies of "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
" Reuters has an article here
mentioned that the books are worth about 130500 pounds. MSNBC is behind the times
with their stolen article and are reporting ~$1.68 Million.
JK Rowling's expecting - twice over
. A new baby's on the way and the new book's almost finished. Ain't life grand.
Fake Harry Potter novel hits China.
An anonymous Chinese author has decided JK Rowling is taking too long to write the fifth book - so has written a new adventure to satisfy the huge Potter market in the country, according to a report in The Times. Harry Potter And Leopard Walk Up To Dragon
, on sale in Beijing street markets for about £1, is selling fast to the dismay of the publisher of the genuine Potter books in China.
OK, this whole Harry Potter thing - while completely out of proportion to any real value in the books - has up till now been pointless but essentially harmless. But wasting a Hugo Award on this crap?!
To quote (oh, I don't know, some Clinton-hating Republican): "Where's the outrage?!"
Aw, for the love of Kee-rist, can't anyone quit screwing with stuff
Columbus plans to shoot parallel versions of the first film -- one for the U.S.
market and one for Britain. His plan is to shoot two or three alternate sequences
for each film and to give the British film the first novel's original British title,
"Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone." The American film will be called,
"Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone."
An honest review of Harry Potter.
Page One of Harry Potter IV
posted at the The Standard. Man, I hope this is a spoof.
Jeez, these people need to get a clue
. Children should be encouraged to read anything they want, and as much as they please. So what if Harry Potter books have wizards and witches in them? Even kids can tell fact from fiction...when are the adults going to figure that out?